A/N: I did an overhaul of the chapters; this time around it would be 2.5-3K words per chapter. So this in fact, a combination of chapters 1-3. I also edited some parts of former Ch. 1-3
Chapter 1: News, Flowers and Explosions.
She could see through the wedding veils; how those blue eyes so similar, yet so different from hers, yearned for someone else.
To the rousing applause of an enthusiastic and supportive audience, he leaves the stage. Still, he did feel a bit guilty. A white lie. In front of billions. Was he going to turn into his father, or those scheming madmen of SEELE?
Shame was what she felt.
A scary thought; but that wasn't the case. One couldn't just eliminate the whole of man's greatest technological project since the Manhattan Project. Just imagine the good that could be brought about by the advances in technologies applied in the MAGI systems, and of course, the Evas. Well, that was the reason for the uproar among the intelligentsia when he had first announced this measure. Most, if not all, were very displeased. To be fair, they did have a point; good or bad, whatever came out of Project E was definitely significant.
She stared at the empty cans of beer. One messed up life traded for another.
Though, he could understand why they had to lie; hard and pressing issues are easier to deal with in secret, rather than in public. The public would misunderstand too easily, and besides, this speech was more meant for them. By them, he meant all those warlords and corrupt autocrats who've eked out a place in the post-Third Impact world, in the midst of all the chaos. All of them, itching to rebuild those massive warhorses of destruction, Evangelions. Better to let them think that he and the United Nations threw all that information away. Let the cooler heads among the citizenry rant about all the valuable information lost; most of the masses simply wanted nothing to do with those walking bipedal things or, rather, persons, that lent a hand to them turning into a liquid reminiscent of tang.
Happiness. False happiness; like a long gone façade of arrogance and pride.
His phone rang. He pulled it out from his pocket. It was Misato. Maybe she'll complain to him again about her paperwork, as usual. Then again, it was always good to hear from a friend.
Can't she be looked at the same way, she was. No, she was just that. A replacement.
"Shinji…there's something you should know…"
Steps were heard from the stairs.
Secrets.
Hide them away, those cans; the shame. Hide it all. Throw them all away.
You'll never know, when they'll bite you back.
A bouquet of white roses. A mother and a daughter. The television, turned on.
"Just a few minutes have passed since the United Nations, in light with the controversial recommendation given by the United Nations Special Affairs Commission (UNSAC) has decided to pass Special Resolution 007…"
"Mother, what are those flowers for?" asked a small twelve year old girl as she played with her short brown hair. Her blue eyes twinkled with simple curiosity and amazement, as she turned her eyes to the thirty-something year old woman clad in a red blouse, long black skirt and a plain white lab coat.
"…The resolution calls for the restriction of information and technologies related to the infamous Project E, which helped in the development and execution of the Human Complementation Project, also known as the Instrumentality Incident…"
"They're for a…friend…a…friend of your father's." replied the middle-aged woman, who put both of her palms on her face, visibly frustrated. These roses…they reminded her of memories she didn't want to even remember. Why she even bothered to go that grave? Because Shinji couldn't, that's why. That's what she told herself.
Lie.
"UNSAC Director and former Evangelion pilot Shinji Ikari made the announcement in front of the Tokyo -3 Peace Pyramid at around ten in the morning, Tokyo-3 time. Highlights of his speech were…"
"Then what was her name, mom..."
The little girl tugged at the ends of her white lab coat. She looked at the woman with a pure sense of innocence, one hard to turn away from. Turning her attention to her daughter, the woman sighed. Obviously, she looked worried. Perhaps, her daughter was worried with her. Was she really that easy to read?
"…an effort to address the concerns of the unsettling similarity between the UNSAC and NERV, accountability issues within the UNSAC, in relation to the general structure of the United Nations…"
"If…you don't want…to answer…that's okay…I'm sorry"
She couldn't help but smile at how considerate her daughter was, as she caressed the soft hair of the little girl sitting right next to her. Sometimes, the little girl really took after her father, which was, to be honest, quite cute.
"…issues concerning the handling of permitted civilian technologies derived from Project E…"
Though, if her daughter became a little too soft, then she'd have to teach her to fend for herself. She wouldn't want her to be going around, apologizing for everything like his father did when he was…she was getting ahead of herself, wasn't she?
"…and the criticized recommendation of the UNSAC on the fate of the non-permitted or banned technologies derived from Project E, which called for the complete destruction of information related to these matters…"
That little angel of a girl was her daughter, the daughter of Asuka Sohryu-Langley-Ikari. And that daughter is going to be just as strong-willed, stubborn and hard headed as her mother and (sometimes) her father was. Still…
The woman glances towards the glass table. She stares intently at the bouquet lying on it. And then, she looks at the petite figure of her precious daughter, fully at ease. She couldn't help but feel a bit envious at how fortunate her child was, not having to live during a time of war or…utter chaos. She shuddered slightly as she recalled the unfortunate memories of the aftermath of Third Impact; it was no joke to say that the way of living shortly after Third Impact was very similar to living during the subsequent horror and utter disarray that followed Second Impact. No amount of personal enlightenment given during Third Impact could prevent some people from losing their minds and sanity once more in the brief ensuing anarchy. She remembered quite vividly, how she screamed when she saw that thing…that disembodied head…
"…This is Ben Shita, reporting live, in front of the Tokyo-3 Peace Pyramid, UN-PBN…"
"Dear, I'll be going somewhere in a while. Would like to come with me? Or, do you want me to leave you with Aunt Hikari while I'm gone?"
The little girl closed her eyes in thought and then made up her mind after a few short minutes.
"Okay, I'll just go with you, mom!" answered the grinning daughter.
Soon afterwards, the pair exited their apartment and went down to their small car parked in the parking complex adjoined to their building. The woman, after exiting the parking complex, then made her way towards the gridlock and traffic that was a part of her routine life in Tokyo-3. But, she did notice something quite odd; from the looks of it, the traffic situation was actually worse than it usually was. Was there a serious accident, somewhere in Tokyo-3, causing all this commotion?
She tuned in to the news on the local traffic situation from the on board computer of the car. Hmm…nothing out of the ordinary, though. Just a few public works projects near one of the main outbound rail systems of Tokyo-3 causing all the trouble. Those darn bureaucrats just had to declare the entire surrounding area restricted! Didn't the MAGI handle everything these days!
"A statement from the Tokyo-3 Metropolitan Authority has stated that gas leakages were one of the main causes for the explosions at near the RD MRT station, one of the main stations which handle outbound rail traffic from the surrounding regional centres, such as Tokyo-2"
Explosion?
Just what the hell was happening these days?
It took her two hours to get to the Instrumentality Memorial Park, which was once known as the Second Impact Remembrance Park, where they made simple grave marks for some of those who died during the Second Impact, and recently, those who died during the war with the Angels and those who didn't return, from the hell that was Instrumentality during the Third Impact; they numbered in the tens of millions.
Including that person.
A few steps, she took, followed by her daughter. Perhaps, she shouldn't have brought her along, but then again, that idiot, Shinji, already went here, since he was busy with work. I mean, while she takes after her father…that expression of hers…just…
There. She finally made it. Laying down the bouquet of flowers in front of the simple grave mark, Asuka took a long, deep breath.
She needed it.
Asuka felt a tug on her lab coat. It was her daughter, Nagi.
"The name of…dad's friend…was it…Rei…-"
"Ayanami. Pilot Rei Ayanami. Pilot of Evangelion Unit 00. Your…aunt…"
It didn't matter if she said a piece of "classified information" to her daughter. No one was listening, as far as she knew. And even if they did, would they actually give a damn? Would they give a damn about a little girl knowing about a pilot who technically doesn't exist? Would they? A fitting end to the doll; forgotten and thrown in the waste bin of history. Asuka, she sarcastically mumbled to herself, are you getting too bitter these days?
Deserved it.
"But…dad…is an only…child…right?"
Then again, was she ready for the truth? Or would she just place a burden on her carefree and happy daughter. Well, when she thought long and hard about it, it was much better to be safe than sorry. She shouldn't just take out her frustrations on her daughter; that was just plain stupid to begin with.
"Yes. She was just…a close friend…"
A small lie. Adequate, for now. How do you hoist the truth upon her shoulders and when, exactly?
Asuka felt another tug.
"But…they didn't tell us the name of the pilot of Evangelion 00 in school…did they…"
Not really a full lie.
Asuka looked up, towards the clear blue sky. Much like that stupid blue hair of hers. She raised her right hand towards the sky. She stared intently at her ring. Sapphire; it given by a blundering idiot, who probably didn't even know what her favourite colour was, looking for some random ring to give.
It certainly wasn't any shade of blue.
She spat on the ground; spit hitting the grave. Nagi blinked her eyes in surprise.
Silently, she said to herself.
"Still, damn that doll…"
Explosions.
Fiery flames and deafening trumpets.
They reek of destruction. They reek of death. I do not like death. I hate it, I hate it so much. Yet I have seen death, since I was I. Since I was here. Why was that, really? Why does death have to always follow me? Why is it that my path is filled with destruction?
"Come on, we have to move, before they catch up to us!"
Oh right, we were being chased by crazy, violent madmen. Yep, another place we just ruined for everyone else. Great job, Lily. What mess have we made this time around?
Anyway, that voice belongs to my companion. He grabs my arm, and I run with him. We need to escape from them. Our pursuers, they're persistent. Heck, they've been literally chasing us halfway across the world. Though, I feel a strange feeling when he touches me. It is odd. It is…familiar to my senses. A warm sensation that rushes throughout my body, and my heart thumping; I feel that I should have remembered it from some time in my life, before I was I; when I was someone else.
Explosions. One after another, once more occur, in a cacophony of chaos. I am unsettled by them. I hate them with every fibre in my being. They are the worst signs of violence, and violence in one thing I cannot possibly ever tolerate. Ever.
"Hey, pay attention Lilly, or you're going to get us killed!"
His hold on my arm tightens. I then realize that this is not the right time for me to think about these things; right now, I have to do what I can to survive. And that means I have to stay focused and sharp; no time to think about these things now. I have all the time to think about it later; if I'm still alive, that is.
"Yes, you are right…my source…be alert. It is of no use to not be as such."
That voice again. It clouds my mind, whenever I hear her. Another being within oneself. Though, the voice is not usually inclined to conversation. It is quite amusing, that it actually tries to talk to me at times like these, when I'm running for my life.
"You find irony within my actions and your situation. I prefer you keep your mind focused on the latter, for our continued survival."
Yes, yes, I know that. But why do you speak now? When you could have done so, earlier? Back when were not, I don't know, getting ourselves out being killed. Besides, it's not every day that you have a talking voice in your head. Then again, you don't really say much...for a voice inside my head…hell, I don't even know your name!
"…"
Hmm…you're back to your usual self again, eh? To be honest, I think it's much better if we talked. I mean, you are a voice within my mind, so why can't we just get along? After all, we are in the same body and technically, it's like, ours. Or more like mine, really.
"You are annoying. It is you who is in my body."
Okay, fine. Maybe, I am the trespasser here. Sorry, it's totally not my fault I'm in your body; but, didn't you tell me yourself that you weren't supposed to live anyway? You were killed in what was it again? Third Impact, right?
"You were not supposed to live…L-"
Our little mental argument was interrupted by a very bad sound. As in, very, very bad. I could hear the clattering of metal against metal, or the way those horrid things pierce through the smoke and air. It is something that I have learned to fear. Gunshots.
Guns. Bullets. They're here.
A bullet nearly whizzed across my head. My heart beats, in fear. I could feel it. But the scary part was what you felt within; that sick feeling that overcomes you when these things happen. And I could feel it when death was just around the corner, ready to claim anyone around me. What I felt rather, was a fear of anyone, good or bad, dying, not myself. It was a frightening experience.
I hated it. I hated every second of it.
"Are you alright, Lily! Did you get hit or something?" said my companion. He looked worried, and his red hair was all ruffled and messy. I manage to briefly nod, to signal that I was okay. His face softened afterwards, in relief. We continued our search for an escape, keeping our mouths shut as we grew to escape their grasps; we didn't want to give away our location.
"Thank goodness! Anyway, all we have to do now is to go down those stairs and head towards one of those old abandoned pathways which lead up to the abandoned shelter areas…"
Amid all of the bullets and fiery debris, we managed to reach the stairs, and go down, towards the shelters. Luckily, both of us were unharmed; although, I could have sworn that one bullet was headed for his chest, when it suddenly bounced off. Odd. Almost like a force-
"It is an A.T field, or have you forgotten everything, my source…"
Yeah, we all know you're a know-it-all.
"I was merely saying a statement of fact"
Well, it turned out that he was right. We've managed to evade our pursuers once again; as it turns out, no one was looking for us here, in this odd pathway. This pathway seemed old and disused, and anyone could tell that it had not been maintained for years. You could see the oozing green slime covering the walls, and the remains of dead insects such as cockroaches littering the floor.
I guess I can talk to that voice again.
So, why'd you decide to talk to me anyway, oh mysterious voice-within-my-head?
"I decided to talk because…"
Ah, you seem to be shy lately…do you feel…
"No, I do not feel attracted to your companion, even if I am of the same opinion that he is physically attractive…although…"
Although what? Come on, spill it out already! At this rate, I'm not sure I'll live that long, with all these people trying to kill us! I mean, we've been bombed by planes, we've been hunted down by trained assassins, we've been through countless explosions and we've nearly been run over by some car in a highway!
"I…felt a sense of attraction to…loved…someone…"
Ah…so beneath that cold and calculating exterior is a heart of gold, eh? So, what's his name? Maybe we can hunt him down, so you can talk to-
"No."
After that single comment, that voice never did try to talk to me again. I must've touched on something deep. Still, after a long walk, we were there. We saw a big hatch, which, according to Frank, leads directly to somewhere near the centre of Tokyo-3 itself. He went and turned the rusting locking mechanism clockwise, opening the hatch. He takes my hand and we walk out, right into the main avenue, to see a bustling city, filled with tall building that could almost reach the sky, and throngs of people walking along the sidewalks.
Amid all of them, was a Black Pyramid. I felt almost connected to it, somehow. I just stand there, staring at it, almost as if in a trance until Frank decides to snap me out it.
"Is there a problem, Lily?"
"It's just…"
"Just what…"
"I feel like I'm…home…"
He was smiling, as if he was amused. I was embarrassed, to be honest. Usually, I did that, not him. He was always serious, and I liked it that way, thank you very much. When it's the other way around; it's not all good anymore. I really, really wished, someone would just wipe that stupid smile off his face.
"So, Frank, what are you doing with such a pretty girl without telling your dear aunt…?"
Damn.