Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Hannah Montana. Despressing isn't it?

Chapter 1: Looking Back

Have you ever woken up thinking that today is going to be the same as any other day? That it will be the same dull, boring day that you think is one less day till Friday?

You might wake up on that day, nervous perhaps a test you have or maybe getting marks back.

In my opinion those are the days to treasure because I thought like that but I don't anymore. Because in one instant, those days can do a 180 and turn into a much more interesting day.

Maybe you won the lottery, or maybe you got a new car? Perhaps you got a call from a radio show telling you won a prize of concert tickets or money. Because I got a call and it definitely wasn't The Edge telling me I won concert tickets to Lady Gaga.

I now officially envy people who say that they had a pretty uneventful day. It seemed so unfair but then again life isn't fair.

Names' Miley Stewart and for a while I thought my life was simply the best. I had a wonderful father and even though me and my brother fought, we loved each other and I couldn't have asked for a better brother (believe me I've tried). I had two best friends who have gone through everything with me. Their names are Oliver Oken and Lilly Truscott. Oliver was a dorky kind of guy but he was a nice guy who was there for me. Lilly, now Lilly is like my sister. I couldn't have asked for a better friend who is always, always there for me.

Not only that but I was also the teen pop sensation Hannah Montana. Fans loved me and I was a role model for so many little kids. Life sure was good.

But then my perfect world came crashing down……..in one instant.

I should have seen the signs that pointed to this. Man was I stupid back then! It may have seemed obvious now but back then it wasn't.

The day I found out was like a stain in my memory. Ever spilt something that you couldn't get out and every time you see it, it's a constant reminder of what happened? Yeah, it was a lot like that.

I shall never forget the day it happened.

I thought it was a regular day: wake up, eat, go to school, eat, do homework, eat do a Hannah concert, eat and then go to sleep.

That is not always the case it seems.

-Flashback-

I had just finished my final song (Let's Get Crazy for the night. .

"Good show darling." My Dad said, placing his hand on my back, when I came backstage.

"Thanks Daddy!" I said hugging him and then grabbing something to drink.

Dads' phone then went off.

We both checked the caller ID. Dad didn't like this person very much. I looked at Dad.

"Be nice." I said raising my eyebrows.

"Fine." He said picking up.

"Hello………yes speaking……aha……alright………yeah………calm down……calm down, I can't hear you………aha………alright, we'll be right over." He hung up.

"What was that all about?" I asked taking a sip of my drink.

"That was Ms Truscott; she said something has to tell us. We got to go to her house, like right now."

"Okay." I said wondering what was going on.

Maybe they're moving. No, Lilly would have told me today. I didn't know what would happen. I had to get changed in the limo because we were going straight over to Lillys'. I wonder if Dad knew what was going on. It seemed like he didn't.

Half an hour later, we arrived at her house. I had barely stepped outside my house before I saw Oliver and his family run up to meet us.

"Do you know what is going on?" He asked looking confused.

I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders.

"Not a clue."

"Oh." Oliver said.

We walked up to the house together; both wondering what is in store for us.

We reached the house, Oliver rang the doorbell and Mr Truscott answered it. I received a shock when I saw him. His clothes were ragged, his face was stained with tears and he looked a mess.

I took a step back.

"What's going on?" I asked looking worried.

He just shook his head.

"Come in." He said in a wary voice.

We all stumbled in: The Okens, Oliver, Dad and I. Jackson was already here with a confused look on his face. I looked around at the familiar faces. They all looked lost and confused. I felt like someone was missing but at that time I couldn't place it.

"Do you know what is going on?" Jackson asked me as soon as I walked through the door.

"Nope."

"Oh." He had the same reaction as Oliver.

Mr Truscott showed us into the kitchen were Ms Truscott had her head in her arms, crying over a piece of paper it looked like.

But as soon as she heard us, she looked up.

"What's going on?" I asked, feeling lost.

Ms Truscott couldn't speak it seemed.

Mr Truscott cleared his throat.

"We, um, we have something to tell you." He said.

Ms Truscott nodded.

"Okay." Dad said.

I then realise who was missing.

"Where's Lilly?" I asked.

Ms Truscott let out a wail and buried her head in her arms again.

"What?" I asked looking at everyone.

There was an awkward silence as everyone looked at the Truscotts.

"I think I'll go find her." I said making it looked like I was heading for the stairs.

"Y-Y-ou wo-won't-t f-f-ind her-er." Ms Truscott stammered, speaking at last.

I turned around.

"Why?" I said voicing the question we were all thinking.

"She………she……she……" Ms Truscott said trying to get the words out.

We all looked at her questionably.

"She's dead." Ms Truscott said in barely a whisper.

I felt like my heart was ripped out. My stomach plummeted, I began to sweat and my heart began to race. I could feel tears come to my eyes.

"What?" Everyone said.

"She's gone." Mr Truscott said in a husky whisper.

I couldn't believe it. I DID NOT want to believe it.

"She can't have!" I said, tears forming in my eyes.

"She is." Mr Truscott said.

"But how, when?"

"Last night." Mr Truscott said. "We found her this morning."

I gulped.

"How?" I said in a croaky voice.

The Truscotts looked at each other.

"What?"

They didn't answer. There was a silence. No one was dared to even make a sound.

"Suicide." Ms Truscott said in a voice that was barely audible.

"WHAT?" We all said.

"She killed herself?" I asked. "Why?"

I could not believe it. Lilly wasn't depressed. Was she? I had no idea. Fresh tears started to fall.

Ms Truscott shook her head and let out another wail of despair.

"NO!" I shouted and ran for it.

I could hear Oliver after me but I didn't care.

I found myself at Lillys' room. I don't know why I was up here. I opened the door and gasped. Lilly was lying on her bed, clearly dead. I looked around the door. I didn't remember Lilly having red carpet, red bed sheets and red patterns on her curtain.

But then I realised she had grey curtains, carpet floor and cream bed sheets. The room was covered in blood.

I felt sick. I wanted to throw up but I couldn't.

Oliver burst through the door and his face fell.

"Oh my God." He said in a murmur.

The tears started to fall more quickly now as I looked at my deceased friend.

I don't know why but I walked towards her.

"What are you doing?" Oliver asked looking at me, his voice thick with tears.

I shook my head as I moved closer to her.

Closer, I could see details I didn't see before. She looked so peaceful and happy. That's strange. How could killing herself make her that happy? Was she really that unhappy here? Her hand caught my eye. I looked closely at it. There was a blade in it. She had cut both her wrists. She really had killed herself. Before I didn't want to believe it but now I had to.

I collapsed in pain and tears.

Oliver came over and hugged me. We both just sat there, crying silently.

Despair washed over us like a huge wave.

I don't remember Dad coming up, picking me up and taking me home.

The whole night I cried and cried.

The last thing I said that night was.

"Why did you do it?" Before drifting into an uneasy sleep.

-End-

That day was probably the worst day of my life. For ages I shouted out into space "Why the hell did you do it?" No one knew. So I decided to find out for myself.

I went back to the Truscotts the next week. Ms Truscott let me in but left as soon as I got through the door. It seems like no-one wants to be in that house much. I ran up the stairs to her bedroom.

I could still see her lying in the bed, blood everywhere. I felt the tears come back but I wiped them away. I had to know.

I had to know why my best friend needed to commit suicide. Little did I realise how complicated it was.

A/N: Yeah so I wanted to write a despressing story and this idea was in the back of my brain for ages so I thought I would finally write it. Hopefully there will be about 10 or more chappies. So please review!!!!