Twilight belongs to S. Meyer. I'm just borrowing her characters.

Thanks to AFWife for being an awesome Beta and so much more!

Edward had grown up like any other boy in the small town of Forks, Washington. His parents were happily married, then happily divorced, and he had a good childhood. His mother signed him up for sports all throughout elementary and junior high, but once high school came along, he decided to be involved in only football; not only was he a decent player, but he enjoyed playing it as well. Edward looked like a normal teenage boy standing at an awkward 5'8" and carrying a slim but quite toned build. He had shaggy reddish-brown hair and green eyes. He wouldn't stick out in a crowd, and to him, that was okay because he knew something about himself that made him different from most of the boys he went to school with.

While Edward's friends were all talking about how hot and sexy certain girls in his school were, he couldn't help but to notice how attractive he found certain boys. He knew better than to say anything about it because the other guys were always making gay jokes and mercilessly taunting kids they didn't like by calling them 'fags' and 'cocksuckers'. Edward went along with the it and would talk about Megan Fox's rack or Jessica Alba's ass whenever his friends were around, but when he would go into his bedroom it was a completely different story; he couldn't help but admire the men featured in GQ Magazine or that he thought some of the guys on his football team were definitely hotter than any of the girls at their school.

Locker room showers soon became Edward's most hated and most loved part of the day. He enjoyed watching his fellow team members in the shower and appreciating how different and good their bodies looked. Edward hated showering with guys because he would always start to get hard. Eventually, he took to showering and dressing as fast as possible that way he wouldn't have to look at any anybody, and hopefully, they wouldn't notice that he was sporting a semi.

The new emotions confused Edward and he began to question to sexuality. He wasn't stupid and knew he would get shit for it if he was, but he didn't know if people would accept him, even his family. So he just kept silent. He decided to visit his cousin, Tanya, in San Francisco for the summer. He thought it would help him gain understanding of himself if he were to spend some time where people were more open minded. Edward had walked around San Francisco with his cousin and saw guys holding hands with each other and same-sex couples sharing displays of affection in public and no one even gave it a second thought.

One evening while eating dinner with Tanya, he decided to tell her he was gay as long as she promised not to tell anyone else in the family. The conversation went better than he could have ever imagined; she completely approved and even set him up with someone his own age to hang out with. Mark was eighteen and just graduated, was definitely hot in Edward's opinion. He had slightly darker skin than Edward and a very slim build. Both of them hit it off. They enjoyed dinner together and even ended up making out throughout the movie they had gone to. After that Edward was addicted. He had never kissed a girl before, but couldn't imagine how it would feel compared to a guy. He loved the way Mark's large hands felt against his skin and the slight stinging of the stubble on his face when they kissed. However, much too soon, summer ended and Mark and Edward held no pretenses that what they shared was anything more than a summer fling. They ended on good terms and promised to keep in touch.

School had started back up again, and although Edward had accepted if not welcomed his own sexuality, he didn't really want to advertise it to anyone else. Thinking he could just lay low Edward wouldn't date or show interest in any girls. He would try to pull the 'I'm really focused on school and football' card. Though that might have worked for any other girl, it didn't work for a girl named Alice or for his best friend Jasper.

Jasper, the boy who had lived down the street from Edward since birth, was undeniably Edward's best friend. Jasper was slightly taller and had a bigger build than Edward; his eyes were a mix of gray and blue and he had short blonde hair. He had been pestering Edward to start dating and 'get some pussy'. Edward kept saying it was too much effort, and that's when Alice came into his life. She was the bane of his existence. Alice was hyper girl with a wiry but short build, she had straight jet black hair and would not take no for an answer. She didn't wait for Edward to ask her out, she asked him out, numerous times in fact. After getting much flack from his best friend Jasper, Edward relented and told her yes.

"Edward, just go out with her. You know she wants you; it'll be an easy fuck, and you can be done with her. When you do her though, be all greedy and make sure she doesn't get off that way she won't wanna go out again." Jasper laughed at his own idea.

"I don't know… What if she gets even worse?"

"Dude, what's your problem? Stop being such a pussy. You aren't dating or fucking anyone."

"You don't know that."

"So you're getting action and not telling me about it? I'm offended. I tell you everything."

"I hate you." That was all Edward could say as he walked towards Alice.

"Hey. Uh Alice. Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"What's up handsome?"

"Wanna go to a movie or something on Friday"

"Really? YES!" Alice squealed, and they exchanged details.

Alice and Edward went on a date. They went on several in fact. The relationship between the two of them was essentially effortless. Edward felt comfortable around her and felt like he could tell her everything. He didn't mind holding her hand and giving her gentle kisses every now and then. And even though he felt a connection between the two of them, he still knew he wasn't straight. Fortunately, for him, Alice never really pushed the issue of sex and every time he felt as if a heavy make out session was needed he would just fantasize about boys he found attractive. It felt wrong though, he wanted to hear low grunts and feel large hands on his chest, but instead he got high pitched squeals and small hands with nails clawing at his back. Yet, he kept up the charade. Keeping Alice around was less stressful then not having her. He could keep up the façade of being straight and no one would question him.

Weeks passed and Edward was still with Alice. She was officially his best friend, his confidant, everything except his lover. He adored her and would do anything for her and she knew this. She knew everything about Edward and some things before he even told her. His sexuality was no exception.

"Alice, stop please… stop." Edward tried to breathe out as Alice started palming him through the denim of his jeans.

"Okay."

"Okay? Just like that? You're not gonna whine?" Edward asked perplexed.

"Well, no. I mean I can whine if you want me to." She responded, nonchalantly.

"No, I don't. Alice, I really need to tell you something, and I really need you not to hate me when I do" Edward looked at her with pleading eyes. "You know I love you, right? I mean I know I've never said it before, but I show it, right? What I'm trying to say is you mean so much to me and are absolutely my favorite person. I just need…"

"Wait, you love me!" Alice practically screeched.

"Yes. I do I just…"

"No, stop. You stop right there. You're gay! I mean rainbows and dicks, yeah?"

"Yes, I'm.. How did you know?" A look of horror spread across Edward's face. "I'm not that obvious, am I? Oh God. Please, say no."

Alice just started laughing and when she thought she was done she would look over at him and start laughing again. His face was bright red, his mouth hung down to the floor, and his eyes were wide with shock. Finally, after about 10 minutes of laughing at Edward's expense, Alice was able to calm herself.

"Edward, close your mouth and calm down. You aren't obvious to anyone at all."

"Then how do you know?"

"So you are?"

"You know I am," He replied while giving her the best 'duh' look he could muster, "but how do you know?"

"I just figured it out. I mean you aren't really interested in doing anything physical with me, and the only times you have ever been are when we watched something with hot guys in it…" She smiled, trying to hide the sad. Although Alice knew he was gay, and had been for sometime, it didn't stop her heart from feeling more for him.

"I'm sorry I lied to you."

"It's okay. I guess you needed a cover, and I wouldn't leave you alone, so I guess it worked out well enough."

Guilt coursed through Edward. At first she was just a cover, but now he didn't know what he would do if he couldn't talk to her every day. "You're more than that now though, you know that, right?" He waited for validation. "Right?" He urged again.

Alice remained silent and stared down at the floor. Edward enveloped her in a hug.

"You're my best friend. I appreciate you so much and I love you like family." He reassured her. "You need to know that."

She did. His feelings were in his eyes and Alice saw them every time he looked at her. She just wished the love filled them was of a different kind.

They waited a couple of days to announce their break up to their friends. Neither person said anything negative about the other. They both stated the same thing basically, "we just weren't meant for each other."

Immediately after they broke up word spread like wildfire that Edward was gay. He didn't know who started it, but Alice was his number one suspect. She swore on her life that she didn't tell anyone. Of course, he didn't believe her, but being that at the moment she was one of the few people that would openly talk to him at school he didn't stay mad at her.

As time passed, most people were okay with it or didn't care, but there were some that just couldn't accept him his sexuality. Jasper was one of those people. Once the rumors were confirmed, he just wouldn't leave Edward alone.

"Hey Edward, come here for a second." Jasper called to Edward from across the locker room.

Edward wrapped his towel around his waist and walked over to Jasper and waited for him say something.

"Here man, I got you a gift to show you I'm cool with you being gay." Jasper reached into his bag and pulled out a small green vibrator.

Hesitantly, Edward grabbed it and was about to tell him to fuck off, because he knew it was a joke when Jasper shouted, "Dude, I'm not gonna fuck you with my dick or that vibrator! Fucking fag!" Edward turned bright red and hurriedly got dressed. He was upset and didn't really feel like being ridiculed. He didn't go to school for two days after that and even considered changing schools. If it weren't for Alice, he would have.

Alice, who Edward began to affectionately call Malice, told him he couldn't let the homophobes and deniers win. Edward went back to school, but chose to quit football. He wasn't going to make his life any harder than it had to be. Ignoring people, Jasper included, was easier than he thought it was going to be. Soon, all the torture and harassment stopped and he was content. Edward learned as long as he didn't give them a reaction, or hit on any guys, they left him alone.

It was a Friday night and the high school's homecoming. There was an after party at one of the players' house. Edward really didn't want to go, but Alice refused to go without him. She was really persistent and annoying when it came to shit like that.

"Edward Fucking Cullen, you get our ass out of that bed and come to the party with me!" Alice shouted over the phone.

"Malice, my annoying little friend, I am not going anywhere. Really, you're the only person I like and will talk to there. I don't want you to feel like you have to babysit me or complain that I'm not mingling enough," Edward replied.

"Stop calling me Malice and fine then, don't go, but I'm not going either. Instead, you and I are going to have an evening alone. We can watch girly movies and give each other facials. I just bought the most recent copy of Cosmo; we can give each other BJ tips too!" She said with way to much enthusiasm. She had won, and she knew it too. Even though Edward was gay, he was in no way girly. Although learning how to suck a cock like an expert appealed to him, he had no urge, whatsoever, to watch chick flicks and peel that sticky cucumber crap off of his face. It hurt like hell the first time he tried it and actually made his face break out. In his opinion girls do some crazy shit to look pretty.

"I hate you and I'm driving. I'll pick you up at eight," Edward responded defeated. He heard a high pitch squeal causing him to pull his phone from his ear, and when he put it back, all he heard was a dial tone. Sighing, Edward got off the couch and went to find something decent to wear.

"Well, hey stud," Alice smiled as she greeted Edward. "Don't you look smoking! If I were a guy, I would be begging to slob your knob." She laughed at her own comment, and Edward just shook his head.

"You look great to Malice." He replied unenthusiastically.

Edward and Alice entered the party and straight away Alice was swept away by her new boyfriend, Emmett. Edward actually liked Emmett as a guy. He was cool with Edward and Alice being friends and spending so much time together, and he actually called Edward a few times to hang out. He really couldn't be happier for Alice. However, this left him in a bit of a predicament. What the hell was he supposed to do for the next couple of hours until Alice was ready to go home?

Cursing under his breath, Edward made his way over to an empty corner. He contemplated just leaving Alice at the party knowing Emmett would take her home, but he really didn't want to deal with her wrath in the morning. So instead of leaving, he decided he would just chill and people watch. Maybe something exciting would happen; it was the very least he could hope for.

The party wasn't going nearly as bad as he thought it would. Some people that were still cool with him after he came out were there. It had been almost two hours and he was getting antsy, and although he had been mildly entertained throughout that time, he was ready to go. Edward started looking for Alice, but couldn't find her inside the house. He figured she and Emmett probably went to go find a spot to make out, so he ventured outside. The backyard was completely empty, most likely because it was freezing outside, but he thought he would still look around anyway. As he was checking the side of the house he heard some sniffling. He went to check it out.

It was Jasper.

Although it was dark outside, he could clearly tell that Jasper had been crying. He was sitting with his back against the side of the house with his knees pulled to his chest, his elbows resting on his knees, and his palms were digging into his eyes. Edward's presence was unnoticed by Jasper, and he contemplated going inside and ignoring the fact that something was wrong with Jasper. However, he just couldn't. He and Jasper had been friends for several years before they fell apart this year, and even though he was pissed at Jasper, Edward couldn't leave him alone out there.

"Jasper?" Edward questioned, stepping into his view.

"Go away." Jasper mumbled, not even caring to see who had called him.

"No." Edward moved closer and Jasper looked up.

"I said go away fag," Jasper said, with a venomous tone.

"And I said no. I'm gonna plop my ass right down next to you until you either go inside or start talking." There was an uncomfortable silence between the two boys. Jasper was upset and Edward was slightly nervous and scared for his physical health.

"She left me." A hushed voice broke the silence. "Kate left me, said I wasn't what she needed. I fucking love her, and I thought she loved me. She didn't even cry or look sad, man."

Edward didn't say anything, instead he just put a hand on Jasper's shoulder. Jasper didn't flinch or really even notice the added warmth.

"I tried getting a ride home, but most people were already drinking, and then I saw her all up on Garrett's jock. I'm such a fucking wimp getting all heartbroken over some pussy, and I'm being comforted by a fag. Why the fuck are you even out here? Are you hoping some guy is gonna be passed out in the bushes so you can fucking assault his cock?"

Edward's mouth fell open and he removed his hand from Jasper's shoulder. "Fuck you, Jasper. I was trying to be your friend and comfort you. But, just fuck off…" Edward started to stand up but Jasper grabbed his arm.

"I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to attack you." Jasper's eyes met Edward's and flashed with an emotion that Edward didn't recognize. "Though seriously why are you out here? It's freezing and you don't even have a jacket on."

"I was looking for Alice. I'm ready to go home, and I'm her ride."

"I saw her leave with Emmett. Sorry, dude." Edward felt anger radiate up his spine. Fucking Malice.

"Okay. Well then that means I can finally go home." Edward successfully stood up this time. "Do you want a ride? I haven't had anything to drink. I'm completely sober."

Jasper nodded and stood up too. "We can leave out the side over here. I really don't wanna see anyone."

The ride to Jasper's was spent in a slightly awkward silence. Neither one of them really knew what to say to the other, so they both kept their mouths shut. Jasper simply nodded at Edward in thanks when they finally reached his house. As soon as Jasper exited the car, Edward pulled out his phone and called Alice, it went straight to her voice mail. He wasn't hesitant to leave a message. "I loathe you, and the same goes for Emmett too. Not cool, not cool at all."

Once Edward got home, he found himself incapable of falling asleep. He kept thinking of how much of an asshole Jasper was even when he was being nice, and although Edward is not a mean person by nature, he decided he was done trying to reconcile his friendship with Jasper.

Edward didn't even realize he had fallen asleep when he was being woken by his mom's voice. "Honey, you need to get up, you have a visitor."

"Tell Malice to go away, and I hope the sun falls on her head." He grumbled and turned away.

"It's not Alice, and you need to stop calling her Malice, that's not very gentlemen like."

"She deserves it, trust me, and I don't care who it is tell them I died and won't come back to life 'til Monday. Now, let me sleep, mother." Edward pulled his blanket over his head, and as he did, he felt his bed shift. "GAH! What now mom? I just wanna sleep. GO AWAY!"

"Dude, I don't ever remember you being this grouchy in the morning." A male voice responded to Edward's tantrum.

"What the fuck?"

"Language, sweetie, Edward's mom piped in, while still standing at the door.

"Sorry, ma. Why are you here?"

"To say thanks, and I brought donuts and mountain dew," Jasper simply stated.

"Um okay, well you're welcome. You can go now, but leave the dew."

"Edward!" He shot his mom a death glare, while Jasper just looked at her wondering why she was still hovering in the door. "Okay, okay I'll leave you boys be. Jasper, if Edward doesn't want his donut, give it to me!" Edward's mom laughed as she walked away. Jasper just shook his head and looked back at Edward.

"I was being serious, bye."

"Edward, man, I'm sorry. Look, let's just talk for a minute."

"About what?"

"Um… stuff, like… I don't know… what you've been up to in the couple of months or so?"

"Oh you mean besides getting fucked in the ass with dildos and sucking dick, cuz that's the only thing we gay guys do right?" Edward spit out.

"Woah, where did all this hostility come from? You were cool with me last night?"

"Last night, I didn't realize exactly how much of an ass you are. I do now. Dude, we used to be tight, and because I came out and happen to like other guys, you can't fucking talk to me or be my fucking friend? It's not like I am going to try to fuck you or get you to fuck me. No offense, but you aren't my type."

Edward inhaled sharply and continued.

"That's not even the point though. I saw you were having a shitty night last night, and I tried to talk to you and you attacked me. You call me a fag, and then even after I offer you a ride home, you refuse to be seen leaving the house because you're afraid your friends would see you leaving with me. Oh heaven forbid that should happen!" Tears rimmed Edward's eyes.

"No dude, that wasn't it at all. I just didn't wanna see anyone. It had nothing to do with you. I was crying, and I just didn't want the attention that would have come if people saw me like that."

"Whatever… Just leave."

"No, I'm gonna plop my ass down next to you until you decide to eat this deliciously chocolaty donut or until I have to go home" Jasper grinned as he mimicked the ultimatum Edward had given him last night.

Edward didn't know what to think. He wanted to just sit there and let Jasper be bored, but he also didn't feel like company, so he just wanted to eat the damn doughnut so Jasper would leave.

He settled for staring at Jasper and then putting the back of his hand against Jasper's forehead. "Are you sick?"

Confusion decorated Jasper's face. "No, I'm feeling fine. Why did you ask that?"

"Because you're making an effort to talk to me. I can't figure out why, which leads me to believe you're ill."

Jasper shook his head and stood up. He knew he wasn't going to be getting anywhere with Edward today. So he left the mountain dew like Edward asked and took the doughnut down to his mom.

After a few minutes Edward's mom came back up to his room. He was visibly upset so she just sat down next him without a word. A few minutes passed, and Edward decided to speak.

"Mom, I've got something to tell. Please don't get mad at me or kick me out of the house." Edward couldn't look up as he said this.

"Sweetie, you're my only son, I wouldn't kick you out of the house."

"Um…" He stuttered "I'm… Well uh… I'm gay." Edward almost chocked on the word as it came out. "Please say you don't hate me or think poorly of me. I have no other choice mom."

"Tanya told me sweetie. I've known for a couple of weeks." Edward's mother replied.

"She what!"

"She told me on accident sweetie. It just slipped out. She made me promise not to bring it up to you. I'm not mad; I just don't understand how you cannot like women. I mean I was talking to Mrs. Newton a couple of weeks ago about it since she has a gay nephew, and she said it didn't really change him or anything. So I figure it's okay for you to be gay." Edward interrupted his mother

"Hold up, Mrs. Newton, as in Mike Newton's mom?"

"Well, yeah." She stated, while giving her son a 'duh' look.

"Oh my God, mother. You made my life at school a living hell! She told Mike and he spread it around! I can't believe you would talk to somebody about this and not me first!" He was almost yelling by the time he was finished.

"I'm sorry Edward, I didn't know. I mean I accept you for whatever you may be, but you have to understand, that my only son isn't going to give me grandchildren. I was sad, and I don't blame you, I just wanted to talk about it to someone." Edward's mother started crying at her admission and the room fell silent with the exception of a few sniffles.

Edward scooted over and hugged his mom. "It's not okay, but I forgive you. I've only got a few more months here and then I can go to college and be rid of the hick-minded people." He laughed, trying to break the sullen mood that was in the room. Edward's mom hugged him back and then started the interrogation.

"So is that why you and Alice broke up? Because you're gay?"

Edward only nodded.

"Is Jasper your boyfriend? Did you two get into a lover's quarrel last night?" Edward's mom raised her eyebrows a couple of time to show she was jesting.

"No, we got into a fight because he's an asshole who decided to stop being my friend because I like guys."

"That fucker!"

"Language mother." Edward chastised, but couldn't keep from laughing. The rest of the afternoon Edward talked to his mother about what was happening at school and what had happened between him and Jasper.

With the truth out at home, Edward was relieved. Now Edward only wished he could fast forward time to after school was over. However, Monday loomed over him like an axe to a man on death row. It was unavoidable, and he was dreading it.

AN: Thanks for reading!

Songs used for this chapter

Lost and Found (Acoustic) - Senses Fail

In Coma (Acoustic) - Dead Poetic