Disclaimer: The characters, settings, etc. of the Harry Potter (and, in this case, the LOTR) series are not mine. I just play with them.
Severus Snape decided that he hated his life. It was official. It didn't get much worse than being locked in a broom closet with a hobbit. A hobbit! Severus had seen many magical creatures in his lifetime, but none of them had caused him much trouble. Actually, none of them had caused him any trouble. Until, of course, this short, hairy-footed fellow from "The Shire" turned up seemingly bent on ruining his life.
The hobbit was having a successful go at it, too. He had, in his month at Hogwarts, managed to burn Snape's hand, tread on his toes, and annoy him with pointless questions innumerable times. Snape had reached his limit when he tried to stop that fight. Why he hadn't stayed out of the damn thing, he did not know. Why he didn't remember that he was a Slytherin and that Slytherins would not really care about students harassing one another, he did not know. Why he cared that Crabbe and Goyle were picking on the hairy-footed nuisance, he did not know.
He did know, however, that he had intervened. He had demanded Crabbe and Goyle stop picking on Frodo when Neville Longbottom came barreling down the hall, screaming something about Potter and danger. He did know that Longbottom ran straight into him, that he had grabbed onto the first thing he could as he fell into the wall, and that he dragged the thing with him as he fell through it. He and the thing fell right through the bricks into a hidden broom closet.
Severus Snape had been the Potions Master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for many years. He knew why there were hidden broom closets in the school. The only person with access to them was Argus Filch. The hidden closets locked from the outside so that students who managed to get themselves inside would be stuck until Filch decided he wanted to. Thus, Severus knew that until Argus happened upon them, he would be stuck in the closet with the thing he brought with him. And lucky for him, the thing was that damned hobbit.
They had stood there in silence for about fifteen minutes. Snape had been running through possible escape plans during that time, still gripping the clothing of the person he had brought with him. "If only there was a way to contact Filch," he mused aloud.
"Well, Professor, I am sure a wise wizard like you must have some idea," the voice of his mystery companion cut through the darkness. "But for a start," it continued, "don't wizards know how to create light in darkness? I must confess I find the blackness oppressive."
Severus, hoping he was mistaken in his conjectures of the voice's owner, muttered, "Lumos," and looked down at the person beside him. Far too tiny to be any other sixth year, Frodo Baggins stared up at him, his blue eyes wide with concern.
"Oh good lord," Snape sighed. He was very upset that the one student he had managed to grab a hold of was Frodo. He would have much rather preferred one of the attractive Slytherin girls. Even Crabbe or Goyle would have been better company. With them, Severus could talk all he wanted and would never have to worry about them responding to or understanding even half of what he said.
"Which lord?" Frodo asked, his eyes lighting up with excitement. "I knew a dark lord once! Actually, I helped to defeat him and save Middle Earth."
"Intriguing." Snape replied, narrowing his eyes.
"So which lord?" Frodo asked once again.
"I am not sure. It's a muggle expression I picked up when I lived in muggle London." Severus explained, releasing Frodo and looking around for something to sit on. He imagined they would be stuck there for at least a few hours and decided it would be smart to get comfortable.
"Ah," said Frodo, nodding as if he knew precisely what Snape had been talking about. "What's a muggle?" He asked a few moments later.
"A non-magic human," Snape replied while seating himself on a large crate marked 'Floor Cleaner.'
"Ah!" Frodo exclaimed. His eyes lit up with excitement and understanding. "Like Aragorn!"
"Ara-who?" Snape asked, his disinterest apparent in his wandering gaze.
"Aragorn! The King of Men!"
Snape chuckled. "There is no King of Men, Frodo. That's ridiculous. One King for all of mankind!" He chuckled again. "Why that is quite possibly one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard."
Glancing at him, Snape saw that Frodo had assumed the expression of one who had been struck. For a moment, he felt badly for hurting him with his words. And in that same moment, he felt positively unnerved by the intensity of Frodo's blue eyes. He imagined the decreasing amount of oxygen in the closet was affecting his mind.
"Ahem," Frodo said, looking away from Snape's intense gaze. Snape rolled his eyes upon seeing this. It was an obvious sign of Frodo's weakness and willingness to be dominated.
His mind suddenly filled with images of Frodo willfully being dominated by a tall and looming figure. A figure, he noticed, who seemed to own a sneer similar to his own. Snape cleared his throat nervously as these lewd thoughts danced through his mind. He wondered why he was acting this way. It was not natural for him to have such thoughts upon simply entering this broom closet. For one thing, he wasn't homosexual. For another, Frodo wasn't even a human. Why he was reacting this way was beyond him. Suddenly, it dawned on him. The closet had to be charmed, he was sure of it. Stupid seventh year boys had probably charmed it to put their prude girlfriends in the mood. Severus Snape was convinced he had managed to get himself locked in the one hidden shagging closet in the school.
"Well, at least we may get out of here sooner than I originally surmised," he thought aloud. It was a Friday night and someone must have planned to come in that evening with the intentions of seducing his girlfriend.
"What?" said Frodo, looking with eager interest to companion. Severus wished fervently that Frodo's bangs would not fall so strikingly across his forehead. They only accentuated his eyes.
"Nothing," Snape growled, frustrated with himself. "I was just thinking that we might be able to get out of here sometime today. I recall Argus saying that he often washes floors on Fridays."
"Oh," Frodo sighed, some the brightness fleeing from his eyes. "Do you suppose he does it late on Fridays, Professor?"
Snape stared at him. Just what was the hobbit getting after? "Why do you ask, Frodo?" Severus tried to ignore the airy quality his voice adopted upon saying his companion's name.
"Well," began Frodo, blushing and looking away from Snape's gaze. "It's just that I have always wanted to get to know you better, Professor. And this accident has provided us with the perfect opportunity," he paused to raise his bright eyes to meet Snape's, "to get to know each other extremely well."
Snape felt his own cheeks flush at the hobbit's words. His blood seemed to turn to fire in his veins; he felt a pleasant stirring sensation in the pit of his stomach. "How do you propose we become better acquainted with one another, Mr. Baggins?" He rose from his seat on the crate and stepped towards the tiny creature.
"Oh, Professor," Frodo said softly, walking towards Snape and allowing the Potions Master to take him in his arms. "I am sure you must have some ideas."
"Frodo," Snape began, looking down at the small form enveloped by his arms with an adoring gaze. "Frodo, I cannot begin to explain these feelings I have for you. Ever since we entered this closet I have been overwhelmed by a desire to…a desire…" His voice trailed off as he found himself lost in the sapphire depths of Frodo's eyes.
"Don't say another word," the hobbit replied. "Just kiss me, Professor. Oh, please kiss me."
Severus did not need further encouragement. He ran one hand through Frodo's dark curls, the other coming to rest upon his slender neck. "Oh Frodo," he whispered as he lowered his face to meet the hobbit's.
Their lips were an inch apart; Severus could feel Frodo's hot breath mingling with his own when the door to the closet swung open.
"Well, Professor," said Argus Filch, standing in the doorway. His smile was slimy and toothy as he took in the view before him. "I am glad we finally found you."
Snape looked from Argus to the small childish figure in his arms. With the sudden rush of fresh air that had entered the closet came a wave of disgust towards his current position and previous intentions. All desire to touch or be near the hobbit had vanished and was replaced with an even more fervent dislike for the creature.
He released Frodo and stepped away from him. He remembered to sneer immediately, hoping that it would make the blush on his cheeks less noticeable. "The next time you pass out and stop breathing, Mr. Baggins, do not count on me to give you mouth to mouth. It is very lucky that Filch here opened the door. If the fresh air had not revived you, I am not sure what could have been done to save you." And with that, Snape stalked out of the closet, practically running down the hall to his dungeons.