Warning : Character death.

Dear readers,

This is Kate Beckett. I'm sorry for some of you who waited months for me to confirm this news.

So yes , Black Pawn will publish another Nikki Heat book called 'Forever Heat' – the one he haven't finished yet. There was a half-chapter left, and that's your job to write it yourself. And yes, Castle wanted me to keep this website – to keep this blog alive. So, here I am, writing for you.

Writing on this blog had been his favorite kind of writing. He told me that sharing is the key of everything. He shared a lot to me, and I'm happy for that.

And the first post I want to write here...is about him. About Richard Castle. Richard Castle I've known for a long time.

All I need to say is, if you idolize him, he's the right person to idolize for.

He's a really good man for no doubt. Yes, he's a great writer, he's famous...We all know that. But you might don't know what kind of guy you adore is.

He was full of love, he was really funny, he was a loyal man. He was a caring man. He was a great dad, a wonderful husband for sure. He was the kind of man who'll do anything for his family.

God, this is hard to write.

Castle once said to me that he doesn't want a post all about himself because he never did that. He included Alexis, Martha, and also me in every post he made.

So that's what I'm gonna do.

Alexis is doing good. As you know she was married 6 months ago, and his husband is the best for her, so I don't need to worry much, though I'm so sad our loft became emptier.

Well of course there's Martha and the kids there, but she's busy on her acting-class. Anyway, if you want to join her, you can write your e-mail in your comment. We'll contact you.

Jamie and Lizzy are so happy right now. Jamie was just winning a gold medal for a swimming competition and the little Lizzy won a writing competition. I'm so proud of them.

Esposito and Ryan, also Lanie and Captain Gates are alright. Captain Gates got sick and absent for a week last month, but she's okay by now, and I promise I'll take care of her.

Another thing - Castle wanted me to open myself and be honest, and again, that's what I'm gonna do now.

I'm still working on forgiving of what happened that day. I'm still trying to be cheerful as I was when Castle was here, for my children and myself.

I'm still trying to not cry every night. And it's been 2 years, but...I love him so much.

He brought me back to life, he gave me the meaning of life. And having Alexis, Jamie, Lizzy, Martha, and my family at the 12th is so helping. They understand, they supports me, and I'm very grateful of it.

Trust me, I'm trying.
I really do.

Castle will always be here, for you, for my family, for me, and for the world. He promised me, and I believe him.

Yes, his last word was 'Always'.

And I believe him.

I always do.

Because for me and him, 'Always' means 'I love you, I won't ever leave you, I will always be there for you, this is my promise'.

And I believe him.

I think it's enough, so see you next time. (I know, I'm suck at writing, but I'll do this for Castle. And Rick, I know you read this and I just want you to know that I miss you so much. I love you, and I mean it - I love you.

I love you, Rick.

And remember one thing - I just want you.)

Always,
Kate Beckett-Castle.

A/N : This just popped up into my mind, and this is as weird as every fic I've ever written, and English is my 2nd language, so drop a review, I'm ready for how bad it can be.