[ C o l o u r o f E m o t i o n ]

by splica

Summary: Axel and Roxas and the spectrum of feelings between them. AkuRoku one-shot.

Disclaimer: Weeeell, the ending would have gone to hell if I'd been in charge. Good job I wasn't right?

Rating: PG-13

Author's note: adding another fandom to my belt? Because I can't just write for one pair apparently...

[ g r e e n ]

Back when Roxas had been the new guy in the Organisation he'd followed him round for days. To begin with it'd been annoying. Of course it would've been – who needed a little lost sheep at their heels twenty-four-seven? It had got old fast and he'd been all too quick to tell the other about it.

"Look," he had said. "I know you don't know anything but I don't want you following me."

"I'm not following you," Roxas had replied, staring at him like he was idiot.

He'd been stumped. "Well...what are you doing then?"

"I'm going to places I like – you just happen to be in them."

And that was what. Well, in a matter of speaking.

[ y e l l o w ]

If anyone had asked he wouldn't have been able to tell them why he gave Roxas that damned flower. It was a small thing really, puny even. It had flopped in his hand when he'd held it out but Roxas had still taken it from him like it was a rare jewel or something.

He'd looked at it wide-eyed for a moment before looking at him. He'd almost laughed the guy had looked so awe-struck.

"Is this...for me?"

He'd scratched the back of his head because hell it was embarrassing and all, but then he'd already done it so he might as well get it over with so they could move on with their lives.

"Yeah. If you don't want it just throw it away or something." He'd said it with considerable ease but something inside of him had still warmed when Roxas had clasped the damn thing to his chest.

"No I'll...I'll keep it. Thanks."

And that had been that.

[ p u r p l e ]

They'd been put on a lot of missions together – more together than with anyone else actually. It was always 'Roxas and Axel' or 'Axel and Roxas' or 'those-two-idiots-who-keep-messing-up'. Axel didn't understand it really, how he always made mistakes around Roxas. He wanted…hell he wanted to impress him and how screwed up was that?

"Hey, pay attention!" Roxas had yelled once, swinging out his Keyblade and killing the Heartless that had been about to rip Axel's head off.

Axel had given the boy a sheepish grin, spinning his Chakram around and managing to catch two of the Heartless before looking around, seeking out where Roxas has placed himself. They'd been back-to-back, fighting together in almost perfect sync. He knew he should've been freaked out at how naturally they seem to fit but it just…it just worked.

"Hey, no problem! I know you've got my back," he'd said, grinning and sending out a Chakram again, destroying more Heartless. He'd been on fire that day; sure that nothing could go wrong.

"Yeah, just stop messing around and I won't have to help you so much," the words had been said seriously but there'd been a smile on his face and Axel had felt his heart lightening a bit. Well, it would've if he had a heart.

[ b l u e ]

When Roxas was upset Axel knew about it.

He couldn't tell you how he knew it, he just knew, like some small beacon in him was lighting up and spinning around giving out a warning. 'Hey, idiot, Roxas is not happy! Go do something about it!' So he always goes to find him, if only because the beacon is damn loud and he wants it to shut up.

The first time he found him in the Clock tower, which, really, he should've have guessed in the first place. It was Roxas's favourite place after all; he goes there to think of all things.

So Axel walked up and sat down next to him, legs dangling over the edge. It was a long way down but he always gets such a rush being up here. Like he could do anything. Say anything. Hell, maybe he just might one day, but he didn't that day.

He just sat down and turned to face the kid, "Hey Roxas, why so blue?"

The kid had shrugged, which really, was just like him. Being all serious and mature all the time. But still, at least he wasn't still a zombie. He had emotions; he can be angry, happy, nervous and sad. At that moment he was sad and Axel decided then that he was going to do whatever it took to change that.

"It's just...nothing much." Roxas had replied, and then he'd sighed, actually sighed and Axel had decided enough was enough.

He'd reached behind him to grab the ice cream he'd bought along and shoved it under Roxas's nose. "Here." He'd said, bestowing his gift on the boy.

Roxas had grabbed it, a small grin showing up on his face. "We haven't had a mission today though."

Axel had shrugged and leant back. "You're supposed to say 'thanks'," he'd reminded the boy, looking up at the sky and missing the look Roxas had given him in return.

"Thanks," the boy had finally said and Axel knew his blue day was over.

[ r e d ]

Roxas first kissed him at the Clock tower.

It caught even Axel by surprise at the time. He'd put it down to the fact that Roxas was just a sneaky little brat and the fact that they're friends and friends don't do that.

Except maybe he and Roxas do do it because it'd been nice, even if Axel was sure that he'd been blushing at the time and Roxas definitely had been and the whole thing was just hugely embarrassing except not, because whilst they were there it had been just the two of them and he'd had Roxas all to himself.

So Roxas had kissed him, and Axel, after a few minutes of shock, had kissed him back.

When they'd finally stopped for air Roxas had been smiling at him and Axel decided then that he can add another emotion that Roxas can feel. He can feel love. Maybe.

"Thanks," Roxas had told him. And then he'd left and Axel had stood there, just holding a finger to his lips and feeling absolutely staggered. All he knew at the end of it was that it's not supposed to go like that and Roxas will definitely pay for it one day. At that moment though he'd just relished the feeling of Roxas's lips against his own and he'd believed, just for a second, that he could feel his heart moving in his chest.

[ b l a c k ]

There is one truth that Axel will always believe.

Even when he fought Roxas, even when Roxas fought him and forgot him and then disappeared forever...he'll still love him.

Because he'll be damned before he goes back to the time before he had feelings. Because he won't let go of all that Roxas did for him. Because damn it he loved the stupid brat and he always will.

So he dies for him. For Sora, because even though he's not Roxas he still holds a piece of the brat inside of him. Roxas gave him feelings, made him feel like he had a heart for the first time in his lonely existence and even his half-death couldn't take that away.

Axel isn't sure when he decided that he'd rather die than give up that feeling but he did decide it, and he did die for it.

And he'll never regret it.

I wanted to see Roxas. He...was the only one I liked...he made me feel...like I had a heart. It's kind of...funny. You make me feel...the same...

I think I might just...love you...Roxas...

And it's that emotion he clings to when the darkness comes.

[ e n d ]