Jet Black Heart

Chapter One: Feeling

Feeling; an emotion state or reaction.

He felt a bit of smoke come out of his nose as he puffed his cigarette leaning against the cold brick wall of the New York City bar. It was a frigid winter day and the tall, pale boy with hazel eyes and stubble on his face spent yet another day of numbness, drinking and smoking his life away. This boys name, Finn Hudson.

Finn was twenty-two years old living on his own in NYC. His job as bartender in Brooklyn didn't pay him very well but enough to get by. He was off tonight and whenever he was off he felt the need to go to a different bar and just lose himself even though he couldn't actually lose himself. His mind was really filled with many thoughts. Thoughts of his past and his failures. He thought of the people he lost because of his actions. He didn't feel sadness or anger though. His feelings were numb.

"HUDSON! Get your ass back in here!" His drunk friend yelled from the door of the bar. Noah Puckerman was Finn's only real friend and person in his life. Everyone else gave up on him. Puck as Finn called him was a lot like Finn. They both loved getting drunk and having sex. Well the difference between them was Puck did it for pleasure and Finn did it for the need to feel something but never did.

Finn took one last puff of his cigarette before throwing it on the sidewalk heading back inside. The music was loud and the bar was even more packed then the last time Finn was inside. Every single soul seemed to be drunk and it was a Tuesday night but that's the city that never sleeps for you. Finn's eyes searched for his friend who just a minute ago called for him. His eyes finally found Puck who was grinding with two girls. Finn chuckled and shook his head at his drunk friend realizing he himself wasn't even drunk yet. He walked over to the bar sitting on one of the stools.

A bartender finally came over and Finn looked up about to order but when meeting eyes with the girl in front of him became speechless. She was a short brunette girl with the most amazing sparkly hazel eyes, her skin was tan, she made a simple black V-neck with the bars logo on it look damn good. "Um- sir… what can I get you?" She asked with her angelic voice. "Oh um yeah I'll just have a Bud Light." He responded. The girl nodded with a small smile before going to get the beer. Finn planned on ordering something a lot stronger but when seeing the girl he felt something.

Finn sipped on his beer and attentively gazed at the girl. He had seen many hot woman in his life but never one who made him feel this way. The short girl walked back over to Finn, "Is there a reason sir why you are starring?" She asked with a concerned look. Finn shook his head, "Oh no-no oh starring at what?" He stuttered. "Me." She said shortly holding her eyes on his. "I have just never seen someone like you…" He responded honestly. The girl shot him a confused look, "Jewish?" He chuckled, "No no um just… you are very beautiful." He grinned. "Well as flattered as I am cliché guy in the bar that hits on me. I have a boyfriend and I think you are drunk." She nodded. Finn's mood went back to numb when he heard, I have a boyfriend. "Well in that case he's a very lucky guy and I hope you have a great night cliché girl I hit on in the bar." Finn got up and made his way out. The girl smiled at his words and blushed a bit. If only I got her name… he thought to himself.

Rachel got back to her Brooklyn apartment around 2AM after her shift at the bar. She was exhausted and couldn't get the boy who was flirting with her out of her head. Many people flirt with her every night at the bar but no one has ever made an impression like that random guy did. She wondered what his name was as she took off her apron and went into her bedroom which she shared with her boyfriend.

She saw her boyfriend, Brody already in bed. Rachel quietly walked in and got undressed looking for her pajamas before she heard a voice say, "Hey baby…" Brody said with his husky voice. "Hey…" she said finding her shorts and tank top starting to slip them on. "I am so tired…" Rachel's voice continued. Brody got up only in his underwear hugging onto Rachel. Rachel rolled her eyes knowing what Brody wanted to do. What he always wanted to do. Sex. "Baby I'm really not in the mood." She said trying to shrug him off. "But I am." He said turning her around toward him and kissing her forcefully and touching her everywhere.

After Brody's wanted activities Rachel laid naked in her bed exhausted but unable to sleep. Rachel was more of a sex toy to her boyfriend then a girlfriend. Was she sick of it? Yes. The wicked thing was that Brody had something held against Rachel that she never wanted to get out. She never wanted her friends and family to have to hear. Therefore she would cooperate with Brody.

Rachel loved to imagine a life without abuse but because of her past mistakes she feels that abuse all the time. She also couldn't help but think about that guy from the bar and the connection she had to him just by their eye contact. Rachel could never have another guy though. Brody slept with other people but if he found out that she was even flirting with some other guy he would hurt her and not just mentally but physically.

Rachel continued to stare at the ceiling lying there, naked. Lying by someone who was actually a ghost to her. That haunted her dreams and her life. She laid there numb. The emotional feeling of pure sadness. The worst feeling.