*Disclaimer*: None of the characters taken from Buffy belongs to me. Stu
does, but that doesn't mean I have to like him ;)
--- In your dreams ---
Giles winced and opened his eyes. What was that? A clattering noise sounded from the living-room – not exactly a good sign in the middle of the night, especially if one lived in Sunnydale.
He took his glasses from the bedside table, put them on and was about to grab a small axe that he kept in the bedroom when he remembered that he had a lodger who was most likely responsible for his disturbed night's sleep.
He sighed, but nevertheless stood up and took the axe. Even if it had been Spike, scaring him a little certainly would help showing him who the master of the house was.
He sneaked into the living-room and switched on the light. The result was a loud yell, followed by an angry, "bloody hell! Can't you warn me?" Spike was standing next to the couch, covering his eyes with both hands.
"Oh, I'm awfully sorry", Giles replied in a not very sympathetic voice. "May I ask what you have been doing?"
"Trying to adjust to your strange living habits." Spike paused and gave him a sharp glance. "I was sleeping", he then explained.
"And what was that noise?" Giles wanted to know.
Spike silently pointed at a spot behind the sofa.
Giles lifted his axe and carefully walked around the furniture until he could see an apparently human figure lying on the ground. It was a young man with black hair, who was sleeping, unconscious – or dead.
"What did you do to him?" The axe dangerously glistened in the moonlight that fell through the window.
"Hey, cool down. I didn't do anything, old man. He was like that when I woke up."
Giles raised an eyebrow, but did not reply. Instead, he went closer to the person on the ground and scrutinized him. There were no marks on his throat, and at a closer look, he was breathing calmly. The Watcher relaxed. "So you don't have any idea how he got inside?"
Spike shrugged and went to the fridge to get some blood. When he returned, he saw Giles leaning over the unconscious man, patting his cheeks. He grinned and shook his head.
"Oh please. You don't think you'll wake him up this way, do you? Step aside." He bent down, took the young man by his shoulders and shook him fiercely. "Hey chap! Get up, come on!"
Giles frowned, but the drastic measures showed effect: Spike's victim opened his eyes – and started to scream. In order to stop his hysterical fit, Spike slapped his face without thinking, and the punishment followed immediately.
Giles sat down on the couch and buried his face in his hands. On the ground, both men had curled up and yelled in pain or panic. It was pathetic. What had he done to deserve this?
* * *
Shortly before sunrise, Buffy arrived first with Willow. They glanced at the closed blinds, then at Spike, who was grimly staring at somebody they had never seen before.
"What is it?" Buffy wanted to know. "You said it wasn't – anything scary, so what's up?"
"You aren't real, either", the stranger murmured before Giles could reply.
Buffy hesitated, then turned to him. "I do feel quite real. And you are?"
"Probably going crazy."
"That's possible, but I asked for your name."
"Stuart Travis. My friends call me Stu. And I have no idea why I'm telling you this."
"Because I'm not real."
"Right."
Buffy sighed and looked at Giles. "Explanation?"
Spike grinned and sipped on a cup of blood. "This bloke thinks he's landed in some movie dimension."
"TV show. This is a freaking TV show, and I would really like to wake up now." The man seemed quite desperate, but Buffy couldn't help laughing.
"A TV show? What's it called? Living in Hell's Mouth?"
"Not really. It's Buffy the Vampire Slayer."
Everybody burst out laughing, and even Giles grinned.
"So I'm the hero, cool", Buffy replied.
"Well, it's not exactly a one-woman show, you know. There's your Watcher", he nodded towards Giles, "your witch friend and the rest of the gang – Xander, Anya, Tara and Dawn."
Buffy stopped short, and Spike's grin faded. "Xander and Anya? Hey, you're good. But who are Tara and Dawn?"
"Do you remember the girl from school?" Willow threw in. "Tara. She's a witch, too."
"Okay, but I still don't know a Dawn."
"Dawn? Your sister?" Stu insisted.
"Nice try, but I don't have a sister." Buffy's voice had gotten somewhat cool.
"You don't have – oh wait, which season is this?"
"Season?" Buffy grabbed a chair and sat down, and so did Willow.
"Er, what's the most recent weird thing that happened to you?"
Buffy gestured her to be silent, but Willow replied. "Well, there was this strange thing going on – nobody seemed to be able to speak, and –"
"The Gentlemen."
They all looked up in surprise. Stu was starting to show some knowledge that even an average Sunnydale citizen couldn't possibly have.
"We should do some research", Giles suddenly said.
"Now you're talking", Stu answered in relief. "I'm coming with you."
"No, you're not", Giles replied. "You will stay here with Spike. Spike, tell Xander and Anya to come to the school. Buffy, Willow –"
He grabbed his jacket and a few old books and marched towards the door, and Buffy and Willow followed him.
When the door had closed behind them, Stu looked at Spike in anticipation. "So, what are we gonna do now?"
"*We* are not doing anything. You sit down and keep your mouth shut. If I hear a single word, I will rip out your bowels, blow them up and make a few nice balloon animals."
"No, you won't. Billy." Stu gave him an arrogant grin. "Do you think I don't know about your little – handicap?"
"I had hoped you didn't", Spike growled.
"Looks like you can't even keep me from leaving the house. See, if I just walk out", he stood up and moved toward the door, "all you can do is watch."
Spike tried to block his way, but Stu pushed him aside. "You should take cover", he advised.
Spike hesitated. "Why?"
Stu shrugged and opened the door wide. "Sun's up."
As the sunlight fell on his face and started to burn it, Spike yelled in agony and dived behind the sofa. Even there, the light was intense enough not to let him think of anything else but his skin peeling off and his flesh being scorched away.
Stu chuckled. "Being a vampire can suck, can't it?" He went outside and left the door open.
Spike crouched behind the sofa, covering his face with a pillow, when he heard voices approaching. He recognized Xander and, most of all, Anya, who had followed Giles' call.
"Close the bloody door, goddammit", he groaned.
"Spike?" Anya did as he had said, and the couple walked through the living- room looking for the vampire. They found him on the floor, trying to reattach a piece of skin to his face.
"Yuk", was Anya's comment.
"What happened here?" Xander inquired. "Where are the others?"
"Yes, I'm fine. Thanks for asking", Spike said sarcastically. "They went to do some research. On the guy who did this to me, I might add."
"A demon?" Anya asked hopefully.
"Nope. Just a regular madman for all I know. You still might want to find him. He knows pretty much about us – more than I'd like him to know."
"So I guess we're supposed to join the others at the school?" Xander asked.
"Yes. Oh, and when you leave, let me first – ow!" Spike winced and dropped to the ground once again when Xander opened the door. When they were gone, he sighed. "Let me first get out of the way", he finished his sentence. "Better hope I'll never get this chip removed. Ouch."
* * *
In the library, the familiar scenery of piled up books and manuscripts expected Anya and Xander. Somewhere underneath, they heard Giles' murmur, and Buffy and Willow were talking silently.
"Hi there", Xander greeted them. "So what have we got? Spike said there was a lunatic on the loose?"
"On the loose?" Buffy asked.
"Yes, we found Spike all well-done, and there was nobody else around."
"Idiot. We shouldn't have let him look after that guy."
"Is he anything like – dangerous?"
"Stu? I don't think so. He thinks he's in a TV show or something. The only thing that got us puzzled was that he seems to know a whole lot about us. Giles is trying to find out what's going on."
"A TV show?" Xander repeated, ignoring the rest of what Buffy had said.
Willow giggled. "Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Not bad, uh?"
"And I had hoped for 'Everybody loves Xander'", he grinned. "But why research on, you know, magic and stuff? You don't seriously believe him, do you?"
"Anything is possible", Giles' voice sounded, and an instant later, his face appeared from behind a book.
"He's right", Anya confirmed. "I've seen quite a few dimensions, and many creatures that do exist in one dimension have become myths in others. Hey, some even appear as nightmares, or-"
"Thank you, Anya", Giles interrupted her. "But this time, I think he is either crazy or pretending. What I am trying to find out is how he got into my apartment, and how he was able to gather so much information about us."
"Maybe he's been stalking you", Willow suggested, looking at Buffy. "I mean, he thinks you're the hero."
Buffy smiled. "If he wasn't all insane, I wouldn't really mind. He was kind of cute."
Willow gave her a half reproachful look. "What about Riley?"
"Let's just say there's something standing between us, and I don't really understand what this something is. But hey, I wasn't talking about Riley or any relationship for that matter. I just said this Stu was cute. Have you seen his eyes? They were like – so blue, wow."
Xander cleared his throat. "Er, I don't really mean to interrupt your little drooling session, but even though I haven't seen this guy yet, I've seen Spike, or what was left of him. It's not like I cared or anything, but don't you think your Stu doesn't really care much about what happens to us?"
Willow nodded. "He thinks we're not real."
"Now this is strange", Giles suddenly said.
"What is it?" Buffy asked.
"This manuscript actually mentions the existence of tale dimensions."
"Which are – what?"
"The causality is not completely clear, but it appears that for most stories that have ever been written down, or even only told, dimensions exist where these stories are real, where they happen."
"You mean, all fairy tales, legends and myths somewhere have a real-life equivalent?"
"If we're to believe this writing, even the latest Grisham novel has its own dimension", Giles said gloomily.
"Scary", Willow commented. She thought for a moment, then continued, "You said something about causality. Does that mean nobody knows what came first – the chicken or the egg?"
"Pretty much so, indeed."
"Now that's something I find scary", Xander said. "Are you telling me that we can never know if we're just people from a story somebody accidentally wrote down?"
"Or filmed", Giles confirmed. "Or, as we don't know what came first, for some reason somebody just made a TV show of what we experienced before. But this is all grey theory."
"Wow", Willow said. "Just imagine – we might be TV show characters, but even if somebody is watching the show, this someone might be a character from a book, too, and so on. How weird is that?"
"Too weird for me." Xander shrugged off the thought. "Let's talk about something different. What about this Stu guy now? I think we should find him. I mean, if he's crazy, which I hope, who knows what he might be doing to himself or non-existent people like us right now?"
"I agree", Giles said. "Buffy should patrol tonight. Perhaps you find our 'friend' – if you do, please be careful."
Buffy smiled. "Hey, I'm the Slayer. Don't worry, I'll be fine. He didn't exactly seem like your average demon, and I think I'll get along with a regular guy."
* * *
Stu marvelled as he walked down the road. This was exactly like he had always imagined. Sunnydale with all its wonders seemed to have come true for him. And he hadn't even started to realize how he had got here.
He had always been a fan of the show, since the very beginning. Well, actually it had been Sarah Michelle Gellar who he was taken with. And even more actually, it had rather been the character of Buffy. Oh yes, he could draw a distinction between a TV show and real life, cartoon-like characters and actors. But wow, if he had been able to spend some time in Sunnydale, meet Buffy, maybe impress her somehow, this would have been a dream come true.
And this was pretty much what he had thought last night right before falling asleep after yet another unofficial Buffy convention. About one hundred so-called fans who chatted about recent episodes and the developing story, but failed to sense the depth of the Slayer's character, a well- drawn picture of hopes, fears and emotion that almost made her real.
This morning, she apparently had become real for him. He had checked repeatedly whether he was dreaming, but he felt more awake than ever before.
But right now, something felt strange. It was an emotion that he soon identified as fear. The sun was setting.
But why should he be afraid of the dark, even in Sunnydale? He had seen every single episode more than only a few times, and he knew every evil creature in the Buffyverse by name, knew how to destroy them.
He decided to prepare for patrol. After all, he knew what to do, and saving Buffy's life when she got into trouble seemed much more heroic to him than just showing up at her room in the dorms.
He started collecting everything he could use for a stake, plus a heavy iron bar that he could hardly lift, although he worked out regularly, and at his 6'1" was pretty well-built. When he was finished, he felt ready for any dark creature that might cross his path.
That is, until he finally met his first dark creature.
It was a vampire, a simple, stupid vampire, he thought when his throat was clenched by an enormously strong and foul-smelling hand. He fumbled for his stakes, but they all seemed to be gone.
Just when the vampire grinned at him and presented his long, shiny and way too sharp teeth, a bright, familiar voice sounded from behind him.
"Excuse me?"
The vampire turned around, and the brutish joy in his eyes was replaced by sheer panic. "Slayer", he hissed and let go of Stu.
"Correct. Now for the next question, you can still call a friend. Oh, you don't have any friends? Bad for you." Stu hadn't even seen her move, but in the next instant, the vampire turned to dust, and in front of him stood the object of his dreams. "Hi Stu."
"Ah", was all he could reply.
"You okay?"
"Hmm." He nodded. Darn, this wasn't what he had planned. Shouldn't he have saved her, not the other way round? But then again, Buffy wasn't just a regular girl. Maybe she liked saving her guys, maybe maternal instinct was what turned her on.
"Really?"
She liked him, he was almost certain now. "Yes, I'm fine. Just a little shaken." He allowed himself to sway a little, but not too much. Buffy didn't like wimps.
She shook her head, came towards him and pulled his t-shirt straight. "What are you doing out here in the middle of the night?" She looked at some stakes that had fallen to the ground. "Don't tell me you're hunting vampires?"
"Actually I am. I, er, I don't know what made me, though. I think I just wanted to help."
"Well, you can help yourself if you stay inside at night. Which reminds me – where do you live? I should take you home."
"I told you: I don't think I'm from your dimension, world or whatever you want to call it. Until yesterday, all this was just a TV show for me."
"Right, the show." Buffy thought for a moment. "You know what? We'll go to Giles' place. He seems to have founded a shelter for stranded characters. And he might have come up with something new concerning your – and our – situation."
"So he did some research?"
"Yes, but it'll be better if he tells you." Buffy turned away and started to walk out of the dark alley, but then she stopped. "Did you really do that to Spike?" she asked. "I mean, congrats if you did, but he'll be quite pissed."
"So what?" Stu grinned. "He could try and stare me to death."
"True." Buffy smiled. "You don't like him, do you?"
Stu shook his head. "Not exactly." After all, Spike was the one who would sooner or later end up being together with her, and being the 'evil, disgusting thing' – how he loved that quote – that he was, he simply didn't deserve to.
"Any special reason?" Buffy carefully inquired. "I mean, is there anything I should know?"
Stu's heart started to pound. She believed him! Or at least, she felt that he knew more than she did. Either way, this was perfect. Advantage Stu, he thought.
"I don't really know if I can tell you", he drawled. "I mean, I just don't get along with this dimension thing. What if I tell you something you're not supposed to know. There could be consequences like in Back to the Future, you know, like people vanishing and stuff."
"Listen", Buffy said seriously. "If we're in danger because of him, and you know, you have to tell me. Please."
"Okay", he said, feigning reluctance. "Just don't trust this guy. That chip in his head doesn't make him an angel, if you get the point. He won't change. You might think he will because somebody else did, but he won't. He'll remain evil, and he'll try to make you believe that he wants to help you and your friends, but he'll betray you when you least expect him to. Don't trust him, that's all I can tell you."
Buffy had winced when he mentioned Angel's name. Good – she seemed to have understood the message.
"Fine", she said. "Didn't like him from the start." She looked a bit puzzled, but didn't say more.
* * *
They arrived at Giles' apartment, where he was reading an obviously ancient book. Spike was watching TV and darted to the door when it opened.
"You little –" he started, but Buffy's fist stopped his rage, and another punch sent him to the ground.
He slowly lifted his head. "What was that for?" he asked.
"Shut up", she snapped at him.
"But – he started", Spike tried to defend himself.
Buffy drew a stake out of her pocket. "Another word, and it's goodbye to the world, Spike. Now shut up, sit down and don't move until I tell you to."
Spike opened his mouth as if to say something, but decided it would be healthier to remain silent. Quietly, he sat down, wondering what he might have done wrong again.
Stu had almost burst out laughing. Wow! This was way cooler than he had pictured. He looked at Spike. Loser, he thought.
Giles had put down his book. "What happened?" he asked with a sidelong glance at Spike, whose face was still burned and now also showed marks where Buffy had hit him. She really had not restrained herself.
"Oh, nothing." She paused. "Except that I found Stu, of course."
"Good. I think." Giles stood up. "I'm afraid I haven't found out much more than we had earlier today."
"Which doesn't really help us a lot."
"Well, I hoped to find out by talking to Mr. Travis. Let's sit down first." He walked to the couch where Spike was sitting.
"Spike – kitchen", Buffy said, and he stood up and walked out, a little faster than necessary.
They sat down. "So, Stuart, are you certain that you know us and this whole town from a TV show?" Giles asked.
"Damn sure, Sir", Stu replied. "If you want to test me, I know everything that you know."
"Well, you have proven that at least you know us. But it won't be of much use to ask you certain questions. There is still the possibility that you might have found information on us in many other ways, including magic."
Stu laughed briefly. "Magic. No offense, but where I come from, magic isn't exactly practiced very often. I mean, real magic."
"Same here", Buffy replied with a smile. "We just happen to be a weird bunch of people living in a weird place."
Stu smiled back at her. Boy, was she beautiful.
"So is there anything that might have caused your changing dimensions? Because this is our only theory until now. Or at least the only one that we found written down." Giles took off his glasses as if to clean them, but then put them back on. "Did anything unusual happen to you? Have you had contact with strange people, artefacts or other ancient or magical objects?"
"Strange people?" He thought of the convention. "Yes, but they're not likely to have anything to do with magic."
"How about objects? Crystals maybe, or a charm?" Buffy asked.
"Not really. Oh, wait – I bought this little thingy, but I think it's not even real silver." He reached for his neck, but didn't find what he was looking for. "It's gone."
"What was it?" Giles wanted to know.
"Just a pendant on a leather string. Nothing special. I bought it on that convention I went to yesterday because it looked kinda cool."
"Can you draw it? I would like to see if I can find anything about it." Giles stood up and went to his desk to get paper and a pencil.
While Stu tried to recall what the pendant had looked like, and scribbled a picture that clearly showed his lack of talent, Buffy moved a little closer.
"Do you think you might have lost it when you were attacked?" she asked.
Stu felt the warmth of her breath. "Yes, maybe", he said.
"Well then, perhaps we should go look for it", she suggested.
Giles noticed a certain atmosphere which he didn't consider very useful for their efforts. He cleared his throat. "Perhaps Mr. Travis should stay here", he said. "Even with you looking after him, he will be safer here. You can go and search that pendant, Buffy."
Buffy drew a face. "Okay. But if Stu stays, Spike must move out."
"Why's that?"
"Let's just say my trust in Spike is very limited. I don't think Stu would be completely safe here if Spike was around. So either Spike leaves, or I'll take Stu with me."
Giles frowned at Buffy's sudden outburst of rejection towards Spike. Nobody liked him, true, but this was strange.
"Very well, so I'll tell Spike to move out for tonight, or until we found a solution to Stuart's problem."
"No need to tell me." Spike had been eavesdropping from the kitchen. "I'm out. Thanks for the hospitality." He went outside, giving Stu a sharp glance, and slammed the door shut.
"I'm glad he's gone", Stu sighed.
"So am I", said Buffy, but there was something in her voice that only Giles noticed. It sounded like she was not perfectly comfortable. "Well then", she continued. "I'm off. I'll see if I can find your pendant, and spend the rest of the night on patrol. See ya! Bye Giles!"
"Goodbye, Buffy." Giles glanced at Stu once more and then went to get a blanket for him.
* * *
When the door bell rang, Xander uttered a disappointed moan. He and Anya had just snuggled up to each other, and this had been a promising start for a very nice night.
Which he could now forget, he realized as he opened the door and looked into Spike's face. "Oh no", he said and closed the door again. In the same instant, Spike started to pound at the wood.
"Come on, let me in", sounded his muffled voice.
"No way. You're staying with Giles."
"He threw me out for Stu." Even through the closed door, the disgust in his voice was audible.
"Stu's back?"
"Yes. Now would you please let me in? I don't exactly feel safe out here."
Xander laughed but opened the door. "You don't feel safe outside? Well, I'd feel safer if you stayed outside."
Spike ignored his answer and slipped past him.
Anya had sat up in bed and now stood up, wearing something that was just a little too – little with Spike around. Xander frowned, but Spike didn't even look at her. Instead, he dropped on the couch and let out a frustrated groan.
"So what about this Stu guy?", Xander inquired.
"What about him? Everybody seems to love him, and he made Giles kick me out and Buffy treat me like dirt. I mean, she did that before, but this is different."
"Not that I pity you or anything, but did you think this guy was strange?"
"Strange? More than that. He just smelled weird. Didn't like it."
"Alright, so we agree for once."
"You haven't even seen him."
"I know, but there was something about Buffy when she talked about him. She seemed to like him, and something just didn't seem right."
"A spell?"
"Don't know."
"You guys are kidding, right?" This was Anya. "He might come from a different dimension, but I think you're overreacting. He knows as much about magic as Xander knows about Acquadian Hops."
"Acquadian what?"
"See?"
"Yeah, whatever. Guess you'll stay here for the night. You know the routine." Xander pointed at the chair he had tied Spike to a few days ago.
"You can't be serious", Spike complained. Minutes later, he was again tied to the chair, hardly able to move.
"And don't you start yapping all night again", Xander warned him.
"Why should I."
* * *
In the next morning, Xander, Anya, Willow and Buffy arrived at Giles' together.
"Look what I found", said Buffy after she had greeted Giles. She held up a pendant that was hanging from a torn string of leather.
"That's the one", Stu said, and Giles took the little piece of metal.
"No, it's not silver", he said after a few seconds, "but iron charms can be very powerful."
While he started to examine the pendant and leaf through several books, Buffy introduced Xander and Anya to Stu. Xander tried not to look too suspicious, but the strange feeling remained.
After a while, Giles looked up. "I may have found something."
"So what is it?" Buffy asked.
"It actually might be a charm. But this text is not being very precise. It says that there is a certain amount of different magical objects to be found all over the world, even in several dimensions, which work only at a special time, on a special occasion, or for a certain person."
"That's not exactly new", Willow commented. "This is true for a lot of magical objects."
"Yes, but these seem to be of the same making. What it doesn't say here is who or what created them, and for what purpose."
"So if we sum up what we've got, Stu bought this charm, and either because it was the right place, time, or person, the charm suddenly started to do its work", Buffy concluded.
"Right. What we don't know is why it brought him here. Was it the pendant's given purpose, or did the owner influence what happened?" Giles gave Stu an asking look.
"I think what we all want to know is if you wished to get here", Xander added when Stu didn't say anything.
"Maybe I did. Does that matter?"
"Well, it might be a way for you to get back home", Giles explained.
"Oh, right." Stu hesitated. "So you think if I just wish to get home, it'll take me back the same way it brought me here?"
"Why don't you just try?" Xander suggested.
"Right." Slowly, Stu took the pendant, but Buffy took his hand.
"Wait." She hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks for stopping by", she said. "Of all our unusual guests, you've been one of the more pleasant."
"I take this as a compliment", Stu smiled. "Well then, let's go." He closed his eyes. Go home? No way! This was getting better and better, so why should he want to leave? After a few seconds, he opened his eyes again and tried to look disappointed. "I think it doesn't work."
"What if this was a one-way ticket?" Buffy asked in concern.
"It shouldn't", Giles replied. "This kind of charm usually works both ways. But perhaps we have been following the wrong trace. It might still only be a simple pendant with no magical powers at all."
"Which again leaves us wondering how Stu was brought here", Buffy sighed. "You know what? We'll leave paper work to the others, and I'll show you around as long as you have the opportunity."
She took Stu by the hand and dragged him behind her.
"Chicken, egg. Chicken, egg. Egg, chicken", Xander murmured when they were gone.
"Are you alright?" Willow asked.
"Doesn't anyone of you ever think about the whole TV show thing? I don't know about you, but the thought of being a fictional character scares the crap out of me."
"Thinking's the word", Willow replied. "Cogito ergo sum, that's my motto. You shouldn't worry too much."
"What worries me right now is that some mad author might get the idea to write me out of the show."
* * *
"Sunnydale is more exciting at night, but definitely more beautiful by daylight", Buffy smiled.
"So are you", Stu replied.
Buffy hesitated. "Well – thank you."
They walked in silence for a while, then she continued. "So what about this TV show? I mean, disregarding the fact that none of us feels exceptionally fictional, what's it about? What happened until now, and what's going to happen? It sounded like you've seen more – episodes than we've lived through." She paused. "This is so weird."
"It all started when you learned that you're the Slayer", Stu explained.
"That's certainly the moment when my life became interesting", Buffy smiled. "It's kind of a relief, too. I do have memories from before then."
"And we get to see mostly major events. You know, big, ugly creatures, end of the world, important things."
"How about, you know, relationships?"
"Well, that too."
"Oh." Another pause. "Do you think this is gonna be on TV, too?"
"Nah. Not exciting enough. More talk and research than anything else."
"I'm getting a feeling that you have somewhat wrong ideas of what we're doing all day." She smiled again. He couldn't get enough of it.
"But as for future events, I really don't want to tell you", he said. "But until now, it always ended well."
"Good to know."
Know? Hey, he knew everything that was going to happen. And he posessed a charm that obviously had fulfilled one of his wishes before. Didn't that make him one of the most powerful persons around? He had to find out if the pendant could do more for him. And there was one thing he had been thinking about ever since he had first seen Buffy.
"Stu?"
"Yes?"
"Please, don't be mad with me."
"For what?"
"For this." She put her arms around his neck and kissed him. On his lips!
His head was spinning. It worked. It actually worked! He could do anything, wish for everything that he wanted. In this world, he was God.
* * *
"So? What happened?"
Xander gasped for air when Spike seized him by his shirt as soon as he had entered the apartment. "Hey, let go. So far, nothing happened." Spike released him. "Unless, of course, you count the little fact that Buffy seems to have a crush on Stu."
"What?"
"Yeah – she took him out for a little walk today. But why do you care?"
"You're right. I don't give a thing. But we still should think about a way to get rid of him."
"Get what? Hey, listen. So far, he hasn't done anything bad."
"Except for burning me."
"I somehow liked that."
"A real hoot, wasn't it?" A cold glint appeared in Spike's eyes.
"Anyway, what are you going to do? You can't kill him off, and I won't."
"All I'm asking you for is to keep an eye on him. I'll follow him at night."
"Fine with me."
They briefly shook hands as if to confirm a deal.
* * *
On the next morning, Xander arrived in the library. Giles was already working, but except for Willow, nobody else was there.
"Where's Buffy?" he asked.
"Out with Stu again", Willow replied. "But look, we found something new." She pointed at a heap of paper.
Xander glanced at it and sighed. "Could you just give me the summary?"
"Okay. There are 21 magical objects of different kinds, all created by Rhiannon, the goddess of joy and oblivion."
"Sounds nice."
"And she was the queen of Hell."
"That's less nice."
"What she did was to create these charms and give them the power to – well, this is unclear. Rhiannon brought dreams to people, so the spell might be either sending somebody into a dream, or making a dream come true, no matter how."
"I suppose we prefer the dream-come-true option?"
"We do." Willow nodded. "Combining this with the existence of tale dimensions that Giles explained yesterday, Stu must have bought this pendant, which for some reason worked for him. His wish was to actually live in a world that he only knew from a TV show –"
"Is that sick, or what?"
"And so he was sent here."
"I couldn't have explained it better", Giles said. He had finished browsing through books and now sat down at the table. "The question is why it didn't send him back when he wished for it."
"Maybe he didn't", Xander speculated.
"What do you mean?" Willow asked.
"Hey, just look at him – this must be the coolest experience this guy's ever had. Plus, Buffy seems to like him, and he didn't exactly seem too sad about it. What if he wants to stay?"
"I don't see why this should be bad", Willow said.
"Maybe not for him – but how about us? There's something strange about him – and he seemed to know what's gonna happen next. I don't like the thought of him always being one step ahead of us."
"He shouldn't stay here, you're right", Giles agreed. "Not because he might use his knowledge for dark purposes, but because crossing dimensions never really ends well. There are too many perils along the way."
"But how do we get him home if he doesn't want to?" Willow wanted to know.
Giles shrugged. "This charm was equipped with a powerful spell. It might just be beyond our limits to break it."
A broad grin spread on Xander's face. "I take it that this means we have to make him want to go home."
"But how are we supposed to do that?" Willow asked.
"I know someone who'll be more than willing to help."
* * *
Willow stood up from her bed when Buffy and Stu entered. "Hey guys."
"Hi Wil. What's up?"
"Giles just called. He said there was something going on at the city hall. I think it was something about a two-headed monster fighting a bunch of vampires."
"Great. Let them kill each others, and we'll have a quiet night." Buffy dropped her handbag and opened the fridge.
"I think it's not that easy", Willow contradicted, a trace of panic in her voice. "Whoever survives will probably stay for dinner."
"You're right. I'll have a look at this. Can I leave Stu in your capable hands?"
"Sure."
"Okay. You guys have fun, I'll be right back." Buffy grabbed her handbag and a small dagger and rushed outside.
"So what are we –" Willow started to ask when suddenly the phone rang. She picked up the receiver. "Hello? Hey Xander! No, it's Willow. No, she just went to the city hall. They've got some monster thingy going on, with – Spike did what? We'll be right there." She hung up and looked at Stu.
"What is it?"
"I don't know. Looks like Spike is playing havoc with Xander's apartment. Is that anything you've – seen before?"
"No, that's new. But what are we supposed to do?"
"No idea, but we have to do something. Let's go!" She dashed off, and Stu followed, uttering a resigned sigh.
* * *
They arrived at Xander's apartment in the exact moment that the door was torn out of its hinges. Spike was standing in the frame, heavily breathing. "What are you doing here?"
"We, uh, just dropped by. Wanted to say hello", Willow improvised.
"Well, hello. And – goodbye!" Spike lifted up the door and hurled it at them, and they quickly dropped to the ground.
Stu was the first to get on his feet again. "What are you doing, Billy? You know you can't harm us."
"Ya think? Come on in, have a look." Spike vanished in the darkness inside the apartment, and Stu and Willow followed.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Willow asked in a scared voice.
"Don't worry." Stu tried to sound masculine, but in the next instant wondered who he was trying to impress here. "He's showing off, that's all. With that chip in his head, he's as harmless as a kitten."
"I hope you're right", she answered.
When they entered the living-room, it looked like it had been decorated by a crazy interior designer from a hell dimension. Furniture was lying upside down, and, as Willow realized in awe, even inside out. Everything that could possibly be torn out of place had been scattered all over the room. If it hadn't been a place of destruction, she would have applauded.
"So", Spike's voice sounded from a dark corner. "Have you come to stop me? You might just be a little late."
"Where's Xander?" Willow asked. "Is he alright?"
"Oh, he was more than alright. Quite delicious, I'd say." He pointed at something lying beside him on the ground, and what had looked like a bundle of clothes now turned out to be Xander. He wasn't moving.
"That's impossible. This is a trick. You can't harm people. Not with that chip in your head." Stu's words did not sound as convinced as they were supposed to.
"Always the same old story. Don't you bore yourself sometimes?" Spike took a few steps towards Stu and realized with satisfaction that he shrunk from him. "Well, let's just assume somebody entered this dimension. Somebody in possession of a charm. One which is not the only one of its kind." He held up a small object that glistened in the dim light. "I think I may have to thank you. Without you, I'd never have found this wonderful little thing that apparently has some strange powers. Hell, I wouldn't even have had the idea to look for it."
"You're lying."
"Oh yeah?" Spike stepped out of the shadow, and Stu could see blood dripping from his mouth. His teeth glistened red. "Would you like to find out? Or maybe I'll take li'l Willow first. I've never had a witch before."
"Stop it!"
"Or what?" Spike slowly went towards them. He looked at Willow who swallowed dryly, and bowed over her neck. He sniffed twice. "How I missed that."
"Do something", Willow said to Stu with tears in her eyes.
"I'm trying", he replied. He closed his eyes. The charm had worked twice, so chances were good it would work again. If only Spike would drop dead! Or if at least the chip would start working again. Something had to happen now, or they would be doomed.
"What do you think?" Spike interrupted his racing thoughts. "Wouldn't she make a nice vampire?" His teeth were hovering only inches from Willow's throat. Then he dug them into her.
Stu yelled as a few drops of blood ran down her neck, and she went limp in Spike's grasp. It hadn't worked. Something was going awry here. He tried to wish Buffy to appear, but nothing happened.
When Spike dropped Willow and turned to him, Stu realized that he had just missed the chance to cut and run.
The vampire grinned, and Stu could have sworn he was amusing himself. "Now for you." Spike scrutinized him. "Well-built and healthy. I like that kind." Stu backed up until the wall stopped him. Spike was now as close to him as he could get, and he could smell blood. Real blood. It had never looked so real on TV.
This wasn't worth it. If there was any chance to get out of here, he'd take it. Even though Buffy had been more attractive and kinder than he'd ever expected, he still preferred to be alone but alive.
Suddenly, the surrounding started to become – two-dimensional. He couldn't quite explain it, but everything seemed less real than in the instant before. The smell of blood was gone, and Spike didn't seem as threatening as he just had. Finally, the charm worked.
The last thing Stu thought before he was catapulted back into his own dimension was that if the charm was only good for interdimensional travel, her kiss, her affection towards him, had been real. As real as it could get.
* * *
Spike looked up as something happened with Stu. He seemed so far away, so unreal. This had to be the moment. Stu had wished to get home. Spike quickly lifted his hand, and before Stu vanished completely, he tore the pendant from his neck.
"You're not coming back, pal", he growled.
Seconds later, it was over. Stu was gone, and all that was left of him was the pendant Spike was holding. Spike released his breath.
"Okay, you can get up." He turned around, and Xander sat up, but Willow didn't move. "Wil?" He kneeled down beside her. "You all right? Willow!"
Suddenly, she opened her eyes. "Boo."
Spike winced. "Bloody – why did you do that?"
Willow smiled. "That was for nearly grazing my skin."
"Well, I'm sorry. He was too close. It had to look real."
"But did it have to smell real? And stick real? I would've taken ketchup", Xander complained.
"It had to be real blood. Had to create a little atmosphere here. You wanted me to get rid of him, I got rid of him. You got what you asked for, so stop whining. Catch!" He tossed the pendant to Xander. "You might want to give it to Buffy."
He turned on his heel and went outside.
"Hey, aren't you gonna clean up this mess?" Xander shouted after him, but the only reply was a harsh laugh. "I knew it", Xander hissed.
"Hey, take it easy", Willow said. "It worked. We did it."
"Yeah, we did." Xander grinned. "We're not bad, are we?"
* * *
When Buffy arrived at the city hall, everything was quiet. She didn't sense any trace of danger, either, but nevertheless circled the building and had a look inside. No signs of a fight, no monster, no vampires. It was a calm, peaceful night.
* * *
When she arrived at her and Willow's room, Willow was already waiting – alone.
"Where's Stu?" she asked.
"He left."
"What? Why? You mean, he left, like – left?"
"Yes. He's gone. But he asked me to give you this." She held up the pendant. "He thought it might remind you of him."
"Thanks." Buffy looked at the shiny object on her palm, then opened a drawer of her bedside table and dropped it inside.
"Aren't you gonna wear it?"
"No, I –" Buffy paused. "I don't think I will."
"Why?"
"Don't know. He was kind of unreal. Maybe it's not us. Maybe he was a person from a story who just happened to get into our dimension."
"Now that's a thought."
Buffy didn't listen to her anymore. She was already sitting on her bed, brooding over her own thoughts. "Probably he didn't belong here. And maybe not everything of what he thought he knew was right."
"What do you mean?"
Buffy looked up. "What? Oh, nothing. Just a thought."
--- In your dreams ---
Giles winced and opened his eyes. What was that? A clattering noise sounded from the living-room – not exactly a good sign in the middle of the night, especially if one lived in Sunnydale.
He took his glasses from the bedside table, put them on and was about to grab a small axe that he kept in the bedroom when he remembered that he had a lodger who was most likely responsible for his disturbed night's sleep.
He sighed, but nevertheless stood up and took the axe. Even if it had been Spike, scaring him a little certainly would help showing him who the master of the house was.
He sneaked into the living-room and switched on the light. The result was a loud yell, followed by an angry, "bloody hell! Can't you warn me?" Spike was standing next to the couch, covering his eyes with both hands.
"Oh, I'm awfully sorry", Giles replied in a not very sympathetic voice. "May I ask what you have been doing?"
"Trying to adjust to your strange living habits." Spike paused and gave him a sharp glance. "I was sleeping", he then explained.
"And what was that noise?" Giles wanted to know.
Spike silently pointed at a spot behind the sofa.
Giles lifted his axe and carefully walked around the furniture until he could see an apparently human figure lying on the ground. It was a young man with black hair, who was sleeping, unconscious – or dead.
"What did you do to him?" The axe dangerously glistened in the moonlight that fell through the window.
"Hey, cool down. I didn't do anything, old man. He was like that when I woke up."
Giles raised an eyebrow, but did not reply. Instead, he went closer to the person on the ground and scrutinized him. There were no marks on his throat, and at a closer look, he was breathing calmly. The Watcher relaxed. "So you don't have any idea how he got inside?"
Spike shrugged and went to the fridge to get some blood. When he returned, he saw Giles leaning over the unconscious man, patting his cheeks. He grinned and shook his head.
"Oh please. You don't think you'll wake him up this way, do you? Step aside." He bent down, took the young man by his shoulders and shook him fiercely. "Hey chap! Get up, come on!"
Giles frowned, but the drastic measures showed effect: Spike's victim opened his eyes – and started to scream. In order to stop his hysterical fit, Spike slapped his face without thinking, and the punishment followed immediately.
Giles sat down on the couch and buried his face in his hands. On the ground, both men had curled up and yelled in pain or panic. It was pathetic. What had he done to deserve this?
* * *
Shortly before sunrise, Buffy arrived first with Willow. They glanced at the closed blinds, then at Spike, who was grimly staring at somebody they had never seen before.
"What is it?" Buffy wanted to know. "You said it wasn't – anything scary, so what's up?"
"You aren't real, either", the stranger murmured before Giles could reply.
Buffy hesitated, then turned to him. "I do feel quite real. And you are?"
"Probably going crazy."
"That's possible, but I asked for your name."
"Stuart Travis. My friends call me Stu. And I have no idea why I'm telling you this."
"Because I'm not real."
"Right."
Buffy sighed and looked at Giles. "Explanation?"
Spike grinned and sipped on a cup of blood. "This bloke thinks he's landed in some movie dimension."
"TV show. This is a freaking TV show, and I would really like to wake up now." The man seemed quite desperate, but Buffy couldn't help laughing.
"A TV show? What's it called? Living in Hell's Mouth?"
"Not really. It's Buffy the Vampire Slayer."
Everybody burst out laughing, and even Giles grinned.
"So I'm the hero, cool", Buffy replied.
"Well, it's not exactly a one-woman show, you know. There's your Watcher", he nodded towards Giles, "your witch friend and the rest of the gang – Xander, Anya, Tara and Dawn."
Buffy stopped short, and Spike's grin faded. "Xander and Anya? Hey, you're good. But who are Tara and Dawn?"
"Do you remember the girl from school?" Willow threw in. "Tara. She's a witch, too."
"Okay, but I still don't know a Dawn."
"Dawn? Your sister?" Stu insisted.
"Nice try, but I don't have a sister." Buffy's voice had gotten somewhat cool.
"You don't have – oh wait, which season is this?"
"Season?" Buffy grabbed a chair and sat down, and so did Willow.
"Er, what's the most recent weird thing that happened to you?"
Buffy gestured her to be silent, but Willow replied. "Well, there was this strange thing going on – nobody seemed to be able to speak, and –"
"The Gentlemen."
They all looked up in surprise. Stu was starting to show some knowledge that even an average Sunnydale citizen couldn't possibly have.
"We should do some research", Giles suddenly said.
"Now you're talking", Stu answered in relief. "I'm coming with you."
"No, you're not", Giles replied. "You will stay here with Spike. Spike, tell Xander and Anya to come to the school. Buffy, Willow –"
He grabbed his jacket and a few old books and marched towards the door, and Buffy and Willow followed him.
When the door had closed behind them, Stu looked at Spike in anticipation. "So, what are we gonna do now?"
"*We* are not doing anything. You sit down and keep your mouth shut. If I hear a single word, I will rip out your bowels, blow them up and make a few nice balloon animals."
"No, you won't. Billy." Stu gave him an arrogant grin. "Do you think I don't know about your little – handicap?"
"I had hoped you didn't", Spike growled.
"Looks like you can't even keep me from leaving the house. See, if I just walk out", he stood up and moved toward the door, "all you can do is watch."
Spike tried to block his way, but Stu pushed him aside. "You should take cover", he advised.
Spike hesitated. "Why?"
Stu shrugged and opened the door wide. "Sun's up."
As the sunlight fell on his face and started to burn it, Spike yelled in agony and dived behind the sofa. Even there, the light was intense enough not to let him think of anything else but his skin peeling off and his flesh being scorched away.
Stu chuckled. "Being a vampire can suck, can't it?" He went outside and left the door open.
Spike crouched behind the sofa, covering his face with a pillow, when he heard voices approaching. He recognized Xander and, most of all, Anya, who had followed Giles' call.
"Close the bloody door, goddammit", he groaned.
"Spike?" Anya did as he had said, and the couple walked through the living- room looking for the vampire. They found him on the floor, trying to reattach a piece of skin to his face.
"Yuk", was Anya's comment.
"What happened here?" Xander inquired. "Where are the others?"
"Yes, I'm fine. Thanks for asking", Spike said sarcastically. "They went to do some research. On the guy who did this to me, I might add."
"A demon?" Anya asked hopefully.
"Nope. Just a regular madman for all I know. You still might want to find him. He knows pretty much about us – more than I'd like him to know."
"So I guess we're supposed to join the others at the school?" Xander asked.
"Yes. Oh, and when you leave, let me first – ow!" Spike winced and dropped to the ground once again when Xander opened the door. When they were gone, he sighed. "Let me first get out of the way", he finished his sentence. "Better hope I'll never get this chip removed. Ouch."
* * *
In the library, the familiar scenery of piled up books and manuscripts expected Anya and Xander. Somewhere underneath, they heard Giles' murmur, and Buffy and Willow were talking silently.
"Hi there", Xander greeted them. "So what have we got? Spike said there was a lunatic on the loose?"
"On the loose?" Buffy asked.
"Yes, we found Spike all well-done, and there was nobody else around."
"Idiot. We shouldn't have let him look after that guy."
"Is he anything like – dangerous?"
"Stu? I don't think so. He thinks he's in a TV show or something. The only thing that got us puzzled was that he seems to know a whole lot about us. Giles is trying to find out what's going on."
"A TV show?" Xander repeated, ignoring the rest of what Buffy had said.
Willow giggled. "Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Not bad, uh?"
"And I had hoped for 'Everybody loves Xander'", he grinned. "But why research on, you know, magic and stuff? You don't seriously believe him, do you?"
"Anything is possible", Giles' voice sounded, and an instant later, his face appeared from behind a book.
"He's right", Anya confirmed. "I've seen quite a few dimensions, and many creatures that do exist in one dimension have become myths in others. Hey, some even appear as nightmares, or-"
"Thank you, Anya", Giles interrupted her. "But this time, I think he is either crazy or pretending. What I am trying to find out is how he got into my apartment, and how he was able to gather so much information about us."
"Maybe he's been stalking you", Willow suggested, looking at Buffy. "I mean, he thinks you're the hero."
Buffy smiled. "If he wasn't all insane, I wouldn't really mind. He was kind of cute."
Willow gave her a half reproachful look. "What about Riley?"
"Let's just say there's something standing between us, and I don't really understand what this something is. But hey, I wasn't talking about Riley or any relationship for that matter. I just said this Stu was cute. Have you seen his eyes? They were like – so blue, wow."
Xander cleared his throat. "Er, I don't really mean to interrupt your little drooling session, but even though I haven't seen this guy yet, I've seen Spike, or what was left of him. It's not like I cared or anything, but don't you think your Stu doesn't really care much about what happens to us?"
Willow nodded. "He thinks we're not real."
"Now this is strange", Giles suddenly said.
"What is it?" Buffy asked.
"This manuscript actually mentions the existence of tale dimensions."
"Which are – what?"
"The causality is not completely clear, but it appears that for most stories that have ever been written down, or even only told, dimensions exist where these stories are real, where they happen."
"You mean, all fairy tales, legends and myths somewhere have a real-life equivalent?"
"If we're to believe this writing, even the latest Grisham novel has its own dimension", Giles said gloomily.
"Scary", Willow commented. She thought for a moment, then continued, "You said something about causality. Does that mean nobody knows what came first – the chicken or the egg?"
"Pretty much so, indeed."
"Now that's something I find scary", Xander said. "Are you telling me that we can never know if we're just people from a story somebody accidentally wrote down?"
"Or filmed", Giles confirmed. "Or, as we don't know what came first, for some reason somebody just made a TV show of what we experienced before. But this is all grey theory."
"Wow", Willow said. "Just imagine – we might be TV show characters, but even if somebody is watching the show, this someone might be a character from a book, too, and so on. How weird is that?"
"Too weird for me." Xander shrugged off the thought. "Let's talk about something different. What about this Stu guy now? I think we should find him. I mean, if he's crazy, which I hope, who knows what he might be doing to himself or non-existent people like us right now?"
"I agree", Giles said. "Buffy should patrol tonight. Perhaps you find our 'friend' – if you do, please be careful."
Buffy smiled. "Hey, I'm the Slayer. Don't worry, I'll be fine. He didn't exactly seem like your average demon, and I think I'll get along with a regular guy."
* * *
Stu marvelled as he walked down the road. This was exactly like he had always imagined. Sunnydale with all its wonders seemed to have come true for him. And he hadn't even started to realize how he had got here.
He had always been a fan of the show, since the very beginning. Well, actually it had been Sarah Michelle Gellar who he was taken with. And even more actually, it had rather been the character of Buffy. Oh yes, he could draw a distinction between a TV show and real life, cartoon-like characters and actors. But wow, if he had been able to spend some time in Sunnydale, meet Buffy, maybe impress her somehow, this would have been a dream come true.
And this was pretty much what he had thought last night right before falling asleep after yet another unofficial Buffy convention. About one hundred so-called fans who chatted about recent episodes and the developing story, but failed to sense the depth of the Slayer's character, a well- drawn picture of hopes, fears and emotion that almost made her real.
This morning, she apparently had become real for him. He had checked repeatedly whether he was dreaming, but he felt more awake than ever before.
But right now, something felt strange. It was an emotion that he soon identified as fear. The sun was setting.
But why should he be afraid of the dark, even in Sunnydale? He had seen every single episode more than only a few times, and he knew every evil creature in the Buffyverse by name, knew how to destroy them.
He decided to prepare for patrol. After all, he knew what to do, and saving Buffy's life when she got into trouble seemed much more heroic to him than just showing up at her room in the dorms.
He started collecting everything he could use for a stake, plus a heavy iron bar that he could hardly lift, although he worked out regularly, and at his 6'1" was pretty well-built. When he was finished, he felt ready for any dark creature that might cross his path.
That is, until he finally met his first dark creature.
It was a vampire, a simple, stupid vampire, he thought when his throat was clenched by an enormously strong and foul-smelling hand. He fumbled for his stakes, but they all seemed to be gone.
Just when the vampire grinned at him and presented his long, shiny and way too sharp teeth, a bright, familiar voice sounded from behind him.
"Excuse me?"
The vampire turned around, and the brutish joy in his eyes was replaced by sheer panic. "Slayer", he hissed and let go of Stu.
"Correct. Now for the next question, you can still call a friend. Oh, you don't have any friends? Bad for you." Stu hadn't even seen her move, but in the next instant, the vampire turned to dust, and in front of him stood the object of his dreams. "Hi Stu."
"Ah", was all he could reply.
"You okay?"
"Hmm." He nodded. Darn, this wasn't what he had planned. Shouldn't he have saved her, not the other way round? But then again, Buffy wasn't just a regular girl. Maybe she liked saving her guys, maybe maternal instinct was what turned her on.
"Really?"
She liked him, he was almost certain now. "Yes, I'm fine. Just a little shaken." He allowed himself to sway a little, but not too much. Buffy didn't like wimps.
She shook her head, came towards him and pulled his t-shirt straight. "What are you doing out here in the middle of the night?" She looked at some stakes that had fallen to the ground. "Don't tell me you're hunting vampires?"
"Actually I am. I, er, I don't know what made me, though. I think I just wanted to help."
"Well, you can help yourself if you stay inside at night. Which reminds me – where do you live? I should take you home."
"I told you: I don't think I'm from your dimension, world or whatever you want to call it. Until yesterday, all this was just a TV show for me."
"Right, the show." Buffy thought for a moment. "You know what? We'll go to Giles' place. He seems to have founded a shelter for stranded characters. And he might have come up with something new concerning your – and our – situation."
"So he did some research?"
"Yes, but it'll be better if he tells you." Buffy turned away and started to walk out of the dark alley, but then she stopped. "Did you really do that to Spike?" she asked. "I mean, congrats if you did, but he'll be quite pissed."
"So what?" Stu grinned. "He could try and stare me to death."
"True." Buffy smiled. "You don't like him, do you?"
Stu shook his head. "Not exactly." After all, Spike was the one who would sooner or later end up being together with her, and being the 'evil, disgusting thing' – how he loved that quote – that he was, he simply didn't deserve to.
"Any special reason?" Buffy carefully inquired. "I mean, is there anything I should know?"
Stu's heart started to pound. She believed him! Or at least, she felt that he knew more than she did. Either way, this was perfect. Advantage Stu, he thought.
"I don't really know if I can tell you", he drawled. "I mean, I just don't get along with this dimension thing. What if I tell you something you're not supposed to know. There could be consequences like in Back to the Future, you know, like people vanishing and stuff."
"Listen", Buffy said seriously. "If we're in danger because of him, and you know, you have to tell me. Please."
"Okay", he said, feigning reluctance. "Just don't trust this guy. That chip in his head doesn't make him an angel, if you get the point. He won't change. You might think he will because somebody else did, but he won't. He'll remain evil, and he'll try to make you believe that he wants to help you and your friends, but he'll betray you when you least expect him to. Don't trust him, that's all I can tell you."
Buffy had winced when he mentioned Angel's name. Good – she seemed to have understood the message.
"Fine", she said. "Didn't like him from the start." She looked a bit puzzled, but didn't say more.
* * *
They arrived at Giles' apartment, where he was reading an obviously ancient book. Spike was watching TV and darted to the door when it opened.
"You little –" he started, but Buffy's fist stopped his rage, and another punch sent him to the ground.
He slowly lifted his head. "What was that for?" he asked.
"Shut up", she snapped at him.
"But – he started", Spike tried to defend himself.
Buffy drew a stake out of her pocket. "Another word, and it's goodbye to the world, Spike. Now shut up, sit down and don't move until I tell you to."
Spike opened his mouth as if to say something, but decided it would be healthier to remain silent. Quietly, he sat down, wondering what he might have done wrong again.
Stu had almost burst out laughing. Wow! This was way cooler than he had pictured. He looked at Spike. Loser, he thought.
Giles had put down his book. "What happened?" he asked with a sidelong glance at Spike, whose face was still burned and now also showed marks where Buffy had hit him. She really had not restrained herself.
"Oh, nothing." She paused. "Except that I found Stu, of course."
"Good. I think." Giles stood up. "I'm afraid I haven't found out much more than we had earlier today."
"Which doesn't really help us a lot."
"Well, I hoped to find out by talking to Mr. Travis. Let's sit down first." He walked to the couch where Spike was sitting.
"Spike – kitchen", Buffy said, and he stood up and walked out, a little faster than necessary.
They sat down. "So, Stuart, are you certain that you know us and this whole town from a TV show?" Giles asked.
"Damn sure, Sir", Stu replied. "If you want to test me, I know everything that you know."
"Well, you have proven that at least you know us. But it won't be of much use to ask you certain questions. There is still the possibility that you might have found information on us in many other ways, including magic."
Stu laughed briefly. "Magic. No offense, but where I come from, magic isn't exactly practiced very often. I mean, real magic."
"Same here", Buffy replied with a smile. "We just happen to be a weird bunch of people living in a weird place."
Stu smiled back at her. Boy, was she beautiful.
"So is there anything that might have caused your changing dimensions? Because this is our only theory until now. Or at least the only one that we found written down." Giles took off his glasses as if to clean them, but then put them back on. "Did anything unusual happen to you? Have you had contact with strange people, artefacts or other ancient or magical objects?"
"Strange people?" He thought of the convention. "Yes, but they're not likely to have anything to do with magic."
"How about objects? Crystals maybe, or a charm?" Buffy asked.
"Not really. Oh, wait – I bought this little thingy, but I think it's not even real silver." He reached for his neck, but didn't find what he was looking for. "It's gone."
"What was it?" Giles wanted to know.
"Just a pendant on a leather string. Nothing special. I bought it on that convention I went to yesterday because it looked kinda cool."
"Can you draw it? I would like to see if I can find anything about it." Giles stood up and went to his desk to get paper and a pencil.
While Stu tried to recall what the pendant had looked like, and scribbled a picture that clearly showed his lack of talent, Buffy moved a little closer.
"Do you think you might have lost it when you were attacked?" she asked.
Stu felt the warmth of her breath. "Yes, maybe", he said.
"Well then, perhaps we should go look for it", she suggested.
Giles noticed a certain atmosphere which he didn't consider very useful for their efforts. He cleared his throat. "Perhaps Mr. Travis should stay here", he said. "Even with you looking after him, he will be safer here. You can go and search that pendant, Buffy."
Buffy drew a face. "Okay. But if Stu stays, Spike must move out."
"Why's that?"
"Let's just say my trust in Spike is very limited. I don't think Stu would be completely safe here if Spike was around. So either Spike leaves, or I'll take Stu with me."
Giles frowned at Buffy's sudden outburst of rejection towards Spike. Nobody liked him, true, but this was strange.
"Very well, so I'll tell Spike to move out for tonight, or until we found a solution to Stuart's problem."
"No need to tell me." Spike had been eavesdropping from the kitchen. "I'm out. Thanks for the hospitality." He went outside, giving Stu a sharp glance, and slammed the door shut.
"I'm glad he's gone", Stu sighed.
"So am I", said Buffy, but there was something in her voice that only Giles noticed. It sounded like she was not perfectly comfortable. "Well then", she continued. "I'm off. I'll see if I can find your pendant, and spend the rest of the night on patrol. See ya! Bye Giles!"
"Goodbye, Buffy." Giles glanced at Stu once more and then went to get a blanket for him.
* * *
When the door bell rang, Xander uttered a disappointed moan. He and Anya had just snuggled up to each other, and this had been a promising start for a very nice night.
Which he could now forget, he realized as he opened the door and looked into Spike's face. "Oh no", he said and closed the door again. In the same instant, Spike started to pound at the wood.
"Come on, let me in", sounded his muffled voice.
"No way. You're staying with Giles."
"He threw me out for Stu." Even through the closed door, the disgust in his voice was audible.
"Stu's back?"
"Yes. Now would you please let me in? I don't exactly feel safe out here."
Xander laughed but opened the door. "You don't feel safe outside? Well, I'd feel safer if you stayed outside."
Spike ignored his answer and slipped past him.
Anya had sat up in bed and now stood up, wearing something that was just a little too – little with Spike around. Xander frowned, but Spike didn't even look at her. Instead, he dropped on the couch and let out a frustrated groan.
"So what about this Stu guy?", Xander inquired.
"What about him? Everybody seems to love him, and he made Giles kick me out and Buffy treat me like dirt. I mean, she did that before, but this is different."
"Not that I pity you or anything, but did you think this guy was strange?"
"Strange? More than that. He just smelled weird. Didn't like it."
"Alright, so we agree for once."
"You haven't even seen him."
"I know, but there was something about Buffy when she talked about him. She seemed to like him, and something just didn't seem right."
"A spell?"
"Don't know."
"You guys are kidding, right?" This was Anya. "He might come from a different dimension, but I think you're overreacting. He knows as much about magic as Xander knows about Acquadian Hops."
"Acquadian what?"
"See?"
"Yeah, whatever. Guess you'll stay here for the night. You know the routine." Xander pointed at the chair he had tied Spike to a few days ago.
"You can't be serious", Spike complained. Minutes later, he was again tied to the chair, hardly able to move.
"And don't you start yapping all night again", Xander warned him.
"Why should I."
* * *
In the next morning, Xander, Anya, Willow and Buffy arrived at Giles' together.
"Look what I found", said Buffy after she had greeted Giles. She held up a pendant that was hanging from a torn string of leather.
"That's the one", Stu said, and Giles took the little piece of metal.
"No, it's not silver", he said after a few seconds, "but iron charms can be very powerful."
While he started to examine the pendant and leaf through several books, Buffy introduced Xander and Anya to Stu. Xander tried not to look too suspicious, but the strange feeling remained.
After a while, Giles looked up. "I may have found something."
"So what is it?" Buffy asked.
"It actually might be a charm. But this text is not being very precise. It says that there is a certain amount of different magical objects to be found all over the world, even in several dimensions, which work only at a special time, on a special occasion, or for a certain person."
"That's not exactly new", Willow commented. "This is true for a lot of magical objects."
"Yes, but these seem to be of the same making. What it doesn't say here is who or what created them, and for what purpose."
"So if we sum up what we've got, Stu bought this charm, and either because it was the right place, time, or person, the charm suddenly started to do its work", Buffy concluded.
"Right. What we don't know is why it brought him here. Was it the pendant's given purpose, or did the owner influence what happened?" Giles gave Stu an asking look.
"I think what we all want to know is if you wished to get here", Xander added when Stu didn't say anything.
"Maybe I did. Does that matter?"
"Well, it might be a way for you to get back home", Giles explained.
"Oh, right." Stu hesitated. "So you think if I just wish to get home, it'll take me back the same way it brought me here?"
"Why don't you just try?" Xander suggested.
"Right." Slowly, Stu took the pendant, but Buffy took his hand.
"Wait." She hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks for stopping by", she said. "Of all our unusual guests, you've been one of the more pleasant."
"I take this as a compliment", Stu smiled. "Well then, let's go." He closed his eyes. Go home? No way! This was getting better and better, so why should he want to leave? After a few seconds, he opened his eyes again and tried to look disappointed. "I think it doesn't work."
"What if this was a one-way ticket?" Buffy asked in concern.
"It shouldn't", Giles replied. "This kind of charm usually works both ways. But perhaps we have been following the wrong trace. It might still only be a simple pendant with no magical powers at all."
"Which again leaves us wondering how Stu was brought here", Buffy sighed. "You know what? We'll leave paper work to the others, and I'll show you around as long as you have the opportunity."
She took Stu by the hand and dragged him behind her.
"Chicken, egg. Chicken, egg. Egg, chicken", Xander murmured when they were gone.
"Are you alright?" Willow asked.
"Doesn't anyone of you ever think about the whole TV show thing? I don't know about you, but the thought of being a fictional character scares the crap out of me."
"Thinking's the word", Willow replied. "Cogito ergo sum, that's my motto. You shouldn't worry too much."
"What worries me right now is that some mad author might get the idea to write me out of the show."
* * *
"Sunnydale is more exciting at night, but definitely more beautiful by daylight", Buffy smiled.
"So are you", Stu replied.
Buffy hesitated. "Well – thank you."
They walked in silence for a while, then she continued. "So what about this TV show? I mean, disregarding the fact that none of us feels exceptionally fictional, what's it about? What happened until now, and what's going to happen? It sounded like you've seen more – episodes than we've lived through." She paused. "This is so weird."
"It all started when you learned that you're the Slayer", Stu explained.
"That's certainly the moment when my life became interesting", Buffy smiled. "It's kind of a relief, too. I do have memories from before then."
"And we get to see mostly major events. You know, big, ugly creatures, end of the world, important things."
"How about, you know, relationships?"
"Well, that too."
"Oh." Another pause. "Do you think this is gonna be on TV, too?"
"Nah. Not exciting enough. More talk and research than anything else."
"I'm getting a feeling that you have somewhat wrong ideas of what we're doing all day." She smiled again. He couldn't get enough of it.
"But as for future events, I really don't want to tell you", he said. "But until now, it always ended well."
"Good to know."
Know? Hey, he knew everything that was going to happen. And he posessed a charm that obviously had fulfilled one of his wishes before. Didn't that make him one of the most powerful persons around? He had to find out if the pendant could do more for him. And there was one thing he had been thinking about ever since he had first seen Buffy.
"Stu?"
"Yes?"
"Please, don't be mad with me."
"For what?"
"For this." She put her arms around his neck and kissed him. On his lips!
His head was spinning. It worked. It actually worked! He could do anything, wish for everything that he wanted. In this world, he was God.
* * *
"So? What happened?"
Xander gasped for air when Spike seized him by his shirt as soon as he had entered the apartment. "Hey, let go. So far, nothing happened." Spike released him. "Unless, of course, you count the little fact that Buffy seems to have a crush on Stu."
"What?"
"Yeah – she took him out for a little walk today. But why do you care?"
"You're right. I don't give a thing. But we still should think about a way to get rid of him."
"Get what? Hey, listen. So far, he hasn't done anything bad."
"Except for burning me."
"I somehow liked that."
"A real hoot, wasn't it?" A cold glint appeared in Spike's eyes.
"Anyway, what are you going to do? You can't kill him off, and I won't."
"All I'm asking you for is to keep an eye on him. I'll follow him at night."
"Fine with me."
They briefly shook hands as if to confirm a deal.
* * *
On the next morning, Xander arrived in the library. Giles was already working, but except for Willow, nobody else was there.
"Where's Buffy?" he asked.
"Out with Stu again", Willow replied. "But look, we found something new." She pointed at a heap of paper.
Xander glanced at it and sighed. "Could you just give me the summary?"
"Okay. There are 21 magical objects of different kinds, all created by Rhiannon, the goddess of joy and oblivion."
"Sounds nice."
"And she was the queen of Hell."
"That's less nice."
"What she did was to create these charms and give them the power to – well, this is unclear. Rhiannon brought dreams to people, so the spell might be either sending somebody into a dream, or making a dream come true, no matter how."
"I suppose we prefer the dream-come-true option?"
"We do." Willow nodded. "Combining this with the existence of tale dimensions that Giles explained yesterday, Stu must have bought this pendant, which for some reason worked for him. His wish was to actually live in a world that he only knew from a TV show –"
"Is that sick, or what?"
"And so he was sent here."
"I couldn't have explained it better", Giles said. He had finished browsing through books and now sat down at the table. "The question is why it didn't send him back when he wished for it."
"Maybe he didn't", Xander speculated.
"What do you mean?" Willow asked.
"Hey, just look at him – this must be the coolest experience this guy's ever had. Plus, Buffy seems to like him, and he didn't exactly seem too sad about it. What if he wants to stay?"
"I don't see why this should be bad", Willow said.
"Maybe not for him – but how about us? There's something strange about him – and he seemed to know what's gonna happen next. I don't like the thought of him always being one step ahead of us."
"He shouldn't stay here, you're right", Giles agreed. "Not because he might use his knowledge for dark purposes, but because crossing dimensions never really ends well. There are too many perils along the way."
"But how do we get him home if he doesn't want to?" Willow wanted to know.
Giles shrugged. "This charm was equipped with a powerful spell. It might just be beyond our limits to break it."
A broad grin spread on Xander's face. "I take it that this means we have to make him want to go home."
"But how are we supposed to do that?" Willow asked.
"I know someone who'll be more than willing to help."
* * *
Willow stood up from her bed when Buffy and Stu entered. "Hey guys."
"Hi Wil. What's up?"
"Giles just called. He said there was something going on at the city hall. I think it was something about a two-headed monster fighting a bunch of vampires."
"Great. Let them kill each others, and we'll have a quiet night." Buffy dropped her handbag and opened the fridge.
"I think it's not that easy", Willow contradicted, a trace of panic in her voice. "Whoever survives will probably stay for dinner."
"You're right. I'll have a look at this. Can I leave Stu in your capable hands?"
"Sure."
"Okay. You guys have fun, I'll be right back." Buffy grabbed her handbag and a small dagger and rushed outside.
"So what are we –" Willow started to ask when suddenly the phone rang. She picked up the receiver. "Hello? Hey Xander! No, it's Willow. No, she just went to the city hall. They've got some monster thingy going on, with – Spike did what? We'll be right there." She hung up and looked at Stu.
"What is it?"
"I don't know. Looks like Spike is playing havoc with Xander's apartment. Is that anything you've – seen before?"
"No, that's new. But what are we supposed to do?"
"No idea, but we have to do something. Let's go!" She dashed off, and Stu followed, uttering a resigned sigh.
* * *
They arrived at Xander's apartment in the exact moment that the door was torn out of its hinges. Spike was standing in the frame, heavily breathing. "What are you doing here?"
"We, uh, just dropped by. Wanted to say hello", Willow improvised.
"Well, hello. And – goodbye!" Spike lifted up the door and hurled it at them, and they quickly dropped to the ground.
Stu was the first to get on his feet again. "What are you doing, Billy? You know you can't harm us."
"Ya think? Come on in, have a look." Spike vanished in the darkness inside the apartment, and Stu and Willow followed.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Willow asked in a scared voice.
"Don't worry." Stu tried to sound masculine, but in the next instant wondered who he was trying to impress here. "He's showing off, that's all. With that chip in his head, he's as harmless as a kitten."
"I hope you're right", she answered.
When they entered the living-room, it looked like it had been decorated by a crazy interior designer from a hell dimension. Furniture was lying upside down, and, as Willow realized in awe, even inside out. Everything that could possibly be torn out of place had been scattered all over the room. If it hadn't been a place of destruction, she would have applauded.
"So", Spike's voice sounded from a dark corner. "Have you come to stop me? You might just be a little late."
"Where's Xander?" Willow asked. "Is he alright?"
"Oh, he was more than alright. Quite delicious, I'd say." He pointed at something lying beside him on the ground, and what had looked like a bundle of clothes now turned out to be Xander. He wasn't moving.
"That's impossible. This is a trick. You can't harm people. Not with that chip in your head." Stu's words did not sound as convinced as they were supposed to.
"Always the same old story. Don't you bore yourself sometimes?" Spike took a few steps towards Stu and realized with satisfaction that he shrunk from him. "Well, let's just assume somebody entered this dimension. Somebody in possession of a charm. One which is not the only one of its kind." He held up a small object that glistened in the dim light. "I think I may have to thank you. Without you, I'd never have found this wonderful little thing that apparently has some strange powers. Hell, I wouldn't even have had the idea to look for it."
"You're lying."
"Oh yeah?" Spike stepped out of the shadow, and Stu could see blood dripping from his mouth. His teeth glistened red. "Would you like to find out? Or maybe I'll take li'l Willow first. I've never had a witch before."
"Stop it!"
"Or what?" Spike slowly went towards them. He looked at Willow who swallowed dryly, and bowed over her neck. He sniffed twice. "How I missed that."
"Do something", Willow said to Stu with tears in her eyes.
"I'm trying", he replied. He closed his eyes. The charm had worked twice, so chances were good it would work again. If only Spike would drop dead! Or if at least the chip would start working again. Something had to happen now, or they would be doomed.
"What do you think?" Spike interrupted his racing thoughts. "Wouldn't she make a nice vampire?" His teeth were hovering only inches from Willow's throat. Then he dug them into her.
Stu yelled as a few drops of blood ran down her neck, and she went limp in Spike's grasp. It hadn't worked. Something was going awry here. He tried to wish Buffy to appear, but nothing happened.
When Spike dropped Willow and turned to him, Stu realized that he had just missed the chance to cut and run.
The vampire grinned, and Stu could have sworn he was amusing himself. "Now for you." Spike scrutinized him. "Well-built and healthy. I like that kind." Stu backed up until the wall stopped him. Spike was now as close to him as he could get, and he could smell blood. Real blood. It had never looked so real on TV.
This wasn't worth it. If there was any chance to get out of here, he'd take it. Even though Buffy had been more attractive and kinder than he'd ever expected, he still preferred to be alone but alive.
Suddenly, the surrounding started to become – two-dimensional. He couldn't quite explain it, but everything seemed less real than in the instant before. The smell of blood was gone, and Spike didn't seem as threatening as he just had. Finally, the charm worked.
The last thing Stu thought before he was catapulted back into his own dimension was that if the charm was only good for interdimensional travel, her kiss, her affection towards him, had been real. As real as it could get.
* * *
Spike looked up as something happened with Stu. He seemed so far away, so unreal. This had to be the moment. Stu had wished to get home. Spike quickly lifted his hand, and before Stu vanished completely, he tore the pendant from his neck.
"You're not coming back, pal", he growled.
Seconds later, it was over. Stu was gone, and all that was left of him was the pendant Spike was holding. Spike released his breath.
"Okay, you can get up." He turned around, and Xander sat up, but Willow didn't move. "Wil?" He kneeled down beside her. "You all right? Willow!"
Suddenly, she opened her eyes. "Boo."
Spike winced. "Bloody – why did you do that?"
Willow smiled. "That was for nearly grazing my skin."
"Well, I'm sorry. He was too close. It had to look real."
"But did it have to smell real? And stick real? I would've taken ketchup", Xander complained.
"It had to be real blood. Had to create a little atmosphere here. You wanted me to get rid of him, I got rid of him. You got what you asked for, so stop whining. Catch!" He tossed the pendant to Xander. "You might want to give it to Buffy."
He turned on his heel and went outside.
"Hey, aren't you gonna clean up this mess?" Xander shouted after him, but the only reply was a harsh laugh. "I knew it", Xander hissed.
"Hey, take it easy", Willow said. "It worked. We did it."
"Yeah, we did." Xander grinned. "We're not bad, are we?"
* * *
When Buffy arrived at the city hall, everything was quiet. She didn't sense any trace of danger, either, but nevertheless circled the building and had a look inside. No signs of a fight, no monster, no vampires. It was a calm, peaceful night.
* * *
When she arrived at her and Willow's room, Willow was already waiting – alone.
"Where's Stu?" she asked.
"He left."
"What? Why? You mean, he left, like – left?"
"Yes. He's gone. But he asked me to give you this." She held up the pendant. "He thought it might remind you of him."
"Thanks." Buffy looked at the shiny object on her palm, then opened a drawer of her bedside table and dropped it inside.
"Aren't you gonna wear it?"
"No, I –" Buffy paused. "I don't think I will."
"Why?"
"Don't know. He was kind of unreal. Maybe it's not us. Maybe he was a person from a story who just happened to get into our dimension."
"Now that's a thought."
Buffy didn't listen to her anymore. She was already sitting on her bed, brooding over her own thoughts. "Probably he didn't belong here. And maybe not everything of what he thought he knew was right."
"What do you mean?"
Buffy looked up. "What? Oh, nothing. Just a thought."