Bilbo was carving. He had borrowed the tools from Bofur and had been working for days, since the day after the battle. It gave him something to do and he had hoped it would stop him from thinking. Sometimes it did, sometimes the tears rolled down his face while he wasn't even thinking, let alone about that.
Other times, he couldn't stop thinking. Thorin giving him one of his rare smiles, Thorin making a joke with Dwalin. Fili and Kili laughing by the fireside. Thorin furrowing his brow as he tried to figure out the best course of action. And of course, Thorin running his hands over the gold, Thorin beside himself with rage at the demands of the elves and lake-men.
Bilbo carved. Symbols for the events in Thorin's life worked their way into the wood, winding and growing. Images of loyalty and cheer decorated the steles for Fili and Kili.
Sometimes, the images Thorin had conjured when he talked about how he wanted to rebuild Erebor rose in Bilbo's mind. He carved more furiously.
Bilbo had not seen much of Erebor. Before the battle, he had had other worries. Now, no worries could compare to reality and sight-seeing was furthest from his mind. He needed to finish the steles before the week was over. Afterwards, he would let Balin lead him around the parts of Erebor he hadn't seen yet. Thorin would have wanted him to.
Bofur occasionally came by with soup. Bilbo ate it mechanically and without tasting it. Bofur would sit by his side for a bit, squeeze his shoulder and tell him about the goings-on in the mountain. Bilbo could hear hammers ringing in the distance and sometimes, anger took hold of him. How dare they think of other things before Thorin was even in his cold stone casket! How dare they go on with their lives!
But they were working on the dream Thorin had nurtured for so long. He would have been happy about their diligent work. It was only Bilbo who couldn't bear the thought, who could see no joy in the mountain now that Thorin wasn't there to point out its wonders.
The other members of the Company came to visit Bilbo as well. Bifur brought him a flower and Bilbo woke from his misery long enough to wonder where he had found it at this time of year. Bifur sensed his question and gestured upwards before steeping his hands to form the summit of a mountain, at which he pointed. Ori later explained that the little red flowers bloomed on Erebor's summit all year round and that the dwarves called them Durin's stars. Bilbo decided to include them on the steles, although he had previously wanted to leave away the traditional flowers. It hadn't seemed fitting for dwarves.
Oin pleaded Bilbo to get some sleep, but although Bilbo was so weary he could have dropped then and there, he shook his head. Thorin had more than earned the respect of having a week-long carving watch, as had his nephews. Gloin fidgeted during his visits and Dori brought him tea, which Bilbo greatly appreciated. Ori cried, running his hands over the steles meant for his friends and adding a few runes himself.
Balin told Bilbo more about Thorin's life and Fili's and Kili's as well. Bilbo had asked him questions in order to get a more complete picture to carve on the steles and Balin was happy to oblige him. Bilbo felt the steles would still be woefully inadequate.
Dwalin was last to visit. He inspected the nearly finished steles carefully.
"Good work," he said, his voice cracking. He sat down beside Bilbo, his back turned to him.
Bilbo swallowed. He had never been close to Dwalin on the quest, but suddenly, he felt a strange kind of kinship to him. He had a feeling Dwalin hadn't started on the rebuilding of Erebor yet.
"So this is what hobbits do? Carve poles for their dead?" Dwalin said when he had regained control over his emotions again.
"Yes. We set their story into wood, so that all can remember it. Perhaps stone would be more fitting here, but it would take too long and I can only carve wood…"
"No, it's good," Dwalin paused, considering his next words. "We hold watch over our kin, making sure Mahal is moved to welcome them in his halls. The last night before the funeral, everyone who was close to them joins in. You have kept watch in your own way, but it would be right if you joined us at least for tonight."
Bilbo had known about the watch and Balin and several other members of the Company had asked him to join, but he had never felt up to seeing Thorin's, Fili's and Kili's motionless faces again. Not up till now.
"I will," Bilbo said solemnly. "These steles… usually the entire family carves them together and friends and neighbours will also contribute. I know this is not your tradition and none of this is as it should be. But well, most of the others have carved in their additions and I was wondering if you'd also want to…."
"Aye," Dwalin murmured. He examined the steles again, then took Bofur's carving knife and inscribed runes into the middle of Fili's and Kili's stele. Bilbo's knowledge of dwarvish runes was just enough to make out praises of courage and strength.
Dwalin took much longer to look at Thorin's stele. Finally, he chose a spot at the very base of the stele and with great care, carved in the runes of a word. Bilbo tried to make out the runes, but they gave no meaning he could understand.
"Thank you," Dwalin murmured and Bilbo was not quite sure whether he was talking to him.
After a moment, Dwalin got up. "Are you coming?"
Bilbo nodded.
"I'll help you carry them, if you like," Dwalin said as Bilbo got up.
Together, they carried the steles towards the chamber where the Company was keeping watch over their friends' bodies.