The Christmas Waif
Chapter 1 - December 23, 2005
Penny was too tired to go any further, besides she had no idea where she was, so she found a bench and sat down, in front of what she thought, as she looked around, was an apartment building. She had at first started running at midnight and then when she wasn't able to run anymore, walking, until now, some time in the next afternoon. It was so cold outside and she immediately felt that cold as the heat she had been generating while walking soon vanished as she sat. She couldn't keep going anymore, so she pulled up the hood of her hoodie tighter, trying to get warmer, as she also wrapped her arms around herself to try and get warmer. She was alone, scared and hungry, and she also knew her eyes would be wet if she wasn't so dehydrated, since she hadn't anything to drink since the day before.
Yesterday, it seemed like so long ago, she had been homeless for two weeks, her only possessions the clothes on her back and it seemed she was cold and hungry all the time those weeks. So when the care workers came around to take some of them to the shelter it seemed like maybe her luck had turned. They told her it was going to be too cold to be out the next few days and they offered food, a warm place to sleep and even a shower, it was like a dream come true she thought. That was until she went to the shower area, and then everything turned wrong, really wrong, putting her in the situation she found herself now. A couple men, she came to the shelter with, had followed behind her to the showers and had seen her go into the girls changing room. They walked into that changing room and saw her without her coat, her now grasping that they had probably thought she was a boy with her short hair, but now they realized she was a girl. What happened next terrified her as they had pulled at her clothes and tried to rape her, making her fight for her life to get away from the horror of what they planned to do to her. She was weak, from weeks on the street, and barely got away, loosing her coat in her escape, running away from the shelter, then walking, until she got there, now not able to walk anymore, too weak and tired to go on.
It was so cold, as she kept trying to make herself smaller and hold herself tighter to keep warm, the clothes on her back her only remaining possessions anymore and the only thing she had to keep her warm. Everything she had owned was in the pockets of the warm coat she lost, and now that she had lost everything, there was nothing left for her and as it got colder she realized it might be the end of the line for her. It was a lot different now, then when she first came to California, over a year and a half ago, she had come with dreams and a boyfriend named Kurt. Kurt made her feel special and he told her she was pretty enough to do movies, it was just he never told her those movies were porn. She had resisted him at first, even getting into fights with him about it, but after about six months she gave in and did a couple movies with him. She had hated it but rationalized that as long as she was doing it only with her boyfriend she could go on, swallowing her pride and doing it for him, or them, like he told her.
Then one day everything changed, she showed up one day at the studio and found they wanted her to do more, they wanted her to do a gangbang scene with three men and that was something she could never do. Kurt and her fought all night, her telling him she couldn't do it and him telling her she was selfish for not wanting to do something for them. It was then that she started to grow up, she now understood that no man that loved her would agree to have her fucked by so many men, so she knew what she had to do and finally left Kurt, once and for all.
The next several months went by in a blur, she now had nowhere to live so she got with guys she had met through Kurt, guys she thought may care for her by the way they acted around her before, buff handsome men, like the guys she always hung out with in high school. She would live with these guys for a couple of months at a time, before they would all throw her out, of course only after they were done using her. It was only two weeks ago when she got thrown out again and it was two weeks ago that she found out she had no place left to go. It shocked her, she couldn't believe she had no place left and as the day, then night passed, she ended up finding a place to rest resulting in her sleeping for the first time on the street. It rapidly went downhill from there, not being able to access simple things, like a shower or clean clothes, she got scared, her life was falling apart in front of her and there was the cold, there was always the cold. So after only a couple days she knew she had to do something, she went back to the studio, telling them she would do any type of porn they wanted, but they were not even interested anymore and they sent her away.
That's how she ended up were she was now, lost, hungry and cold, people walking by her not even noticing, she felt she didn't exist anymore and sometimes she wished she didn't. Like right now as a tall lanky pale man walked by her grunting in disgust, as he passed her to the door of his apartment building, not even acknowledging her existence. Then a second man went around her, shorter, with glasses, who seemed to be trying to catch up to the taller man, again too busy to notice the homeless girl on the bench.
She was a nobody, the world was done with her, and as the cold soaked deeper into her, she realized that there was nothing left for her and there was nothing she could do. She shivered and there was nothing she could do to stop it, the cold was wining, there was no way for her to get warm again and there was a numbness forming in her soul that told her she wouldn't survive the night. She was scared and ashamed, the thoughts of her being found with no ID, no one to claim her body, created another chill in her and that chill consumed her too as she wasn't able to do anything about it either. Penny closed her eyes and waited, she had given up and hoped in wouldn't be painful, but she was tired of being cold and to be honest she wanted it to be over.