"So we have a game where Ace, Komaeda, Lotus, and the Zero voice trying to escape from a burning building of a weird company and their lives are in the hands of Hagakure. Well this looks like its going to be fun. "
-AnonEars, Youtube Commentor
It was just another ordinary day for Hagakure to deliver a variety of things. Nagito Today though, is by far the weirdest one, even weirder than the whole 'an alien stole my burger!' incident. He was supposed to deliver some nuts, perfume, and pencils to an organization called 'Crash Keys'. He just shrugged it off. He found odd names now and then like the 'Future Foundation' or 'Monokuma Theatre Troupe'.
Today however, he predicted something really fucked up about to happen. Again, he shrugged it off because he knew that his predictions work 20% of the time.
Anyways, he arrived at the tall, mysterious building which seems to be the headquarters of the 'Crash Keys'. He brought the cargo to the underground parking lot, where nothing of note happened. But that's when he realized a chill in his back, and the security room opened.
"Whoa, creepy dude." Hagakure muttered. He went over to the office since he trusted his instinct. What was in there made his heart raced faster than a dude on a motorcycle riding in a metal sphere. Two corpses wearing the same uniform lie there.
"Wh...wha... WHAAAATTTTT?" Hagakure screamed out loud. A static noise cut through his screams. It seemed that it came from a device in the room. Is this a communication device?
On the device it said on the top "WARNING: FIRE HAZARD ENCOUNTERED". Below it, it flashed the words "LOG IN". Hagakure was shaking so hard it was like an earthquake in the room. What is happening right now? What if he was accused of being an arsonist? What if he is accused of murder... again? Hagakure lightly tapped onto the log in button.
Visitor has logged into the communication system.
Ace has logged into the communication system.
Nagito has logged into the communication system.
Godot has logged into the communication system.
Asahina has logged into the communication system.
Fire Hazard encountered on the 3rd Floor
Godot: What the hell happened? It's supposed to be my Coffee Break right now.
Asahina: Uhh, obviously a fire is happening on this floor right now. Nagito, you okay there?
Nagito: Never better! A disaster where all the odds are against us! I shall prove that this overwhelming despair shall never prevail from my Hope Bagels!
Asahina: Oh right, most of the people who work here is crazy.
Visitor: WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW? BAGELS? COFFEE? YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE IF YOU DON'T GET OUT OF THERE!
Ace: No need to fear! As long as we follow our fire procedure, we WILL escape here unharmed!
Nagito: Hey, Ace is here!
Godot: Interesting. So the big boss himself is here at our lowly floor, huh?
Ace: Ahaha, I'm always here at least once a day to check up on something... and to do my daily appreciation of brilliance.
Asahina: Well, that's great and all, but how are we supposed to get out of here?
Fire detected at Third Floor. One casualty unavoidable. Candidates: Nagito or Asahina
Asahina: Wait, WHAT?!
Ace: Hey Visitor! You're in the security office, am I correct? You can save one of them! But only ONE of them!
Visitor: Wh...whh...wha...WHAT?! HEY! IT'S NOT UP TO ME TO DECIDE WHO GETS TO LIVE OR DIE
Godot: I feel like our visitor is supposed to be an idiot and he just said a pretty cool line. You have my respect visitor.
Visitor: Hey! What do you mean by that?
Asahina: There's no time! Visitor save one of us!
Nagito: Haha! Save Asahina. I know with my Ultimate Bullshit, I will get through this!
Visitor: Hey! What's that supposed to mean?
Ace: Visitor do something!
Chat is temporarily suspended due to CODE: RED emergency. Please input on who to save.
'Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit..." Hagakure muttered. Should he save Asahina? Well, Nagito said he can get through this. And Hagakure was gullible as hell, so he did save Asahina.
Nagito dropped out. Reason: Device burned to butter
Chat will go online momentarily. This chat is brought to you by 'Moshirige's Running Shoes' NGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Asahina: I... thank you so much visitor... I don't have to die! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Godot: Hmmmm, so you save the girl instead of batshit crazy Bagel guy, huh? Truth is, nobody really likes him that much.
Ace: Has anyone found the stairs to the second floor?
Asahina: Yes... I found the stairs here...
Godot: It seems like we're in the second floor now.
Ace: Now that we're safe from the fire, remember to get back to work! Also don't forget your 'Daily Homage to Ace' where we talk about your favourite things about ME.
Visitor: Wow, that's kinda a dick move. One of them almost died, you know?
Ace: True, true, but, I don't really give a shit because I'm Ace!
Asahina: ...
Godot: ...
Visitor: ...
Fire detected at Second Floor. One casualty unavoidable. Candidates: Nagito or Ace
Ace:WHAT? NAGITO?
Nagito has logged into the communication system.
Nagito: Oh, Ace, do you think a little fire can burn me to my death? Hope and bullshit always prevails over anything!
Ace: But... you disconnected! How did you escape?
Nagito: Oh, that's easy! I simply used my fire-proof bagels and my 'Anti-Fire suit' that's made out of Monokuma fur?
Ace: Mono... what? Nevermind! Since Nagito can survive again, please spare me!
Chat is temporarily suspended due to CODE: RED emergency. Please input on who to save.
Should Hagakure really save Ace? Nagito can live again due to whatever unforseen circumstances that even the fabulous Hagakure can not predict! But then again, Ace is a douchenozzle.
Ace dropped out. Reason: Device burned as if he was in an incenerator *COUGH*
Chat will go online momentarily. This chat is brought to you by ''Blue Flare Cloning Inc." Our goal is to fulfil all the colours of the rainbow, with FLARE!
Asahina: DID YOU JUST REALLY KILL OUR BOSS?
Godot: Calm down there, little kitten. Nobody really liked Ace anyways. Poor, old man was just stuck in a delusion that he actually had pride.
Nagito:Ouch. I may have died a painful death once, but it's nothing compared to that.
Visitor: Huh? Nagito, what are you talking about?
System has now changed user 'Nagito' to 'H0P3 B4G3L'
Visitor: Nagito? Wh... what's going on?
H0P3 B4G3L: What? I just changed my username.
Visitor: No, no, no, I mean, what about dying a painful death?
Asahina: Yeah, I kinda saw it as Nagito ran out of bagels.
Godot: I agree. Nagito running out of bagels, is just like me running out of coffee.
H0P3 B4G3L: Ooooohh, I was actually talking about that one time where I stab myself in the thighs, arms, and on my hand! Then I stabbed myself with a spear afterwards. But get this, I actually died to poison! And that poison is the most painful, because... I sense waffles in it...
Asahina: ...
Godot: ...
Visitor: ...
H0P3 B4G3L: ...What?
June has logged into the communication system.
Godot: Whoah, what the... and who are you?
June: My name is June, and I am the owner of Crash Keys.
H0P3 B4G3L: Uh, I thought Ace was our boss?
June: He's just a coverup. Nobody really likes him anyways. Plus, he's dead, you need a new boss.
Visitor: That's great and all, but WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED? NAGITO WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY YOU POISONING YOURSELF TO DEATH?
June: I shall explain. You see, time travelling is real. Nagito is a time traveller, also called an 'esper'. The end... Hey, actually, you're an esper too Hagakure.
Visitor: Wait, how... how did you know my name?
June: I know evvvveeerrryyyyyythinggggggg
Asahina: Oh really? Then what's the answer to this question? When is NicoB playing Mogeko Castle?
June: Never.
Asahina: ...all hope is lost...
H0P3 B4G3L: NOOO ASAHINA! DON'T GIVE IN TO DESPAIR!
Godot: While those two trites talk, prove yourself to me! Answer me this! What is my favourite coffee brand?
June: (Starbucks) Folgers
Godot: Heh, I see you are the real deal.
June: Are there anymore questions to ask because I still have to find Junpei.
Visitor: One last quest-
June: TOO LATE GOTTA FIND JUMPY I FEEL HORNY
June dropped out. Reason: Never existed due to a sudoku puzzle
Visitor: I... I literally... can't...
That's when it struck Hagakure. He may be a loser, but this is just too stupid. He sighed, ignored the corpses in the room he is in, and drove of into the distance on a child's bicycle.