[This is my version of the Misadventures of Tron Bonne by Capcom. You'll know right away when the dissimilarities start and maybe even wish that's how the game went...maybe...]
The ocean of sand had to have been at least 100 degrees while the air temperature was only 125 degrees. The Nakai Desert was notorious for the disappearances of many diggers who became lost either by losing their maps, giant bats, or slight mental retardation from the arsenic in the tap water. The list could go on but the fact that it's a desert should be the first clue not to venture off into it. Nevertheless, on this fine warm day in the Nakai desert, a speck of pinkish red was the only standout in this otherwise stark sea of sand. Upon closer inspection, it is revealed that it is a medium sized mech with a gun for both arms; two 50. Caliber chainguns to be precise. The mech charged at full speed, leaving behind large prints in the sand dunes. Hanging on for dear life were 4 yellow headed minions with blue bodies, all but one looking forward.
Several miles away in the distance was a rock formation that had natural pathways carved into it from millions of years of wind and sand abrasion. The mech stopped, letting off the 4 minions who then stood in front of it. They stood attention as if waiting for instructions. Soon, the round head of the mech opened, revealing a pilot inside. He stood tall in his green armor, proudly gazing at the rock monument in front of him. His seemingly unnatural white hair fell all the way to his lower back. Through his red goggles he focused on the main entrance within the formation of sand colored rock in front of him. With a loud gruff voice he spoke.
"Alright! This looks like the place, Servebots! The map hasn't failed us yet! It looks as if that junkyard dealer was legitimate after all!" he said with a fist held high.
"Master Teisel, does this mean that once we're done here, we'll have the money paid back in full?" one of the yellow minions, known as a servebot, asked.
"You are correct! I can finally get out from under the scope of that fat…I mean extremely overweight…okay how can I be nice about this, guys?"
"Heavyset, Master Teisel?"
"There we go! Thank you…yes, that heavyset man has had me on the edge for a while. Man, he gives me the creeps but once we find Diana's Tear rest assured we can finally enjoy Tron's latest work, our new home: The Gesellschaft! On that note, not a word of what goes on today to Tron, understood?"
"Yes Master Teisel, but how come?"
"Because, she doesn't need to be dragged into my business. As far as she's concerned the 7 billion Zenny for the Gesellschaft came from our honest work"
"But aren't we pirates, Master Teisel?"
"You know what I mean! Anyways, not a moment to lose! We have to meet up with Bon Bonne who's probably already found the entrance to the ruin"
With that, Teisel proceeded forward in the mech known as the Gustaff into the rock formation with the servebots holding on again. As it rounded each corner, traces of charred debris lay in random locations, much of it smoking as it was just destroyed only minutes ago.
"Looks like Bon Bonne has been working hard here taking care of those reaverbots who guard the entrances" Teisel said with a smile.
On the rock walls were paintings; each one told historical tale of those who lived there or diggers who got lost. Their message was along the lines of "Get out of here if you're still alive" Teisel studied the paintings quickly as they went by. He didn't think too deeply about them with the current task at hand. The narrow corridor opened up in front of him, leading to a wide open area. On the other side was a structure based on Greek architecture. Stone pillars lined up on the side of the rock; the entrance to the ruin. Just outside of the ruin was another mech or what looked like a mech. It had a mostly yellow body but had eyes that could blink, two small horns on its head, and what looked like a massive pacifier. It was slightly smaller than the Gustaff.
"Bon Bonne! Glad to see you made it! Nice work with the reaverbots back there!"
"Babuu" is what it said in return.
"Indeed! Let's get this over with. Servebots! Assemble and stay close by as we enter the ruin…"
Before Teisel could give out further instructions a fast moving object struck the side of Bon Bonne, exploding on impact. Teisel watched terrified as Bon Bonne's head sailed through the air for hundreds of feet before touching down somewhere on the other side of the rock wall.
"Bon Bonne!" was all he could say, still trying to figure out the situation which was about to get even worse.
A tall blue mech suddenly landed on top of the ruin in front of Teisel, shaking the ground around him. Teisel gazed at in for a few moments before he spoke.
"You there! Did you do that to Bon Bonne!" he was enraged.
"That's not a polite way to greet someone you know" a voice said from inside the blue bot.
Teisel's face went from rage to shock.
"That voice…Glyde!"
"You got it right this time too. That's the only accomplishment you'll have today I'm afraid" he spoke somewhat softly but with a sinister tone.
"Wha…why are you here? I'm working!"
"Your payment is overdue, Teisel. Mr. Loathe wants his money back now" Glyde explained.
"What do you think I'm doing here? Diana's Tear is in that ruin and once I add that to everything else I've uncovered I'll have the money! I swear!" Teisel pleaded.
"I'm afraid that once your time is up, you time is up! I have orders to bring you and your brother in. Just be glad your sister is not on the list"
With clenched teeth, Teisel growled, putting his finger on the trigger inside the Gustaff.
"You son of a…!" was all Teisel said before firing both 50. caliber machine guns at Glyde's mech but Glyde dodged the first round of shots.
The sound of gunfire echoed throughout the desert as Teisel and Glyde exchanged shots, neither one quite landing a crippling blow, though both mechs were somewhat damaged.
The entrance to the ruin had been destroyed and several reaverbots came to inspect the firefight but they were decimated in the crossfire. Teisel and Glyde now stood at the entrance to the rock formation that Teisel spotted miles back. Both mechs were smoking and a small fire was burning on the Gustaff's knee.
"Not bad" Glyde said panting, not expecting the impressive fight by Teisel. "I only expected the best from the eldest of the Bonne Family…however…" he took another breath.
The sound of a laser whirring was heard, coming from Glyde's mech. Teisel disregarded it at first, waiting for what Glyde had to say.
"…it's not quite good enough" Glyde finished.
Teisel had an expression of concern on his face, now realizing what was happening.
"I was supposed to bring you both to Mr. Loath, but I think I'll just end it now"
"What are you…" was all Teisel said in reply.
"Don't worry! I'll just sell that machine you had your sister built as payment for Mr. Loathe and maybe even sell your sister to Mr. Loathe for work"
Teisel's blood started to boil hotter than magma upon hearing those words.
"SELL MY SISTER!" he shouted so loudly that any loose rock formations that were created by the gunfight now collapsed into the desert sand.
Glyde was now shaken, not expecting a verbal reprisal from Teisel. He suddenly regretted his words.
"Ultimate Glyde Laser!" Glyde shouted hoping it would defuse the situation and end the altercation.
A bright purple laser shot from the head of Glyde's mech, impacting by where the Gustaff stood, resulting in a blinding explosion that made the light of the sun look dim. About a minute later the smoke cleared, revealing a crater where the sand dune used to be.
"That was too close. If I hadn't done that I don't know what he would be capable of doing when being that pissed off. Time to look for his bod…" Glyde began but was cut off.
"Let's find out, you little prick!" a loud gruff voice yelled.
Glyde figured out immediately that he missed Teisel and was about to pay for his actions.
The Gustaff gunned towards the blue mech at blazing speed. The Servebots watched from the distance on another sand dune, safe from any harm.
"I think that man is in huge trouble" one servebot said.
"I've seen Master Teisel upset before but not like this. I wonder how bad this is about to get" another servebot said as he watched the Gustaff take aim at Glyde's mech.
Rather than using gunfire, Teisel ejected the right chaingun at the speed of sound, right into the midsection of the large blue robot in front of him where the mainframe computer was stored, piercing the metal as it sailed through. It happened so fast, Glyde had no time to set up a defense. Fighting the controls he tried to keep his mech upright but it fell forward upon being hit by the barrel of the Gustaff's ejected gun. Sand spread in all directions as it hit the ground.
"Dammit!" he yelled, fumbling for the door handle to the emergency exit door.
Teisel watched a door open up on the back of the head of the fallen mech. Glyde was about to make an escape. He sprinted back into the narrow passage between the rocks.
"Where do you think you're going? You're mine now!" Teisel fumed then charged forward again after Glyde. He caught up effortlessly then threw himself out of the Gustaff landing on Glyde, stopping him in his tracks. Teisel turned Glyde face up then with his metal fists he drove them hard into Glyde's face, each punch stronger than the last.
"SELL MY SISTER! YOU DARE SAY THAT IN FRONT OF ME!" he furiously burrowed his fists, drawing a lot of blood.
Glyde didn't even muster a defense for himself physically or verbally. It was as if he knew what he had done and decided that he deserved what he was getting.
"IF YOU EVER TALK ABOUT TRON LIKE THAT AGAIN I WILL MURDER YOUR ASS IN COLD BLOOD! YOU HEAR ME, YOU LITTLE WASTE OF A LIFE!"
He continued his onslaught of punches when he felt a large hand on his shoulder. He stopped immediately. It was Bon Bonne. He didn't even ask how Bon was suddenly alive and back in one piece as he looked at Glyde on the ground. Glyde had intended to apprehend both Teisel, the oldest of the Bonne Family, and Bon Bonne, the baby brother and hand them over to Lex Loathe but the tables turned as the predator became the prey. An unconscious Glyde was literally a bloody mess on the desert sand. Blood flowed from his face, staining the sand and flowing several feet further. The Servebots gathered nearby, all looking appalled. They had never seen this side of Teisel before. Each one was too afraid to speak. Even Bon Bonne.
"Let's just go guys. Forget Diana's Tear" Teisel replied with a cold steel tone still in his voice causing everyone within earshot, who was still conscious, to jump a bit in fear.
The wind started to kick up sand as they walked towards the Gustaff. As they left, the last servebot in line looked back at the destroyed mech and Glyde who was not going anywhere for a while. The shifting sands began to cover his body. He hoped that he would at least wake up and not die in the desert sand as it was sweltering. He thought about asking Teisel to have mercy on Glyde but then thought that Teisel might turn on him so he kept quiet. Teisel climbed into the damaged Gustaff with the servebots hanging on the top. Bon Bonne piggybacked behind. Without saying a word, they rode through the heart of the Nakai Desert back towards civilization.
[This is not a typical tale of people in distress needing to be rescued. No...this is about being sick and tired of being constantly harassed by loan sharks and mafia members and doing something about it. Now the Bonnes will go on the offensive...this is...The Revenge of the Bonnes!]
So how was that? It starts off just like the very beginning of the Misadventures of Tron Bonne and it would have stayed the same if Glyde just kept his mouth shut before firing his patented attack...I think it's patented...whatever...I need some freaking food.