Title: Here Comes Santa Claus
Author: Très Méchante
Characters/Pairing: Det. John Munch, Det. Fin Tutuola, Capt. Don Cragen, special appearance by Det. Elliot Stabler
Summary: It's Christmas for the detectives of SVU, so of course the weird just keeps coming. A pair of drabbles.
Rating: Mature for crudeness
Spoilers: None
Word Count: 200 words (2 unconnected drabbles)
Warning: Crude humour; bad pun.
Disclaimer: Well, the story is mine, but the characters, most assuredly, are not. Given the content of these drabbles, it's probably better that way.
Archive: Only with permission.
Inspired by title: "Here Comes Santa Claus" by Alvin & the Chipmunks
Fin loved Christmas in New York – even the perps and scum got into the festive spirit. Case in point being the pimp in a Santa hat being manhandled by Munch back to car where three ladies of the morning, noon or night waited.
The pimp struggled against Munch's grip. "I ain't done nothin' wrong, man! I'm just helpin' to spread a little Christmas cheer."
"Right. You're a veritable Santa Claus. And these are your elves," Munch scoffed, pointing to the trio of prostitutes.
Fin shook his head sadly. "Of course he's Santa Claus," he chided. "Don't you recognize his ho-ho-hos."
Wolf whistles and catcalls erupted in the squad room when Detectives Munch and Stabler came through the door. No one even blinked at Munch in a Santa suit; everyone was too focused on bare-chested glittering Stabler.
"Lookie what Santa brought!" someone laughed.
"Hey Santa, I've been good this year!"
A passing file clerk asked, "Who's getting that in their stocking?"
"I am."
Everyone turned to look at Cragen.
"Detective Munch, get rid of that silly outfit. Detective Stabler, perhaps you'd care to step into my office and explain why you look like a Chippendales version of the Sugar Plum Fairy?"
-end-