"Hiya, Niles!" Fran said cheerfully as she entered the kitchen. "You got anything to eat around here?"
"Help yourself," Niles answered, nodding towards the open pantry. Fran scanned its contents quickly before selecting an opened box of Oreo cookies. She then reached for a knife and began methodically pulling the cookies apart, scraping off the cream and spreading it all onto a single cookie.
"What on earth are you doing?" Niles asked quizzically, puzzled by Fran's actions.
"Oh, I was feeling a little bloated the other day and I've gone back to Weight Watchers," Fran explained. "They're very strict, you know. They only allow you one cookie."
"I see," Niles muttered sardonically, amused by the rapidly-growing tower of cream on that one cookie.
"Don't start with me, Niles!" Fran said playfully, wagging her finger at him. "You keep quiet about this and I won't tell Max about the Cuban cigars I found hidden in the bread bin yesterday."
Niles chuckled. "It's a deal."
"So, what are you doing home on a Friday night, anyway?" Fran asked, closing her eyes blissfully as she bit hungrily into her loaded cookie. "No Butlers Association meeting tonight?"
"No, they've moved those to Monday nights and as we both know, I have no other semblance of a social life," Niles replied.
Although his tone of voice would have sounded light-hearted to the average person, Fran wasn't fooled. She detected that he was more disappointed about the situation than he was letting on.
She moved to stand beside him, putting her hand on his shoulder comfortingly.
"What's eating you, Niles? I can tell something's wrong."
Niles glanced at her with a slight smile. "Feminine intuition - the old instincts are back, are they?"
"You bet they are! And you know they never fail," Fran agreed enthusiastically.
"Except for the time when you sent Mr Sheffield's book to various publishing companies only to receive rejections and the time that you thought he'd sent you a valentine but it was really from Brighton's friend and the time..."
"Alright, alright! Do I keep a list of your mistakes?" Fran protested. "And don't think you're going to change the subject so easily, mister. I invented that trick."
Niles sighed heavily. "Well, if you must know, and I know you must, I received a wedding invitation today."
He reached into his apron pocket and pulled out a sheet of creamy paper covered with delicate calligraphy and tied with a lavender ribbon.
"Ooh, fancy," Fran said approvingly, as she reached out and took the invitation from him. "Whose wedding is it, anyway?"
"It's Catherine's."
Fran frowned. Something about the name rang a bell. "Catherine? Catherine. Hold on, is she..."
"The housemaid that I was in love with for all those years but eventually lost because I couldn't reveal my feelings for her? Yes, that's the one."
"But I thought you told me that she'd gotten married ages ago," Fran said in confusion, trying to make sense of the puzzle at hand.
Niles laughed bitterly. "Oh, that's just it. It's her second wedding. She buried one husband last year and has already found another."
"Oy. And let me guess, you're still in love with her?" Fran ventured cautiously, not sure why else her dear friend would be so upset.
Niles shook his head vehemently. "No, that's not it. I am most definitely not in love with her."
Fran frowned. "I'm sorry, I don't follow you. If you're not in love with her, then why are you upset that she's getting married?"
"I'm upset, as you say, because after our own love affair, Catherine managed to find two other people she loved enough to marry. And yet I haven't even found one."
"Oh!" Fran exclaimed, her eyes lighting up in understanding. "I get you, I get you."
She patted Niles comfortingly. "Oh, believe me, I've been there and done that."
Niles smirked. "Well, actually, you had a rather different problem. You had no shortage of men that you would have liked to marry – they all just happened to have something wrong with them."
"Oy, don't remind me," Fran groaned, as she silently reminisced about her years as a single 30-something woman in Manhattan. She didn't miss those days at all. She thanked God daily that she and Maxwell had finally managed to bypass all the obstacles in their path and get married.
Niles nodded. "Then you understand how I feel at this moment, Miss Fine...uh, Mrs Sheffield."
Fran laughed. "Sweetie, we've known each other for such a long time that you might as well just call me Fran."
"You're right...Fran," Niles said tentatively, a hint of cheer finally lighting up his solemn face.
"Tell me, is this how you and Mr Sheffield ended up on a first-name basis?" he asked curiously.
"Oh, no, it was his idea...and I can tell that you're trying to change the subject again," Fran chided.
"Look, Niles, I'm sure there must be a wonderful woman out there for you. You just haven't met her yet! You've got to get out there, mingle, meet new people. Carpe diem!"
"You speak Latin?" Niles asked, simultaneously surprised and impressed.
Fran looked momentarily confused and then her expression cleared. "Well...Pig."
Niles shook his head in amusement, not bothering to correct her. Over the years, like every other member of the family, he'd come to see Fran's naivety as being rather refreshing. It was now accepted as part of her charm.
"I do appreciate your concern...Fran," he murmured. "However I'm not quite sure I'm the kind of person who likes to mingle and meet new people. I've become so accustomed to leading a solitary life that I really wouldn't know where to begin."
Fran beamed. "And this is where I come in!" she exclaimed in delight. She rubbed her hands together gleefully.
"I beg your pardon?"
Fran impulsively grabbed Niles by the hand and dragged him towards the flight of stairs.
"Where are we going? I have a roast in the oven!" Niles exclaimed in surprise.
"Your roast will keep," Fran said dismissively. "Your future wife, on the other hand, will not. I'm going to work some magic on you now. By the time I'm done with you, you are going to be the most eligible man within a fifty-mile radius."
She winked at him. "Even more so than Roger Clinton."
"Dear Lord," Niles mumbled as Fran hurried him upstairs. "What have I gotten myself into?"
Author's Note: Hi there! So I've been a fan of The Nanny for a very long time and own Seasons 1-3 on DVD...when are they going to bring out the other seasons, already?
But this is my first Nanny fic and I would really appreciate hearing what you think about this. If you would like to read more, PLEASE review. =) I will only be continuing this story if people are interested in it.