This came out recently and I just figured that what if Tigress had a hint of jealousy and resentment towards Musaki because he has everything? This is what I came up with and this is how she shows while reminiscing over the sparring match? Not how I put it, but...anyway...no flames on this one, please?
A Hidden Resentment
by: Terrell James
Bitter...envy...resentment...those are all the hidden feelings that Tigress had been feeling throughout most of her lifetime when Musaki came into the Jade Palace nearly 4 years ago. She chose not to show those things to him because of how he'll react to it and that he might consider being a burden to this whole situation and making him leave the palace forever. But she always felt a sense of jealousy deep inside of her towards him because he had a part of a good life in the first three years with his parents before Tai Lung took their lives away, but despite all of this tragedy, he managed to get through it all by the time he got older.
She always felt like he was more important to the other masters as well as herself and she had a lot of resentment towards him because he had everything in the past 4 years; friends, family, a happy and fulfilling life and a sense of being a kind-hearted person towards everyone...while she had nothing. Nothing but 20 years of suffering, loneliness and trying to prove herself being worthy of Shifu's love and praise which was never enough. But with Musaki...it was totally different.
Musaki had always been one to open up to anyone in the palace; Po, Shifu, Crane, Mantis, Monkey and even Viper and that he's not afraid to show any kinds of emotions towards him and he always felt loved and appreciated all the time and she was always distant from them while she would watch him get all the attention.
Millions of thoughts were running through her head like; why should Musaki have all the attention? Why should he get all the praise from Shifu? Why does everyone else look up to him? Why is he good enough? Why should he still be happy even after all the stuff he's been through in his life?
What does he have that she didn't have?
She felt a sense of jealousy and resentment towards Musaki and that it would be better off if she wanted his life.
But despite all of this, she had a level of respect for Musaki because of his fighting skills and how he wakes up everyday with a smile on his face and a loving spirit that never dies with his lighthearted attitude and positive outlook on life above every ounce of tragic stuff he's been through most of his life. She doesn't want to admit her jealousy towards him because it would mean that she might hurt Musaki's feelings never realizing how much her bitterness might affect him, but she knows that everything he's gone through, he can still smile at everything and it made her feel like she wants the same thing he has and wished that she would be him for a day.
She recalled a certain time that her hidden resentment was shown after he won the sparring match a few hours ago that lets her true colors get exposed in front of everyone...and it was something that she wishes she could've handled it differently.
5 hours ago...
Tigress kept her stance up, looking forward to strike Musaki down, all the while he was stoked up to let this battle happen yet keeping it cool as well. Both of them stared at each other as Tigress said, "You're going down, Saki!"
Musaki lets out a smile and said, "We'll see."
As Shifu snapped his finger, the battle started. Tigress immediately went head-first into Musaki, but he quickly dodged her way as she hit the ground. She got up and Musaki waved at her, forcing her to growl and just knock him out and she tackled him without warning by getting on his back and trying to take him down by a leg-swing kick and when she tried it again, he grabbd her leg, swung it around, threw her in the air then jumps up and kicks her in the face hard.
She falls down to the ground, but she gets up and tries to beat him down, hoping he'll lose. She wasn't about to give up that easily and let Musaki win this round yet again and she gave it her all by throwing out whatever she could to make him surrender and when she tried to knock him out, Musaki grabs her fist and then flips her down the ground as hard as he could.
She got up and she just knocked him out head-on, thinking that she won this round. She lets out a smirk, but unbeknownst to her...it didn't end. Everyone else stood there trying to say that she has a few seconds left until the battle's over totally unaware that Musaki was on top of the ceiling, swinging his entire body around and finally, when Tigress turns around, she sees Musaki doing his corkscrew move and kicked her through the hall and fell down on the ground.
Everyone was cheering for Musaki and they all congratulated him for that move he used and it impressed everyone...including Shifu, to which he was extremely well-please for Musaki's new skills and he said, "Well done, Musaki. Never have I ever seen anything like this before. It looks as though your training skills have been getting a whole lot better."
Musaki smiled at him, bowing him in utter respect over this and he said, "Thanks, master."
Tigress gets up and sees this happen and that really didn't go well with her as she watched him get praised and then, he went towards Tigress and he said, "Tigress...you should really never turn your back on an enemy. Also...you had only 20 seconds left before the match was over in which it was not completed."
Hearing those words made Tigress a little fumed that once again, she didn't live up to his expectations, then he also said, "You should really learn from Musaki."
That brought her to a full-blown rage when she heard that coming from him and then when Musaki came to her, he smiled and stuck out his hand and said, "Hey, good battle, huh?"
She couldn't take it anymore so she growled at him and Musaki could see that she's a little ticked off at him and as soon as he walks away, she then said to him, "Why should you get all the praise from Shifu and everyone else?"
Musaki was a little surprised to hear that come out of Tigress and he really didn't know what to respond to that and he only asked, "What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean. He obviously favors you." she said, in a cold tone.
Then, Musaki got confused over what she said about Shifu favoring him and he knows it's not the case, but that doesn't stop Tigress from assuming it and he said, "He doesn't favor me."
"LIAR!" she shouted.
Everyone turns around and she captured her attention and then, she said, "You think you can just take away everything that we have worked for and then make it all about you? How every sparring match I've done I always lost to you? Or...when everyone else likes you better than me when we're not training?"
"Tigress, enough already!" Po exclaimed.
"Stay out of this!" she shouted angrily.
Po quickly shuts himself up while he helplessly watched Tigress berately vent to Musaki and from the looks of it, the real Tigress showed up...and it does not look pretty.
"Everything in your life you've been through, you just smile about it like none of that matters to you? Why does everyone stick up their neck for you and never for me? It's always about you, you, you, you, you all day, every day! Po favors you, Shifu favors you and obviously my team...favors you! They stabbed me in back like they always do when they're around you!" Tigress shouted with so much anger coming out.
"Just a minute here, Tigress!" Viper shouted, obviously shocked by this assumption Tigress made.
"SHUT UP! I don't wanna hear it from you or any of you!" Tigress snarled.
Musaki looked extremely nervous about what he was gonna say and he said, "I never did any of those things to you. And you know I would never do anything to take away you've worked for 20 years-"
Tigress didn't want to hear anymore of what Musaki was gonna say and she said, "Save it! Nobody cares about you! We would be better off without you and it would be a better place if everything you have will be gone...just like you!"
Judging by her harsh words, Musaki definitely felt hurt by her words and just lowered his head down in shame while Tigress grew more pissed at any given moment and she said, "I don't care if you cry! We all hate you and I hate you as well because you will never amount to anything! Your parents would've been better off abandoning you because they know you're nothing!"
Then, Musaki slowly rose his head up and there were tears were coming out of his face and that made Tigress take a step back and see what her harsh words did to him. She looked completely horrified at the sight of Musaki crying in front of her and she could tell that she really hurt his feelings really hard. But before she even got a chance to speak or even apologize, Musaki backs away from her and immediately walks out of the training hall, crying.
"Musaki, come back! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!" Tigress exclaimed, but it was too late. He already left...feeling really hurt.
Everyone stared at him feeling completely sorry for him to endure something like that and after he left, everyone was staring at her with disapproving looks in their faces over her words that might've crushed Musaki's spirits and even Po felt completely disappointed by all of this as he shook his head in disgust and he walks off to comfort Musaki and everyone else followed suit as well and Shifu looked at her with an angry look on his face and he said, "You know I don't play favorites, Tigress. The fact that you think I favor him more than you...is not true at all."
Tigress felt guilty for what she had done to Musaki and that she shamed him on purpose and it definitely came at a huge cost as she looked at Shifu with the same disapproving look the others made at her and she said, "I'm sorry, Shifu. I didn't mean to say all of these things to him. I was just angry and..."
Shifu cut her off and he said, "You've said enough. I am really disappointed in you, Tigress. Not for your sparring, but for your harsh words that may affect him for the rest of his life."
Then, he walks off and the sound of the door closing meant that Tigress was alone again and all of those words she said to Musaki really got to her and she just got down on her knees and whispered, "What have I done?"
Because of her own petty feelings, she hurt Musaki's the most. She never meant to cause any emotional harm to him and hurt him deeply. She was just jealous and also resentful because of how Musaki lived his life post-parents death. If she would've bit her tongue before she had to say something off her chest, this blow-up wouldn't have happened.
But that was all she was feeling that time...jealous and resentful of Musaki.
Just then, she quietly walks over to Musaki's door, hoping to apologize to him after all the things she said, but she was worried that he might not forgive her after all the things she said or even shut her out completely like everyone else did. One way or another, she knew that she was a monster.
As she was about to knock on the door, she heard singing coming from the other room and it was from Musaki.
I don't wanna make this
Harder than I have to
This is how it has to be
There's so many things I want to say
But you just don't listen to me
I don't want to hurt you
You don't want to hurt me
I can't stand you
And you can't stand me
We can't rearrange
You can never change me
Say goodbye
Nothing I say could change your mind because
I can't stay
Tomorrow I'll be on my way
So don't expect to find me sleeping in my bed
'Cuz when you wake up
I won't be there
I won't be there
Tigress could tell that he was singing at her because of her heartless attitude towards him and how he feels as if she doesn't want him around at all and that one day, he might not take it anymore. She felt his pain and her own heart breaking in two the same way she shattered his as he kept singing on.
Everything I say
You find a way to make it
Sound like I was born just yesterday
Everything you taught me
Doesn't mean a thing
So I'm going my way
I don't want to hurt you
You don't want to hurt me
I can't stand you
And you can't stand me
We can't rearrange
You can never change me
Say goodbye
Nothing I say could change your mind because
I can't stay
Tomorrow I'll be on my way
So don't expect to find me sleeping in my bed
'Cuz when you wake up
I won't be there
I won't be there
Tigress thought that Musaki might actually do what she said; leave and never come back. She soon finds that her words came back to haunt her as she really didn't want him to leave because of her and she knew he hurt his feelings bad.
This is the last night
That I spend at home
And it won't take too long
For you to notice
Won't take long for you to find out
That I'm gone
I can't stay
Tomorrow I'll be on my way
So don't expect to find me sleeping in my bed
'Cuz when you wake up
I won't be there
I won't be there
I can't stay
Tomorrow I'll be on my way
So don't expect to find me sleeping in my bed
'Cuz when you wake up
I won't be there
I won't be there
After he was done, Tigress gently knocked on Musaki's door and soon enough, when Musaki answered, he lets out a big sigh as he couldn't stand to be around her thinking that she might rip his heart out yet again and he asked, "What do you want?"
"Musaki...I...I...I owe you an apology." Tigress answered, in a nervous tone.
Musaki stares at her like she didn't really mean what she said and he told her, "Why'd you say all these things to me? Am I really hogging all of your attention?"
She couldn't bring herself to admit her reason why she vented towards him because she was afraid that he would reject her apology and never want to speak to her again. She then finally told him, "I didn't mean all these things I said. I was just mad...and a little jealous of you."
Musaki widened his eyes after he heard her say that she was jealous of him and he asked, "You were jealous of me...the whole time?"
Tigress nodded her head in shame and then she added, "And I was also resentful towards you."
That surprised him the most when she told him that she had pent-up resentful feelings towards like like he really did something to her. He then asked, "Why? What did I do to make you feel that way?"
"You didn't do anything. It's just that...you have everything; you've got good friends, relatives, you have all the positive things happening in your life and you've been through tragedy and you kept your head up at whatever life's thrown at you. Most importantly...you've been loved. I don't have any of that and whenever I see you, it's like why does he have it good? Why couldn't it have happened to me? I should have all of these things instead of you." Tigress explained.
Musaki could tell that he got that answer and he didn't know she really felt that way for so long and he asked, "Why didn't you tell me this before?"
"I didn't know how and no one would understand me...for 20 whole years. I just want to be loved like you do." Tigress replied.
Musaki lets out a deep sigh and then tells her, "Look, you can't have what I have and I know I can't have what you have. You shouldn't feel this way just because I get all the attention. Sure, I've been through a lot, but because of you and everyone else, I've turned into the young person I am today. But it doesn't mean that I can make someone else jealous. And you shouldn't hold any bitterness or resentment towards me because it would lead into something that you can't get out of...self-destruction."
Tigress knew then and there that if she continued acting that way, she would risk losing the people she cares about and end up being what she would fear of becoming; a monster. She then told him, "I don't wanna hurt you in any way. I really shouldn't have earlier today."
"I gotta admit, you did hurt my feelings. I felt like my worst fear is coming true; being rejected by you guys...you especially because your anger makes me very scared and sometimes...a little unhappy like I'm not wanted here. I'm always afraid to come to you because of that and it made me feel like maybe I'm not good enough and that I'll never fit in. That's how I always felt when I first came in the palace after I was adopted, like I might make a mistake and that I'll be disowned. I kept that to myself for 4 years and it was easier for me to talk to someone else rather than you because...I know you'll think that I'll never belong here." Musaki said, in a sad tone.
Tigress felt his heart breaking as she reached out to give him a huge hug and she told him, "I didn't mean to make you unhappy and scared because of me and I don't want you to feel like you're not good enough because you are. I do want you here and I do want you to be happy here like everyone else does towards you. And I would never hurt you in any way because of me and even if you do have a problem, don't be afraid to come to me."
Musaki wasn't really sure about it, but she did sound really sincere and that she means well. He then responded, "I'm not sure if I want to...but I can try."
Tigress definitely felt like she wanted to reach out to him more and that her resentment towards him vanished when she saw him as a sad and scared person from inside and that her pent-up anger around him might be the reason for that and she felt like she wanted to make it up to him. She lets out a heavy sigh and said, "I'm sorry for blowing up at you earlier and saying all those things about you and your parents. That was very wrong of me and I should've had some self-control over this. It's just that you've been through a lot of things and you're still able to smile about it."
Musaki lets out a smile towards her and he said, "I just do. There's no instructions on how to be happy above tragedy and all this other stuff that happened. You have to always look at the bright side of things and that it will get better in the end. And it's okay. All is forgiven."
For Tigress, it felt like a few bricks have been lifted off of her and her jealousy and resentment for Musaki have melted away quickly, unaware that Master Shifu was watching this the whole time and for once, he did feel proud of her for that and he felt like she did the right thing to apologize for what had happened and he smiled at her as he went back to his room, letting them have their moment.
Not my best work, but...it's the best I could do. Forgive me if I made Tigress a little OOC. BTW, the song is 'I Won't Be There' from Simple Plan. Reand and review, please!