Whiskey Lullaby

She put him out, like the burning end of a midnight cigarette.

She broke his heart; he spent his whole life trying to forget.

We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time.

But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind until the night.

Natalya rubbed the sleep from her eyes as the rays of sunlight crept into the cracks of her rickety old wooden blinds. She yawned slightly as she finally opened her eyes and turned over a bit. She smiled and trailed her finger against the sleeping man's cheek who laid beside her. A sickening feeling returning to her stomach yet again. She hated the feeling she always got when she slept with him. But she couldn't help it, she loved him.

He was everything to her and she wouldn't change that for the world. She smiled as he awoke and watched him turn over to look at her. "Good morning, gorgeous." He said with a smile as he leaned in to kiss her softly. Their lips meeting in a passionate kiss before a loud bang was heard by the door. Natalya turned her head and felt the lump in her throat grow even worse. She pulled on her robe as she ran out after him but she was too late, he had already pulled off on his motorcycle leaving her there calling after him.

Natalya felt her eyes fill with tears even more as she collapsed on to the cold white porch. She sobbed uncontrollably as she pulled her knees up to her chest. She felt horrible. The one person she loved more than anything in this world had just caught her cheating. She sniffled and sobbed as she picked herself up from the porch and walked back into the house finding the man in her bed still there with a smirk on his face. She tossed his clothes at him angrily. "Leave. Now." She said angrily.

She watched as he pulled on his clothes and slammed the door behind him. Tears still falling down her face as she laid curled into a ball in the empty queen sized bed. She sobbed harder as she turned over grabbing the picture frame of the two of them. Natalya and Tyson were best friends and lovers. A bad combination but everything had gone great until he had left to join the army. She had started to see him less and less and it pained her. Not only did she cheat but she had gotten caught red handed.

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger, and finally drank away her memory.

Life is short, but this time it was bigger, than the strength he had to get up off his knees.

We found him with his face down in the pillow, with a note that said 'I love her 'til I die'.

Then, we buried him beneath the willow, then the angels sang a whiskey lullaby.

Natalya had finally gotten out of the bed after laying there for two days. She was invited to the military dance once again. She pulled on her red dress with trembling hands as she dried her eyes and fixed her make up. She popped her lips softly before taking a look at herself in the mirror. She swallowed a bit before smiling weakly at herself and walked away with her purse. Natalya had hoped Tyson would be there tonight so she could try to apologize. She needed him in her life and she couldn't lose him.

Natalya slowly stepped into the small pub as she looked around. She caught sight of Tyson dancing drunkenly with someone's girlfriend which turned into an altercation. Before she could even try to help out or speak to him, he was dismissed from the festivities. She sighed softly and swallowed back the lump in her throat as she walked out on to the floor to dance with one of the guys. She only imagined he was Tyson, that simple thought kept a smile on her face as she danced with the stranger before her.

Natalya stayed for a few songs before she dismissed herself and headed home. She pulled off her dress slipping on her night gown before she curled up in her bed and cried herself to sleep. She felt terrible. All she wanted to do was to go to him and make him realize that she really did love him. She had never meant to hurt him the way she did. It was one time. One time too many.

Natalya awoke the next morning with red eyes and messy hair. She sat up as her telephone rang loudly before she reached over to grab it. "Hello?" She answered in a sleepy voice. A man on the other end of the phone spoke gruffly. "Mam, your boyfriend, TJ Wilson, was found dead at 7 oclock this morning. We found him lying face down on a pillow with a bottle of whiskey in one of his hands." Natalya felt the phone fall from her grasp as it hit the floor crashing loudly as she felt the tears falling down her face. She tried to pull herself together as she made her way to the funeral dressed in all black. Her hair pinned up as she stared at the dead man in the coffin. Her sobs coming harder now as some of her friends and family along with his tried to keep her calm. Part of her wanting to believe it wasn't her fault, another large part knowing it was her fault he had died.

The rumors flew, but nobody knew how much she blamed herself.

For years and years, she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath.

She finally drank away her pain, a little at a time.

But she could never get drunk enough to get him off her mind, until the night.

Natalya got home after the funeral and popped open her liquor cabinet pulling down a bottle of whiskey as she took a large swig from the bottle. She had downed nearly the entire thing in less than an hour and she pulled on an outfit heading out to the local pub. She inhaled a small breath as she wobbled slightly before gaining her balance as she entered the pub. A man walking up to her as she leaned against one of the walls. She turned her head to look at him as he spoke and she froze slightly. His face looked exactly like TJ's. She blinked slightly trying to stop imagining he was TJ but it didn't work. She simply nodded her head and followed him in her daze like state to the center of the room as she danced with him.

Natalya took the man home and slept with him before angrily tossing his clothing at him and shoving him out the front door. She slid against the door after locking it with tears in her eyes as she took down the bottle of whiskey and drank more of it as she sat there. She felt her hands trembling as she started full on sobbing once again. She downed more of the whiskey as she sat there, memories of her and TJ flashing through her mind like a scrapbook.

Natalya shook her head trying to make them stop but they wouldn't go away. She just wanted them to go away. She wanted them to stop. She closed her eyes but only the vision of his lifeless body flooded her vision as she snapped her eyes open. Sobbing uncontrollably into the blanket as she crawled into bed with the bottle of whiskey. She shook slightly and hiccupped as she laid there sobbing before drinking more.

Natalya was helpless at this point. Alcohol being her only friend and savior. She felt like nothing else could help her. She grabbed the picture frame of the two of them sitting at the beach kissing as the sun was setting. She downed more of the whiskey as she clung to the picture frame for dear life. The only remaining memory she had left. She would never let go of it even if her life depended on it. She sobbed even harder before grabbing the whiskey and downing the rest of it as she felt her eyes slowly closing. The picture frame still clung tightly to her body as she felt herself slowly become unconscious. No more crying. No more sadness. No more anything. Just silence and darkness.

She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger, and finally drank away his memory.

Life is short but this time it was bigger, than the strength she had to get up off her knees.

We found her with her face down in a pillow, clinging to his picture for dear life.

We laid her next to him beneath the willow, as the angels sang a whiskey lullaby.