"C'mon! C'mon! This way!"
Mabel bounded along through the evergreen woods, leaving behind a river of squeaky giggles in her wake. Trailing a couple yards behind, Dipper tried his best to keep up, but it felt like she was purposely leading him down every gully, over every fallen tree, between every pack of prickly shrubs, and every other sort of obstacle the forest had to offer.
"Wait up!" He gasped as she took him up over a particularly steep hill slope. "Mabel!"
Despite his protests, his twin didn't slow down for the briefest of moments. Hurriedly she hustled along, relentlessly urging her brother on all the while "Keep going, we're almost there! C'mon!"
"Almost where?" Dipper panted as he wormed his way between two heavy stones. "You haven't even told me where we're going!"
"We're going to see the best thing ever! That's what!" Her eyes sparkled brightly with unbridled glee as she pressed on, eager to show off her discovery. He had no choice but to continue trailing at her heels, even though they had been going at a steady jog almost the entire time since they had left the Mystery Shack. Thankfully, just as he started to develop a stitch in his side, Mabel's pace finally began to slacken.
"This is it...I saw them right here." She gasped excitedly. Dipper finally slid to a halt by her side.
"Saw what?" He pried, wiping at the thick sheen of sweat that was coating his forehead. This particular patch of woods honestly didn't seem all that different from any of of the other surrounding acres of towering forest. Mabel however didn't answer. She was too busy searching like a hound on the hunt. Meticulously the girl checked behind every bush, up in every tree, and even under every large rock that she could lift.
"I know they're around here...they're definitely around here..." She mumbled assuringly to herself, further piquing her twin's curiosity. The girl started to coax gently, "Hello? Hellooooo! Don't be scared! Come out, come out wherever you are!"
"You know, I could help if you told me what-" She hastily dismissed off his offer with a wave of her arm.
"Nuh-uh, no spoilers!" The girl flatly refused. "Give me just a couple more seconds. they're right around here,I swear-"
A bizarre, high-pitched tone suddenly rent the air, forcing Dipper to jolt violently in surprise. If he didn't know any better, he could have sworn that he had just heard a miniature scream. Moving like the wind, Mabel plowed over to a nearby stream with a yelp and a splash.
"Let go! Let go! Nuh-uh, she's not your snack to stuff your dumb fat face with! Let go! Shoo! Shooshooshoo! Shoo!" Robbed of its meal, a large bullfrog bounced away with a grumpy croak. The preteen brunette sighed in relief and immediately began to coo comfortingly into her hands.
"Shhh...there there, it's okay...you're fine...don't worry..." She rocked her arms back and forth while she murmured assuringly. "He's gone now..."
"What is it? What did you-" Dipper involuntarily shouted when she opened her palms to reveal what he first thought was a little pink ball of pure light. On closer examination, he soon realized that it was a humanoid creature, glowing with a blazing aura. Still a little dazed from its brush with danger, the tiny thing shook its head, and then with a barely audible titter it beat its sparkling pink wings and majestically took to the air.
"Whoa..." The corners of his mouth rapidly curled into an awestruck grin. "Mabel, you've found-"
"FAIRIES!" She flapped her arms and screamed in unchecked delight. As if on cue, the woods around them seemed to come alive as at least half-a-dozen brightly colorful little beings descended upon the area. They zipped and twirled around the twins heads with incredible grace, leaving sparkling jewel-like trails in their wakes. All of them chorused together with beautiful chime-like laughter, as if they were treating every moment as a gift to be sweetly treasured.
Dipper laughed as one flew by, looking for all the word like a tiny comet. Mabel meanwhile looked like she was on the verge of losing her mind with joy. To the young girl it was nothing short of an absolute dream come true. Unable to contain herself, she pranced and bounced amongst them.
"Look! Look, Dipper! Look!" One of the fairies started to fly about in loop, and the preteen happily joined in. Round and round she spun on one foot, until she nearly lost her balance. "Dipper, look! They're beeeeaaauuautiful!"
He smiled and nodded furiously in agreement. "Yeah, they really are. I don't know why I've never read about these before..."
"So read about them now! Check your weird journal! Check it!" Mabel begged while she tried to get one to land in her palm. "See what else it says about them! Mabel needs to know more! Mabel needs to know ALL the things about them!"
"On it!" He dug the old yellowing tome out of his vest pocket and started flipping through its timeworn pages. The boy couldn't lie, the sparkly little things were a genuinely welcome change of pace from the usual array of the horrible and weird that they regularly encountered in these mysterious woods.
"Okay so let's see...two-headed rock snake...floating disembodied eyeballs...Oregonian thunderbird...ah! All right this looks like it. B-" In one harsh instant, all the wonder and charm of the moment was brutally snatched away from the boy as the unexpectedly terrible was brought to his attention.
"What's it say?" By now Mabel had managed to get at least three of them to twirl and fly all about her. The girl couldn't have possibly been any happier unless a herd of unicorns galloped through. "Are there a lot of them living around here? Ooohh, please say yes! There's gotta be, right? I-"
"BARF FAIRIES!" Dipper wailed. Mabel stopped her dancing and shot her brother the dirtiest look she could conjure up.
"Stoppit, Dipper!" She placed her hands on her hips and huffed. "Just because they're not five-headed dragons or whatever boys like doesn't mean you have to ruin it for-"
"No! I mean that's what they're called!" He held the book high and frantically jabbed a finger at the relevant entry. "Barf Fairies! Mabel, they're barf fairies!"
"Huh?" The girl puzzled for a couple seconds, then burst out beaming as a winged delight delicately touched down on her shoulder. She giggled as she stroked its head with a finger. "Well, that's a silly name! Why would the author guy call them that?"
Her answer came when a vibrant orange fairy fluttering overhead erupted with a diabolical racket. Its tiny eyes bulged, and its teeny head bobbed up and down as it began to wheeze and gag, sounding like a house cat trying to gag up a giant hairball. Just when the startled twins thought it was about to burst, it fired off a blast of bright sparkly goo, which landed on the ground in a putrid-smelling splatter.
Mabel instantly went wide-eyed in disgust. As she tried to process the revolting sight, the fairy standing on her shoulder suddenly began to shudder and groan. The preteen shrieked and hurriedly batted her off. "GROSS!"
The creature was sent flying off just in time, leaving an almost impossibly large trail of projectile vomit in her wake. Soon, the rest started to follow their friends' utterly repulsive example. Fairy after fairy abruptly jerked to a stop in mid air, gagged up a foul rainbow goo, and then promptly returned to their play with sickeningly sweet giggles.
"LOOK OUT!" Dipper barely missed being practically dive-bombed from above.
"Ew! Ewwww!" Mabel shrieked. The girl's mood had taken a rapid turnabout from only a minute before. By now she even had picked up a stick that she frantically tried to ward them off with. Glittering spew piles began to cover the forest floor, with each one giving off a foul odor like a miniature compost heap.
After avoiding another revolting spray from above, Dipper dashed over to his sister. Moving fast, he shielded her head with the old leather-bound book, and together the two hurriedly took off. With a mad dash they retreated from the range of the shockingly foul creatures. Once safe from the revolting horror the two paused to catch their breaths as hacking gags and unreasonably loud retching continued to fill their air not too far away.
"...This...is probably one of the worst things I've ever seen." Dipper stuck out his tongue in revulsion. The boy then glanced to his side and immediately gave himself a mental kick in the rear. Mabel unsurprisingly looked crushed with disappointment, and he was sure he hadn't just made things any better. Few things in this world were worse than seeing his twin utterly heartbroken. Quickly he sprang to work in a hasty attempt to bring her mood back up.
"Uh...hey, it's okay though!" He hastily slapped on a smile and flipped the book back open. "Don't worry, I'm sure there's something just like them here in the woods. Or maybe something better, like a cuddly...erm..."
He had no idea what in the world a "One-Eyed Murder Gopher" was, and right now he didn't want to know. It didn't take long for him to decide that maybe they had enough of the paranormal for the day. While his twin continued to stare forlornly at the magical joy that almost was, he tucked the book away into his vest and wracked his mind for a change of plans.
"Hey...we haven't played 'Spin the Pig' in a while, have we?" He blindly threw out. "How about as soon as we get back to the Shack, you go get Waddles while I'll find Wendy or Soos? That'd be fun, right?"
Thankfully this did just the trick. At the mention of one of her favorite games his twin quickly perked up. "And can we play for keeps?"
"Uh...yeah." He grinned, despite having no idea what rule she was talking about. "Want to get going?"
"Okay! These things are the grossest, anyway." She stuck her tongue out at the revolting fairies. Together they headed back in the direction of home, happy to take leave of today's misadventure. Before they got far however, Mabel suddenly motioned for them to stop as something caught her eye.
"What is it?" Dipper watched her zip off into the nearby stream.
"Just a moment! I have to fix something!" She replied before bouncing off. For a few moments she wadded about, lips purses as she searched with a hyperconcentrated focus. "It's okay, I won't hurt you this time...come out, come out where-GOTCHA!"
A couple seconds later she raced back, with sopping wet shoes and the fat bullfrog carefully cradled in hand. "Sorry, froggy friend. I was wrong. You can go munch all you want, and you can trust Mabel on that...c'mon, it's okay."
The frog tilted its head curiously at her, croaked, then hopped off to grab a bit to eat. As she dried her hands on her skirt, the petite brunette shrugged. "It's for the best."
"Oh, trust me," Dipper was quick to assure her with the firmest of nods. "I am so not going to argue with you on this..."
In the quickest of scenes in "Gideon Rises", while flipping through the journal Dipper does indeed briefly mention the phrase "barf fairy," which was all the inspiration I needed to write this. Whether that's a good thing or not is highly debatable.
-SGA