Quite……
So very quite…..
But how? How can it be so quite?
The beds made. The house is clean, not a light through out anywhere but where I sit.
At my desk.
The lights like a pool of life, the only thing warning me that im alive.
How odd, usually I have music playing…or something…
But theres not even a noise.
Text.
It lays before my eyes, but I cant take any of it in.
Why not?
My thoughts. There clouding my thoughts.
Why? Cause…there all about him.
The damn kid….why cant I stop thinking about him?
Finally sound fills the air, a sigh.
There's another long pause.
but not for long…..
soon the silence is cut with many noises.
A loud knock, the jingle of the handle.
A bang as the door hits the wall.
That only ment one thing.
He was here….
I stood and walked out into the hallway, and casually walked into the sitting room, where the front door was.
Sure enough, he was there.
His eyes were a gentle red, his body shaking.
Even the tan skin couldn't hid the marks that covered his body.
The ripped clothes….
Bruised body….
Tainted soul….
Broken heart.
Why did he always look like this?
I step forward, and he ran to me, burying his face in my chest.
Without words, I wrap my arms around him gently, softly stroking his hair.
It was always so soft….his skin was always so warm….he was so fragil…
Why? Why must he be so fragil, and so abused?
Its not fair, its not right.
But there are other things not right here.
Like the fact that he goes back to that monster, instead of staying with me.
I love him, he needs me.
Why cant he see this man wasn't good for him?
My teeth sink into my lip, stopping my own tears.
Damn it….
I love you….stop acting like you don't know
To prove my point, I tilted that fragil face up, and gently kiss those tender lips, his salty tears smearing onto my own face.
Every time, it happens like this.
It ends the same way……
My arms slid down his back, pulling his body against mine, gently kissing his neck, getting soft noises of pleaser in return.
Everytime…he forgets where he is, whom he is.
All he wants is love…..
So I shall give it to him. cause that's who I am, a giver.
He's my prince, and im his knight, whom I must protect.
This night will end the same, in sin.
Then he will return, get caught, and it will repeat.
Why? Why/ WHY?!?!!?
…just make it stop……..
all I wanted was to love him! why am I being punished!
This is cruel! This is unfair! Screw you god! Screw all the heavens!
Your harm this boy….why?
Its not fair!! Fuck everything!!!
All I want is to keep him safe, to hold him….but every time, when that damn sun rises he's ripped form my arms!!
WHY?!?!
……………….i only want to love him…..in the way he deserves to be……