A whistle blew, stopping everyone right where they were. "Alright girls, practice is over! Good job today." With those words from their coach, the volleyball team walked off the court and sat down on the bleachers. Maki sighed with relief, grabbing her water bottle and guzzling down some needed H2O. Practices had been getting more intense with the first game on the horizon, but she didn't mind it. If they were going to win, they all needed to sharpen their skills and be at their best. These were the kind of thoughts she kept to herself, though. As a freshman, and the only freshman on the team, her opinion had been proven to not be held in high regard. No matter how right she actually was.
The problem had been that normally freshman didn't join the team. It wasn't just volleyball, but any sports. They weren't good enough, and even if they had the skills, they'd likely be redshirted anyway. It was supposed to be a non-issue. That wasn't the case when it came to Maki, though. She seemed to be naturally talented at the sport, having been playing it since she was a kid. It was enough to impress the university coach, who was more than happy to have Maki on the team regardless of age. That would be that, and even if there was some grumbling, it wasn't enough for anyone to make a big deal out of it. She was on the second team anyway, which wasn't as highly regarded as the first team (obviously).
Except that one of the members of the first team got hurt, opening up a spot. When it was Maki who was chosen to take said spot, the grumbling got a lot louder. A freshman getting onto the first team after a single practice? That wasn't supposed to be how it went. Those who were older - AKA all of the other members - were far from happy about it. Not that Maki cared. She knew her skills were top notch, and she wasn't shy about thinking that way. If they didn't want her there, then they should've been better and gotten the spot themselves. It wasn't her fault that they didn't measure up to her.
Despite how much she didn't care, things hadn't been all that smooth up to that point. There was definitely some sort of freeze-out going on, where her teammates would do their best to make sure the ball didn't go her way. Unless the ball was hit directly at her, the chances of her touching it had become minimal. In retaliation to what she felt was unfair practices, she would dart out of position in order to steal the hit from another teammates. Naturally, this didn't help ingratiate her with the others, which led to increasingly angry back and forths. She nearly came to blows with Hitomi, which would've surely ended badly... for her. Hitomi probably would've beat her three ways to Sunday. If it wasn't for Nozomi, Maki might've ended up getting herself kicked off the team.
When it came to her university life, it all seemed to somehow revolve around Nozomi. That wasn't how it was supposed to be, but there was something about that woman that made quite the impression. She wasn't the captain of the team - Eli was - but as far as Maki was concerned, she might as well be. Her skills on the court were excellent, but it was the way she handled all the disparate personalities that was unrivaled. She could act goofy and still lower the guards of hard-nosed teammates like Umi or Hitomi, or she could become serious and inspire others to work their hardest.
Somehow she could be friends with anyone, but it always threw Maki for a loop whenever Nozomi would talk to her. As far as she had been able to tell, not a single member of the team liked her, yet here was the best - and hottest - member of the team wanting to start conversation with her. Not only that, but she even found time to defend Maki when the others were treating her with little to no respect. It frustrated Maki that someone would do all that for her, yet she was so socially inept that she couldn't even hold a conversation. She wanted to improve in more things than just volleyball, if only to impress Nozomi.
One thing she was trying to improve on was her team chemistry. Literally anything would be an improvement over how it was at present. There was one thing she felt that she could try doing, though it made her anxious to even think about it. Like other sports teams, the girls would go into the locker room to change once practice was done. Not Maki, though. She had no desire to have others staring at her in varying states of undress. It wasn't really that different from wearing a bikini at the beach, but it also felt really different. She didn't have an explanation for why it did: it just did. And some of her teammates even showered there! Where anyone could see them! ... Naked! She wouldn't even be comfortable doing that around her best friend... if she had a best friend.
She had to admit that walking home as soon as practice was done wasn't exactly the most friendly thing to do. Maybe if she changed with her teammates, they'd all grow closer and not want to replace the ball with her. Well, maybe that didn't make any sense whatsoever, but at least she'd get the added bonus of watching Nozomi change. Trying to pretend that didn't make her a total pervert, she finished re-hydrating herself and went into the locker room.
Her main worry was that her showing up there for the first time would mean the others would point it out and make a big deal about it. Of course, they promptly did so. Half the team automatically turned to look at her, which made her want to immediately run in the other direction. She didn't like how they were looking at her, and she found it difficult to look at any of them in return. Why did she have to be so damn intimidated by people she could easily argue with for hours?
"The fresh princess of Tokyo is here!" Nozomi's shout was enough to get the rest of the locker room looking her way. Maki cringed at the strange nickname, inwardly shrinking under the gazes of her teammates. None of them look particularly friendly. At best, they looked uninterested. Only Nozomi looked happy that she was there, bouncing over in her practice shorts and without a shirt and wow she really was bouncing. Bouncing bouncing... 'Ugh, get a grip, Nishikino!' Maki gulped as she found herself face to face with Nozomi. She was one of the tallest members of the team, but Nozomi somehow made her feel shorter. Her emotions really needed to come under control. "Ain't seen you 'round these parts."
"Well, uh..." What was she supposed to say to that? Probably something not utterly stupid, but her brain wasn't ready to cooperate. "I'm here now, aren't I?" She had prepared for this. Being the first one to practice, she'd changed in the locker room instead of in a bathroom stall like usual. Then she'd found out which locker was supposed to be hers and stashed her clothes in there. She had been prepared for this. If only her stupid mouth would get with the program.
She opened her locker and began to undress, her cheeks turning red as she refused to turn around and check if anyone was watching. It would just be her bra strap they'd see. That wasn't a big deal. And her panties... She didn't get that far, though. Only her shirt had been taken off when she felt a pair of hands grab her chest and squeeze.
Letting out an undignified scream, Maki jumped forward, escaping from the grabby pair of hands but also banging into the lockers. Wincing in pain, she turned to find Nozomi standing there with a grin on her face. It was like she wasn't even trying to hide the fact that it had been her. "N-Nozomi! What the hell was that?!"
"Orientation." Nozomi giggled and reached out, making Maki cover her chest, but it was just to pat her on the head. "All the newcomers get a washi washi!" Maki found that really hard to believe, but none of the others spoke to deny her claim. She could even see Umi starting to turn red. Jeez... Nozomi was really something. What that something was, Maki wasn't sure.
"W-Well, you got your weird orientation over with. Now can I please get dressed?" Trying to calm the blush that had risen on her face, Maki turned around to grab her shirt from her locker, but it seemed Nozomi wasn't quite done with her. Instead of leaving her alone, Nozomi hugged her from behind. Maki's breath caught in her throat.
"Aww, don't be mad, Makicchi. I was just teasin'." She leaned up and whispered in Maki's ear, sending shivers down her spine. "You've got some really ripe tomatoes, though. Not gonna lie." Attempts to curtail her blushing had failed. Positively burning now, she broke out of the hug and hurriedly pulled her shirt on before grabbing the rest of her clothes and slamming her locker shut.
"I-I have to go." She hugged her clothes tightly to her chest, refusing to look at anyone as she power walked her way out of the locker room. Everybody else was certainly looking at her, though. Their stares burned holes in her back, and she couldn't shake it even halfway across the gym. Why did she have to be so stupid? Sure, Nozomi grabbing her breasts out of nowhere was really weird, but apparently everyone else had gone through it. Why did she have to lose her cool and run out? Great, now she was jealous that Nozomi had been grabbing other girls' breasts. Why was she like this?
"Maki! Wait!" Hearing her name, Maki stopped and turned to see Nozomi running after her. She had put on a shirt, which was parts relieving and disappointing. Not that she'd ever admit that out loud. As Nozomi approached her, she didn't know what facial expression to make; what emotion to convey. Mostly, she was embarrassed about reacting like that in front of everyone, but especially Nozomi. She settled on a nonchalant expression with a tinge of red on her cheeks. That was something she couldn't really help. "I'm sorry about embarrassing you like that, Makicchi. I didn't mean to make you leave."
"It's... It's fine. I just... didn't expect it." She found it hard to look at Nozomi, lest she end up a stuttering mess. When she did though, it really did seem like Nozomi was being sincere about her apology. It made Maki feel worse about the way she had reacted. That wouldn't stop her from saying more stupid things, though. "Just keep your hands to yourself next time, alright?" She hadn't meant to be so abrasive like that, but Nozomi didn't seem to let it affect her. Giggling, she lifted her hands up in mock surrender.
"I'll keep my hands to myself next time. Scouts honor." Her laughter, her smile... It was so disarming. Somehow it just naturally put Maki at ease. It had done so since the first time she'd seen Nozomi's smile. She was even able to smile as well, though it wasn't as big and warm. That'd never been her style, really. "How about I make it up to you?"
"You don't really have to-"
"Oh, but I insist!" Nozomi didn't seem like the kind of person who would take no for an answer. "You got classes at noon tomorrow? We can have lunch together. My treat."
"Uh, no, I'm free then..." Maki couldn't really say no, or argue about it. Truth be told, her heart had begun to flutter the moment Nozomi had asked if she could make it up to her. The washi washi incident was now the furthest thing from her mind. She had been invited to have lunch with Nozomi... Nozomi! The woman that Maki had a low-key yet severely hardcore crush on. She really hoped that her mouth didn't continue to be utterly moronic and ruin things again.
"Great! Hope you don't mind Subway. Only the finest cuisine for you, Makicchi." The cutesy nickname made Maki blush, but it was better than 'the fresh princess of Tokyo'. They agreed to meet up the next day, with Nozomi giving her a wave before heading back to the locker room. Maki left the gym, but in much higher spirits than she had been just a few minutes ago. Nozomi wanted to have lunch with her. She was going to pay for it. It all sounded like some kind of date, and it made Maki's stomach start doing somersaults. Maybe Nozomi really did like her.
She had a hard time stopping herself from smiling the entire way back to her dorm.
The next morning was not as exciting and happy. In fact, it was more stressful than anything else. Due to having a morning class right before lunch, Maki didn't have time to prepare herself before the fated meeting. The best she could do was to dress a bit nicer for class, so therefore she'd be dressed nicer for lunch with Nozomi. What would be the proper attire for such an event, though? It wasn't a date, nor was it even a fancy restaurant. She wanted to look good for Nozomi, though. What was she going to wear?
She settled on a blue, knee-length skirt and a matching button-up shirt. It didn't seem too formal or too casual when she looked at herself extensively in the mirror. Normally she wouldn't be so bent out of shape about her appearance, but she'd never had anyone that she wanted to look good for. 'It's not a date,' she kept telling herself over and over, but that didn't stop her from feeling like a nervous wreck inside. How was she going to be able to pay attention in class?
Turns out she was able to pay attention, but not without feeling like she was going to have an anxiety attack at any moment. She was glad that she'd made an executive decision at the last moment to not wear lipstick, lest her classmates stare at her. They'd wonder why she was looking all gussied up. Ugh, she really had a problem with believing everybody was staring at her, judging her. Maybe because she'd stared at and judged people before, and now it was coming back to her in some sort of karmatic retribution. It made her super uncomfortable, and she hadn't found a way to make it any better yet.
It would be okay, though. She just needed to think about going to lunch with Nozomi. ... Actually, thinking about that made her more nervous. She needed to think of something else. Volleyball, maybe? That was something calming, and she enjoyed thinking about strategies she could implement if her teammates weren't stubborn pricks. Thinking about volleyball, however, didn't work too well. It only led to her thinking about Nozomi again, her body moving flawlessly as she chased after the ball and spiked it over the net without breaking a sweat. She was so incredible... Incredible enough that Maki didn't even realize the class had been dismissed until she blinked and found herself alone in the classroom with the professor. 'Shit...'
Luckily she had enough time to make it to Subway before it became noon, but unluckily that meant she had to stand around and wait for Nozomi. She stood outside the doors and tapped her foot, mostly to keep herself from playing with her hair rather than due to impatience. Twirling her hair around a finger was one of her nervous tics, something that she could only avoid doing by doing something else. Of course, that just led to the new thing she was doing becoming a nervous tic, but it was progress. Or probably not. Not in the slightest.
When Nozomi appeared at twelve on the dot, a lot of Maki's worries melted away. Gods, Nozomi looked so beautiful. Since they'd never hung out before, and they didn't have any of the same classes, she'd barely ever seen Nozomi in regular clothing. Even in casual clothing - just a simple white sweater and a short purple skirt - looked incredible on her. The way the material hugged her ample chest, visible from even a distance. Her black thigh high socks that looked so absolutely perfect on her wonderful body. ... Maki's face went red as she coughed into her fist. A certain part of her mind was taking the reigns a bit too excitedly. 'Normal thoughts, normal thoughts... Nothing lewd, please nothing lewd.'
"Makicchi! Ready to eat fresh?"
"Uh, yeah, I guess." She couldn't help but notice that Nozomi was staring at her rather intently. It looked like she really wanted to say something, but instead she just smiled and walked inside, leaving Maki to follow her. She decided to just push the look to the side, since she didn't know what it meant. True to her word, Nozomi paid for Maki's sandwich, topped with a heaping helping of tomatoes. Then they took their sandwiches outside, where they sat down at a table together.
This was a new experience for Maki. She'd never sat down and eaten with people who weren't family members. There was probably some protocol that she was unaware of due to her complete lack of a social life. Was she supposed to make conversation, or were they just supposed to eat in silence? She took a bite out of her sandwich, figuring that Nozomi would be the one to start the conversation. It seemed like something she would do. But what if she was supposed to be the one to do it? No, no, she was overthinking things, and she was just stressing herself out. She would just eat her sandwich and wait for Nozomi to make the first move.
"You don't talk much, do you?" That was not how Maki expected their conversation to start.
"Eh?! You... You didn't say anything either!" Nozomi giggled at that, which made Maki start to blush. She was such a confusing woman. An enigmatic student. She confused Maki, yet drew her in. This wasn't normal for someone she'd only known for such a short period of time. She shouldn't have fallen like this so quickly. It wouldn't end well.
"I'm just kidding, Makicchi. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to." There she went again with that genuine smile. It put her at a loss for words, like she'd had anything to say before regardless. But it made her want to say something, anything, to show that she could be someone who was worthwhile to talk to. If she spent the whole lunch acting like a statue, then Nozomi would realize she wasn't worth her important time and never look her way again. She couldn't let that happen.
"Uh... S-So, the first game's coming up at the end of the month." In times of trouble, there was always volleyball. At least they both had that in common. Did they even have anything else in common?
"Yup! You ready to win?" Maki nodded slowly, though she wondered how the game would actually go. Sure, they had the raw talent to win without question, but if it ended up like their practices sometimes did, then there'd be no cohesion. Those idiots would just steal the ball from her, when they all knew how much she could help them win. They'd lose, and it'd be their stupid faults. "That's a pretty scary face you're making, Makicchi."
"Wh-What?" She tried to change whatever expression she was making, which just made Nozomi laugh. It'd be more embarrassing if her laugh wasn't so good-sounding. ... No, wait, it was still really embarrassing. Gods, she was probably blushing too. "I-I was not!"
"If you say so." They ate in silence for another minute before Nozomi spoke up again. "Are you worried about the game?"
"Of course not." At least Maki could speak with confidence on that. "I have no doubts that we're going to win."
"That's not what I meant." Nozomi giggled and shook her head, but then her expression turned serious. "I mean with the rest of the team. It's obvious that there's some friction between you and the others." Maki had been about to take a bite of her sandwich, but she froze with the sandwich still in her hands. This was not a topic she really wanted to talk about. She really appreciated having Nozomi defend her during practices, but she had been hoping that wouldn't involve having to talk about it aloud.
"I don't think that's going to be a problem. Practices are different from games." It was hard to even convince herself of that, and Nozomi didn't seem fooled either. She wasn't worried about her performance. Rather, she was worried about even getting a chance to perform. "... Okay, maybe I'm..." She couldn't look at Nozomi, so she stared at her sandwich instead. "They're going to freeze me out. I know it."
"I'll talk to them, okay? We can't have any disunity in our games." She smiled at Maki, making her feel like she couldn't - or shouldn't - argue the point. "We're a team, and we'll act like it. I'll make sure the others are on the same page."
"You don't need-"
"But I want to." Nozomi cut in, flipping her frown back around quickly. "I want you to feel comfortable on the team. Things will be different. You'll see." If anyone else had said that, Maki would've just rolled her eyes and silently disagreed. When Nozomi said it, though, she felt that she could believe it. It really did feel like things would change, and that Nozomi would make sure of it.
When they were finished with lunch, Maki was able to go to her next class in high spirits. Her crush on Nozomi certainly hadn't abated: it seemed to just grow constantly. However, it felt more like Nozomi actually felt something for her. Maybe it was just friendship, or her being nice, but no one else had ever gone out of their way to try and make her feel comfortable. That had to mean something, right?
Maybe it meant nothing.
Things had indeed gotten better since their conversation. While the team wasn't exactly inviting her to sorority parties or anything, they had stopped keeping the ball away from her. In turn, she stopped doing the same to them, and the team appeared to have something akin to cohesion, which was what they needed with the first game coming up.
What Maki's problem was, which was keeping her up at night, was Eli. The captain of the team and unofficial hot model... bitch, she had some sort of relationship with Nozomi. What exactly it was, Maki wasn't sure, but whatever it was, they were really friendly with each other. She was the one Nozomi talked to more than any other person on the team, and they could be seen palling around both on and off the court. At least, that's what Honoka said. For a girl who was dating someone as stoic as Umi, she sure was a talker. A gossip too.
With this being the final practice before their first game, Maki was doing her best to concentrate on it. However, it was hard to do so when all she could pay attention to was Eli and Nozomi talking to each other. The coach had stepped out and left Eli in charge, but it sounded like she was more involved in flirting than in volleyball, with Nozomi as her primary target. Nozomi seemed to like it, though. She was smiling and laughing, her eyes more on Eli than on the game. It made Maki's blood boil, but it also made her want to cry. She'd rather punch someone than have anyone see her cry, honestly.
There was a lot to say that would put things in proper context. She was not dating Nozomi, nor did she know if anyone was dating Nozomi. Based on information she'd weaseled out of Honoka, Eli and Nozomi had been friends for years, so it would make sense that they were close to each other. What that proper context didn't take into account was that Maki was irrational and childish, so she didn't want sensible explanations. She wanted to be mad and to pout about it.
Her attention was being tested severely by this spectacle, as she decided to call it. Why couldn't the two of them stop fraternizing and just practice? It'd make her feel better, at least. Because, of course, the world revolved around her and all. It finally became too distracting when she saw Eli reach around and smack Nozomi's ass with a clear smirk on her face. Nozomi slapped Eli's arm in response, but she was still laughing. Still smiling. Maki saw red. Then she saw white as the ball hit her right in the face.
"Heads up!" Well, a bit late for that now. Maki stumbled backwards, her face stinging. Touching her face, she could feel the telltale wetness of tears, which she really hoped was due to the shock of pain rather than something else. Play had stopped, probably because the ball was now on the ground. She heard someone laughing, though she couldn't tell who it was. When she looked up, her eyes landed on Nozomi, who was heading her way with a concerned expression on her face. Seeing that made it harder not to cry, for whatever reason. Maki didn't want to be there anymore. She didn't want Nozomi to come to her aid this time, because she was sure it would cause her to burst into tears in front of everyone. So before she could reach her, Maki turned tail and ran out of the gym.
She ran until she had turned a corner to escape sight of the gym, desperately fighting to keep the tears from falling. Looking around, she remembered the bathroom that was nearby. There was only one other girl in there, washing her hands at the sink. Without acknowledging her, Maki entered one of the stalls, locked it, then sat down on the toilet and cried. Thankfully she had learned the art of silent crying, so no one would be the wiser as she had a total breakdown in the school bathroom.
This was great. She was a real adult now. Gods, she felt utterly pathetic. Worse, she'd made a big spectacle of storming out of the gym. As far as anybody knew, it was because she got hit in the face, which meant everybody would believe she was being a complete baby. Though maybe they thought that already... but it'd certainly be worse now. Covering her face with her hands, she let a fresh wave of tears fall down her cheeks. She was such a mess.
When she had finally stopped crying and checked her phone, she realized that practice had ended nearly twenty minutes ago. Time really flies when you're having an emotional breakdown. Exiting the stall, she went to the sink and splashed water on her face, trying to clean herself up. She'd stupidly missed the rest of practice, though it was a bit of relief to not have to see any of them again until the game. After the scene she'd caused, she could do without seeing any of them again for the rest of her life. 'Even Nozomi?' Her heart twisted at the thought, and she was worried that she'd start crying again.
This time though, she didn't cry. Instead, she picked herself up metaphorically and headed back for the gym. Since she'd left her clothes and backpack there, she didn't really have much of a choice. There wouldn't be anybody there, though, which was a relief. She'd just go in, get her backpack, and go home to mope about her non-existent love life. What she really needed was a distraction. Something to get her mind off of...
Nozomi. Maki froze at the entrance to the gym as she opened the door and found Nozomi sitting in the stands alone. She turned to look her way, and their eyes met. Initially, Maki wanted to step back and run away again, but instead she stepped forward, letting the door close behind her. "Nozomi..." She stood up and smiled gently Maki's way. "You're... here late."
"I could say the same to you." Feeling like she was being rude, Maki walked further into the gym, until she was a short distance from Nozomi. To help close that gap, Nozomi had left the stands and walked onto the sidelines. In her hands was Maki's backpack. "You left this... Can we talk?" Maki didn't know what to say, though she wish she did. Rather, she wished that she could just come out and say exactly what had happened. That, however, would be embarrassing. She would absolutely not do that. Instead, she just nodded and came over to take her backpack back, thanking her silently. She watched as Nozomi sat back down on the bleachers, with her following suit. "Are you... Are you okay, Makicchi?" After having seen her so close to Eli, hearing that nickname made Maki's heart beat uncomfortably.
"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?" Nozomi was giving her a look of disbelief. "Don't answer that. I just... needed to go... away. Something important." 'Keep digging that grave, Maki. Dig that grave.'
"Maki, do you honestly expect me to believe that?"
"Y- No. Not really." Maki sighed and leaned forward, clasping her hands together and staring at the floor. She really didn't want to admit to this. "I was... frustrated, I guess? Eli was really... distracting you, you know? We all need practice, and she's acting like she's better than the others." Never mind the fact that Maki herself had thought that very thought about herself. She wasn't the one on trial here.
"I see..." When Maki looked up at Nozomi, she was staring back with a very knowing look on her face. It seemed that Nozomi saw all too well. Maki gulped, starting to tap her foot so she wouldn't twirl her hair. Why did it seem like Nozomi could see right through her? "You weren't jealous of Elicchi by any chance, were you?" She scootched closer to Maki, bumping their hips together. Maki scooted a bit back, feeling like she'd broken out in a cold sweat.
"J-Jealous? What? No way! She just..." Nozomi had closed the small distance between them again. "... needs to pay more attention." Her hand was on Maki's leg, making it much harder to concentrate. "She's... being inappropriate with you... in front of everyone..." Her voice faded out, a blush creeping onto her cheeks as Nozomi leaned in, both of her hands high on Maki's legs. Why was she getting so close? It was going to cause her heart to burst out of her chest.
"Aw, Makicchi... I didn't mean to make you jealous." It was like she wasn't even listening to her lies. She was getting ridiculously close, to the point that their foreheads were almost touching. "Elicchi, she was just being silly. She's like that sometimes. We're not an item, if that's what you were thinking." Her lips looked very plump, oh-so kissable... "Don't think about her, okay? Think about me."
When she leaned in and kissed her, Maki found it surprisingly easy to not think about Eli, or anything else for that matter. Her eyes shut and she instantly melted before her crush. A simple kiss seemed to heighten her senses to ludicrous levels. Maybe it was because it was Nozomi, or maybe it was because it was her first kiss. Could be both. Something had her body set aflame with not giving any sort of fuck about anything else except for kissing Nozomi right then and there.
She put her hands on Nozomi's shoulders, gripping onto them tightly as she found herself being pushed onto her back. Laying on top of her, Nozomi deepened their kiss while she started to get a bit frisky with her hands. She put her hands on Maki's hips and starting inching them upwards, lifting her shirt as she went. It seemed like they had gone from zero to sixty in record time, but Maki had no desire to stop what they were doing. The feeling was incredible, and she didn't want Nozomi to stop. Jealousy? Never heard of her. She'd only heard of kissing Nozomi until her lips fell off.
Nozomi could do a lot in a short amount of time. She'd taken Maki's breath away, while also pushing her shirt up just below her breasts and working her shorts down a bit. Not all the way, just enough to reveal a hint of her underwear. When Nozomi's tongue came knocking, Maki answered without hesitation, parting her lips and letting it in to utterly dominate her mouth. She opened her eyes for a moment, then shut them again with a whine. Her nails were scratching up and down Nozomi's back, her hips involuntarily bucking up at Nozomi's warm, so incredibly warm body. Sure, she had no experience when it came to intimacy, but she wasn't going to let that stop her. This was her crush, and this was her senses being completely overwhelmed. If Nozomi wanted to strip her down and ride her like a bucking bronco, she damn well could.
When they finally stopped making out for more than five seconds, there was clear excitement and lust blazing in both of their eyes. Nozomi sat up and straddled Maki's hips, grabbing the hem of her shirt and started to pull it up. Then she stopped, her vision seemingly clearing as she saw Maki staring up at her with such want. She hesitated, a frown looking so out of place on her face. Without warning, she let go of her shirt and got off of Maki, standing up as if breaking out of a daze.
"Nozomi?" Maki sat up slowly, still in that daze. She could tell that something had changed, though. Nozomi was looking at her weird, like she was scared of something. "What happened? What's wrong?" She tried to reach out for Nozomi, but she stepped back, making Maki grab at air.
"Shit, I... I didn't mean to do that." She looked like she was panicking, which confused Maki further. "Gods, I... I'm so sorry, Maki. I shouldn't have..." She tugged down her shirt, smoothing it beyond its necessary needs. "It's... It's not you, I promise. I swear, it's... I can't take advantage of you like this..."
"You weren't, though." Maki tried to argue, but it didn't seem like Nozomi was listening.
"I'm so sorry, I... I have to go. I'm so sorry." Before Maki could stop her, she had started running out of the gym, a startling parallel to Maki's own escape a short time earlier. "I'm sorry!" She yelled out over her shoulder, and then she was gone, leaving Maki sitting on the bleachers with messed-up clothes and too much skin showing. Rapidly coming down from the high of making out, Maki flopped back down on her back, staring up at the ceiling and sighing. The sun was beginning to set, casting shadows across the gym. It seemed like it was also setting on her understanding anything at all anymore.
"I don't understand people..."
Maki had finally gotten herself up and dragged herself to her dorm. She didn't cry at all the whole way home. There was no way she could figure out which emotions she was supposed to feel then. All she felt was numb. The moment she got back to her dorm, she went into her room and laid down on her bed, face first into the covers. She really didn't want to be awake and think about anything, eventually falling asleep for nearly two hours.
When she woke up, it was completely dark outside. Unfortunately, she was awake again. She really didn't want to be awake, lest her emotions crash down on her like a waterfall. It didn't happen, though. Not at first. More than anything, she was just confused. She'd been in the gym with Nozomi, they'd been making out. It'd been getting pretty hot and heavy... and then suddenly poof, the moment was gone. Nozomi 'had to go'. What the hell had happened?
Of course, Nozomi wasn't there to answer those pertinent questions. Maybe Maki had been a bad kisser. She couldn't get better without any practice, though. Something had happened when Nozomi sat up and got a good look at Maki. Maybe she'd suddenly realized what a bad idea what they were doing was. She realized, 'Oh hey, I could be making out with anyone on the entire campus. Why am I bothering with this loser?' And now she'd made herself sad.
When her phone started buzzing, she didn't even bother to grab it. She didn't have to energy or desire to look at it. Two minutes went by, and then it buzzed again. Maki frowned and made herself grab her phone. Who was being so insistent? When she looked at her screen, it was a number that wasn't in her contacts, which made her heart jump into her throat. Was it Nozomi? How had she gotten her number? Now there was a helping of nerves to looking at a text message. She forced herself to swipe her phone on and take a look.
Maki, it's Honoka. Can we talk?
Maki? Please answer
Honoka? Okay, how did she get her number? Frowning, Maki didn't want to answer, but it seemed like Honoka was going to keep spamming if her she didn't say something.
Honoka, how did you get this number?
Your roommate is friends with Hitomi, who's friends with Umi, who I'm banging. It's really important that we talk. It's about Nozomi. Maki's stomach flipped after reading that. There was no way she was ready to talk about something that just happened. Especially with someone else. Did Nozomi tell Honoka that they'd made out? Gods, that was mortifying. Why would she do that? She wanted to die.
I do not want to talk right now. She waited for a response, maybe something along the lines of, 'Oh, I'm sorry. Let's never talk about this again!' Instead, she heard a loud knocking on the front door, followed by another text.
Oh, well I'm at your dorm now. Oh. Great. Of course she was. She considered not answering the door, but the next knocking was halted by what sounded like the door opening. Her roommate must've answered the door. "Maki! Someone's here for you! Should I kick them out?"
"Hey, don't do that!" Yup, that was Honoka. Sighing, Maki dragged her pathetic self out of bed and went out into the living room, seeing Mikoto trying to shut the door on a resisting Honoka. "C'mon shortie, I know her!"
"Shortie?! You're asking for some discipline!"
"Mikoto, just let her in. I know her." Maki turned and went back into her bedroom, not bothering to watch as Mikoto finally stepped aside with a grumble. Honoka bounced in and went after Maki, going into her room and letting the door shut. "What do you want, Honoka?"
"Ehehe, right to the point, huh?" Honoka laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck. "Do you want to maybe take a walk?"
"I don't want to take a walk!" Her shouting made Honoka flinch, which in turn made her feel guilty. She made sure to tone down her voice after that. "Look, I know why you're here, but I don't want to talk about it." She sat down on her bed and stared at her feet. "I don't know how to talk about it." Honoka went over and sat next to Maki, slinging an arm over her shoulder.
"Maki, Nozomi... has some things that she doesn't like to talk about. And I probably shouldn't say anything... err, anything more than I already have." Another nervous laugh. "But you like her, right? And don't argue. I've seen the way you stare at her after practices."
"If I can't argue, why'd you ask the question?" Maki grumbled, embarrassed that she was so obvious about it. If only Honoka didn't come to watch most of their practices. "It doesn't matter anyway. I've seen the way she and Eli act together. I don't have a chance against that." Honoka didn't answer at first, letting them lapse into silence. Maki squeezed her hands together, feeling like she was a kid again, being talked to by her dad.
"When I first started having feelings for Umi, I found out that she actually liked my best friend." Maki's eyes widened, looking up at Honoka in surprise. She hadn't expected that, but then again, what did she really know about Honoka? Or Umi? "It didn't really feel good. I never thought I'd cry over something like love, ya know? But I did. It hurt to look at her knowing how she felt about someone else."
"But... you're dating now, right?" Maki ventured curiously, hoping she wasn't crossing a line. "What happened to her liking your best friend?"
"Well, after being sad and stuff, I decided that I couldn't really act like that if I didn't even try to ask her out. I mean, she never asked Kotori out, so I still had a shot, right?" She laughed about it like it wasn't the scariest thing imaginable. "So I asked her out, and she said yes! I knew how she felt about Kotori, but eventually we started dating and it ended up fine. We could all three hang out together and there wasn't any feelings of awkwardness or jealousy."
"So you're... saying Nozomi likes Eli?"
"Not exactly." Honoka squeezed Maki's shoulder comfortingly. "I'm saying you might regret it if you don't at least try. If she says no, you'd feel bad, but you already feel bad, right?"
"You're good at this comforting thing. Ever thought of being a therapist?"
"I'm being serious, Maki! Just talk to her, and ask her what's going on. Once you hear everything, you can make a judgement for yourself. Or you don't have to, I guess. It's your choice." So there was definitely something going on with Nozomi, and apparently Honoka knew, but wouldn't spill the beans. It was up to Maki to try and find out what it was.
"I'll... I'll think about it." Honoka nodded, seemingly satisfied with that answer.
"I guess I should go now." She stood up, but Maki stopped her by grabbing her hand.
"Wait! I, uh... I'd rather you stayed. J-Just for a little bit." Maki started to blush, pointedly looking away. "I-I want to know more about Nozomi. Maybe we could just... talk for a bit?"
"Really?" Honoka broke out into a big grin, jumping back onto the bed. "Okay! Oh, I should text Umi first, let her know that I'm gonna be staying out late in another girl's bedroom."
"M-Maybe don't do that..."
Without having Nozomi's number, or knowing any of her classes, Maki had to get her number from Honoka, which she used to text and ask if they could meet at the gym the next afternoon. It was awkward enough to ask, but it was even more awkward sitting there and waiting for her to show up. She didn't even realize that she was sitting in the same spot where she'd been making out with Nozomi less than twenty-four hours previously. That caused a quick shift in where she was sitting.
When Nozomi came in, Maki stood up, but felt too awkward to walk over and say something. She wasn't even sure what to say, so she just waved and tried to smile. It probably looked like the least enthusiastic smile in the history of facial expressions. She didn't need a mirror to know that. Nozomi eventually walked over, though, as usual being the one to make the first move.
"Hey Makicchi. You wanted to talk about why I abandoned you yesterday, right?" Maki nodded mutely, and Nozomi gave her a strained smile before sitting down. Following suit, Maki got an uncomfortable sense of deja vu. "First off, I promise ya it wasn't your fault. You're a really good kisser."
"Nozomi! Jeez..." She kind of enjoyed hearing her say that, though. It made her feel a bit better about her intimacy prowess.
"But when I saw you laying there, wanting me, I just felt... bad. Like you didn't really know me, but I still made you want to do these things with me."
"Because I wanted to. I-I mean, I..." There was probably not any innocent way to express that she wanted Nozomi to go to town on her body. "I wanted that. It felt good. I didn't stop you."
"And that's why I had to stop myself." Nozomi looked too guilty for someone who had only done some simple making out. "It would've been your first time doing that kind of stuff, right?"
"That's... irrelevant."
"So yes." Nozomi giggled, but quickly returned to a more solemn expression. "That wouldn't have been my first time, Maki. I've done it a few times... More times than I care to admit, honestly." Hearing that made Maki feel like she'd been dunked in cold water. Realistically, it would make sense that Nozomi wasn't a virgin. Who could resist someone who looked so damn good, and who was also a great person to boot? That brought to mind a certain someone, though. Her lips felt strangely dry as she tried to voice out her curiosity.
"That... Does that include Eli?" The way Nozomi looked away from her said everything. "Oh..."
"We had a friends with benefits thing in high school... and university." Maki couldn't look away, but she wished she could've. It was her worst fears being confirmed in the most brutal way possible. "But I was telling you the truth when I said we weren't an item. We haven't had sex in months, and that was kind of the problem." She turned back to look at Maki, her cheeks having turned a lovely shade of pink. "I've been really, uh... 'pent up', let's say. I feel like I have a problem when it comes to sex, and I was trying to stop doing all that stuff. But I guess I couldn't really resist you, huh?"
"Why me, though?" Maki was doing some expert multi-tasking. She was taking in everything Nozomi said and filtering it into the 'death is preferable' compartment of her brain, while also lining up questions she didn't want the answers to but was so desperate to have answered. On top of that, she was working overtime to make sure no tears came out in a moment of weakness. She was actually pretty proud of herself for not collapsing immediately into a heap of despair and lack of sleep. "Why would you want to do... that stuff with me?"
"Because when you joined the team, you were like this small, fiery ball of skill and determination."
"Small? I'm taller than you!"
"Details, details." They both smiled a bit at that, though. "I knew that the others weren't going to take to you, and I sort of felt personally responsible for your well-being. I wanted to make sure you would be able to mesh with the team, and that you wouldn't quit due to everyone else being assholes. It was a nice surprise that you were so driven, like you wanted to prove to everyone how good you were. Stealing the others' shots was a nice touch."
"Yeah... I've never really been part of a team before."
"Really? Could've fooled me." Nozomi sure had a lot of jokes for someone who was saying a lot of really upheaving stuff. "I just grew to feel more connected to you during our practices, even if we never hung out afterwards or anything. ... And, you know, when you've been self-imposing celibacy, you start noticing how well those shorts show off your cute butt."
"You really know how to set the mood." With all her concentration elsewhere, Maki had no chance to stop herself from blushing. "Why did you stop what we were doing, though? After all that, you, uh... you wanted me, and you knew I'd let you do it. Why stop?"
"The reason I had stopped throwing myself at every cute girl that passed me was because it started to feel empty. Like all I did was the four S's: school, sex, sleep."
"What's the fourth S?"
"Subway sandwiches. Well, I guess that's five S's." Was this really happening? "The point is, I'd never really done anything relationship-wise besides that. There were no dates, or hand-holding, or cuddling. Just cleavin' and leavin'. I wanted to try doing more than that." She trailed off after that, sighing before continuing. "But of course I got close to you, physically, and I let myself get carried away. It was stupid and careless, but I shouldn't have run away. I'm sorry for leaving you like that."
"It's... It's okay." Maybe it wasn't okay, but she wasn't going to say that. She wasn't sure what to do at that point. Her emotions were even more turbulent than they'd been yesterday. She was definitely feeling a raging jealously stemming from knowing that Eli had bedded Nozomi. Not only Eli, though, but others too. How many others? She didn't know, and she didn't feel comfortable finding out. There was a strange, perverse sense of hope as well. Everything Nozomi had been talking about had led up to her admitting that she liked Maki, at least in some way. She felt protective of her, and also found her attractive, which had to mean something. Regardless of how many others she found attractive.
On that subject, should it really matter what she did in the past? From what Nozomi had told her, she hadn't done those things in quite some time because she wanted more. What if she wanted more withher? Maki's crush still existed: it wasn't snuffed out despite everything she heard. Could she really judge Nozomi on the things she did in the past? Maki hadn't even known she existed at the time. If she wanted to take things slow, or as slow as Nozomi could go, there was still a part of Maki that wanted it to be with her.
"Why don't you try it, then?"
"Huh? Try what?"
"Doing that... relationship stuff with me." Maki blushed deeper, but she made herself keep going. That was the advice that Honoka had given her, and at the very least, she'd end up still miserable if things went south. "You want to do that, right? Hand-holding and dates or whatever? Why not with me?" Nozomi just stared at her, as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"You'd want to do that? After all I told you about my past?"
"Well, that's in the past, right? I don't care about that." What she meant was 'I don't want to care about that.' "But I... I like you, okay? I've liked you since you defended me during practice. We could at least try, right? One date, and if you don't like it, then we can stop and pretend this never happened. How about that?" She wasn't sure what the answer was going to be, but she was caught off guard when Nozomi wrapped her in a tight hug.
"I do want to do that, Makicchi. If you're okay with letting me learn these things on the fly, that is."
"Like I've gone on a bunch of dates." 'Or any.' "It's fine. We'll learn together, right?" She pulled Nozomi back from the hug and smiled, one that was actually genuine. Nozomi couldn't help but to smile back before diving back into the hug.
"This means a lot, Makicchi. I promise you, it's not going to be like how things were in the past. I'm going to do my best for you."
"And I'll do my best for you." There were still a lot of worries in Maki's mind. The fires of jealously were likely not going to be put out easily, on top of the fact that Nozomi's inexperience with dating was going to be mashed with her own inexperience with... everything. They would eventually be in bed together, surely. What if she didn't measure up? Would Nozomi desire for more?
Those were the bad thoughts, the worrying thoughts, but there were other thoughts too. Good thoughts. Like how she had just asked the woman she was crushing on for a date, and how that crush had said yes. In fact, she'd seemed very happy to say yes. Nozomi wanted to change things in her life, to actually do romantic relationship things, with her. That seemed like cause for celebration. All those other things, those were in the past. Having an exclusive relationship with someone as wonderful as Nozomi? That was the present, and hopefully the future too.
"Not to dampen the mood or anything, but we still have a game soon."
"I'm not worried about the game." Maki smiled warmer, holding onto Nozomi's hand. "We'll be fine. Besides, I have something to really play for now." Nozomi's hand immediately came up to her mouth, covering it. "Nozomi?" Then she started to snort with laughter. "Wh-What? What'd I do?"
"Gods, Makicchi, that was cheesy as hell! Is that something you're supposed to do in a relationship?"
"Sh-Shut up!" Somehow Nozomi was very good at making her turn new shades of red. Still trying to halt her laughter, Nozomi took Maki's hand back and squeezed it.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding! ... Kind of. It's sweet, though. You're real girlfriend material, Makicchi. Really." Ah, there was that genuine smile again, as lovely as always. Maybe it was cheesy, but it didn't stop it from being true. This really did feel nice. Despite all those worries, Maki felt more peaceful than she had in awhile. Being able to call Nozomi her girlfriend... She could get used to that.