Setting: This fic takes place post North Korea but BEFORE Vaughn and Syd discover Lauren's general traitor evilness.
Okay this will involve an extremely demanding under cover mission that will drive Syd and Vaughn to the edge and push them to some dark and dare I say it masochistic places. This will be gritty angsty fluff and will vary from PG-13, to R and if I'm feeling daring as to how dark I'm going to make it, NC-17.
Just stick with me...
Nostalgia's Triangle
Chapter 1
Eric put down the phone and groaned loudly, his eyes momentarily scrunching in embarrassment, disbelief and amusement. As his desk was next to Syd's and facing Vaughn's, both looked up from their respective activities curious to see what was causing him so much aggravation. He started laughing quietly, his tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek as he shook his head slightly
"That was my mom," he explained noticing at their bemused expressions, "She just told me my sister finally named the baby an-"
"What? When did Rachel get pregnant?" Vaughn interrupted a hint of gentle excitement in his voice. Eric clicked his tongue, melodramatically rolling his eyes and finally resting them on Syd in order to her to explain
"Not Rachel- Cassie, Vaughn " she gently corrected with a reassuring smile
"Oh," he said nodding gently in affirmation and understanding "Sorry" he added softly
"Na doesn't matter." Eric assured him with a flick of his hand "You've been busy with nearly dying and stuff" Vaughn smiled, "Twice" Eric added in good humour.
"So what did she call the baby?" Sydney asked impatiently, enthusiasm present in her words. Vaughn smiled; they'd only spoken once or twice about children in their almost non-existent time together- nothing in particular, just in general terms. Even though she never said it or mentioned specifics, Vaughn knew she wanted children of her own one-day. He was pretty sure he knew how many she desired and even felt confident enough as to take a guess as to what she'd name them. He wet his bottom lip casually with the tip of his tongue, his eyes focused on the vacant grey of his desk as the conversation continued. Just being with around her and talking was something he missed greatly. As well as being very much in love with each other, they had been best friends, that is best friends who laughed frequently, flirted outrageously and had amazing sex, he added with a small smile. He'd also been away from Eric way too long he mused never realising what the absence of a best friend, beer and pizza could do to a lonely man in his thirties.
"You sure you're ready for this?" Eric queried, enjoying prolonging his reveal
"I mean its bad. Really bad. Like Kendall looking at my Internet history bad" Eric said making his words annoyingly strained and drawn out much to the dismay of his two best friends.
"Eric come on!" squealed Sydney
"Yer seriously man, get on with it" Vaughn smiled happily, rejoining the conversation with ease "It can hardly be as bad as your name" he teased
"Yeah dude ok, so my name sucks? What kind of name is 'Michael'?" he quipped back, a less than reputable French accent colouring his friends name "My name means 'ruler of all'"
"Sure and I'm Miss United States" Vaughn quipped
"No it's true," Sydney smiled, "We looked it up on this site"
"Yeah so shut up. No, in fact bow down and worship my greatness" Eric joked, pointing to the floor
"Eric what's baby's name?" Sydney laughed, curiosity tingeing her words
"Rufus Rex Bartholomew Jackson-Porter" Eric said rolling the 'r' with great relish and precision. Vaughn snorted loudly while Sydney made one of those broody noises she usually hated for their superficial qualities. A laugh quickly bubbled from her throat, its femininity and grace lighting up the worlds of both men beside her.
"My poor, poor nephew." Eric sighed "He's going to get the crap kicked out of him at school," Eric continued, "She should have just called him Moonbeam and got if over and done with." He chuckled with them "Seriously."
"That's really not that bad" Syd compromised "Its just a little..."
"Bohemian?" offered Vaughn
"Freakish?" deadpanned Eric
"Unusual" she finished for clarification
"Yeah well that's Cassie for you" Eric scoffed "What names would you chose then?" he asked curiously. The pair slipped into comfortable silence, their eyes displaying a pensive layer of treasured wonder as they bit their bottom lips in consideration. He immediately regretted bringing up the issue of children with their strained relationship, but quickly recalled the change in their demeanours since their return from Since North Korea. Weiss had been unable to coax what had happened out of either of them but remained quiet for now enjoying the new level of comfort in the atmosphere. As the silence grew louder he felt a more morose tone envelop them and became nostalgic for the laughter from moments ago. They had almost been like they were two years ago, the way they shared mindless banter or constructed some pointless bet specifically designed for him to lose on the verge of returning. The almost saddened musings of a girl with a broken heart shattered Eric's reflective expression as Sydney struggled to offer a name
"I...um..."
"Grace" Vaughn interjected kindly. She smiled. That was the perfect name; she inwardly blushed at the way he still managed to read her, judging her personality and tastes perfectly.
"Yes. Grace. Such a beautiful name"
"What about for a boy?" Eric asked patiently, watching the exchange with interest
"Ben..."
"...Or Alex" Vaughn finished
"I always liked Sofia for a girl too" Syd reflected
"With a 'ph' or an 'f'?"
"An 'f'" they said together. They smiled an each other sadly. Even though he never said it, Sydney knew Vaughn wanted children- a large family with girls to spoil and boys to coach in the skills of skating. She wondered if Lauren and he had ever considered children, or if indeed they were trying, but pushed the thoughts aside as a sharp pain split through her spirit and her coco coloured eyes stubbornly began to shine with sadness. She'd missed this. Discussion was one of Vaughn's many virtues, and she had adored the way he able to talk about nothing with her yet make it feel like something. Granted, the subject of children could hardly be classed as 'nothing', but just being with him was a pass-time she missed more than any other.
Eric, upon seeing this silent struggle of emotions between the two had begun to back away leaving them to talk and relax in each other's presence for a little while longer. He felt tremendous guilt for the thousand 'what ifs' crackling and burning between them, but was shaken from his remorse when he bumped into Lauren.
"Oh. Sorry Agent Weiss" she said with a rather clipped tone. The sound of her voice jolted the pair out of their silent and separate reveries; Vaughn now shuffled nervously, not seeing Sydney's attempt to get her eyes to focus on anywhere but the woman before them. Their smiles were now gone, their usual pained expressions returned to them. Eric silently cursed the woman beside him.
"Hello sweetheart" she said saccharinely as she kissed Vaughn on the cheek. He closed his eyes momentarily at the grief her felt over such a tender transaction taking place in front of Syd. He felt resentment grow towards his wife for her blatant lack of compassion and came to the realisation the moment had been smashed into pieces by her rather shrill greeting while Syd's heart had begun to feel heavier, the mending cracks splitting further as she locked eyes with Weiss, refusing to observe the kiss between her ex-lover and his wife. She closed her eyes momentarily as she remembered his hushed words and their gentle and tender promises, the feeling of his lips gently brushing hers imprinting itself forcefully on her memory. She turned and sat in her chair allowing the monotonous typing to restart, her fingers producing small clicks from the plastic beneath their tips. Eric and Vaughn had also sat down, the two of them matching Sydney's expression and becoming drone-like and slightly unanimated as Lauren continued.
"So what was all that laughing I heard about then?" she chimed. There was a hint of jealousy in her voice that went unnoticed only by Sydney. Looking from Vaughn to Eric, and finally to Syd she pressed her lips together in a smile as she waited their response. 'So that's why you came over' Eric thought 'You was jealous' he shook his head slightly in disbelief that his best friend's wife could be so petty. Vaughn had also noticed the envy in Lauren's voice and pursed his lips slightly before looking up at her with his own discreetly forced smile. Anger itched at him as he considered the lack of trust she had in him when around Syd. This subsided however and was swiftly replaced with guilt as he recalled the treasured stolen kisses and unspoken declarations between him and the woman opposite him. Lauren had a right not to trust him. The curve of his small smile never faltering and his eyes never breaking contact with Lauren's Vaughn explained
"Oh uh...we were just discussing baby names" he turned his head to his companions "right?"
"Mmhmm"
"Yep" both affirmed not even looking up from their screens. Their actions were not cold, but they were saddened by the nostalgic moment ending so prematurely, a melancholy air sighing over the trio.
"Well, I hope you're not getting any ideas Michael" she joked squeezing his forearm with a cool hand. He and Syd both faltered slightly at the use of his first name but refused to reveal it; it wasn't as if he didn't like his name of course, he just always wanted to be Vaughn. He nodded half-heartedly at her question seeing the shocked expression on Syd's face without having to look. Lauren believed he didn't want children, but rather gravely, she had been misinformed; he wanted at least three, perhaps even four. Vaughn had grown up an only child and revelled in the memory of the loneliness he had experienced as a boy. He never had any sisters to tease or any brother's to fight with, and had been completely devoid of anyone to express or share his feeling of grief with over his father's death. Not even a brother to anyone, Michael would never have the good fortune of being an uncle like Eric, and only had one opportunity to experience paternalistic love: fatherhood. What made this realisation worse to bear, other than Lauren's misinterpretation of his wants and feelings, was the presence of a woman he had shared so little time with yet knew so much of- the woman seated opposite him. Sydney knew of his lonely childhood. Sydney knew of his longing for a child of his. Sydney knew of the quiet home he grew up in and his desire to live in a contrasting atmosphere. It was sad really; his own wife knew him the least out of the three people gathered around him. He realised it wasn't right, but the consequences of his actions were his own doing.
Recognising the fact the conversation was pronounced dead on her arrival, Lauren made her excuses and left the three to themselves. She was slightly bitter that her attempt to weave herself into their little circle had failed, and she was disappointed she couldn't see Sydney and her husband interact in circumstances other than professional. She pushed the despoiling thoughts aside- she'd dwell on them later.
There was now silence between the trio, only the quiet whirr of their computers and the general murmur of social security filling the silence.
"There was a kid at my school called Melvin" Eric said causing a laugh to escape both his best friends. Vaughn sat back into his chair, bent up his arm and clicked his pen in his hand, a genuine grin on display. Sydney threw her pencil onto her keyboard with a clatter and leant forward to rest her temple against her fist, her arm propped up on her desk. She smiled fondly at Eric. 'Yeah. This is how it's meant to be' he thought. 'This is the only awkward triangle necessary in this rotunda'