&-
Today, she brought flowers. The other days, she didn't bring anything. She just watched the tombstone.
The tombstone, where he so many times had been praying for Stellar and cursed himself for letting the persons he loved go, had no names carved in. It was a memorial and for everyone.
For anyone that had lost someone.
He watched her from a distance as she sat down and touched the stone. She closed her eyes briefly.
…
She's thinking of him. Again.
Or, as she said, she was thinking of her and no one else. Because her sister was the most important person on her planet. End of discussion.
(but he knew better because he knew her and she obviously didn't think that he cared anymore but oh he did)
…
"..eyrin…"
He rested his back against the stone wall. There she went again, starting with the part where she cursed herself for not enjoying every moment she had with her important person. Persons. She had more than just one.
He knew that.
"…I…feel so helpless…" She buried her head in her hands and the hair that nowadays was long fell in front of her face, shielding her from the world around her.
"…T..his time, I didn't even…get the cha…nce to…"
He bowed his head and finished the sentence in his head. She didn't get the chance to say goodbye this time.
This time.
Did that mean that she actually had a chance to say goodbye the last time?
…
…He thought of the times with her and wondered briefly if it was that horrible because he certainly didn't feel that way. He remembered many good things about her and about them and maybe about the future they could've had.
If they weren't so obsessed with not letting go.
...
…
Maybe both of them was pretending. Shinn knew that he could never forget Stellar, and even if he didn't get to know her properly, he knew that she was something that only appeared once in a lifetime and Luna couldn't ever replace that.
But she was a good try.
And he would lie if he told her that he didn't imagine being with Stellar when being with her sometimes. They weren't alike at all. So very different.
But, even if she would never become as important as Stellar was, she was, as he said, a very good try and now that he had his chance he wouldn't let go.
"…Hey."
…
She turned around, ever so slow and he watched how her eyes widened slightly and her lips parted. She obviously didn't believe that he would hide behind her.
"Sh...inn."
He walked to her, and sat down. She was sitting on her knees and had her hands folded in her lap. The purple hair was hanging free, and it created a wall between him and her.
"I…didn't know that you'd be here…" She started, softly and reluctant. He smiled. He too would be surprised if Lunamaria would jump out from behind if he would be thinking of Stellar. Or his family.
"I know it's hard… Luna."
Because if somebody knew the pain she went through right now, it would be him.
She shook her head as he spoke.
"No…no...no" She sobbed. "I can't stop thinking about…the chances I could've taken…"
...
("Lunamaria.")
...
"…the times I could've chosen to be with…"
...
("Lunamaria.")
...
"…him and…I miss it and…Shinn!"
She clenched her head in agony and shook it again. And he could do nothing. Because he knew what she was feeling and it wouldn't help a thing if he would open his mouth.
"I can…hear him…and..!"
She was now crying real tears and they were slowly streaming down her face. He stroke her chin, looked at her with pain in his eyes and whispered her name.
…
She was very quick. She jumped on him and brought her face dangerously close to his. She looked at him with her big eyes and he could feel her breath on his cheek.
"Make him go away…!" She clenched her fists while holding his shirt and she buried her face in the place where his shoulder and neck met.
...
("Lunamaria.")
...
He stroke her back numbly, and he wondered what went through her mind.
...
(She woke up in Rey's arms and just as fast as the bomb had exploded, he disappeared again. Oh, how she wished she could pause and rewind because she wanted to feel like she did when he as a reflex caught her in a hug when the bomb in front of them exploded…)
...
She hulked and said something that didn't come out as words according to Shinns ears.
And she kissed him.
And he kissed back.
Maybe it was due to the fact that he once in a time liked this girl so much that he could actually think of something else than his family. Or maybe it was because when he closed his eyes, he didn't really see her but a faint shadow behind her.
A shadow that he someday would reach.
And maybe she kissed him because the breakdown made her realize that when someone you love suddenly disappears, you can never find someone that is exactly like that person. But you can try. And try. And try.
And this was her first try.
"Shinn…" She said between the kisses and he didn't stop because it wasn't awful but he knew that he technically wasn't there but she wasn't neither so it was okay.
Because he knew that in her mind, he was not there at the moment. Not kissing her, not talking to her, not existing in this moment for her.
Because… In her mind, it was Rey Za Burrel that now was slowly stroking her chin with his right hand, kissing her neck and hugging her tight.
…
(because, like he said, he knew that because he knew her and he definitely knew the situation she were in)
...
A/N.
Um. I was bored and I was thinking about ReyLuna and I wanted to post something? Okay?
Yes. Meyrin died. Just like Shinn's family!
And yes, Rey is dead (happened just like it actually happens, in the last episode if GSD. Whoops, spoiler!). Just like the person Shinn loves (and, this wouldn't even be considered a spoiler. Stellar is dead. Unfortunately)!
And I don't really like ShinnLuna but since Rey is dead there is nothing I can do about it... Sigh.
Ü