Disclaimer: Nope.

A/N: Quickly wrote this up, hope it doesn't seem too rushed – most of my fics seem like they were done in a couple of minutes (which, err, is true). D:

Edit 2/1/09: Thanks to reviewer 'Katsura' for giving me the name of Ikumatsu's restaurant! (Also, Katsura is a lovable idiot-it's his endearing point!)

Enjoy!

Summary: The Shinsengumi trio, Kondo, Hijikata, and Okita, decide to dine out for once. But it seems that work follows them wherever they go.

Dining Out

by Blitzphyd

"Oi, Toshi."

Hijikata flipped a page of the comic he was currently engrossed in and grunted in acknowledgement to the Shinsengumi commander.

"It's eight o'clock," Kondo observed solemnly.

Another grunt. Flip.

Kondo's eyebrows depressed even further. "Eight o'clock."

Flip. Grunt.

"Toshi…" His mouth was a flat line.

No reply.

Suddenly, a monstrous reverberation shook the entire Shinsengumi complex.

Hijikata leapt into action, comic abandoned on the floor, and snapped out his trusty katana. In contrast, Okita strode into the room calmly, a questioning look on his usually passive face. "What the hell was that?!" Hijikata demanded, eyes flicking back and forth across the perimeter for a possible invasion.

Kondo assessed his subordinates carefully, his expression of utmost seriousness still in place.

"…I'm hungry."

-

The ding of the door alerted Ikumatsu that customers had just arrived.

"Welcome to Hokutoshinken! I'll be right with you so please sit down," the dark-blonde-haired woman said from her place behind the counter, occupied with sorting money and did not lift her head to see her visitors.

"No need to tend to us–we already know what we want. We'll have three orders of beef ramen, please!" Kondo announced with a smile, the first to enter the quaint restaurant.

Ikumatsu, her mind still preoccupied with numbers, offered a wave and disappeared into the back.

"But why a ramen shop?" Okita whined as he trudged through the door. He propped himself into the seat across from Kondo.

Hijikata took a long drag of his nicotine stick, eyes closed as he settled into the seat next to the smiling commander. "It's cheap, nearby, and cheap. We have to cut back on how much we spend, ever since the higher-ups decided to cut our pay in half."

"Hahaha!" Kondo broke into laughter and smacked Hijikata roughly on the back (prompting the black-haired-man to choke on the smoke fumes), "Toshi, you shouldn't say that! People will start to think we're only in it for the money!"

Recovered, Hijikata scowled in black fury, "We can't live off of chocolate, leek, and ramen for the rest of our lives!" Then he rounded on Okita, jabbing a finger at him, "And you! Why do you always need to blow up buildings wherever you go?! The reason we're on a low budget is because we have to pay for the destruction you cause!"

"Ah, the food's here."

"Don't go ignoring me, bastard!" Hijikata reached across the table and yanked the sadist by the collar, intent on giving him a good thrashing when–

"Three orders of beef ramen?"

–asked a familiar voice.

It was Kotaro Katsura, the wanted terrorist, decked in waiter's clothes, balancing three steaming bowls on his arms. He halted mid-step. And stared at the three officers.

They returned the stare.

Hmm…perhaps I should turn back now…slowly… Katsura thought quite calmly.

Suddenly he threw the bowls at them, saying, "Your ramen is served! Please enjoy!" He turned on his heel, making a one-eighty-degree turn, and dashed through the restaurant doors. "I'll be back later, Ikumatsu-saaaaaaaaaaan…!!"[1] he yelled behind him.

Hijikata, stunned by the liquid sliding down his face, shook his head vehemently. He leapt up, flicking out his sword and brandishing in the air, and shouted, "Why you little–come back here!" He flew through the doors.

Okita merely produced his standard bazooka seemingly out of thin air and smiled at the turn of events, quickly following the fuming Shinsengumi commander out onto the streets.

Meanwhile, still sitting in his seat with his arms crossed over his chest, Kondo blinked. Slices of cucumber pasted to his face and wavy noodle strands piled over his thick hair like some ramen alien. Then his shoulders began to shake and he roared with laughter, an idiotic grin on his lips.

"Ikumatsu-san, this new style of serving is quite interesting, hahaha!"

[1] Because Katsura is an idiot (a lovable idiot!), and would totally give away his future location without realizing it!

Comments are always welcome; I'd love to hear what you all think! (smile)