Anytime
"I thought I'd find you out here," he said, accidentally bumping her shoulder as he sat down next to her.
"I needed some thinking time, y'know?" she said, looking out at the splashes of red and pink shimmering across the surface of the lake.
"Yeah, I know. And no better time than sunset, hmm?" he answered, wrapping his arms around his knees.
"I just…everything, it's all happening so fast, isn't it? I just need it to slow down, I need time to process it all…I need time to make sure this is what I want."
"Of course it's what you want," he said, leaning his cheek against his forearm and facing her. She still looked straight ahead. "You may not be sure of it now, but I always have been. I've always known."
She laughed, finally turning to look at him. "You did, didn't you. Oh, and I used to get so angry at you, every time you'd tell me I'd change my mind about James one day. How did you know?"
"Not to sound pathetically girlish, but it was the way you two acted around each other. It was as if there was just something more between you," he said, scuffing his trainers against one another and the ground.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, staring at the ground in front of her.
"For what?" he asked, looking at her in curiosity but fairly sure he knew where she was going with it.
"For all the times I insisted I'd only ever love you," she said, a small break in her voice. "I swear I meant it back then, I did…back then James was nothing more than an arrogant prick to me, and you, you were my world…" her voice was unsteady as she spoke, as though she was fighting something inside her. "You're my best friend, Remus, and I do love you…I just…it's just, not the same way I love him."
"You don't have to explain it," he said quietly, his eyes locked on the blades of grass in front of him. "I always knew it would end this way, don't you see? I always knew I never deserved you in my life—"
"No. No, Remus Lupin, don't you dare go thinking that. You deserve everything in the world; don't you understand, Remus? You're the best thing that ever happened to me, and I never deserved one minute of your friendship. And don't for a minute think that just because…just because I'm with James, we won't still be friends. Because you are always going to be my best friend, Remus; every time something happens to me you're going to be the one I want to tell first. Don't you understand what that means?"
"It means you love me," he said, grinning at her as she laughed.
"Yes, yes it does," she smiled, shaking her head in amusement. "Do you think I'm doing the right thing, being with James?"
Both his eyebrows shot up, and he couldn't hide the look of disbelief on his face. "You're…you're joking, right? You've got to be joking, because the entire school knows that you and James are perfect for each other."
"That's what bothers me so much though," she said, wringing her hands. "It's not as if the entire school knows James and I—really knows us—so how can they make such a huge judgment call on us? What if we just seem like we're perfect for each other, but in reality, we couldn't be more wrong for each other?"
"Lily, does he make you feel happy?"
"Well, yeah, of course—"
"Does he make you feel safe, even though everything going on in the world right now should make you feel otherwise?" He pressed on, not giving her time to finish her response.
"Yeah, but—"
"When you're around him, does it make you feel like a better person? Does he make you feel more complete?"
"Yeah, yeah he does," she whispered softly, a beautiful smile on her face. "I'm being stupid, aren't I."
"Yeah, Evans, yeah you are," he said, laughing. "But I'll let it slide this time, because I realize everything is going pretty fast for you."
"I say that, though, and it's not entirely true. If you want to get all technical, this has been going on since Fifth Year," she said, shaking her head again.
"Yeah, but you didn't say yes to him till four months ago," he reasoned, and she smiled.
"And now we're getting ready to leave school, and I've got this feeling that this isn't the end of us...but if we stay together, if we keep going on like this...well, there's really only one option, isn't there?"
"Well, even though I know where you're going with all that, I can't say I entirely agree. Yes, many serious relationships end in marriage, but c'mon Lily, you're only eighteen years old. You've got time, y'know? Time to be together, time to talk together, time to figure out if you really want to spend the rest of your lives together," he said, almost missing her whispered words.
"But I already know I want to..."
"Then there's really no problem, is there. You're just afraid to face your feelings," he said bluntly, and her jaw dropped.
"Remus! You can't just say that!"
"It's the truth, isn't it?" He asked, one eyebrow raised as he looked at her. She was positive he was looking right through her.
"Well…do you know…if he feels the same?" She asked, deliberately avoiding eye contact.
"Oh no, there's no way I'm getting involved in this, you two can work this out all on your own," He said, raising both palms into the air and laughing.
"Prick," she grumbled, before standing up and brushing the grass off her skirt. "I s'pose there's a conversation waiting inside for me then?"
"And a heaping plate of mashed potatoes, if you play your cards right," he said, standing up alongside her.
"Thanks for the talk, Remus."
"Anytime, Lily. Anytime."
A/N: You've taken the time to read this, I hope you'll take another minute to leave a review, and let me know your thoughts/reactions to this. Thanks!