A/N: Total and complete script format crack. Please enjoy. Formatting error is fixed!
Ezra: Kanan, how come you and Zeb get a triangle on your shirts?
Kanan: I don't know, Ez.
Ezra: Why don't I get one?
Kanan: *under his breath* Maybe because you trusted a Sith, almost got yourself killed, got me blinded, lost Ahsoka forever—
Ezra: What was that, Kanan?
Kanan: …
Kanan: Ask Hera.
Zeb: *runs into the common room looking panicked* Did you guys get your tickets?!
Ezra: For what?
Zeb: *flexes arms* For the GUN SHOW! BANG! POW! SLEEVELESS!
Kanan: Hera, where did you get that new uniform?
Hera: It's from the rebel base.
Kanan: Oh. Was it on sale?
Hera: *confused* No, Kanan, I didn't buy it, I—
Kanan: Because at my place, it would be 100 percent OFF! Bam! *high-fives Zeb*
Hera: *facepalm*
Ezra: Hera, if Kanan gets a beard, why didn't I get a beard?
Hera: *under her breath* Maybe it's because you stole a Tie, didn't tell us you actually kept it, let Sabine repaint it—
Ezra: What was that?
Hera …
Hera: Ask Kanan.
Sabine: Ugh, Ezra, I can't believe you got a whole new look and you still decided to keep all the orange.
Ezra: What's that supposed to mean? I like orange.
Sabine: *facepalms* It clashes with your hair.
Ezra: Hey, Kanan, what happened to your shoulder pad?
Kanan: Well, Ezra, I always keep one shoulder available for Hera to cry on, but she's just been so emotional lately—
Hera: *throws wrench at him*
Kanan: *whispers to Ezra* See what I mean?
Zeb: *sticks his head into the common room* Hey, does anybody have any tape?
Hera: I'm sure I could find some, wh—
Zeb: *throws up arms and flexes* Because these are TOTALLY RIPPED! BANG! POW! SLEEVELESS!
Kanan: Ezra?
Kanan: Ezraaaaaa!
Kanan: EZRA DON'T MAKE ME USE THE FORCE
Ezra: *appears, panicked* what?!
Kanan: *holding up hair tie* I wanted to start your Padawan braid today!
Ezra: *backs away slowly* Uh…
Kanan: *Reaching forward* Ezra? Ezra, where'd you go?
Ezra: *runs to Sabine's room* Help me.
Sabine: You know, Kanan, the marks on your new mask kind of look like the ones on Rex's helmet.
Kanan: *doesn't say anything*
Sabine: Kanan?
Kanan: *continues sitting there silently*
Sabine: Kanan!
Kanan: I'm blind, I can't hear you.
Zeb: Guys, I almost got arrested by Stormtroopers today.
Hera: *worred* Zeb! What hap—
Zeb: Because I didn't have a permit for… THESE GUNS! *flexes* BANG! POW! SLEEVELESS!
Ezra: Wait, so, Kanan gets a beard, and Zeb gets a beard… where's my beard?
Sabine: *snickering* It'll be here in a few years, late bloomer.
Ezra: HERA!
Hera: *runs in panicked* What? What's wrong?
Ezra: What's a late bloomer?
Hera: Ezra, is this about the beards?
Ezra: … Maybe…
Kanan: You know, Hera, that uniform looks really good on you.
Hera: Thank you—
Kanan: You know where it would look even better? On my floor! Bam! *high-fives Zeb*
Ezra: Yeah, just a little trim around the edges, you know, nothing too short—
Sabine: *cutting his hair*
Ezra: *later, looking in mirror* Sweet kriff what has she done
Sabine: What color do you guys think I should dye my hair next?
Hera: I think green might be nice. Don't you think so, Kanan?
Kanan: *nods* I can see it. Oh wait…
Zeb: *walks into room, high-fives him, walks out*
Hera: *glowering*
Kanan: *to Sabine* Is she glowering? Oh yeah, she's totally glowering.
Zeb: Hey, Hera, where do we keep the bandages and gauze?
Hera: In the medkit, why—
Zeb: Because these are TOTALLY CUT! *flexes* BANG! POW! SLEEVELESS!
Kanan: Hey Hera, what are those two blue dots on your sleeve?
Hera: They're actually representative of my rank as a captain—
Kanan: Oh. I thought it meant that I had my eyes on you. Bam! *high-fives Zeb*
Ezra: *staring at Sabine*
Sabine: What?
Ezra: How do you still have hair left?
Kanan: Hey, Hera, those new sleeves of yours are pretty tight…
Hera: What now, Kanan?
Kanan: Maybe you could get some pants or something to match?
Hera: Go away.
Hera: Hey, Zeb, I have a shipment of deadly weapons for you to pick up.
Zeb: I've got your deadly weapons right here. *throws up arms and flexes* BANG! POW! SLEEVELESS!
Hera: Yeah, they're T-7 ion disruptor rifles.
Zeb: Karabast. *runs*
Hera: Hey, Kanan, now that you have a new look, can I have your old tunic?
Kanan: What? Why?
Hera: Because it's so soft and comfortable!
Kanan: Hera, that tunic is the shirt of a warrior! That tunic and I have been through a lot together! That tunic—
Hera: You don't want to give it to me, do you?
Kanan: …It's so soft and comfortable…
Ezra: Sabine, it looks like you dip-dyed an Easter egg and stuck it on your head.
Sabine: Shut up.
Ezra: *reaching towards her hair* Think there's still some egg left in there?
Sabine: *bats his hand away* No touchie.
Ezra: Aw, come on Sabine, it was just a yolk—
Sabine: *rolls her eyes* *punches him*
Zeb: Ezra, I don't like your new haircut.
Ezra: Why not?
Zeb: Because I have to look at more of your face.
Ezra: *pouts*
Kanan: Hera, what would Cham have to say about those tighter sleeves?
Hera: *straight faced* Probably that I'm a huge disappointment and that I've wasted my life away when I could have been helping him liberate Ryloth.
Everyone: *uncomfortable silence*
Hera: I'm kidding. He and I are cool now.
Sabine: DIBS ON EVERYONE'S OLD CLOTHES!
Hera: Why?
Sabine: *glaring* For art.
Kanan: Hera, want to know my favorite thing about your new uniform?
Hera: Not really.
Kanan: It looks like it'll be easier to get off. Bam! *reaches out to high-five Zeb*
Hera: *smacks his hand down* NOT IN FRONT OF THE KIDS!
Ezra: Hey Sabine?
Sabine: Yes, Ezra?
Ezra: *flexing* Did you notice anything… different, about my new uniform?
Sabine: *slowly shaking her head no*
Ezra: *flexing harder* I was just wondering, you know, 'cause the sleeves seem a little tight…
Sabine: *indifferent* They look fine to me.
Ezra: Are you sure? It almost feels like my arms have grown, or something.
Sabine: *ignores him*
Ezra: I mean, I haven't even been lifting that much more lately, so—
Sabine: Ezra.
Ezra: *hopefully* Yeah?
Sabine: Go away.
Sabine: Hey Zeb?
Zeb: What?
Sabine: Since you changed your armor, can I repaint it?
Zeb: *nervous twitching*
Kanan: Hera, why haven't you kissed me since Malachor?
Hera: *stays quiet*
Kanan: Hera I know you're in here I can hear you breathing.
Hera: *holds her breath*
Kanan: Hera!
Hera: *huffs* I kissed you a few weeks ago!
Kanan: But why haven't you since then?
Hera: It's… *mumbles something*
Kanan: What? It's my weird?
Hera: *frustrated* No, it's *mumbles more*
Kanan: My career? That never stopped you before!
Hera: No, it's—
Kanan: I mean, I know there's the whole thing about attachment, but I thought we talked about that—
Hera: *huffs* It's your beard, okay?! It's your itchy, weird, long beard! You look totally different and there's way too much hair on your face!
Kanan: *very quiet*
Hera: Sorry.
Kanan: I mean, I was growing kind of attached to it…
Hera: *facepalming* Kriff.
Kanan: *grinning* But if it doesn't make the cut…
Hera: Stop.
Kanan: Look, I don't want to cause the split end of this relationship—
Hera: Okay you can keep the beard!
Hera: So, Ezra, I need you to buff the window glass of the Ghost—
Zeb: *appears* Did somebody say… BUFF?! *flexes* BANG! POW! SLEEVELESS!
Kanan: Hey Hera, I really like that new uniform—
Hera: FOR THE LOVE OF KRIFF KANAN YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE
Ezra: *snickering*
Kanan: What?
Sabine: *hand covering her mouth, trying to stifle a laugh*
Kanan: What? What is it?
Zeb: *slow chuckling*
Kanan: IF ONE OF YOU DOES NOT TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW I SWEAR I WILL USE JEDI MIND TRICKS ON ALL OF YOU
Ezra: *still giggling* Did you… do your own hair today?
Kanan: Gee, I dunno, Ezra, am I still BLIND?!
Ezra: *uncomfortably silent*
Kanan: *sighs* Hera did it. Why?
Sabine: It looks… very pretty.
Kanan: *reaching around to feel flowers braided into his ponytail* HERA!