AN: So, I can't believe that THIS is all I have ready to post in honor of premiere night, but alas, it is the sad truth. The alternate ending for 'well, bless my soul' (which will also go into this collection) isn't ready yet and neither is the next chapter of Queen of Hearts or my Halloween story or the next part of my Damon Salvatore/Ruby/Dean story so...this is all I got. And I can't just NOT post something in honor of tonight's episode. I have a feeling it's going to be epic. So...yeah. This is all I have for you. On the bright side, if you read it after tonight's episode it might cheer you up because I have a dreadful feeling that the eppy is going to be an angstfest.
But I am excited about this collection. Basically, it's a collection of missing scenes from 'well, bless my soul' along with an alternate ending that I am working hard on getting done before October. If you don't know what 'well, bless my soul' is, it was a story of mine that I wrote that was a very AU Dean/Ruby story that spanned the entire length of SPN seasons 1 through 5. And there is just so many things that could have happened in the story that I never got a chance to touch on, so...I started this collection. So far a lot of the missing scenes are very episode specific and I even have a few Ruby-centric prequels to the story. Anyway, I really need to stop rambling now. It's just if you haven't read 'well, bless my soul' the stories in this collection are not going to make a lick of sense to you.
Anyway, enjoy this short, wacky 'well, bless my soul' missing scene. Other missing scenes in this collection will not be as wacky or as short as this one is. I promise.
The main title of this collection is also from ''Say (All I Need)'' by OneRepublic.
The Air I Breathe
Written by Becks Rylynn
Title: Night Light
Summary: Under the influence of yellow fever, Dean makes a phone call.
Genre: Humor/Drama
Rating: K+
Timeline: Season four.
Spoilers: 4.06; Yellow Fever.
Warnings: None.
Notes: So...this one is just a wacky Yellow Fever tag that I couldn't resist writing. But I am working on the alternate ending and it's about halfway finished so expect that sometime relatively soon.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
Night Light
The unpleasant sound of the phone ringing tears her out of her peaceful slumber and she groans, burying her face in her pillow. A few colorful phrases slip through her dry lips as she rolls over and pushes herself onto her elbows, blindly reaching for the phone. Her first instinct it to throw it across the room and go back to sleep. Evidently, she answers it instead. ''I hate you,'' is her groggy, cheerful greeting to whoever has dared to disturb her sleep. She is a single mother with a five year old son, a full time job and a Winchester for a...whatever he is to her. Boyfriend? Partner? Friend with benefits?
Oh, that's a way too complicated thing to be thinking about while she's tired and cranky. The point is, her life is exhausting and when she has a day off and Wyatt's at school she wants one of two things. Sleep or sex. And since Dean's not here, she had been looking forward to a nap. It's tiring to be her, okay?
''Do you lock your doors?''
She squints into the darkness of the room, the closed curtains blocking out the noon sun and she brings a hand to her forehead. ''Dean?''
''Ruby, this is serious. We have no time for - oh. Yes, hi. It's Dean. Do you lock your doors?''
She pauses briefly and clears her scratchy throat. ''Have you been drinking?''
''Actually, I've decided to quit drinking. Do you know what excessive drinking does to your liver? It's frightening. Also, there could be a chance I'm an alcoholic. What do you suppose I do about that? AA? Therapy? Hypnotism? Oh, no. I don't want to be hypnotized. I could be forced to kill people. But...yes. I've been drinking. I don't see your point. Do you lock your doors?''
She holds the phone away from her ear and frowns at it. Great. He's drunk. Drunk and...possibly high? Well, something weird is going on here. ''This is what you woke me up for?''
''Can you just answer the question please?''
''Oh, for the love of...Yes,'' she sighs, rubbing at her tired eyes. ''I lock my doors.''
''What about windows?''
''Closed and locked all night.''
''Do you always have salt in the house?''
She sinks back into the covers, eyes shutting involuntarily. ''Mmmhmm.''
''You don't smoke, do you?''
''No.''
''And you have a carbon monoxide alarm and a smoke alarm?''
''Mmmhmm.''
''Kitchen knives. Are they out of Wyatt's reach? Maybe you should switch to plastic.''
''Uh...Dean...this is getting a little - ''
''You're an artist. You don't breathe in too many paint fumes, do you? What about Wyatt? Paints are out of his reach, right? Ruby, he could get into your paints and EAT them. Oh my GOD...'' His voice sounds panicked and she can hear his breathing speed up on the other line, like he's about to have some kind of panic attack.
Opening her eyes, she pushes herself back into a sitting position, now feeling wide awake and both concerned and amused. ''Dean, he's five. Not two.''
''What if an easel falls on him and traps him underneath?''
''Well, that'd be...wacky.''
''Do you run background checks on your friends?''
''No.''
''You should. What about Wyatt's friends?''
''Do I run background checks on...a bunch of five year olds? Um, no.''
''What about their parents? What if he's hanging around with a bunch of kids that have wacked out parents? Junkies, convicts, people who like BRITNEY SPEARS! I don't think he should go to the playground anymore. Some of those thingamabobs can really hurt a kid, you know. A-And germs. Oh, the GERMS! Ruby, it is a very dangerous world out there and you should always hold his hand and watch out for ceiling fires and look both ways before you cross the street and is he being bullied? He might not tell you if he's being bullied 'cause he's a tough cookie but statistics show that a lot of serial killers had some kind of significant trauma in their younger lives. And being bullied is a trauma. Does he wear sunscreen? He should. Sun causes cancer. Also, I don't think you should leave the house after dark. There are dangers around every freaking corner.''
He's gasping for air by the time he's finally finished talking and she can hear him muttering panicked sounding curses and ''oh my gods'' and its official. He has lost his damn mind. She pulls the phone away from her ear, looks at it for a long time and still can't figure out what to say. At last, she settles for an incredulous. ''What is wrong with you?''
''You know, Wyatt's allergic to mushrooms,'' he says in response. ''You should make sure to tell everyone that so they know.''
''...Riiiight. So...clearly something is very wrong here.''
''Hey, did you ever see that episode of Seinfeld with the kid who lived in a bubble? Not an all around bad idea.''
''Okay, you did not just suggest turning my son into a bubble boy.''
''I don't think he should watch TV anymore either. Too much violence. I mean, have you seen some of those cartoons? There's the guy who walks around hunting bunnies and someone's always getting hit with an anvil or running off a cliff. Cartoons are NOT suited for children, Ruby. Oh! He shouldn't read books either.''
''Dean!'' Another voice joins in on the craziness, but even Sam's obvious frustration doesn't deter Dean.
''And he sleeps with a night light, right? Because sometimes nightmares can lead to psychological conditions and - hey! Sam! What are you doing? Let go! Are you evil? You're evil, aren't you?''
''I told you not to bother her!''
''Oh, stuff it, Sam! I need to make sure they're safe!''
''Let go of the phone, Dean.''
''You let go!'' There's a series of muffled grunts and thuds and then there's a crash, followed by Dean's frightened and quite offended yelp. ''You pushed me! What if I had hit my head? I could have had an aneurysm and DIED!''
''Ruby?''
Sam's voice rings out loud and clear and honestly, it takes her a moment to say anything back because her mouth is hanging open and she cannot come up with one logical reason for Dean's paranoia. What the fuck is going on? Has his life finally caught up to him? Oh, geez, has he had some sort of nervous breakdown? ''Sam?''
''Uh...hi. So...'' He sounds sheepish and she can just imagine him fidgeting uncomfortably and wincing. ''How's your day going?''
''Ruby!'' Dean's voice calls out. ''You're on birth control, right? Because Winchesters have very powerful little swimmers - ''
''Dean!'' Sam's voice is loud is enough that she has to hold the phone away from her ear with a grimace. ''I will tape your mouth shut. I swear I will.''
''Sam, what the hell is going on?'' She bursts out. ''What's wrong with him?''
''It's a long story,'' Sam sighs.
''So shorten it.''
''Ruby - ''
''Explain, Sam. Now.'' Hopefully, he's smart enough to know that when she uses that tone of voice, she means business. That's her Mama Bear voice. And nobody messes with the Mama Bear voice. Well, nobody sane anyway. Dean has been known to challenge her on occasion. But he's not exactly sane, is he? That's painfully apparent right now.
''Dean was infected with...something and he's just a little scared right now.''
Way to be vague. ''Is he scared because he was infected or was he infected with something that makes him scared?''
''At this point? I'm thinkin' it might be kinda both.''
She sighs heavily and brings a hand to her forehead. ''Okay, well...is he going to be all right?''
''Yeah, he'll be...he'll be fine.''
''Are you sure?''
He hesitates. He hesitates and that's enough for her to worry. ''I should get back to him.''
She draws in a breath and swallows hard. Suddenly this situation is a whole lot less amusing and a whole lot more scary. ''Sam!'' Dean's voice makes her jump, the fear hiding in his voice unmistakable. It doesn't make her any less worried.
''What's wrong?'' She asks before she can stop herself.
''I don't know. Probably another spider. Look, I'll have him call you back when he's...less inclined to have a panic attack, okay?''
She tries to smile and find the humor in the situation. ''Yeah. Thanks. You two be careful.''
''Aren't we always? I'll see you, Ruby. Just try not to worry. Everything will be fine.''
When she ends the call before Dean can call out another plea for his brother, she sighs and sinks back into the pillows, heaving a sigh. Sometimes she really hates this. Sometimes she really hates his job and all the fear and anxiety that come with it. She hates lying in bed at night wondering he he's hurt or bleeding or if he's even still alive. She just got him back. She can't lose him again. Sometimes it really sucks being a hunter's...whatever she is. There's fear all the time when you're with a Winchester.
Shaking her head, she tries to clear the worry from her mind and lays back down, closing her eyes. But his rambles have gotten to her and it only takes her a few minutes to realize she will not be getting back to sleep. ''Damn it, Dean,'' she snarls, stumbling out of bed. Muttering under her breath about stupid Winchesters and their stupid paranoia, she stomps out of the room and goes to make sure Wyatt's night light still works.
When he's all cured and ready to exact revenge on that stupid fucking evil cat that made him scream like a little girl, you'd better believe he gets an earful from Ruby. After all, nobody messes with the Mama Bear when she's hibernating for the sole purpose of making her a paranoid mess of nerves and changing her from the cool mom everyone wants to the weird mom who keeps hand sanitizer in her purse and embarrasses her son on the playground by giving his friend's parents the Spanish Inquisition.
That's just wrong.
end
AN: It's almost embarrassing that this was all I had ready to post on the epic premiere night. Oh, well. While I have your attention, does anyone have any ideas for missing scenes from this story? I have a whole list of little oneshot missing scenes that I want to write, but if there's anything that anyone wants to see let me know. Even other alternate endings. Is there anything that didn't happen in 'well, bless my soul' that you wish would have happened? Let me know.