One of Repetition!
'I truly believed I didn't want to doubt
I felt that you were growing farther from me but
It was all a lie from the start we were never close to begin with
Yet I got ahead of myself, how foolish I am
When you said you love me
Was it only a bait to fish me?
Stuffing me into your toy box
Are you going to throw me away when you don't need me anymore?'
"Let's run away together, shall we!" a man with navy blue hair and a pair of emerald eyes said to a blonde girl in front him. His right hand has been waiting for her too long. Now it was still pointing towards and calling her. But the blonde girl didn't reply back. Her head was stooping.
Silence. And ...silence.
"What's wrong?"the navy blue hair man said again.
"Are you okay?Or...you don't want to go with me?"the man asked her. His voice's like a whisper. This time, the blonde girl suddenly spoke but in a sad tone.
"Athrun. I..."a sudden silence.
One memory in me is silent until the end of the world
Snow in the dead of night reminds me of the whiteness I saw someday
I heard a voice, a clear voice
I really do remember its "existence"
Pale colors give me a vague outline
And leave me your word only you said as if you were to vanish
"Good bye"
"You said you love me! And now you are denying it, right Cagalli?"the man asked again. All the questions without answer. He laughed bitterly.
"Athrun!"
"Why, Cagalli? We love each other, aren't we? Or …you don't love me anymore? Or …you has loved somebody else because...I don't exist in this wolrd now, right Cagalli?"his laugh grew wider, mixed with anger, jealousy and pain.
"I...Athrun! He just saved me, Athrun!"
Tears were falling from his beautiful emerald eyes. He laughed in pain. Was the woman he loves has betrayed him?
"Saved? I don't blind Cagalli! I'm not! I saw it very clearly! Very clearly! I saw that man kissed you and you cried in his arms. You two are just so close with each other! And then you left me in the deep cold water! You left me behind because of that man! You has chose him instead of man! Even though you said you love me!"he yelled at her. More tears fell down.
"I'm so sorry! I just..."she said, trying to explain but he cut her.
"Just what? You left me and went to that guy! You let me die in the cold water. How could you be so cruel like that? I gave up everything and went with you. But you just think about yourself. I don't deserve this, Cagalli! How can you do that to me! Even if you…love me!" He walked to her. He held both of her arms, shook her violently. His tears didn't stop. Was it the love people always talking about?
"I'm so sorry!"she cried.
"Sorry for what? When you said you love me. That's a lie, isn't it?"
Snow melts away like a dream
I gather it to color the distant sky
I wish it'd turn into stars so that you can see it
Tell me why the world is this beautiful
The finite moon diminishes
Because the sand clock is broken, words can no longer reach
Keep snowing
Never stop falling to sink every single sorrow memory
Give me chills instead of spring warmth
Let me stay a little longer in the time you were with me
Once more, please
The man couldn't do anything but cry. How could she do this to him? Even though she said she loves him. But she was denying their love. Was she playing dump with him?
"After all, I'm just your toy! You are always nice to me! You said you love me! You hug me and even kiss me! But it's a lie, isn't it! You just want somebody to play with! And now yor are bored of me and try to kick me, right? After finding your next new bait to play, you kick me without pitying, right?" he said as his voice became strong and angry. Even if he saw she has loved somebody, he still loves her.
"Athrun, please, stop!"she cried.
"So now you are not denying that you love that man, eh? Why? We love each other despite our parents's caveat! How can you change quickly like that? I don't want to believe it's a lie! Please say that you love only me! Please, only me!"he hugged her very tight. He was preventing her from leaving again. He looked at her, waited for her to say that she loves him. But everything he got was her silence. The creepy silence.
He suddenly pushed her away. Tears. Stupid tears.
"I understand! You don't love me anymore! I know it! You love him!"
"Athrun! I..."Why now did she speak? Did she feel his pain?
"You don't have to say! I understand! But I don't regret to fall in love with you! If you love him so much, I guess I should leave!" he said, forced himself to smile the last time, trying to hide his serious injure in his heart. He dipped down his head and kissed her on the lips gentlely. He knew even if he tried to hold her, he would lose her again. So then he let her go, turned away, intended to leave.
"I love you, Cagalli! Even if how much you change! I still love you! I wish you would be happy with the man you love! Good-bye!"
With the last farewell, his body slowly became flower petals and scattered with the wind. The last sentence he said before disappear was 'I love ...you'.
I am here
Am I waiting for you?
Unable to go anywhere else...
But I know it
All I can do is preserve memories
Tell me why I'm lonely this much?
"Good bye"
'I love you even if you don't love me anymore, even if you has loved somebody else not me. I couldn't stop loving you! Though how much you change!'
Was this the end?
She didn't know. She couldn't deny that she loves him. But why couldn't she say it in front of him? She loves him, very it's too late. What's left behind now was pain and tears.
'Can you feel my pain? I still love you. But I guess it's end now! You and me! Good-bye! '
She knelt down. Crying hard. She wanted to say she loves him but something has stopped her to say so. That was hurting her heart now. She still loves him. Even if he thought that she has loved somebody else, even if he thought she didn't love him anymore. She loves him deeply.
Everything she could do was stand like a doll and call 'Athrun'. So this was the end, wasn't it?
We -you as an illusion, me as snow - melt away like face to face mirrors
If I had been snow, if I could melt, could we have been as one?
Spring is coming soon, so I gotta go
Because everybody wakes to reality, a dream is merely a dream
Flowers are blooming, I'll send beautiful flowers to you.
"Good bye"
"No, Athrun! Please, don't leave! Please!"a blonde girl yelled while her eyes closed.
"Cagalli! Cagalli, wake up!" a woman voice called the blonde girl.
"Athrun!"the blonde girl just seddenly woke up and hugged the person in front of her.
"Cagalli! What are doing? You are ...making me ...breathless!"a pink hair girl tried her best to talk to her friend.
"Wha..."Cagalli startled and jumped away. She stared at Lacus who was coughing.
"What…..was you …dreaming Cagalli? You almost kill me!"Lacus said. Cagalli was surprised a bit.
"I'm so sorry.I'm just...I..." sighed Cagalli. Lacus looked at her. She was hiding something.
"You look so pale...You was dreaming about ...him...again?"she said to Cagalli, tried to read her mind.
"Yeah! It's a nightmare! Not a dream!"Cagalli spoke quietly.
"It's five months since he die right?"Lacus remembered. Cagalli was silent. That's her fault that she made him die.
"I can't forget about him. Even if now. Everything. Him. I still remember. What should I do now Lacus? I feel so guilty. He loves me. He died because of me but what am I doing? I'm getting married another man."she talked to Lacus. Tears were running down from her cheeks.
"No, it's not your fau…."
"No! It's my fault! Because I'm too selfish!"
Flashback
"You are ...What! What are you saying, Athrun? Are you losing your mind? That's your maid, not your lover. Your fiancee is Ms Meyrin Hawke, not this dirty maid!"Patrick Zala yelled in front of his son. Was his son going to marry this maid. He must be crazy to think so.
"No, father! I love her! And only her! I don't want an arrange marriage! I can give up everything just to be with her!"Athrun yelled back at his father. His hand was holding Cagalli's right hands.
"Athrun! Damn you! I'm your father! What did this maid to you that you fall in love with her? Remember she is your maid! A normal woman!"
"I don't care who she is! I love her because of her kindness! She always comforts me when I'm sad! She make me happy like what mother did to you! Please, father! I want to marry her! Not Meyrin!"Athrun tried to persuade his father but seem like it's not working.
"Never! I'll never let you marry that woman!"
"Father!"
"Go to your bed now! Your fiancee will visit soon and get away from that woman or you'll regret!"His father yelled again. This time Athrun didn't talk something but dragged Cagalli away from his father, out of his father's room.
He mumbled "Never! I just love only her! If I can't marry her, thenI'll die with her!I'm tired of living with you, father!"His grip on Cagalli's was too tight! She was intending to say something but better she should be silent. They were in the garden.
This was the first time she saw Patrick angry like that! He must hate her so much. Because she made his son love her, not Meyrin Hawke. She thought so deeply, she didn't realized that someone was staring at her.
"Cagalli!"
She startled a bit "Eh, ah! Yes!" He chuckled a bit.
He kept his stare at her, stroke her hair by his hand and then kissed her forehead. She looked at him weirdly.
"Cagalli!"he called her.
"Yes, master!"she replied. But he was sad a bit.
"Please, don't call me 'master'! You are making a distance between us!"he said and hugged her.
"I'm so sorry! But why? Why did you choose me, not Ms Hawke?"she hugged her back.
"Because I love you! And only you! I don't want to marry her!"
"But you haven't met her. Who know that you can love her at the first sight, not me!"Cagalli was sad and looked away.
"Actually, I have met her! At the ball two days ago!"
"You mean the red hair girl who asked you for a dance?"She yelled in surprised.
"Yeah!That's her! So...are you jealous?"he teased.
"Hum! Why should I? She is your fiancee after all! This may be stupid if I'm jealous!"
"Really? Too bad I thought you were jealous! You don't really love me, Cagalli!" Athrun said, tried to cry. And cried loudly a bit.
"Hey, why are you crying? I don't say that I don't love you! Please stop! Alright! I admit I love you, ok! Just jealous a bit!"she said worrily if he were crying.
"Gotcha!"he smiled. His plan completely completed.
"What! You! I hate you, Zala!"
"Don't you mean 'love' me?"he smirked.
"HATE!"
"No, LOVE! ...I love you, Cagalli! Only you!"he said as he hugged her again.
"Do you love me, Cagalli?"he asked.
"Of course! I love you but..."he suddenly put a finger on her lips.
"You can stop now! I know you love me! Let's run away together, shall we?"
"Athrun!"
"I know my father will never agree! But I love you! I can't marry another woman beside you! So, are you scared death, Cagalli?I can give up everything just to be with you! But I won't force you if you don't want to go with me!"he said then smiled gentlely.
"No, I'm not! I just want a place that just for you and me!If we truly can be together!"Cagalli said, smiled and held his cheeks by both her palms.
"Then shall we go together? To the place that no one can find!As soon as possible!"
"Sure! Just you and me! Not somebody else!"she said. He was tying his hand with her by a rope that no one could separate them. Then they went to the huge lake of Zala mansion and fell down. They hugged each other happily. Finally, they could be together. They could live happily without worry.
But a hand stopped them. It's a man's hand! He was holding Cagalli's wrist. It's Shinn Asuka.
"You can die alone Zala! But don't take Cagalli away!Never! She is not yours!" he said as tried to drag Cagalli. But Athrun held her wrist firmly, he didn't want to let her go. The rope between them was slowly broken . As Athrun was sinking down in the cold water. His eyes closed. Shinn dragged Cagalli out of the lake and hugged her tightly. He looked at her worrily.
"Cagalli, Are you alright?"slowly she opened her eyes. But the first person she thought about was not him.
"Athrun! Athrun! Where is Athrun?"she woke up, tried to go near the lake and find Athrun but someone has stopped her, he hugged her from behind.
"Athrun!"she yelled.
"Cagalli! STOP! He died! Athrun died!So…forget about him, ok!"
"How can you Shinn? He is your best friend!"she yelled at him angrily and tried to slap him but he stopped her. He pulled her closer to him and kissed her. She tried to against him but he was too strong.
After that, he broke the kiss and looked at her teary eyes. He hugged her. She cried. Even if she tried to do something, her lover would never come back to her. He died. Athrun died. And then what she knew was she was fainted.
End of Flashback
"So after that you are forced to marry Shinn, right?"Lacus asked.
"I guess! I can't against my stepmother!"
"But you don't love Shinn, do you? You can find your true love by yourself!"
"It doesn't matter now! I'll hurt him if I tell him that we should put away this wedding!And I don't love him! I don't want to hurt anyone!"
"But you don't want to have the feeling that you betrayed Athrun right? If you marry the man you don't love, you will be the one who get hurt! "
"Please, stop. I don't want to think about him! Just let the wedding pass, ok!"Cagalli said, looked away.
"But do you really feel happy if you do that? You can tell what you think!It's not selfish! If you are continuing this lie, everyone'll get hurt. Especially, you, Cagalli!"
But suddenly a man came in. Luckily, he hadn't listened their conversation.
"Cagalli!"he smiled. The man had black hair and a pair of rubby eyes.
"Shinn!"Both Lacus and Cagalli yelled.
"You promise to try some wedding dress! You know for our wedding tomorrow!"Shinn said happily, looked at his fiancee.
"Ah, yeah! Sorry, I forgot! Wait me a second!"Cagalli replied then she walked to her bathroom and changed her clothes.
And 5 minutes later. She walked out with a blue dress. Her beautiful blonde hair was tied up. She looked very pretty. Shinn smiled and walked towards her.
"You look very beautiful, Cagalli!"She just smiled weakly.
"Let's go!"Lacus said and looked at Cagalli. Both Shinn and Cagalli nodded.
At the shop.
"This is suitable with you, Cagalli! Or how about this!"Shinn took two wedding dresses and persuaded her to try them, but seem like she didn't want it.
"What's wrong, Cagalli? You don't like them?"Shinn asked.
"I don't like rose very much!"Cagalli said looked at the beautiful dress which was decorated by red roses and ribbons.
"Why?They are beautiful, aren't they?" Because it made her . It reminded her about her painful memories. It reminded her about about the man she loves, who used to kiss her and give her roses. But now he's gone! Far away from where she lives. She could feel the lonely atmosphere around her.
Shinn looked at her weirdly. He didn't do anything but sighed. Couldn't she forget what happened that day and moved on? Was he nothing to her? Lacus just stared at her two friend sadly. This wedding was bringing nothing but hurt. Both him and her.
"Ara! You should try a dress Cagalli! Here!"Lacus gave a wedding dress and pushed her into the changing dress with roses and knots. She walked out in that wedding dress. Her face blushed a bit but it still showed no emotions.
"This dress is actually suitable with you, Cagalli! So I'll buy it, ok?"Shinn said.
"Ok!"she told quietly and walked away. He didn't help but looked at her. Was she happy when she married him?
They walked out of from the shop. Throughout the day, she didn't say anything. No expression.
"Look Cagalli! An arcade!Let's have fun!"Lacus said , dragged Shinn and Cagalli.
"Lacus!"the pink hair girl smiled.
"I guess you are tired. So let's play something"
All of a sudden, a phone rang. It's Shinn's phone.
"Hello? Who is this? …Yeah! I know! I'll go there now!"the line was cut off.
"Sorry, Cagalli!I have to go now!"Shinn apoligized.
"It's ok!If it's important, you should go now!"Cagalli smiled hollowly.
"Very sorry!"With that he's gone. Cagalli sighed, walked and sat on a teeter. Lacus looked at her friend.
"Something's wrong?"Lacus asked.
"No, nothing!"
"You said nothing but it has written on your face already!"sighed Lacus.
"So what will you do now? The wedding soon held tomorrow!You can do something now?"
"Do what?"
"You always smile when 'he' was here! And now, you look like 'dead'!"
"Yes! I should die that time! If I can go with him, I'll not be so pathetic like this!"
"Cagalli!...Don't say that! You know 'he'll' be sad if he know this!"
"So what!He's gone! Far away from here!Let me be lonely in here! Maybe he is having fun with another girl!"Cagalli smirked. A cut in her heart grew deeper.
"He'll never do that!He loves you!"Lacus shook Cagalli.
" Love? Is it still existing now?Or it's already gone with him? When I was young, I read a story which was like this! A master and a maid in a rich family loved each other! They died together. But the girl was saved by a man. That time, she loved him and forget about her lover who was sinking down in the deep cold water. And then the wedding between the girl and that man was married that guy and lived with him happily. Meanwhile, the girl's lover was still searching for her, calling her back. He found her next life and saw that she has loved somebody else. He just smiled at her, then he became bubbles on the water… ….…Was that love that the girl told him? I feel like I'm that girl!"
"No!You are not the girl is that story, Cagalli! You are a real girl! You can decide your happy by yourself!"
"Is it improtant now? And what I am doing now just isn't like that girl?"Cagalli !
"No! You are not! You don't love Shinn! You still love 'him'!You can talk to him!It's not too late! Don't let yourself regret, Cagalli! I know you don't want people to get hurt but …..is this what you want?"
"I….I don't know….!I feel so confuse!"
"Just think, Cagalli!Think about what you want!That can't call selfish! Because you have accessibility to find your love that no one can decide for you! I guess you still need time!Let's go home and rest!"
Happy? Was it still meaningful now? Her lover died! She killed him! Now she was moving on by marrying the man who saved her. Was she happy now?
She could hear that sound!Someone was calling her name! Call her to come with him!Her heart was aching! She was breathless! She looked like dead now!Was it meaningless?Love!
The wedding's day!
"Cagalli!It's time to wake up now!Cagalli"Someone was knocking Cagalli's door.
"Cagalli!"A woman with brown hair girl came in. An Empty woman was fear!Was she kidnapped.
"What's wrong?"A pink hair girl came in.
"Cagalli...she...disappear...!"
"What!"Lacus screamed. Her friend disappeared in one night.
"I don't see the wedding dress!Maybe she is wearing it!"They looked at the table and saw a letter!From Cagalli.
"Where is Cagalli now? We have to hurry up!" a man voice spoke.
"Shinn!"
"What's up? Where is Cagalli?"he asked.
"Cagalli!She's… gone!"Shiho said, looked away.
"What!What did you say?"he couldn't believe. Was she already gone? He read the letter which Shiho gave him. He didn't anything but surprised. She was already with 'him'.
"Shinn!"Lacus called. "Do you need to find her?"
He startled a bit, but smiled. "It's ok!We don't need to find her!"
"Shinn!"
"Obviously, I'm not the man she loves! I shouldn't force her to marry me!"
"Shinn!It's alright! When you love somebody, you should let them go, to the person they love! Don't worry!I'm sure I can find my true love someday!"he letter lied on the ground.
'I'm so sorry, Shinn!The truth is I still love 'him', though time is passing! Sorry, I can't marry you! My mission now is listen to my heart and find him!I have decided my will!And I hope you can find your true love too! Good-bye!
Cagalli!'
"Can you hear me? I still love you! Even if you thought that I have loved somebody not you! Even if you thought that I don't love you anymore! I still love you! Don't worry!I'll find you thought it's one year or ten years even forever, I'll find you!I swear! Wait! Just wait for me, love!"
In Zala masion's garden!
A girl was running to go near the lake where she and her lover vowed.
"Finally, I can find you!I'll never leave you, again!" the blonde girl who was wearing a wedding dress talked to herself.
"Hey, you girl!What are you doing?" A woman yelled. The little blonde jumped into the lake and drown down in the deep water. The old woman tried to save the blonde girl but weirdly, she couldn't go near the lake.
In the deep water, she could see a beautiful light.
"Cagalli!"the blonde girl heard someone was calling her loving her.
"Who's there?"the little blonde girl slowly opened her eyes.
"It's me!"
"Who?"
"Me!"
"I don't know someone 'me'!"she whispered.
"It's Athrun!"
"Athrun!Really?"the blonde opened her eyes widely. A man in front of her. He has navy blue hair and a pair of beautiful emerald she dreaming? He was here! Holding her in his arms.
"Bite me!"she ordered.
"Bite what?"he asked, confused.
"Am I dreaming?"she asked but the man went near to her and…..bit her on the cheeks.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"she yelled.
"What was that for?"she .
"You said 'bite me'!"he chuckled.
"But that's hurt!"her puppy teary eyes. So cute.
"Next time, I'll bite you….on the lips!"
"Wha…..!"
"And what are you doing here? I thought you was going to marry Shinn!"he said in ironic tone.
"I guess! But I 'kick' away this morning!"she smirked evilly.
"You did what? What about Shinn? What did he react?"he asked sadly.
"I don't know! I left before he read the letter! But I'm sure he'll find his true love!"she smiled.
"How could you know?"he teased her, draw her closer to him.
"Hum, I know everything!"she put her fingers on her chin.
"And …..do you know this?"she was confused as he dipped down his head and kissed her on the lips. First, she was surprised, then she closed her eyes and kissed him back passionately.
1 , 2 , 3 , 3.5 , 4, 4.9 , 5 minutes, they broke the kiss. She smiled.
"So what with this dress , Cagalli! I thought you wore this to marry Shinn!"he looked at her from head to toe. Absolutely, she looked so beautiful. But he was very hurt when he knew she was going to marry Shinn.
"Hum! I guess you was the first man see me in this stupid wedding dress!"She was right. She was wearing the dress which was blue and cherry blossom flowers every where. Different from the dress she wore yesterday.
"So should I be so happy? I prefer you on maid uniform! Because you look very hot and sexy on it!"smirked Athrun.
"Hey!You, perv! Has someone brushed your brain? Yeah!Yeah!You are handsome! And I'm ugly! Go and find someone else!"she intended to walked away but he stopped her. He hugged her tightly.
"Yeah!Someone has brushed my brain! And it's definitely you! Do you know that I was very crazy when I saw Shinn kissed you and wanted to marry you!I thought I would lost you forever! I thought you would leave me forever! I was very scared!"he hugged her, never wanted to let her go.
"I'm so sorry! But i don't love him!And he kissed me, I disn't kiss him!It's different!The man I only love is you! ONLY you!"she smiled and kissed him quickly on the lips.
"I know but I'm still scared!"
"Don't worry! I come here and wear this stupid wedding dress so as to marry you!"she grumbled.
"Really? I'm happy that you said so!So can we go or Kira will kill me if he knows that I take you with me!"
"I don't know what will happen if they know I'm dead!With you!"Cagalli sighed.
"Dead? Who said we were dead? It can't be call dead Cagalli! At the nd we are together! No one can separate us, even my father!Do you regret to love me, Cagalli?"
She smiled "No, I never regret about this!I love you, Athrun! So then what will you call that where we can live together?"
"Hum!Maybe …heaven….yeah…where we can live happy together!"
"So, let's go!We can hold our wedding there!"
"Yeah, we can send letter for Kira and Lacus!"
"Are you crazy, Athrun?"she raised her eyesbrows.
"Maybe, let's go!"then he dragged her with him. As he kissed her passionately again!
"Finally, I can find you!We will never be apart again! Let's live happily together!"
I want you to embrace me closely and gauge my limit.
Please make me believe that this is not a sin.
I want you to kiss me and repaint my body.
I want to be intoxicated and drowned in your charm.
Draw me closer, as if we are two magnets,
that even if we separate, we will reunite again.
Let's become one; it's okay not to able to turn back.
That's fine, for you're my one and only love.
The end!
A/N: Hi!It's me!Bara no Jubai or Bara no Chikai or Hyousa, still me!:p
Umh, this my first one shot and I don't know how you feel about it! Hehe! This is my crazy idea when I read a manga and it's not a happy ending!So sad!I hope I didn't steal the author's idea of that manga!
-_-"
Weird, eh?Yeah, I know! So I hope you'll enjoy it!
Read and review, please!XD
Thanks for people who always surport me! Ice Chain and Enemy's love will be updated soon!:D
Thanks!
Disclaimer: I don't own GS/GSD and songs...!
The song: One of Repetition – Hatsune Miku
Winter Alice – Hatsune Miku
Magnet – Miku & Luka!
Love them!XD