Fathers and Sons

by otherrealmwriter

Professor Membrane and Dib were always distant, and they never saw things the same way when it came to the normal and paranormal, but just how did they see their relationships? Told as a series of first person journal entries over various episodes. Written for the forum Writers Anonymous Alternate Format Challenge.

I don't own Invader Zim okay? This fic is for Writer's Anonymous's challenge to write in alternate format and upon doing a little thinking, this kind of came to mind. Not to mention, I love to just show the dysfunction in the Dib and Professor Membrane relationship. Many of the dates used are the original release dates of the episodes. ;) But not all of them and the order works to build to the climax, so don't flip out. This is fan-fiction so get over it. Well here goes nothing, and on with the fic! .

Professor Membrane's entries dated like this

Dib's entries dated like this

Entry log Date: 30th March, 2001

My son has been on the roof listening for interstellar signals. It has been the first time I had been home in months that wasn't Christmas or the annual family night. There is no way Dib is an idiot. He excels in his studies. The report cards show it. Socially, he is not the best, but that happens when you are a genius. I should know. You are isolated from everyone because of it. I wonder if this isolation came from his studying insane things or the insane studies came from the isolation. Further observation will prove this hypothesis and further evaluations need to be performed on Dib to determine just why he feels the way he does. I cannot have any creation of mine becoming a failure. The toast I made was just not impressive enough. It needs to be more... Super.

March 30th 2001

I heard something! I really did! I am ecstatic. But not too ecstatic. It sounded like there was an alien convention planing an Invasion. To Earth! Why would I make something like that up? Dad says I am insane and looking for attention. As if. I get enough at school. Not like I would want though. I just get wedgied and picked on anyway. But they will see that I am right! I want to be the one that catches that alien and proves to everyone that I am right for once! Then no one will call me crazy ever again! I will show Dad right.

April 2nd 2001

He's here! An alien! In my actual class! Maybe he was part of that invading force that was supposed to have left that transmission the other night! I wonder how far away his people are from Earth and if they are a very far way away, then how did he get here so fast? If he wasn't trying to destroy the planet, there would be so much that I want to know. And Dad will finally believe me about this when I show him an unconscious alien life form! Good thing I keep those alien sleep cuffs on me at all times. One must always be prepared to save the Earth!

Entry log Date: 15 April 2001

Dib came down to my home lab asking for my nanoship, saying an alien was in his guts and trying to destroy his brain. My son can be so creative. Maybe I should take him to a creative writing class. There is a useful outlet for his para-science. Maybe I should have not read him Jules Verne's The War of the Worlds as a child. I do not know for certain but I think it left an impression on him that lasted to this day. It will take further observation but I do think that paranormal stories told to him as a child have left an impression on him to this day. Maybe I should have paid more attention to him. But science has to come first and I have a feeling that Dib will make great contributions to science if I just lead him enough.

April 15th 2001

Geesh! You would think that Dad would care more about his own son saying something was destroying his guts! I mean after all the spasms and Zim making me destroy my disk where I recorded him without his disguise, Gaz did defeat Zim's nanobot and he got flushed out into the sewer system but still. Even if you didn't believe in aliens, any respectable father would be concerned that something is ruining the guts of their only son! I would think you would want to make sure he's okay! I think Dad just thought I was making it up to get ahold of his nanobot technology!

Entry log Date: 21 April 2001

The lab is finally cleaned up after that explosion. I thought those scientists at my lab could handle getting the mixture right after I told them specifically how to do it! I hired them myself and I don't hire idiots. These were the top scientists in their field and they got a simple mixture all wrong and wrong enough to cause a massive explosion. If only I wasn't forced to attend that Parent Teacher Night for the children's Skool. I know now that my full attention was needed for that experiment, not to listen to Mr. Elliot go on about how Gaz is an unusually angry child for her age. I do have to have a word with Miss Bitters about Dib's understanding of the word alien. I saw his little foreign friend and while he does seem to have an unusual skin condition, I do wonder if Dib knows that alien doesn't always mean extraterrestrial.

April 21st 2001

So, how is it that people will not notice two pathetic robot parents fly though the windows and away from the cafeteria after River-dancing, with the robo-dad missing an arm, throwing sparks through the air but I throw a cup of punch down in frustration and suddenly everyone sees me? What is wrong with people? Not only did Dad mistake my meaning of "alien" to mean "foreigner" but he is going to get a call from the school about how I run around throwing punch on the floor. Then I will get a nice lecture about how I am just so misdirected and crazy and I need to move on and try new things and not be so intolerant. How can people be so oblivious to things right in front of their faces!?

Entry log Date: 4 May 2001

There was an interesting happening in my studio today. A young boy ran in to my dressing room backstage and said I needed to sign his paper for the sake of all man kind. He did kind of remind me of Dib a little bit. Maybe I should introduce them if I ever meet that boy again. I felt so sorry for that boy, I just had to sign his paper and give him my autograph. Maybe his parents never really paid attention to him that much.

May 4th 2001

What kind of Dad doesn't recognize his own son? I mean yeah I was still wearing that gear from that weird Thunderdome thing for the tryout to get into the audience of his show, but still, I would think he would recognize me or my voice! And it was really weird having to find out all of those things about Dad from his autobiography like that. He would tell the world his first poop but he won't hardly talk to Gaz and me? She did have a good point though. Staff entrance. Why didn't I think of that? I was lucky enough to get the Swollen Eyeballs to reschedule the event without me having to try and hunt Dad down for another signed permission slip. Funny. Security said they would call my parents or legal guardian (He put a lot of emphasis on that one) if they caught me stalking "the Professor" again. I would tell them to call his labs and find out how awkward that one would get. But then again it would probably be awkward for me.

Entry log date: 17 May 2001

My son was such a little darling in the labs today. Sold an entire box of candy without really trying. He's got my charm that one. I could talk anybody into anything when I was his age. That boy has so much potential, if he would focus on reality and not just made up stories. I cannot believe that he said he was trying to shame an alien visitor from another country to my workers in the lab. It was so embarrassing. But I was able to say he was just playing with a classmate of his and that it was just a friendly competition. They bought bar after bar to help him out. Although I don't think any of them are going to be really eaten. I did read the warning and it said the candy was made entirely of sawdust. Now that is a real mystery I have to solve. Why would they make candy out of sawdust to have kids sell?

May 17th 2001

Beating Zim is going to be so easy. All I have do is prowl around and people will buy these candy bars off me. Probably because I am the boss's son. (At least they see that...) I can't see why anyone would want to eat this dirt in a wrapper. One of the guys at Dad's lab bought it off me to see if he could destroy it with hydrochloric acid just to study food products better. Funny.

Entry log date: 25 May 2001

Why would Dib not be home in time for family night? He does know this is the one day a year I get off to spend with him and Gaz like a normal family. It is so very rare we have these precious moments together. I hardly recognize Dib and Gaz each year as they get older. Well Gaz just called and let me know that she has Dib from his friend's house and is going to meet me at Bloaty's Pizza Hog. I must be off. As brilliant a man as I am, I do have a soft spot for pizza, even if it is loaded up with chemicals. I am only human after all. But this better be quick. I have to discover a cure at 9:30

May 25 2001

I never got the point of family night anyway, I mean why is Dad interesting in spending time with us and working at the same time. You would think he would have noticed me strapped up to a hoverboard and made Gaz unstrap me. Or ask about us more, or just not work. I mean we could have spent until closing at Bloaty's and tried to bond or something. I would love to talk to Dad about Zim. He's got access to so much that could stop him. Maybe I have to get it so that it seems a lot like his kind of thing. Just ask about things that might pertain to what he calls "real science..." I don't know, this just isn't as special as it was once.

Entry log date 1 June 2001

I am so proud that it is finished. PEG is done and I will unveil it to the world tonight. And my son and daughter will be right by my side. After all I invented this for them. The future can be powered by just perpetual energy, no fuel ever needed and those working to produce the fuel will never have to waste their talents on such meaningless labor ever again. This will change the whole world forever, much more than my Supertoast! Although I think my legal department is cursing my existence for it. I don't know, I never pay that much attention to them.

June 1st 2001

Dad is going to be on TV and we are going to be on TV with him! Although no one at Skool seemed to care that he was my dad. Ah well, it's just nice to be a part of Dad's work now and again. But of course I have got to stop Zim. I mean it is just too obvious he is going to sabotage Dad's generator. Why would he have to say that messing with it would cause a wave of doom for all life on Earth? I mean even for human enemies. I think he doesn't know what he is doing half the time.

Entry log date 2 June 2001

If they don't want it, fine! Throw an ice cream cone at my work! Shoot a robotic eye of my son up at my feet! Forget them! No power for them! They don't want to respect my brilliance, they won't profit from it. Let those fools have to pay for power and eventually have all the fuel they rely on it disappear. See what happens. I gave them a way out but they did not take it. I don't want to hear it when that day comes because I will have PEG powering my own labs. If there is one good thing that has seemed to come from this is that when I observe Dib and Gaz, they are finally getting along. He is even helping her with things she needs and is being so nice to her for a change.

June 5th 2001

This is getting tiring, it really is. How long can a monkey keep beating me over the head like this? Seriously? I mean I did stop Zim from blowing up PEG, that was good, and learned I am apparently incredibly boring but I should have been more aware of what that Dib robot was saying. I mean if I had listened to the mannerisms and slang that Zim broke through with, I would have known it was a trap to begin with. I couldn't tell that "Yes, yes it will be magical." wasn't something I would normally say? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! And does no one come to this part of the warehouse? I have been here for nearly four days and the only life forms that have come in are a few mice. Hasn't Dad noticed that I haven't been home for four days? Then again, knowing my luck, Gaz took the robot Dib home and Dad thinks that is me. Not that he would notice anything out of the ordinary by the behavior of the robot. Not like he really cares.

October 31st 2001

Horrible, flashes keep coming into my mind. I was using Dad's equipment the other night to test some of my theories and get some good costume ideas, I mean last year's vampire outfit is getting old fast and I just didn't know what to do. I know what I did was kinda stupid but still. I didn't think this would happen. With all the craziness of what has been going on I haven't kept as good a journal as I should, but I do need to write this down. I have to find out what is going on and need to find a way to reverse the effect before these jumps get longer and I get stuck. But once again, 'I'm crazy and full of lies.' They are waiting for me there and I need to write this down if I get stuck so people will know I am trapped in a nightmare world. Gaz, keep an eye on Zim for me and try to stop anything he does. Dad, why don't you seem to even want to test my theories if you are so sure you are right? Wouldn't you think that disproving the paranormal would get me into Real Science like you want?

Entry log Date October 31st 2001

So, I find him here. I guess it was only a matter of time. That boy raised the dead to ask about ghosts. I don't get the logic on that one. He said there was a ninja ghost in our toilet. Once again, sounds too farfetched to believe. Maybe I should have intervened sooner. Now that I am called here to the Crazy House for Boys to observe the proceedings as many say this is a new kind of crazy never heard of before. But still, my own son. I did not raise him to be like this. A spawn of my own would never do that. Although I am still in an argument with a few of the workers at the Crazy House for Boys about if it is all nature or nurture, if one goes crazy. Must be some faulty DNA in there somewhere. I instructed him to do better than he did. I cultivated his powerful brain to be used for the powers of science, just like me. I warned him against that "para-science" and he is here. I don't know what to say else to him.

November 1st 2001

That nightmare world was my imagination? Maybe I really am crazy? Most of the monsters in there looked like nothing I had ever seen before, although I could make out a few of the reject kids looking pretty normal in one of the cages in the background. But the demon, as I have no better word for it, versions of Dad and Gaz? Maybe I should seek some help. Maybe I am doing things all wrong. Although if not for Zim, I would have been trapped in there forever. I have a lot of thinking to do after that horror show.

Entry log date 5 November 2001

The day has finally come! My son has decided to follow in my footsteps and join me in the study of REAL SCIENCE! I am just so proud of him. Already he is making progress and helping me with my research more than any other assistant I ever had. I mean this is my greatest dream come true and I feel I have finally done something right as a father. I must comment to the doctors at the Crazy House for Boys as they must have done something to make my dear beloved son see the light and get him off that para-science. My laser cyborg kitten is a success too, but I could not feel more successful than this moment right now.

November 12th 2001

I have been helping Dad and it is going pretty well. Tons of math. Not like I am not good at it or anything, but still. Dad did seem to like the blood and coffee bean thing, said something about the legal department but I don't care. That was the biggest rush I have gotten all week actually. No, this is better. Although a vampire donut... how could that be possible...? NO! That's in the past and how I got myself into trouble. Dad loves what I am doing now. Gaz is acting a little funny. Why does she keep teasing me about that donut... forget it... have to forget it... Dad and I have that magazine interview tomorrow with Super Science Quarterly.

Entry log date 23 November 2001

Dib has been working well, at first at least. I know he is still pretty young and won't be on my level for at least another 10 years at least after he has graduated college, but for a child as brilliant as him, that should be no trouble whatsoever. But still, I must pay more attention as to not let him go astray again.

November 23rd 2001

This is pretty interesting, but still it is getting a little boring. Where is the adrenaline rush? No, cannot think about that. Dad is proud. But at what cost to me? I mean Zim hasn't been in Skool for a while now. But why should I care? This is confusing. I think GIR has even been trying to communicate to me about Zim. Why would they care? I mean without me they would conquer the planet. That doesn't seem right. Oh well, Sine here it goes...

Entry log date 25 November 2001

WHERE DID I GO WRONG? I hope I didn't damage my impressive brain after that episode I had. You can still see the bruise from where I hit my head on the lab table repeatedly, and the materials they are made from are very strong. But still, WHERE DID I GO WRONG? He was lured back into the para-sciences. That cosine mistake was a tell, but what did I do? He said he felt empty, like this wasn't him. What did I do? Where did I lose him? Why would Gaz care at all when she was annoyed by his antics too? She said all was right with the universe now but it is not! It just cannot be! I don't fail! This just cannot be and I cannot take this for what he said. We were a great team but this cannot be! My poor insane son!

November 25th 2001

Trying to win Dad was just not making me happy. I could not stand it. How he does, I don't know. It's all too boring. No adventure, nothing revolutionary, despite what he says about it. I didn't feel like me. I just felt like a clone of Dad doing that work with him. Sure I loved the acceptance from Dad but it wasn't worth it. If he can't understand that the paranormal is legit science that just hasn't been approved by people like the likes of him, that is his problem. I couldn't imagine my life living in his shadow. Don't feel sorry for me, because I don't. I know my true calling. The world is back to how it should be. Now I have to go find out what Zim is up to. I never felt so alive.

So how was that? Good? Bad? Long? I know it was longer than what I usually do but this was a challenge and I figured that this would be good for it. Let's just say towards the end "Numb" by Linkin Park and "Shadow" by Ashlee Simpson helped get me get those last few ones down. And if you want to make fun of my musical muse you stink. But long story short, remember to read (well you just did) and to review. Ciao for now,

Otherrealmwriter

aka

Realm