"Happy Birthday Maxxi," I whispered. I knew my voice was cracking. I knew my pillow cover was soaked in tears. I knew my body was shaking. I knew I was pregnant. I knew Maxxi was dead.

***

I was scared. I was 18. I'd just finished college and I was headed off to High Mount University within the span of two months. I was also pregnant. I was sitting at our usual spot by the sea shore, hugging my stomach as I looked out at the sea, a single tear rolled down my cheek. Maxxi and I had been dating since we were 16, and we practically knew each other inside out. We knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, we knew that we loved each other. I remembered the times we'd spent sitting right here, talking about how we'd go to HM Uni together, get a kick start on our careers; him into journalism, me into media - and once we were stable, we'd get married.

We'd had it all planned out, really well. But never had we even pictured a baby in all of this. A baby... our baby. What would he say? How would he react? Would he be happy? Would he be angry? I didn't know what to expect. Did I want to be a mother at 18? I... didn't know. I was scared.

"Guess who," Maxxi whispered, his hands covering my eyes,

"Hey Max," I greeted, taking his hands off my eyes, pulling his arms down to seat him next to me. He snaked his arm around by shoulder, pulling me into an awkward side hug, before kissing my hair.

"Whats up babe? You said you wanted to talk?" he asked, still hugging me,

"I did..." I replied, my voice cracking. "Max, I -" my voice cracked, and Maxxi pulled away from the hug, before lifting my face up to see the fresh tears that'd escaped my eyes

"Abby, are you crying?" He looked startled, "Whats wrong Abs? Why are you crying?!" I nearly laughed, nearly.

"Maxxi... don't hate me for this," I said, as I his hands in mine, before shifting slightly so i was kneeling on the sand, I didn't know how I was going to do this... I shut my eyes, stopping the flow of tears, breathing as i slowly opened my mouth, and let the words roll off my tongue. "Max I - I'm pregnant." I didn't open my eyes, I didn't want to see what Max's reaction would be. Not yet. Not until he said something. I tried to picture his face; would he be shocked? angry? upset?

"How long have you known?" his voice was soft, but there was an edge to it. I opened my eyes slowly, my vision was blurry. I wiped my eyes using the back of my hand. His face was blank, expressionless. This face rarely ever came on; he was... uncertain.

"I found out last night," I muttered quietly

"I honestly don't know what to say Abby... When... How?"

"I don't know."

"It's... mine?"

"Maxxi!" I exclaimed, snapping my eyes up at him, bewildered at how he could even think about asking me that. "Of course its yours! Whose else would it be?!"

"I was just saying..."

"Think before you speak next time!" I snapped - how could he?

"I..I'm sorry Abby. I.. I'm not good at this sort of thing. First time, y'know?" He was trying to be funny - weird, it worked.

"Really? No way!" I muttered, a watery smile crossing my lips as I looked up at him, gazing into his green eyes,

"Are... you going to keep it Abby?" What was I supposed to say to that?

"I.. I don't know Max. I don't know! I'm just... so confused! I don't know!"

"Shh.. shh. It's gonna be okay Abby." he pulled me into that awkward side hug again, and I lay my head on his chest, "I'll be alongside you no matter what, I'm here for you Abby. I swear, whatever your decision, I'll support you through it. I love you Abagail Brooks."

"I love you too."

***