I'm new here. 1st time trying out my writing skills

so please be gentle.. positive criticism is welcomed. This is just a something floating around in my head & probably won't go past this chapter. A different storyline & a little more insight to what happened with Quinntana in "I Do."

I OWN NOTHING.. unfortunately.

Chapter 1

As I sit alone in my dorm & stared out of the window, I can't help but wonder. Wonder where she is, what she's doing, hell... how she's doing. It's been exactly 2 weeks since we've talked, texted, and since we had sex.

::Flashback::

It started off simple enough. Light flirting & sarcasm, two things we both have always had a knack for. From the moment we stepped into the church I noticed how sad she seemed. My best friend for so many years, the one everybody else thought was a complete bitch, was crumbling on the inside and no one knew except me. So I did what best friends do. I made it my mission to make sure she had an amazing night at Mr. Shue's non-wedding reception. Although, it wasn't the easiest thing to do when at every turn was the reason San was so hurt. Bram!

Britt had officially moved on with Sam & truly seemed happy. I always felt like out of anyone Brittany understood that underneath all that bitchiness Santana exuded that she was just a girl who wanted to be loved. That was until I realized I was that person for her. S & I have always had an interesting friendship. Loving her has never been easy, but it has always been worth it. She is the most loyal person I've ever met. She loved me even when I didn't love myself. So honestly it's the least I could do.

Maybe drinking wasn't the best idea. But even before we started drinking my feelings started to get the best of me. After she told me she wasn't so happy about being at the wedding & being stuck with me, I figured the only place to go was up. I also knew she wished she had a date instead. So I made sure to make her laugh, and always keep the focus on us... more specifically her. It was like a date but not. I didn't have to impress her or be someone I wasn't. She's seen all of me. The good, the bad, & the ugly. Most importantly we never have to be fake even if the truth hurts a little.

I noticed her demeanor changed when I told her how she was "killin' that dress." The banter went from bitchy to flirty. I was fine flirting with S. I mean look at her. She's beautiful. She's witty. She's sassy. She's talented. She knows who she is & what she wants even if sometimes she needs a little push, we all do. The night progressed & it was almost as if we were in our own little world. It was a really nice place to be actually.

Somewhere between slow dancing & giggles. I asked her did she want to go to the room I was staying in which thankfully was upstairs. She didn't hesitate to say yes. At that moment, it hit me like a ton of bricks. "It" being the seriousness of what could happen if we were alone, but I didn't detour from what was swimming around in my head. I sobered up at the thought that I actually really wanted... HER! Of course I wanted her. I always have.

We tripped out of the elevator in a fit of giggles as we walked tipsy down the hallway accidentally running into the wall as my body pressed against hers. I laughed enough harder realizing that maybe she was a little more drunk than me. I begin to think maybe when we get in the room we'll just shower & cuddle. Maybe I was the only one thinking of crossing the friendship line. I mean I've never known what I want or need. What makes this any different? Just a few months ago I was letting yet another man define me. But this felt different.. this felt right.

Every moment of what happened next will be permanently embedded in my mind.

"Quinn"

"Huh?" I was brought out of my thoughts back to reality by that raspy voice I've come to loathe and love over the years.

"You okay? You've been in the bathroom forever. I thought you fell in!" Santana said with a laugh that was somewhere between serious & mischievous. I opened the door and walked over to the bed where she was sitting on the edge.

"S, unzip my dress for me." I wondered if she noticed the change in my voice. The way my eyes had grown darker. The way my hands were shaking.

"If I didn't know any better Q, I'd think you were tryin..." as my dress dropped to the floor I turned around and cut her words off with a kiss. Our first kiss. It wasn't rushed or awkward. It was soft & sincere. I felt her stand up as I straighten up & she snaked her arms around me. Was this really happening was Santana Lopez pulling me into a kiss? The best kiss I've ever had in my life?! All of a sudden I'm light headed & she can sense it so she backs off. She still has her arms wrapped around me & she presses her forehead against mine. My breathing rigid, hers more even as she looked at me with a mix of questioning & longing. "Quinn... wha... what was that?"

"I... umm... I've wanted to do that for a really long time." I said shyly as I looked down at the carpet.

I felt one of her hands move from my back & to my chin forcing me ever so lightly to look up & into her eyes. "Hey..." she almost said in a whisper.

"Hey." I couldn't help but smirk at how sweet her dark chocolate eyes were.

"So maybe we should just take it slow. We've been drinking & as much as I love the sweet lady kisses I just shared with you Fabray. Being a lady lover isn't something you just jump into in a days time."

I backed up and away from her or I tried until she pulled me back in.

"That's not what I want you to do! I don't want things to get strange. Talk to me Q." Uh, I'd rather get slapped than talk about this, but if I can't tell her than who can I tell. "Santana, I always wondered how it would be to be with a woman. To be with you. You were my first crush. That's something I never thought I'd tell you. When I had sex with Puck it was because I was confused about my feelings for you & I thought my parents would hate me." I took a short pause to try to read her reaction. Shockingly she just stood there intent to listen.

"And then I got pregnant with Beth & everything changed. I was no longer my 1st priority so I put aside my feelings. Doesn't mean they changed. Then I started noticing the way we used to be was the way you were starting to become with Britt. I wanted to be jealous but I had no room. And when you came out I was so proud of you." I stepped back this time she didn't pull me in. I crossed my arms as she sat on the bed.

It seemed like hours before she spoke. "You were in love with me?" Her face almost looked like she was in pain. This isn't what I wanted to do. I didn't want to hurt her. I kneeled in front of her a little cold from just being in my bra & panties. I placed my hands on her cheeks wiping tears away. "Yes. I was in love with you. Santana... I have always loved you. That's the only thing I've ever really known for sure."

I was suddenly amazed by how bold I was being but if nothing the alcohol had made my inhibitions disappear.

"But who I was then and who I am now are two different people. I've never felt that way about any other female so I just assumed it was a phase or just me being curious. And tonight I just wanted you to be happy & not hurt." I said as she chucked.

"Well you sure know how to please a girl Quinne. Ask me to undress you & then make me cry." I slapped her shoulder playfully as I laughed back. She was lightening the mood. Like she always did. Granted, I had just dropped an emotional bomb in the middle of our friendship. I sat beside her. No words were said. She just slid her hand into mine as we sat in deafening silence. It was awhile before I noticed that she had parted my fingers & put hers between mine. I began to rub circles between her index & thumb like I used to whenever we'd hold hands in class or practice. It was our way of talking without words. She leaned in & kissed me on the cheek.

"What's that for?" I smiled at her.

"Thanks for being honest." She sounded like she was on the verge of tears again.

"You're welcome."

I got up and told her I was going to take a shower. She just nodded. I grabbed a few things before retreating to the bathroom. The water was hot & felt amazing. It felt like I was washing all of the stress of the day away. Until I realized I had left my shampoo in my bag. I left the shower running and stepped out slightly drying myself off & wrapping the towel around me. As I opened the door my eyes were met by Santana's. "Stay calm Quinn. You've seen Santana's boobs a million times. Omg am I staring?" I looked back up to notice a cocky grin.

"See something you like Q?" She asked with one eyebrow raised. She is evil.

"Um I forgot my shampoo." I rushed to my bag and rummaged through it when I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Do you mind if I borrow a t-shirt to sleep in? I'll worry about my "walk of shame" tomorrow in my dress tomorrow." I threw a Yale shirt at her.

"You know it's only a walk of shame if you have sex." I stated as I walked back to the shower. As I closed the door I heard her say "I know."

I took my time in the shower. Wondering what she meant when she said I know, over thinking the night, and almost praying she'd be asleep. I turned the shower off, dried off, then threw on my t-shirt, & shorts. I opened the door to a dark room & San in bed. Sleep? Maybe not... possibly just wanted to avoid what just happened. Either way I was slightly relieved. I turned the bathroom light & got in bed. I laid down & slowly started to doze off. I woke up shortly after that slowly noticing Santana wasn't asleep. Her breathing was too fast & she was moving. I opened my eyes & tried to steady my breathing as I stared at the wall. What is she doing? Should I turn over? What if she's crying again. And then it came... a breathy moan barely audible. Instantly I was wet. I wasn't sure what to do. What should I do?