Well guys, I'm back. The Reaper is alive, and ready to step back into the world of fanfiction. It's been quite some time, I apologise. Life just has a funny way of throwing curveballs at you when you're least expecting or wanting them (though really, who actually wants a curveball thrown at them anyway?). It's definitely been one hell of a journey for me, a hard one to say the least, but I'm starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel, finally. Life doesn't seem so bad anymore, I'm getting motivated to do things again, rather than just sit alone in my room all the time and feel miserable about my life and everything that goes wrong in it, most of which I brought onto myself. Now, I'm getting the help that I need (it also helps that now I'm actually opening up to my counsellor and talking about things instead of bottling it up), and things are improving. My time away has given me time to rethink my life and everything in it. All of the things that were unhealthy for me and holding me back, I've let go of. I don't want to feel the way that I used to. Of course I still have my bad days, but I don't let it keep me down the way I used to. Basically, I'm getting better, and I plan to keep moving forward :)
So here we are, my return. There is a full length story in the works, but considering I've been away for so long, as well as the fact that the story will get pretty dark before the light emerges, I felt that writing and posting some happy, sweet little one-shots first would be the better option. It's also my way of proving to myself that I can still write and produce a decent piece of work, rather than jump in at the deep end and attempt to write a full length story that may end up turning out terrible (for those who followed my stories before I removed them, 'You Found Me' is a perfect example of that)
So without further ado, here is 'Homemade Love Videos'. I'm still not 100% certain I'm happy with the title, but it was the best one out of the list I came up with. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
To those of you who wrote to me in my absence, I've seen your messages (I will write back soon, I promise), and your kind words don't go unnoticed, so thank you. Thanks for sticking around, and not giving up on me. This one's for you.
Special thanks also go out to Matthew, Mats, Caitlyn, Lucas, and Wenonah. You guys know who you are. You're the best friends anyone could ever ask for. You guys are like family to me, and I love you all more than words can ever say. Your continued support and faith in me keeps me going. Thank you.
And last, but certainly not least, Joel Birch (who will probably never see this unfortunately). My number one hero in the whole wide world. I had the honour of finally meeting you this year, and it was the best moment of my life. Thank you for everything you said and did that day, I'll never forget it. I love you; you're the constant light that shines through in the darkness of my mind. Thank you for saving my life.
Alright, here we go.
'I can't believe I'm actually doing this,' Jade thought, as she hit the record button on her video camera's remote. She couldn't think of a better way to do this, considering she was So. Fucking. Nervous. Face to face would have been way too hard; she probably would've thrown up or ran away, or both. So this was the solution, or so she hoped. Maybe she would fuck this up too, but at least with a video, she could re-record it a hundred times over if she needed to, until she got it right. In life, you can't do things over; you can't go back to the start and say what you meant. Thank God for technology. She also kinda hoped that by announcing it to the world, it would earn her a few extra points in the suave department. Or it would just make her look like an even bigger loser. Either way, she was doing this. There was no turning back now.
The raven-haired woman sat up straight in her armchair, and looked into the lens.
"Hey guys, it's been a while. For those of you who still follow these stupid videos, I apologise. I know I used to upload 'What I Hate' videos all the time, but lately, the only thing I really hate is myself, and somehow I don't think people would want to watch something as depressing as people talking about how much they hate themselves. Not even I would want to do that. So you're probably wondering, "Why is she making this video then, if she's not gonna talk about things that she hates?" Well..." Jade cleared her throat, her nerves going from a ten to an epic proportion. "I gotta confess, I'm actually making this video for personal reasons, more than for others' entertainment. I'm too much of a coward and a nervous wreck to do this directly to someone's face, so I figured this was a better way than any to get across my point. And this is why I hate myself. You see, there's something I need to get off my chest. Actually, it's something I've needed to get off of my chest for years, but I haven't had the courage, nor the strength to do this up until now. Actually, I still don't have the courage to be honest, but, you know..." She was stalling, and she knew it. She closed her eyes, summoning up the image of the whole reason she was making this video today. Piercing brown eyes. Smooth, tanned skin, complimented with beautiful brunette locks. A smile that could turn raindrops into sunshine. The voice of an angel.
Jade opened her eyes, a renewed strength burning within her. There was no more fear, no more anxiety. This was it. Do or die. The time was now. Once again, she looked directly into the lens of the camera, and spoke.
"Tori Vega, I'm coming for you. And I don't mean that in a "watch your back" or "you're gonna die in seven days" kinda way either. It's not a threat. It's not a warning shot. Actually, it's more like a promise. A weird kind of promise I guess, but a promise nonetheless." She took a deep breath before continuing.
"What I'm trying to say is, Tori, I'm in love with you. I have been for a long time, but I just didn't want to accept it back then, didn't want to admit to myself that I felt that way. So instead, I lied to everyone, to myself, and pretended that I hated you, that I had no interest in you whatsoever. I mean, is it even possible to really fall in love at first sight?To this day, I still don't believe it is, but I do know that I felt something when I first laid eyes on you." A small smile formed on the woman's lips. "Maybe that's what people mean when they say they fell in love with someone at first sight. Maybe it starts with a feeling that gets misinterpreted as love, but is merely just a strong attraction, or a feeling of connection. My belief, is that it only develops into love when you truly get to know the person; spend time with them, go through shit together, see the best and the worst of them. If you can still handle them after seeing every side of their personality, if you still want to be in their presence despite everything you've seen, good and bad, that's when you know you're truly in love with someone. I've seen you at your best Tori, at the Platinum Music Awards. God, did you make it shine that night. You were truly amazing, and I'm so glad I was there to be able to witness the true birth of a star. Seeing you at your worst?" Jade frowned. "There were a number of things that have happened that I would consider to be some of your worst moments. The time you thought you'd been kicked out of Hollywood Arts? Man that killed me, seeing you like that. Of course, at the time I acted like I was happy to see you go, but honestly, I was ready to commit murder. Then there was that time douchebag Daniels tried to fuck you over. I made him pay for that one, trust me. Though if I announce it on this video for all the world to see, I'd probably get into some serious shit, so maybe just ask me some day, if you want to know. But I'm getting off topic here."
"I love you, Tori, I really do. The more I try to pretend like I hate you, there more in love with you I become. I used to love Beck, he was the sweetest guy I knew, but once you came along, everything changed. He's the only one who knew how I felt about you. He's the one who came up with the idea that he and I stay together, until I was finally ready to come out, and tell you how I felt. When graduation came along and he told us that he was going back to Canada, that's when I knew I couldn't keep up the act much longer. I realise now that that was his way of pushing me forward, his way of helping me to tell you sooner rather than later. I owe him everything. He put up with so much just to help me come to terms with everything I was feeling towards you." Her eyes began to fill with tears as she remembered. "Now that he's gone, I feel better about things. Everything seems so much clearer. I still speak to him regularly, and the first thing he always asks me is, "have you told Tori yet?" The other day, he reminded me of just how long it's been since the day you first came to Hollywood Arts, and it made me realise just how much time I've wasted, when I could've been with you for a few years by now. I'm done fighting it. I want to be with you Tori, and I want to make up for all the times that I treated you like shit just so you didn't know how I felt. Through the good times and the bad, I want to be there. I want to be the one to catch you when you fall, put a smile on your face when you're down, hold you when you cry, kiss you when you're least expecting it. I want to be the one to put my jacket around your shoulders when you're cold and we're on a late night walk, and then hold your hand when we're running through the dark spaces between the street lights. I want to give you the best life you could possibly imagine, and I want to love you like you've never been loved before."
"So again, I'm coming for you Tori. I can only hope you don't run away from me."
Jade pressed the stop button on the remote, and sat back in her chair, letting out a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding.
'I did it,' she told herself. 'I really did it.'
'Now I just have to upload it and pray to God she sees it.'
'I love this movie so much,' Jade thought to herself as she sat in the living room, eating pizza that had gone mildly soggy because of her constant crying, watching The Notebook. Being in love had a funny way of making you watch the most romantic and tear-jerking movies you could find, and this one just happened to fit into both categories. Well, that and Titanic. She'd watched that one earlier, bawling her eyes out when the old couple cuddled up together in the bed and waited for the water to flood in and take them both as the ship was sinking. Now, watching Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams kissing in the rain, the tears were falling down her cheeks once again. What she wouldn't give to have something like that with Tori.
'If I'd know being in love would make you cry so much, I'd never have let myself fall for Tori in the first place.'
'Scratch that, yes I would have. She's worth it. And it's not always sad tears anyway; most of the time it's tears of joy.'
'My God I've gotten soft over the years.'
A sudden knock at the door snapped the dark-haired woman from her thoughts. 'Who the hell could that be?' Jade paused the film, walking towards the door. Opening it, she froze when she saw who was standing in front of her.
"Tori..." she breathed.
Without a word, the half-latina pulled Jade towards her and smashed their lips together, pressing her body as close to the pale-skinned woman as possible. Jade, realising what was happening, snapped out of her daze and returned the kiss, cupping Tori's face in her hands. This was finally happening, she was really kissing her. She was kissing Tori fucking Vega, the girl of her dreams. And Tori was kissing her back! Hell, Tori kissed her first! And boy, did it feel amazing.
What happened next completely threw Jade off guard.
Tori broke the kiss, and then stepped back and slapped the raven-haired woman in the face.
"Okay Vega, you're giving me mixed signals here," Jade joked, trying to hide the fact that she was mentally freaking the fuck out right about now.
"I can't believe you didn't tell me sooner," Tori sighed, shaking her head, before pulling Jade into another heated kiss. This time, she slid the tip of her tongue along Jade's top lip, and then into her mouth, eliciting a small moan of pleasure from the dark-haired beauty. Jade pressed closer to her, gliding her own tongue along the half-latina's. She never wanted this moment to end, but of course, she knew it would have to eventually.
Once again, the kiss was broken, and the two women stood staring at each other for several moments, unsure of what to say. It was Jade who finally broke the silence.
"Tori..." she began.
"You don't need to say anything Jade," Tori cut in. She took out her phone, pressed a few buttons, and finally opened up a video. "Just watch this."
Jade took the phone from the brunette's hand, and pressed play on the screen.
The video began to play, and it showed Tori sitting on her bed, with tear stained cheeks, looking directly at the camera.
"My name is Tori Vega. Today, a video was posted by a woman, who confessed her love to me. Believe me, it took me by surprise too. No one has ever done that to me, in my entire life. Her name is Jade West, we were both students and classmates at Hollywood Arts, and now, I go to college with her. I don't normally make videos, but hers was so heartfelt, and so emotional, that I felt that it was only right to make a video in response to hers."
Jade's hands began to shake, and she leaned in closer to the phone as she watched the video-Tori move closer to the camera and smile.
"Jade, I know how hard it must have been for you to make that video and confess your feelings to not only me, but to the whole world as well. I know this because I've been going through the exact same thing ever since I met you too." Video-Tori took a deep breath. "The way I feel about you... I never knew it was possible to love someone so much. I hid my feelings though, thinking that you hated me. Little did I know that you were going through the same struggles that I was. When I saw your video today... I was so happy, so relieved. Finally, finally, I knew that you felt the same for me as I did for you. This is the best day of my life, and it's all thanks to you, Jadelyn West. I'm as in love with you as you are with me, though I'm pretty sure you'll argue that you love me more, because you don't like to lose." Video-Tori laughed, and Jade found herself laughing along with her.
"You haven't lost Jade. You've won, and I'm your prize. I love you, so much, and I'll always be yours, for as long as you want me."
"Forever," Jade whispered.
"I'm coming for you, Jade West. I'd never run from you. All I've ever wanted to do was run towards you. You can't scare me away that easily. I'm on my way, so you better be ready."
The video ended, and Jade looked across at Tori, with tears streaming down her cheeks.
"You... are the most... amazing woman... I have ever... had the privilege of knowing... in my entire life," she spoke through sobs. Tori smiled and took the woman's hand.
"Funny, I was about to say the exact same thing about you."
"I love you Tori," Jade whispered, wrapping her arms around the brunette's waist.
"And I love you," Tori answered, pulling the woman in for yet another kiss.
As Jade got lost in the warmth of the half-latina's mouth -and arms- once more, she felt her heart swell with love, joy, and pride. She'd taken the plunge; confessed her undying love and feelings, and she'd come out of it alive. It hadn't killed her. And she got the girl.
'This is so much better than the movies.'
This time, Jade was the one who broke the kiss. She hadn't wanted to, but she'd suddenly remembered something important. Not as important as Tori, but pretty damn important nonetheless. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, opening up her contacts list and scrolling. Tori looked at her curiously.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I've gotta tell Beck the good news," Jade answered, pressing the call button, and then putting it onto speakerphone. The phone rang twice, and then a friendly voice answered.
"Have you told her yet?"
Before Jade could open her mouth to answer, Tori spoke up.
"You bet your ass she did."
So there you have it. Hope you guys enjoyed it. Please let me know what you think, and if there's anything you'd like to see me write about in the future, leave it in the reviews, or send me a PM :)
Once again, I love you guys, and thank you for your support.