Disclaimer: Shadow Slayer II doesn't own Star Wars in anyway.
Here is Star Wars: The Phantom Banana. Enjoy, and have fun!
You people know Star Wars as George Lucas tells it. However, there is an untold side to the whole story. This is the true story, the unedited version. You see, it all started with the evil banana. . .
The Trade Federation was minding its own business, trading and everything, doing things all Federations do. One day, Nute Gunray decided to take a little trip to Naboo, for a little relaxation. He was just walking near the palace of Theed, when he stepped on a banana peel. He slipped, and bonked his head on the hard pavement! As he got up, he heard a conversation between Queen Amidala and one of her hand maidens.
"Did you take care of that banana peel?" Amidala asked.
"Of course Your Highness. It's been taken care of", the hand maiden replied tartly.
"Thank you, Pane", the young queen replied, unaware of the events that were about to unfold.
Nute Gunray, hearing that little conversation, was instantly enraged. How dare that little queen order to throw the banana peel at him and making him slip! Oh it's on! Gunray thought angrily.
BANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANAN
Darth Sidious felt a disturbance in the Force. He felt the dark side rise and decided it was time to act. He called Nute Gunray on his comm.
"Who are you, and how dare you intrude the High and Mighty Nute Gunray, Head of the Trade Federation?!" Gunray demanded.
"I have a deal for you, Gunray", Sidious replied in a silky face. "I believe that something has happened to you?"
"How did you know that?" Gunray demanded. "How did you know that I just slipped on a banana peel?"
A banana peel, hmm? Interesting. . . I will have to make a note of it later, Sidious thought.
"Nothing escapes the Dark Lord of the Sith", Sidious replied. "I assume that you will want revenge?"
"Of course! I want to teach that arrogant Queen a lesson!"
"Why don't you try a blockade?" Sidious suggested.
"What a grand idea!" Gunray replied cheerfully as he set the blockade into motion.
Meanwhile…
Master Yoda sat meditating on his chair as he too felt a disturbance in the Force. A tiny event has upset the delicate balance of the Force. This disturbance will affect lots of things. Lots of things indeed…
On Earth (in the future):
George Lucas sat in his chair, contemplating on what he should make on a movie. It was then he had a brilliant idea to make a series of film about space battles, Jedi, the Force and lots of other things.
"I will name this Star Wars: A New Hope!" He decided as he sat up. He somehow felt as if he is missing something. Something about a banana… He shook his head. That was nonsense. What does a banana have to do with the film?
Little did he know, the film he is about to make is the true story that happened a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…
Back to the story:
The Trade Federation has blockade the planet Naboo. As Nute Gunray sat relaxed in his chair, he thought this was all a huge success. He was terribly wrong…
Queen Amidala sat on her throne, thinking. She stood up, announcing to the Royal Council:
"I will not sit by and let the Trade Federation have its ways. I will call Coruscant and have they send negotiators to negotiate with the Trade Federation!" At that, she stood up and called Coruscant.
A day later, a pair of Jedi, Master and Apprentice departed from Coruscant…
As they arrived at the Trade Federation Flag Ship, a droid called TC-13 led them in.
Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi made themselves comfortable, but still stayed highly alert.
"I feel a disturbance in the Force, Master", Obi-Wan said quietly. "What is weird though, is that as if a banana peel caused all this." Puzzled, Obi-Wan looked to his master for advice.
"I feel the same thing, Obi-Wan. Be mindful of the living Force. Sometimes, something as insignificant as a banana peel can cause huge things, such as start a war with clones fighting on one side and battle droids on the other", Qui-Gon replied.
"Clones? Battle droids? It seems that age has gotten to your head, my master", Obi-Wan joked.
"Who knows, Obi-Wan? Who knows?"
As they were talking, a banana peel (the same one Nute Gunray tripped over) got clogged up in the poison gas valve. The gas leaked out toward Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi.
As you all know, the Trade Federation released the gas with hopes to kill the pair of Jedi, but that was not so. The banana peel caused the poison gas release. And as it got blown out of the valve because of the high pressure, it bounced on the "Attack" button of the battle droids.
Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon saw the poison gas and the battle droids. They naturally thought that it was the Trade Federation's plot to avoid negotiation and to assassinate the negotiators. But they were wrong.
In fact, right this second, Nute Gunray was preparing to negotiate with the Jedi.
"I have a great feeling about this!" Nute Gunray said to his advisor.
Back to the Jedi: Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon easily disposed of the battle droids and proceeded to find Nute Gunray to arrest him. As they went to main room, Nute Gunray was hearing about the gas valve malfunction and the droid attack. Afraid the Jedi were going to arrest him, he told his crew to close the doors. But as Qui-Gon prepared to cut the doors open with his lightsaber, he had no choice but to call out the newly developed droidekas.
"Master!" Obi-Wan called out. "Destroyers! And they appear to be equipped with shield generators!" He added as the blaster bolts he deflected get absorbed or bounced away.
"Run!" Qui-Gon called out as they ran. They hid in the air-vents to evade the patrolling battle droids.
"What have I done!" Nute Gunray cried. He asked Darth Sidious for advice. Darth Sidious told him to land his battle droids and to invade Naboo. Left with no choice, Gunray did as he was told.
As he got ready to deploy the droids, little did he know that two Jedi has hidden among the arrays of battle droids, prepared to land on Naboo…
Author's Notes: I watched Star Wars: The Clone Wars. It was a great movie. Ahsoka was totally great. I can't wait for the show to come out!