DISCLAIMER: Not all words are mine. Most, if not all, were just favorite lines/lyrics copied verbatim and compiled into one story (or more like summary). Plot inspired from a Korean series (Goong) suggested by a friend. Thus, I dedicate this to her! To Patty, this is all for you girl! :) I also do not own Gakuen Alice. Thank you for reading.

PERHAPS LOVE

(Song Title Origin: Perhaps Love by Howl ft. J)

Natsume Hyuuga

I don't know when it all started, when my head became dizzy with thoughts of you. These thoughts would often pop up in my mind. I feel anxious as my heart expands towards you. It's nothing. It's just a little thing. Your words are awkward to me. What are you? Who are you to make me as confused as this? If I wasn't the crown prince. If only both of us disagreed with the arranged marriage, I wouldn't have gotten the chance to hold you like this. To hug you. And feel whatever feeling I have right now.

How did it ever reach this point anyway?

I could still remember those moments when I hated your guts. Thinking that you only married me for money, I was disgusted. I'm irritated by your naivety, your enthusiasm. I had a life before. I had a girl friend who I really know. Unlike you, she was someone who was a lot like me—restricted and lonely. And so, we easily understood each other. We could easily fulfill each other's needs.

But of course, that was all before I met you. That was all before I get to know you.

Yes, I've hurt you thousands of times before. I've pushed you away countless of times. Because I didn't like you at first. And it would be easier that way too. Two or three years from now, we would go on with the divorce. We'd be taking our separate ways. And when that perfect time comes, when I'd finally have the courage to let you go, I don't want to feel lonely or pain. That whenever I would meet you on the street, I would be able to smile at you. And it wouldn't be awkward.

But how would I be able to do that now when the things I could only remember are your smiles and those times my heart would beat in confusion whenever you would hug me from the back? Those tears that would fall like melancholic raindrops every time I pushed you away? And I would feel like I had been broken into tiny little pieces upon realizing that those tears were all for me. How would I be able to move on when I could no longer erase your face even for a second?

In so many ways, you have changed me. I don't know since when but we both came along the same path. Just as you shook me, you brought my heart out of my hidden cave. Just like my heart was broken, I became more and more curious of you. I wanted to see you and with the mere thought of you, I would smile silly. The more I get to know you, the more I acknowledge that charm you have that flutters my heart every damn time.

Before, I was this smug, indifferent and insensitive young man. But then, you came and showed me a new perspective of the world. You might have been immature and irritating, but you're also kindhearted, innocent and honest. And your genuine sweetness is what turned this once lonely young man into something much more.

Before, I wanted to be as free as a balloon. But when I became the crown prince, I gave up everything. I never thought about my dreams ever again. Because either way, my future was already decided and it would no longer change just because I dreamt. But after I met you, it came to me that I wanted to have a dream. I was able to dream again. I dreamed that whenever I am with you, I would be able to fly. And with you, I wanted to see such kind of dream.

My world once again became colorful. It was painted by your color.

Is it love? If you feel the same way, is it a beginning? My heart keeps saying that it loves you. It screams out for the whole world to hear. Why has it taken so long for me to hear it? I sit around, mumbling to myself like a fool. I'm sorry. Truly, I am sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't able to tell you all these things a bit sooner, to the point of even allowing you to doubt about me, yourself… of us.

Why did some random girl butt into my life with her big staring eyes, asking me this and that anyway? When I listened to your words, it felt like my life was a fake. All the things that I once believed were real, felt fake within seconds. Sometimes, I think about this often. And sometimes I would ask myself, will I be able to live without you?

All in all, I bet I could live without you. People will always get adapted to the new environment slowly. I lived without you for how many years. I could get used to my normal life without you. But I might miss your presence. Because of you, I was tired, fought with you and all those times when we made up. I think it became a habit. Like as if I don't do something that I have done daily, I feel empty.

Yes, I won't just feel bored when you're gone. I'd feel empty. Besides, why would I even choose to be bored anyway? When I can feel utmost happiness whenever I'm with you.

I do not deny though. There were really those times long ago when I wanted to let you go. But more often were the times when I don't. So before my heart wants to let you go, which I think would no longer happen ever again, growing old together is not a bad idea.

Stars have a reason to die, and so do humans. 2.5 million years. When those 2.5 million years pass, they say that you might even meet again the people you know. I may be leaving your side after this lifetime but in 2.5 million years and we would meet again, I think I would still like you. I would still search for you. I would still call for your name until you'd be able to hear me loud and clear.

Let's name it eternity—this nameless love. There's just one. The two of us need no other words. Looking into your eyes, I vow this. Let me be by your side in whichever lifetimes, forever. I pray for this to be true. I cannot part with you. I would miss you. I offer my everything to you. In a sky that's all yours, I'll put a rainbow. And we'll cross it together.

The two of us were bound together by small miracles. I'm sure of it.

It was because I'm the crown prince that I've found you. It was because of this arranged marriage that I fell for you. And it was because of you that I no longer wished to let you go… even if it meant me losing my title. That is how you have changed me. That is how you have drugged me with your smiles and your tears and your generous heart that never failed to give and forgive.

I found you, my love, the person I've been looking for. I want to embrace you passionately. Stay still and close your eyes so that I can kiss you. I found you, the one person to stay beside me; the person who embraced my wounded heart and painful scars. I want to give you even more of what I can possibly give now. I want to embrace you even more. I want to cherish you… forever.

Remembering my sister's question: Can two people who marry without love ever found love? Before, I couldn't answer that question. Well, I think it would be more like I didn't want to answer that question. I want to deny as much as I can. I was scared of knowing what my answer would be. But now, I would no longer hide. I would no longer deny simply because I don't want to anymore.

So, yes. Yes, it is possible that two people who marry without love ever found love. After all, that is what happened to me.

And it was the greatest thing that happened to me.

I had closed my heart. But now, to you, I give it. I finally found my other half. From this day on, I will be with you. I'll only give you fond memories. Please don't leave me ever. Even the shortest moments without you makes me uneasy. Please stay beside me.

I'm sorry that these words are so late, or if they might not come out at all. But I'll always be here, waiting for you shamelessly. When I wake up the next day, I want you to be there still, smiling up at me with your innocent brown eyes. Will you by any chance still be here tomorrow? I know I may not be the kind of guy who express his feelings publicly. But if only you knew how much I already love you. It was so much. I already love you so much.

The person who stole my heart is not me, but know clearly that it's you. Thank you for coming into my life.

You are the only one… Mikan.

.

Tears streamed out of her hazel eyes as Mikan folded the piece of paper and placed it back inside Natsume's drawer. She never knew that the big jerk could actually feel as deep as that. If only he told her earlier, she wouldn't have hesitated nor doubted in pouring out all her feelings to him as well—to show him how much she loved him. Well, not that it would matter now. But still, it would've been easier for them both.

"Natsume," she whispered, bringing her hands closer to her chest, feeling all the emotions he had poured out in that simple note. It was no doubt she had received it, and she had accepted every bit of it. Her heart beats faster, close to bursting as she recalled all the words he had written for her.

"You called for me?" she heard someone said. She let out a small gasp before proceeding to fix herself. She wiped her tears away with the back of her hands and snapped herself up by slapping her cheeks. Why does he have to come now? Natsume shouldn't see her like this. It would be too embarrassing. She deeply breathed in, before releasing it all out, mentally preparing herself. And when she had thought she was ready, she put on her biggest smile and turned towards him.

But alas! When she turned around and saw his figure, her smile faded. She couldn't help but look away immediately as more tears began to form in her hazel eyes. Nope! She certainly does not want him to see her like this, despite him already seeing it countless of times before.

Natsume stood by the door, staring at her and waiting for her to say something. He had expected for her to whine at him or personally ask him for his camera, with her usual idiotic but cute expression. How surprised was he when after a minute, Mikan still hasn't said anything. He raised his brow, both in curiosity and in worry. It was unusual for her to be quiet. And when she is, it only meant that something happened.

The persistent silence was already eating him up, that he decided to finally ask her. "Did you find the camera in my room? Sir Jinno told me that you texted him about it," Natsume said as he approached Mikan. His hands shoved inside his pockets, "And you better hurry up. Everyone's already waiting for you," he added.

When she was already within his reach, he snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her closer towards him. She gasped upon his sudden touch, and Natsume just smiled. He had always wanted to surprise her every now and then. Somehow, it made him smile realizing that he got her. "Come on, tell me what happened," he said before planting a kiss on her nape. Mikan could feel his breath on her neck. And she couldn't help but cry harder.

Mikan broke from the hug, before coming face-to-face with him. Upon seeing those tears in her eyes, Natsume's smile suddenly turned to a frown.

"Natsume!" Mikan called as she immediately hugged him, not caring anymore of his reactions. Tears continuously cascaded down her reddened cheeks. Natsume hugged her back, not sure of what happened and of what he should do. In a few minutes or so, when Mikan had calmed down, he broke the hug and pushed her a little to see her face.

He tipped her chin with his thumb and index fingers. "What is wrong, love? Tell me," he asked as he stared straight at her, worry now evident in his ranging red orbs. His other hand cupped her cheeks and would occasionally brush her beautiful brunette locks in place or wipe those tears away. Upon the intensity and honesty she felt in his gaze, tears began to form once more and she buried herself on his chest.

"Natsume… I…," she began. Her voice broke in between sobs, "You were never too late. I… I love you, Natsume. I love you so much. I will always be here for you! Of course, I will never leave your side. Never!" she added as she hugged him tighter.

In a few while, she broke the hug and stared at him. Her eyes were all puffy and red. But Mikan showed him, and him alone, her sweetest and most genuine smile despite her messy state. Natsume would've laughed at her there and then. But considering that he still didn't understand what she was saying, he simply stared at her, all the while accepting and feeling happy of what he just heard from her.

"That's a promise, Natsume," she said as she tiptoed and kissed her husband on the lips, which Natsume eagerly responded.

It's a promise.

I hope you enjoyed. Please support my other stories as well: An Oath to Break, Love in the Ice and Seven Wishes. Will be updating them soon enough. Thank you.