If there truly is a God, then by his grace may he answer my prayer.
I have never asked for anything from him before, for I have never needed anything. I was raised from childhood to believe that he has enough love to wrap around the earth a countless number of times, and that he truly cares about everyone. However, I do not think that his love extends far enough to reach me.
I have been taught that God is our protector; that he is always there for everyone in any, and every situation. I say now, however, that if he is there for everyone, then where the hell has he been for me?
I have been beaten since birth. I have always been ignored by those who may be helpful, and yet those who do see me do their very best to bring me down. I have always been second best compared to my brother. If he was hurt in any way, there would be a swarm of people, including me, surrounding him to lend a hand. Yet nobody ever seemed to give a damn if I was beaten and bruised, or even bat an eye if I keeled over from pain.
After thousands of years of existence, I had grown somewhat used to being ignored. I could not lie, however, and say that it did not hurt sometimes. I have merely hid this fact from others with an angry scowl, so they would not know any weakness I may have. Nobody really cared too much to find out a weakness of mine anyway, they were too busy being occupied with my brother.
He always got the attention...
I have always been jealous of my brother for many reasons, I am humble enough to admit that. However, I think that my jealousy of the great amount of love he recieves is what causes my grumpy attitude towards him and everyone else. I love my brother with all of my heart, but I would never not be jealous of him. Perhaps it was my fate; perhaps it was what was destined for me from my birth. For me to always be second best in everyone's eyes.
All of this was true for everyone who knew me. None of them showed me any compassion, or even acknowledged me as someone other than a previous Mafia leader. The only reason I had ever been in the mafia to begin with was to gain their attention, hoping that they might notice me. However, all it did was make them hate me, not to mention it probably ruined my country forever. Everyone hated me for it, and for any other reason they could think of.
Everyone except Antonio.
Antonio was the only one who defied everything I have previously said.
When we first met, he seemed just as every one else. However, after a while I noticed he showed patience at its greatest. Though at first he could become annoyed with me, he never snapped or yelled back at me if I yelled something rude at him. He was always kind to me even when I was a complete jackass, and that was probably what started my appreciation towards him.
It took a few centuries, but after a while he became much more than my boss. He was the only person who was kind to me, and showed true genuine love towards me. He is the reason I am still alive today. He is the reason that Arthur Kirkland failed to hit me with that bullet. He is the reason I feel so terrible now, because I am the reason he is lying in this hospital bed.
That is why I pray now.
God, if you truly are there, then please...please listen to me for once.
I have never been an angel, and I have done terrible things...terrible, unmentionable things. I have confessed my sins, and I am confessing some now. Perhaps by doing this I may be worthy enough to ask you a simple question, and have it be answered.
God, if there is any chance for me to go to heaven when I die, any slim chance at all...please...give that chance to Antonio. Take my chance to live in heaven, and give Antonio enough life to make it through this. I will live in Hell if you only let him live. If that is not enough, then I will personally kill myself to replace his death.
Please God, don't let him die. If you are truly the same compassionate God that I was raised to believe in, then please show me love, even if only this once. Do me one favor, just this once...and please, I beg of you, do not let Antonio die.
He is all I have, and if I lose him...I may as well be dead anyway. I truly do not have anyone besides him... My brother may have good intentions, but that comes only from his kind nature. Antonio is the only person who truly cares about me, and I have come to believe that he will be the only one to EVER care about me. So please God...if you truly are there, and if you truly do care about me, even if only the slightest bit, please do not take him away from me.
Please...
"...Lovi?"
"Toni..."
Thank you, God.
Fail ending is fail. :3 Hey, I wrote this on my iPod during my mom's choir practice...cut me some slack. ;)