^-^ More angst stories in my life; doesn't that put me in a jolly mood?

~ A Collection of Letters ~

theperksofbeinganauthor

Ash,

How are you doing lately? I haven't seen you in a while... If you're thinking that there's a specific reason why I'm asking you—there isn't. I'm just amiably curious.

Anyways, how is your journey going? Meet any new people? I haven't heard from you in such a long time. I think it's been three years already. I can't tell; time's slipping through my hands like the grains of sand falling down an hourglass.

The gym is turning out wonderful. I love being a gym leader; it has always been something I wanted to do—other show my sisters a thing or two. The only downside is that I don't get to see you as often and I really miss traveling with you and Brock. Speaking of Brock, I wonder how he's doing.

I miss you guys more than you can ever imagine. I wish you'd come by and visit me once in while, instead of me having to go by your place just to see you for a day or two. Even then, you'd be off on your journey after a day or two, probably never thinking of me again.

I hate that... knowing that you never think of me as much as I think about you. I hate knowing that you probably don't care about me as much as I do about you. I'm usually the one who makes conversations with you and try to go out of my way to figure out when you'd be coming home for a break.

Honestly, I am managing. Sometimes, I wish that I have never met you; it would save me from this terrible heartbreak that I'm feeling right now. It would save me from endless hours of mourning for you and wondering when I would get to see you again. It would definitely save me from the wasted time I spent sitting around and thinking about you.

However, as much as I wish it sometimes, I knew that a part of me could never let you go. Throughout our journey, I've always felt something special and warm whenever I'm near you. I could never understand how I felt about you or the way I acted around you. But despite everything, I know that my life would not be complete without you.

I laugh, now, because I'm wondering how it is that we became friends. You make me furious and angry sometimes, along with other things that I've never felt around others before.

I stay up late at night sometimes, wondering when we would see each other again. I always think of you, Ash. I don't know if you do that as well. It's probably just a girl thing, but I will never know.

I hate that every time a challenger comes to the Cerulean Gym, I always get my hopes up because I think it's you. Every time a challenger comes through, they just remind me of you and the way you'd arrive at countless gyms and demand for a battle until you got one. I am reminded of that every time I see a trainer—whether he or she is determined, shy, nervous, or confident, they always remind me of you.

I'm tired of feeling this way about you; I know that you'll never feel the same way about me though; you're far too interested in Pokemon and training to notice anything romantic related even if it smacked you right in the face. I know for sure that the last thing you would be thinking about right now is your romantic life, but even so, I know that in several years from now, you would have already found the love of your life-and that person would not be me.

Although it would hurt me a lot, I wouldn't mind if I knew you were happy. I'm pretty sure any girl you're interested in would bring you happiness, and that's all I want. If she loves you half as much as I do, then that's good enough for me, because even if you forget me some day, you will always be in my heart.

Misty.

Ash,

I know we're both friends and everything, but I just don't know if you even care about me half as much as I do about you. Sometimes, I feel as if all that you care about is Pokemon training. I guess that's one of the things I admire about you... the way you'd always be able to get back on your feet and accomplish your dreams no matter what happens. However, it just pains me to think that you don't think of me any more than just a traveling companion. Do you even consider me a friend, Ash?

I'm troubling myself with unnecessary thoughts, aren't I? I know... I know. Although I wouldn't want to know the answer to that question I ask myself every day. It would pain me much more to know the real answer; I'd rather not know at all and assume that things are the way I want things to be.

I honestly don't know why I'm writing you letters. I think it just eases my conscious to think that I am actually talking to you when I'm really not. It's not like I'm ever going to give you these letters. The thought just fills me with so much dread I cannot come to imagine how it would be like if anyone discovered my stash of letters to you.

Here I am, writing a bunch of useless letters to you, when I wouldn't confront you with my actual feelings. I'm such a coward huh? I'm not anywhere as pleased with myself as you'd be with me at this very moment.

Misty.

Ash,

I have no idea where you are right now, so it would be useless if I even tried. I decided to leave them with your mom; I hope you don't mind. You're bound to come home... right?

I'm still video calling your mom every month to figure out when you'd be back. She told me that she'd call me as soon as she finds out when you'll be back, but every fiber in my body does not want to wait. I often go over to your house to see how your mom's doing. Even though I know you are not home, going to your house is like a haven. I feel comfortable and at peace, for once. It's kind of the feeling I get when I spend time with you-I feel at ease... as if there is nothing else in the world but you.

She's doing great-your mom. I think she gets a bit lonely though. I know it's hardly fair of me to say this, but you should have kept your mom company while she's all alone at home. She doesn't stay with anyone and she rarely visits Professor Oak, from what I heard.

Your mom misses you, Ash. As do I. Please come back soon. I miss you.

Misty.

Ash Ketchum,

I officially hate you.

I can't find any way to contact you or see you again and you're making me miss you dreadfully. I cannot stop thinking about you; this is all your fault. I hate the way you make me feel especially when you act like it's no big deal or anything.

You're able to make me feel over the moon with every word you say and yet, everything I do to you doesn't affect you as much as it affects me. To you, we're just friends. That's all I'll ever be to you.

Sometimes, I just wish to live a romance-free life, but every time I try, I start thinking about you and all the things that could have happened. And so, I just get depressed thinking about 'what-ifs'. Sometimes, I wish you were a different person so I wouldn't fall for you, but I know that I wouldn't want it any other way. I like you the way you are and imagining you as someone else would not be right. You wouldn't be Ash.

Although it'd be simpler, I know that my world would not be the same without you in it, even if you've been missing from my life these past few years.

I'm still waiting for you, Ash.

Misty.

I actually finished this many days ago, except I wanted to post this on a very special day. (:

Please review or leave behind any sort of feedback; it will be much appreciated. xD

With love,

Lily.