Sixteen Things Bella Will Not Miss About Being Human (With Commentary by Rhi ;) )
Sleeping. Why waste valuable Edward time? But let's not go into details…She can dream about Edweirdo not being stubborn and over protective.
Hiccups. What the hell is the point of hiccups? They have plagued mankind since the dawning of the sun. And for what? An embarrassing noise when you're in public and trying to act cool. Hiccups hurt. Some dude had them for 65 years, oucheez.
Going to the bathroom. Let's face it, it is an inconvenience. Necessary, but oh so annoying. I have nothing to say on this comment.
PMS and that whole shebang. See above. But once again, let's not go into details. Again, no comment.
Eating. Again, this is a necessary but tedious part of human life that takes up far too much time and is likely to make you ill (and fat) around Christmas and Easter. It can also lead to weight gain, which Bella probably always wished to avoid, for reasons known only to her… and every other girl on the planet that isn't Rosalie. Or a vampire. Cos that's just the way they roll, lol.
Okay, do vampires need showers? They smell gorgeous anyway, but they must get covered in mud, dirty water and various other impurities just like us humans. It's never been mentioned in the books, so may or may not be relevant to this list. Either way, it's something to ask Stephenie Meyer if you ever meet her. They do in ff, but that's ff.
Moisturising. She and the other Cullen kids must be the only teenagers in the universe not to be bothered by spots. Or sweating, or greasy hair. Does she need to moisturise anyway. She seems to cry a lot. That should keep her face nice and moist. =)
Lack of social skills. Bella will always be socially awkward, but at least now guys will come up to her because she looks like a supermodel. Said guys will also be crushed when they find out she is married, but the fact is, Bella will never be ignored when she is out in public. Whether or not Edward growls at the guys is an entirely different matter, though. It'll be embarrassed Bella, now with no blush!
Oversleeping. If you can't sleep, you can't oversleep. Simple. I like oversleeping, I have insomnia.
Being vampire is a proper excuse for not going to Jacksonville to see Renée and Phil. Before, she just didn't like going because she never got a tan, just sunburn. Now, she sparkles. OOH SPARKLYYYYY!
Breathing. A sense of smell is very helpful, but breathing is loud and embarrassing, especially when you are in a room with vampires who have superb hearing. They breathe too, just very, very, very quietly.
We all already know this one, but Bella will be eternally grateful (literally) that vampires have balance. Emmett will just have to trip her up.
Blushing. We also all know why this is, even though Edward found it kinda cute. So did Emmett. Emmett find it very, very funny, like me.
If she ever wants to beat up Emmett, she can. Easily. Before, she had to be content with blushing. Emmett won't go down without a fight y'know?
Food shopping. Not as much fun as clothes shopping, but Bella never liked that either….. It's tedious and boring. SNORE!
Cooking. She'd rather be with Edward. Again. She'll just have to watch Charlie's house burn then.