A/N: I'm now a senior in college and things have changed since I was last writing Clique fanfiction. I've learned a lot about myself in the past 3 years. I've learned that I have generalized anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. I've learned science isn't my career path, because it made me miserable. I'm more suited to accounting. Most surprisingly, I've learned that I'm not straight. I'm bisexual, and it's an important part of me. I started writing this last summer, a year after same sex marriage was legalized in the U.S. I wrote this because I don't believe there's enough LGBTQIA fanfiction and characters in this fandom. Please enjoy this very OOC story that ignores Clique history.
Disclaimer: I am not Lisi Harrison and do not own the Clique or the characters.
CLAIRE
There are a lot of things that I hate about Westchester. I could name at least ten things off the top of my head: snobby people, competition to seem like you're #1, the judgement, how small the community is and how everyone knows your business. I've lived here my whole life, and I've hated it for most of that time. However, I didn't know how alone this city could make me feel until this past year. Last summer, I went to visit my cousin Alanna and her mom in Portland, Maine. My cousin was only a year younger than me, but I never spent much time at her house in Portland because my parents were uncomfortable with her mom.
My aunt was in a long-term relationship with another woman. She is my dad's sister and her relationship made him act awkward whenever his sister was mentioned. Understandably, my aunt Jennifer didn't exactly jump at the chance to spend time with her low-key homophobic brother. I, however, loved seeing Alanna and Jennifer, so being allowed to spend four weeks with them (after a lot of parental convincing) was a treat.
While I was in Portland, we went to the Portland Pride parade. Being immersed in the LGBTQIA community made things clear for me: I was not straight. I kind of knew it all along, but being around people who are supportive no matter your orientation, cleared things up for me. I definitely liked guys, but also like women beyond just being "friends". Especially my aunt's girlfriend Theresa's daughter, Sam. We spent a lot of time together while I was in Maine, and we ended up making out on more than one occasion.
We still texted when I came back to New York, but neither of us wanted to be in a long-distance relationship. Relationships are already tricky enough without adding that distance. There was also the fact that we were both girls. Her mom was cool with us, but under no circumstance would our relationship be accepted by my parents. I wasn't ready to come out to my parents, and I didn't want to keep my relationship with Sam a secret, so we decided that we would just be friends.
Coming back to Westchester was like a slap in the face. Leaving the supportive environment that was Portland for Heteronormative City, NY was hard. I didn't realize how insidious homophobia was until my return right after same sex marriage was legalized. People were excited that it was legalized, but also believed that was the end of the LGBTQIA "struggle". We were equal now, and had no right to claim we were being harassed or discriminated against. I couldn't even act offended by these comments because I wasn't ready to come out to the world and my parents. I felt so incredibly alone.
And then…suddenly I wasn't.