Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.
Author's Note: Don't ask I just really wanted to write Camaya.
Maya Matlin was always Campbell's light.
In the dark hole his sadness had caused him to sink into, she was the only thing that could ever make him feel like there was hope of getting out.
She was like his small lighthouse, shining a tiny ray of light into his dark, stormy sea.
Everything about her made him smile. Made him feel whole and alive, something that he hadn't felt since coming to Toronto.
Without his family, Cam felt incomplete. He felt sad and lost, and nothing he did or said was ever right when it came to interacting with his fellow Degrassi students.
But Maya had changed that. Maya had given him friends. She made him crawl out of his shell that he tightly clutched. Maya was literally his everything.
Cam observed his bandaged hand as he sat in the Zen garden, waiting for Maya to arrive for their lunch date. He felt indifferent towards his injured hand, and that scared him.
He knew he should feel disgusted, ashamed, and apart of him did, but for the most part, he felt nothing.
"Hey, Cheesy," Maya said, taking his good hand into her own small one and sitting beside him. She wore her usual bright smile, her eyes twinkling as she looked at him.
"Hey," he said, kissing her softly.
"Today's the big day." She said giddily.
He had to stifle a groan of despair.
"It is," he said indifferently.
Today was the day his cast would be removed. Today was the day where he'd have to get back to hockey. The day that marked where he'd be seeing less of Maya and more of his teammates.
He'd have to spend hours with them as they would mock him, teased him. They had ruined hockey for him, and he hated them for that.
"Aren't you excited?" Maya asked confusedly, her expression worried.
He held back another groan. Maya was suspicious again.
It would come and go; her suspicions of what he did to himself, but he found lying about it easy. He could squash her theories as fast as she thought of them, but he knew deep down she didn't believe him.
"Yeah, I am. I'm just sad that it'll mean less of us and more of hockey." Cam said, brushing her hair.
Maya eyed him, but said nothing.
"What?" He asked, trying not to sound annoyed.
"Nothing," she said, leaning into him.
"Just say it, Maya." He said.
"You already know what I'm going to say, and I already know that you're going to tell me you're not, and then we're going to pretend it's true until I do this again." She said sadly, taking his bandaged arm into her hands. "I just wonder how long we're going to pretend, you know."
Cam felt his face pale. "I'm telling you the truth. I wouldn't lie to you, Maya."
Maya gave a sad laugh. "A lie right there. I just wish," she said, looking down at his hand sadly, tears dripping from her eyes. "I just wish you'd let me help you."
Cam felt something spark inside him as he pulled his arm back. "I don't need help, Maya. I. Am. Fine!" He snapped at her.
"If you were then you wouldn't be sad all the time!" She cried, looking at him.
His heart cracked, looking at her with tears streaming down her face. Tears he had caused.
Somewhere along the way he had given her his pain to share. Pain she didn't understand. Pain she didn't know origins of. But they shared the burden of what Cam had done, and he couldn't admit to it. He couldn't admit to himself that he was that loser who hurt himself. He just wanted to be happy, and Maya made him happy. That was enough.
"I'm not sad." He lied easily.
"You're such a liar, Campbell Saunders!" Maya said angrily. "You look me in the eye and tell me you didn't break your arm on purpose. Look me in the eye and tell me that cut on your hand was an accident."
Cam wanted to cry.
Why was she doing this to him?
They were doing okay pretending that everything was fine. And it was fine. He was with her.
"I'm fine, Maya. Why can't you just believe me?" He asked, trying not to cry.
"Because you and I both know it isn't the truth!" She said fiercely. "I want to believe your lie, but I can't. I care about you too much to believe in a lie when you're hurting yourself."
"I'm not hurting myself!" He yelled at her, making her recoil.
He'd never yelled. Not at her. The fact that he had made his heart shatter as he watched his sunshine fade.
He had brought her into his storm of sadness. He had ruined her with what he'd done. He had broken her with his endless supply of lies, instead of going to her for help and comfort.
Now it was too late.
She wasn't his anymore. He couldn't be honest with her.
"If you want to believe I'm hurting myself fine." He said, his voice dripping with malice. "You can believe it all you want by yourself."
Maya's eyes widened. "Cam, I –"
But he had turned and was leaving her.
"No, Cam, don't! I'm sorry." She cried, grabbing his hand.
"I'm sorry, Maya." He said, taking his hand from hers and walked out the door, hearing her fall to her knees and sob, and as he sank to the floor on the other side of the door, he cried too.
He had thrown the one good thing in his life away for a lie.
Author's Note: Like I said I have no idea with this came from. It was sadly supposed to be such a happy story and when it started writing this happened. Let's call it a prediction of what will happen on Degrassi, shall we?
Like seriously though, if this happens on Degrassi I'm going to be sobbing. Call me pathetic, but I seriously have tears in my eyes picturing this happening with Cam and Maya.