A/N Important: This story is being currently re-written, improved and corrected by my beta-reader jobelle516. This chapter was edited on 23/7/2014. In case you started reading it now, please wait for me to update the old chapters with the new one because they might be awfully translated to English and full of mistakes because I didn't have a constant beta, like I do now. I'm posting on AO3 the new chapters, you can follow there to know when I've edited something.
'Cause if you do, I'm gonna kill you.
The words rumble inside his head so easily at every moment, streaming along his nerves and then spreading fear through his veins; although Kurt has always been brave and unwilling to let someone force his life decisions when he's just supposed to choose what is good for his future, the situation feels like it's become too much to handle by now.
And that is why he has made up his mind. He can't stay at McKinley High, not anymore. Not when going to school every morning feels like going on a mission, having to keep his eyes wide because he never knows when it's going to happen. That is just too much of a stress, so hard to handle in any way. Even focusing on homework and glee club is becoming too hard with the psychological and emotional pressure he's going through.
For once, it seems luck had been on his side. He had met Blaine and he's thankful for that. It's not only because Blaine is extremely pretty, kind and openly gay (and he has the ability of making Kurt feel as if there was a sudden storm of butterflies inside his stomach everytime he looks at him like Kurt actually matters); but it's also that he has opened a brand new opportunity to him, the chance to finally make that change he needs right now.
Blaine had pushed him into fighting back and not giving up (something about the way Blaine had said it sounding like regret in his voice, though Kurt isn't sure because he doesn't know his story details), and Kurt had tried so hard but still; he isn't sure he can go to school everyday knowing that he is probably going to meet a guy that threatened him with death in the hallways; it's just too much, he can't keep fighting anymore.
He had such a hard choice to make.
On the one hand, Dalton Academy might mean a new beginning for him. It could be a new safe environment in which Kurt can feel completely at ease with himself and live his life without the daily fear of not knowing when he's going to be thrown into a dumpster or worse. He is not going to be judged because of his sexuality there and he honestly thinks that Dalton Academy is also a better option than McKinley when it comes to applying for college and writing in it on curriculums.
But on the other hand, McKinley is the place where all his friends are. The glee club is the place where Kurt learnt there's nothing wrong with being who you are. Although he knows his reason shouldn't interfere this much with his choice for how involved his heart is, the rational part of him feels like he is giving up on his ideals, like he is supposed to try hard but he doesn't want to be forced to do anything because of someone else.
At the same time though, he is stressed, exposed and feeling weak, and he isn't used to these feelings. It's not something he can handle easily. It's like he can't be himself anymore with the pressure of it on him, it doesn't make any sense to stay if he can't be himself. He would just pretend to be himself.
It's a tough and painful choice, but the last thought is what pushes him into deciding that he can't be stuck in that hell anymore.
/
Kurt is feeling a little too nervous. He tugs the knot of his tie – it's excessively tight - and works on it clumsily, but he can't help it. This is worse than performing. Kurt is actually never this nervous before he performs. It's probably because he feels sure about his talents; but this is about making an impression with his personality, and although his personality is fascinating, he isn't sure everybody would get it. And he wants them to get it; he desperately wants to make an impression. He needs friends, needs love. This isn't about performing and showing off. This is about actually being nice, which isn't easy because he's now used to his friends at McKinley already knowing everything about his flaws and loving him no matter what.
He gazes at himself in the mirror of his new dorm room, eyes wandering all over his own body and the way the uniform clenches around it. Despite his love for clothes and all the possible varieties of outfits he can pull up, he has to admit that the Dalton uniform isn't that bad. As much as he hates the idea of all the students wearing the same uniform every single day of the week, he still has weekends to show off his wardrobe.
With one last tug at his blazer to fix it along his torso, Kurt gives a nod to himself through the mirror.
He knows he is probably exaggerating, knows that introducing himself to a new group of people isn't supposed to feel this frustrating, but at the same time, he's also aware of that fact that he's gone through a lot lately, which might be the reason for his stiff nerves. He needs his new school mates to be good enough to make him not regret that he doesn't go to McKinley anymore.
He walks out of his room, moving hesitant steps with shaking legs and trying to feel more at ease. Blaine is going to be there and wherever Blaine is, Kurt feels like he is safe and welcomed.
While moving along the huge hallway to the Warblers room, the atmosphere already feels completely different from McKinley High. The guys are kind to him, first of all. It's nothing like the jocks looking at him like their hands are tickling to punch his face. They greet him and smile at him; and whenever they lift their hand, it isn't to scare him or threaten him, but to high-five him. It is so unexpected to get this positive attention when being the new guy. He is already starting to feel like he's not something to crash and toss apart only.
It hurts to realize that he wasn't used to be treated like a person anymore. Not being threatened or looked at awfully almost feels awkward and this isn't how it's supposed to be. It's almost weird to have the other students smiling at him and waving their hands to say hi; weird in the most beautiful way of course (if he fights the bitterness of not being used to being treated decently of course).
He knows what's coming next: being welcomed by the Warblers.
Blaine told him that the Warblers are like rock stars and Kurt had his own chance to spy on them so he knows just how fabulous they are. He isn't sure about how it is going to be, doesn't know if being in an acapella club is going to feel too different. It's not like every school has a jazz band playing for an extra-curriculum activity (although Kurt is sure that Dalton could totally afford a band for how must it costs to go there). The reputation of the group is basically the reason why he is going to join, but he also thinks it is because he couldn't survive high school without singing and his voice is the most remarkable characteristic after his clothes (he can't consider the sass because sometimes he manages to be quite rude and snappy, so it's probably not going to bring him many friends).
When he reaches for the closed doors of the Warblers' room, he stands there for a moment, just breathing in deeply and closing his eyes. A good impression is essential on the first day in the club. He doesn't know yet what the Warblers are going to think about him, how different it will be from the New Directions. He doesn't know which face to wear in order to look spontaneous.
Well, maybe if he acts spontaneously, he is going to look spontaneous. Trying to build up proper emotions like he is doing right now won't make him look more at ease. This isn't like singing a song and trying to ride the wave of emotions that come with it.
The doors before him get opened and he is forced to close his eyes once more because of the light coming from the large windows on the opposite wall, inside the room. The bare second he has to keep them closed seems like it lasts forever while he's actually curious to gaze around and explore this new reality. The sensation coming from the light waving over him though is relieving, it warms up the room even during this time of the year, and this is making him feel more comfortable already. If he wasn't nervous about his first day with the group, he'd probably feel completely relaxed by now, the sunlight practically stroking his skin in the few points it can touch, his neck, his hands, his face.
He opens his eyes and walks into the room, his arms wrapped around himself shyly. It's so natural to feel tensed when he knows that being new means that everybody is going to look at him and that they're going to talk about him later. They're going to comment on the way he speaks, on the way he looks, the way he breathes maybe. It's so hard to try and be himself after what he's been through recently. But if he can let go, if he finds it in himself, then he'll go back to be as proud and self-confident as he was before.
As soon as he takes a look around, he catches Blaine – flawless, as always – sitting on one of those elegant and probably expensive couches. He is smiling at Kurt warmly, almost spurring him through his fond eyes. Kurt smiles back (something tightens a little in his stomach and forces him to press his lips together for a moment) and then turns to the big desk on the right. There are three boys sitting behind it: he hasn't met the one sitting on the right yet, but he knows David and Wes (a gavel in his hand) from that time he tried to spy on the group and was afraid that they were going to beat him up, he's not making a mountain out of a molehill if he thinks he loves them just because they didn't.
"Let's give a big welcome to our new member, Kurt Hummel." Wes says and Kurt blushes and smiles as he gazes around and tries to memorize the faces of his new glee club mates.
It's going to take a long time though, because they're numerous; which positively means they won't risk being disqualified at competitions if they don't reach the quorum. That is a novelty too and although it's positive, it sends a stab to Kurt's chest anyway. Some of the memories from his old glee club are rising inside him, a full new wave of melancholy making it hard for him to keep the smile alive on his face. But he has to; he wants to shut out the emotions for today so that he can start again. He's going to be sad about it, later in the private space of his room.
"In our oldest tradition for our newest Warbler," Wes adds, pointing at a little covered cage. Kurt leans over and reaches for it, holding it tightly in his hands, "an actual warbler."
Kurt is about to uncover the cage and wash off the scowl from his face when a choked laugh gets his attention, the sound of it breaking the silence that followed Wes's words.
When he turns around, he catches this green-eyed, quite light-haired, tall guy (his height being evident even though he's just sitting because of his long thin legs) who is holding a hand on his forehead, partly hiding his face but not his quite annoying smirk. Even from a distance, Kurt can almost count the freckles on his face and neck. He looks familiar and Kurt guesses he must have seen him when he came to spy on the Warblers the first time.
He's never been so caught up with staring at a guy, but the truth is that it hasn't much to do with him. Kurt is afraid he might haven't got the joke and he doesn't want to look to the others' faces and realize he's the only one who doesn't understand why this boy is laughing.
"What's wrong, Smythe?" Wes's strict voice makes Kurt feel a little relieved. Maybe there wasn't something to laugh about.
Also, he can't help but notice the way Wes seems accustomed to scolding the guy, as if this is something he does all the time, and Kurt can't tell if this is more about being in charge or about the boy being some sort of glee club clown. And then, all of a sudden, his mind flashes and he realizes the innuendo that had the boy laughing.
As soon as it hits him, Kurt flushes with embarrassment, his face suddenly covered in red warm patches.
His skin feels like it's on fire all of a sudden because hell, isn't he used to this kind of joke, isn't he used to sexual references, especially if they come out as cheap as this one. He feels like this is sort of harassing too, it's minimal and different, but it's there, and he feels like clenching and crying at the idea of having to face it at Dalton too. He tries to keep his face from dropping as quickly as it was, and he tries to hide the horrible feeling within him. He tries to let it slide, tries to keep it inside himself and he hopes it's not showing that much.
"I think you owe an apology to our newbie." Wes recalls his attention to reality and Kurt stands still, just waiting, because he has no idea how they work, how they usually handle situations like this among the Warblers.
This Smythe boy barely winces, like he doesn't even care, and they're back to discussing Regionals before Kurt knows it. His gaze focuses on this boy once more, Kurt tries to get some information, tries to understand what kind of person he might be. The guy is yawning, he looks quite annoyed.
Kurt's idea – a fantastic idea in his opinion – about singing Rio by Duran Duran at Sectionals doesn't get the reaction he hoped for. That makes Kurt realize that maybe he's been too overwhelmed and overstepped some lines. He didn't even know if he could propose his idea like this. Considering the bunch of papers they had to sign for this school, Kurt wouldn't be surprised if he found out one has to submit his ideas for glee club via mail.
The rest of the hour goes quite smoothly. He uncovers Pavarotti and just sits on the couch while they keep on discussing themes – Blaine being a very active member of the conversation. Kurt's gaze is a little lost around the room and sometimes his attention would slip away in favor of embarrassment. He is still not completely over that awful moment and he doesn't have the guts to turn around and curiously checking on what that Smythe boy might be doing.
During the whole time spent in the room, Kurt feels like someone is staring at him, eyes tracing every single part of his body and his face. But then he is pretty sure that it's just a consequence of being the new kid at school. Of course everybody is looking at him, they're just curious. It's not like someone is staring at him for other reasons.
Less than one hour later, Kurt is walking down the stairs to get back to his room (and finally get himself some relax from the emotional rollercoaster that today has been) with Pavarotti's little cage in his hand, when he hears someone calling him out from behind.
"Kurt," He might have known Blaine for a short time, but he already feels so at ease with his voice that he can recognize it easily; it's been stuck in his head from the moment they met, "I saw you were a little upset about your idea not being considered."
Kurt nods hesitantly as he blushes – which happens almost everytime Blaine talks to him. It's weird to feel like this. It's like when he had his little crush on Finn and the way he felt when Finn gave him attention.
"It's different here," Kurt says back, "I'm not saying it's better or worse. I'm just trying to get used to it."
And he's also trying to fight the new distance from his friends – not to mention the weekly distance from his family right when it shifted and turned into something completely different. With his dad getting married to Carole, Kurt would want to get the chance to spend more time with them at home to get used to the new atmosphere. He knows he can't be there everyday with staying at Dalton and going back only on some weekends.
"Well, you better get used to it soon." Blaine puts a hand on his shoulder and smiles. "Because I got you an audition for a solo at Sectionals."
Kurt stands there with his mouth wide open, his feet on the last step as he looks at Blaine with a thankful light in his eyes. He totally feels like hugging him, but at the same time, he doesn't think they have the intimacy to share such a moment. Also, Kurt isn't really that comfortable with PDA, especially when it comes to people he's not known for long, no matter how easily Blaine seems to be getting under his skin.
Therefore he just asks, "An audition? For Sectionals?"
Blaine nods, his lips arching into a knowing smile, as if he's proud of having made Kurt so excited with the news. "Good luck with that."
Kurt waves his hand in goodbye while Blaine beams and then walks off of the stairs. He is pretty sure he'll need Barbra Streisand's heir help to pick out the right song.
He is thinking about calling her as soon as he gets to his room when he walks past the last step, but finds himself startling and stopping his run because the weird green-eyed boy, Smythe, is standing in front of him, staring with no shame or hesitation, arms crossed on his chest. He is wearing the same annoying smirk he had back in the Warblers' room and it's so frustrating that Kurt almost reconsiders his anti-violence policy. He is very tall and slim, but Kurt can see from there that his shoulders are wide so he's not just super thin or anything.
"Flirting with Anderson already? Do you guys have an affair?" The guy asks, not bothering with introductions; it makes Kurt angry and nervous, he hasn't given this guy any reason to act this way.
"Not flirting or having a thing. And it's not of your business anyway, Smythe." He makes sure he calls him by the surname Wes had used in the Warblers room. Smythe's lips tilt more into a smirk and Kurt wonders what the reason for that is. He's made sure his voice was super-snappy, so he doesn't get how the guy could be amused.
"I see that you've got it memorized already," the boy whispers, stepping closer to Kurt, "That's sweet."
Kurt really doesn't want to jump to conclusions and from his experience, he couldn't recognize flirting if it slapped him in the face, but he guesses this boy is gay from the way he is acting all seductive and teasing. Maybe it's just the way he acts normally, that's it.
"I've got a sublime memory of the sounds, which is probably because I'm a stunning singer." Kurt spans proudly and a little bitterly. Then he moves aside to try and walk passed him. "Now, if you don't mind, I should check on my schedules."
Smythe doesn't move away though. He just stands still for a moment, gazing at Kurt with a challenging look over his features. Kurt is right about to tell him to leave him alone when he steps closer, finally unwrapping his arms from his chest. It makes him so uncomfortable to have someone acting like this when they don't even know each other. It's frustrating and makes him wish that other parents would have taught their children how to behave just like they did with him.
"You're Kurt, aren't you?" Sebastian asks, dangerously close, his lips still arched in that snigger. "My name is Sebastian. You can stop calling me by my surname, although I agree that would be a fine way for you to submit yourself to me already."
Kurt instinctively gives him a bitch-face. He isn't good at submission, has never been and won't ever been, especially, if the guy before him is so irritating. He might be handsome but his manners make up for it and all that Kurt wants is to slap him in the face. Too bad he can't because he still has Pavarotti's cage in his right hand.
"I'm totally interested in this conversation," He spits out sarcastically, trying to scoot aside once more to run away.
As soon as he steps off the stairs though, this Sebastian guy follows him and only stops when he is standing in front of Kurt once more. Kurt can feel the frustration making his skin tickly and probably flushing, and he's sure Sebastian can see right through his eyes just how mad he is about to get in one moment. He breathes in, holding his breath for the upcoming blow, but he's forced to stop when Sebastian lifts his hand and brings it to Kurt's face, fingertips stroking along the suddenly flushed cheekbone.
His body stiffens completely, a rush of embarrassing sensation running through him. He has no experience in being touched like this by another boy, so intimately along the hallways of his school. He looks straight into Sebastian's eyes, even though he has no idea what to say or do, and that's just because he hopes Sebastian won't notice how much the touch is affecting him. It's probably ridiculous to feel so uncomfortable at the way he is just brushing Kurt's cheek, considering his age.
"You're a virgin, aren't you?"
It comes out as a soft smug whisper but it's enough to leave Kurt stuck.
He has no idea how this guy dares to talk about stuff like that; it's just too intimate and private for casual conversation and his mind is blacking-out. His fingers are clenching just a little painfully around the handle of Pavarotti's cage and Kurt tries hard to suppress every thought before it's out of his control. He doesn't want to deal with it in any way, not now; he avoids it as much as he can and this boy … he shouldn't even dare to pull it out like this when it's evident that Kurt's just annoyed at the awful way he behaves.
"I ju-just-you-" He stutters senselessly, moving his face away to avoid the contact, but when he tilts his head back, Sebastian's fingers reach for him once more with no hesitation. Kurt's voice is shaking as he tries to come out with some smooth reply or something, anything.
Sebastian's fingertips feel a little rough on Kurt's soft skin, caressing teasingly as the little dim light in his green eyes promise nothing good. Also, at first – the unwanted - touch Kurt realizes that Sebastian feels dirty. It's probably from what he's just said, but Kurt has the feeling that he would make him sick to his stomach.
"Yup, you're a virgin."
As soon as the words are out of Sebastian's mouth, Kurt slaps his fingers away from his face with his left hand, his shoulder-bag dropping a little at the movement from where he was holding it tightly before, probably because he's accustomed to use it as a shield from his days at McKinley.
He thought that Dalton was going to be a safe environment and that's the reason why he transferred. But if things are going to be like this because of this guy, Kurt is pretty sure he is going to regret his choice. He can't stand the idea of being someone's victim once more. He doesn't want to be a victim.
"Not. Your. Business." He spells slowly, moving aside more decisively, or at least trying to do so.
He can immediately hear Sebastian moving quick steps behind him, and it makes him roll his eyes. He was serious when he said he hasn't got any time to waste on him, and if you add it to how uncomfortable this guy makes him, Kurt has to hold so hard from throwing Pavarotti's bird-cage in his face. He won't do that because he gets sick at the sight of blood.
"I can teach you stuff," Sebastian says behind him, not even concerned at how loudly he's speaking, "We could practice."
The words are making Kurt sickly embarrassed, the blush on his cheeks no longer controllable. Why can't he just find a place where he can be himself without someone else bothering him?
"It would be free of course and you will get the chance to put your hands on me." Sebastian doesn't show any sign of wanting to stop, not even when Kurt turns the hallway, heading to the dorms. "You have no idea how many guys would pay to touch me, and you could get it for free-"
"Not interested." Kurt cuts in, doesn't turn to him, and continues walking.
He is feeling sweat collecting at the back of his neck and his skin tickling unpleasantly and all that he wants is to run away from this guy and his sex talks. Kurt knew he was right when he disliked him at first sight.
He keeps himself from walking too close to the wall. From what it looks like, this guy could pin him against it or something, Kurt isn't sure about what he might do.
When he finally reaches the door of his single dorm room, Kurt sighs in relief silently, having some trouble at grabbing the key from his pocket with Pavarotti's cage still in his hand; of course, this gives Sebastian the time to catch up, which makes Kurt flicker the key into the lock more anxiously.
For a moment, he's even afraid that Sebastian might take the chance and sneak into Kurt's room, but he doesn't.
He stands there, arms newly crossed to his chest and his annoying smirk on his lips.
"Thanks." He says and Kurt looks at him in confusion.
"For what? For telling you that I'm not interested and that you can keep your disgusting little plans to yourself?" He asks, the door-handle secure in his hand tightly, as if it makes him feel safer.
"Nope, babe." Sebastian tilts his eyebrow annoyingly. "For showing me the way to your room just in case you change your mind. Which is so going to happen."
Sebastian winks and Kurt's spontaneous reaction is to show him his best bitch-face before he walks into the room, slamming the door in Sebastian's face with no hesitation.
When Kurt is alone in his room, he finally realizes that a guy has just hit on him. As much as he would have liked the idea of it in sophomore year, the way it happened just feels wrong. He just wished someone liked him and this guy clearly does not like him. He is probably bored or has got some bet like getting into the new kid's pants within a month. It makes his heart throb a little painfully, the awareness that no one will ever like him without an aim out of it. It's painful to get used to the that idea even after so long since he started considering it.
Kurt is sitting comfortably in one of the chairs in a large study room at Dalton. It's been one week since he moved to Dalton and he is slowly getting used not only to the environment, but also to the people here. Except for one person of course.
"Do you have a crush on Blaine?"
Sebastian's irritating voice asks, forcing him to turn and check that someone hasn't over-heard. It would totally be embarrassing if they did. When he is sure that no one caught it, he looks at Sebastian and finally pays attention to him.
"No, I don't." He lies because although his crush for Blaine is getting worse and worse as the days go by, he has no intention to share these details with Sebastian. "Now that you've just got your daily dose of being embarrassingly and ridiculously wrong, would you mind leaving me alone?"
Sebastian smirks and he crosses his arms on his chest, which sadly means he doesn't plan on leaving him alone at all. It's not only bad for Kurt's schedules and all the chapters he has to catch up on, but also for Kurt's nerves, because Sebastian is the most irritating person Kurt has ever met. Sometimes he gets on his nerves just by looking at him and not saying a single word. When he speaks, though, it is a lot worse.
"You like him, seriously, it's showing." He answers smugly. "Every time Anderson flicks his dreamy mouth open to sing one of his I-can't-count-how-many-already solos or simply says something, you're hypnotized, your eyes light up … Jeez, you're such a romantic little girl in love. It's horrifying."
Kurt lifts his eyebrows and for a moment his mouth just hangs open, until he recovers. "Well, someone has been staring at me, Mr. Fun."
Sebastian looks like Kurt hasn't said anything. He seems on a mission, which is bad news, because his intentions are never noble, Kurt's learnt that fast. "Think about it. I can teach you any kind of seduction. Blaine would fall for you in the blink of an eye."
Kurt rolls his eyes, letting his pen fall onto his exercise book and lifting his chin smugly. "First of all, I told you I don't like Blaine." Of course, he doesn't really like Blaine, not at all. "And this isn't what you offered last time. Not that I'm going to go along with it anyway."
Sebastian sneers, but he still looks amused at the conversation. Kurt wants to bore him so that he'll go away and leave him with his homework, of course for now, that's not going to happen.
"Oh really? So what are you supposed to do with a guy after you've got his attention? Are you going to hold his hand? Very, very sweet."
The moment the words are out Sebastian's mouth, Kurt knows he won't accomplish anything until he'll be back in his room, where he'll be safe from the other boy. That's why he starts gathering his things up as he speaks, "It's up to me what I want to do with a guy and-"
"Hi!"
They get interrupted by a kind voice and they both turn around to gaze at Blaine, who's walking closer to their table, coffee in his hand as he waits for an invitation. Sebastian smiles and nods at the chair between Kurt and him, but Blaine is still kind enough to ask. "Can I join?"
"Of course." Sebastian answers innocently, which is so awkward. "We were just talking about you."
Kurt's heart immediately skips a beat as he has no idea what Sebastian might say next. It could be the most embarrassing ever and Kurt is trying so hard to hide his obvious crush from Blaine, it would be all wasted if Sebastian mentioned it like this, just to take some stupid revenge over him.
"Really?" Blaine smiles curiously. "I hope it's in a good way."
Kurt immediately turns to Sebastian, a little embarrassed and defeated at the way his face has dropped. He can't help it though, not when he is so afraid that Sebastian might say something inappropriate. Sebastian winks at him though, the smirk never leaving his face. Kurt ignores the way it makes him clench internally because he knows it's just from annoyance. His nerves have never been as tested as they are around Sebastian.
"Kurt was just telling me about how amazing your performance was, of course."
Kurt sighs in relief, though his cheeks flush a little. At least Sebastian hasn't mentioned the way Kurt looks at Blaine in his opinion. Kurt doesn't think he's that obvious. He thinks Sebastian is just messing with him.
"Totally amazing." He adds himself, the angles of his mouth tilting naturally into a smile as he looks at Blaine. "You're so talented, Blaine."
When Kurt throws a glare at Sebastian, he is grateful that Blaine isn't doing the same, otherwise he would notice Smythe's disgusted face at the compliment. Kurt wonders if Sebastian has any idea of what good manners are, the answer is quite obvious though.
"Thank you, Kurt. You're way too kind. Unlike Sebastian …" Blaine smiles innocently in Sebastian's direction.
"You know I think you're super hot, Blainey. But I'd totally find you hotter if you'd stop stealing all the solos that naturally belong to me." Sebastian winks allusively and Kurt can't help his reaction with his eyes going wide.
The wink is enough to have Blaine blushing and looking away from them, his lips pressed together. It's nothing like the compliments Kurt gave him a moment ago and it makes Kurt feel humiliated and defeated because hey, Sebastian apparently knows how to compliment a guy better than him. Of course he does. Blaine is looking everywhere not to meet Sebastian's gaze, which at least means he is a little uncomfortable and not too flattered. He wouldn't meet Sebastian's eyes anyway though, because they're focused on Kurt now, and Kurt knows what it means. Sebastian is silently trying to convince him of the right way to do it (which is supposed to push him into making that deal with him). Kurt has had enough of his stupid ideas already and it's only been a week.
Sebastian smirks at him just once more before he turns to Blaine and whispers allusively, "I think someone needs to show Kurt around." His voice comes out quietly and Kurt notices that Blaine doesn't catch the sly tone at all. Kurt has no idea how that is possible, it's not like Sebastian is trying to hide his assumptions.
"I'm totally capable of showing myself around." Kurt lifts his chin proudly towards Sebastian, clearly challenging him through his gaze.
"Why?" Blaine asks, so that Kurt has to unwillingly interrupt the staring battle. "I could show you around, I mean if you want me to. Sebastian can be such awful company sometimes." He swings his hands in the air a little, laughing nonchalantly.
"No doubt about that." Kurt looks disgustingly interested in Blaine's words of Sebastian's opinion. "I've already experienced just how unpleasant he is." He regrets the words a little as soon as they're out.
When he looks at Sebastian, he can see that he's provoked him enough to suffer the pay-back. It's one of those moments when Kurt thinks the challenge between them is kind of toxic.
"So it's up to Blaine?" Sebastian shrugs. "I'm pretty sure Kurt looks forward to being introduced to your bedroom, Anderson."
Even though he can feel the blood pulse run to his temples, Kurt is pretty sure he has turned pale, so he instinctively looks down. And then he realizes that looking down kind of equals to admitting his undeniable crush. And that's why he looks up again quickly, right at Blaine.
"See! Sebastian has already shown me the worst side of him."
He is extremely relieved when Blaine laughs at the words and Sebastian sighs - because apparently his master plan just failed.
"Yeah," Anderson sniggers, "he is totally inappropriate."
"Hey!" Sebastian interferes again. "Sorry guys, I'm still here in case you didn't notice; I totally understand that it would be easier for your hormones if you kept on pretending that my awesomeness ain't here, but there's no need to treat me awfully just because of my unbelievable sex-appeal."
Blaine winces fondly at him, but Kurt isn't ready to allow Sebastian to live without answering back. It's just so inevitable for him, he wants to fight Sebastian in any possible way despite the awareness of how childish that is.
"As you may notice, Blaine and I totally agreed on ignoring you," Blaine nods, but he is clearly enjoying their dynamic, "So don't complain because for the next minutes we are going to talk, ignore your existence or whatever might come out of your mouth."
"Such a pitiful way to pick up." Sebastian shakes his head in disappointment, wrinkling his lips smugly – which doesn't help Kurt fight his desire to slap him in the face. "If you want me to, I can prove that I could do so much better with Blaine."
Blaine lifts his hand to imply that it isn't a good idea but Kurt is already about to freak out: Sebastian is doing any possible thing to make his life harder and Kurt has no idea why is that or if there's a particular reason why Sebastian has picked him up as his favorite victim.
"Blaine is too much of a decent person to even look at you, you arse." Kurt has no idea whether it's a good idea or not to talk about Sebastian like this when Blaine is there. Not only because Blaine and he are apparently friends, but also because he is the newbie around here. It's probably awful of him to act this way and it doesn't help his reputation.
"Are you jealous?" Sebastian pulls him out of his thoughts because there's no way he actually said that out loud.
Kurt tightens his eyelids as if that could set Sebastian's inner organs on fire. But it doesn't happen, which means Kurt is already opening his mouth to reply. Blaine anticipates him though – which Kurt is thankful for, because he isn't sure what would have come out.
"Sebastian, stop." Blaine scolds him. "You're making our newbie uncomfortable, that's not cool."
For a moment, Sebastian just looks shocked at the fact that Blaine has just tried to shut him up, so Kurt guesses it doesn't happen too often. They stay in silence for a moment and then Sebastian looks back at Kurt.
"I'm sure Kurt knows I'm just kidding."
Kurt rolls his eyes, of course he isn't, but he'd never act touchy in front of Blaine, who is still smiling at them, maybe hoping they would wash off some tension.
"If you don't mind, guys, I'm leaving." The boy claims just a moment later. "I've got an important essay to deliver tomorrow and it needs to get fixed up a bit. Try not to kill each other while I'm away, okay?"
Kurt and Sebastian both nod and smile as Blaine stands up and walks away, but as soon as he's gone, Sebastian turns to him, Kurt knows what is coming.
"You're so deeply in love." He makes fun of Kurt. "Well, I can clearly understand that by the way. It's Blaine, after all. But could you keep yourself from drooling just in case? It's getting quite gross."
Kurt rolls his eyes again. "Why am I even wasting my time on you? Ahh, sorry. You didn't ask if you could join me. You just sat there before I could express my dissent."
Sebastian shrugs, not really interested in Kurt's protest; which makes it even more frustrating if possible. Seriously, how does he do that? How is he so good at irritating people?
"Did you see by the way?" Sebastian asks nonchalantly.
Kurt has no idea what he is asking for actually. It's a vain question and he knows that Sebastian is probably just trying to make him nervous.
"Your awfully creepy meerkat face?" He asks ironically, trying to hold his insecurities inside. "Sadly, I did notice that."
"I'll start calling you gay face as soon as this gay-harassment thing you went through washes off of you. "
Kurt suddenly blushes, feeling less at ease, because he has no idea what Blaine has told Sebastian or why he has. It's private stuff and Kurt isn't ready to share it with Sebastian the way he shared it with Blaine. Sebastian seems to notice how uncomfortable he is getting because, for once, he actually changes the topic.
"I was talking about my unbelievable sex-appeal by the way."
Kurt isn't sure how to feel about the fact that Sebastian might have wanted him to feel at ease once more. It's not something they've done during this first week at Dalton; anyway, Kurt thinks that Sebastian's flirting could be considered successful, only if his aim was to make Blaine run away and that's what happened.
"It's an awful way of behaving." He snaps, wrinkling the tip of his nose – some jealousy making him a little prissier. "You are awful."
"Whenever you change your mind – which I'm sure you will," Sebastian smiles, "I'll be willing to teach you everything you need to know in detail. And I'm also going to make fun of you and remind you just how right I've been since the moment I saw you, but you can pretend I didn't say the last part."
Kurt blushes again. He isn't used to explicit content – even if not directly expressed; it's just so out of his character and it makes him feel a little out of place. He really doesn't want to give Sebastian a chance to make him so uncomfortable.
"I'm not going to change my mind." He breathes out quickly, worried that Sebastian might actually consider the possibility of it. "I don't need you to teach me anything. I'm fine and I really don't need …. those things anyway."
"Okay." Sebastian surprisingly nods and Kurt winces once more. "Your choice, but please don't come to me crying when you walk in on Blaine making out with some dude who's more willing to get it on."
Kurt hates the way these words make him hesitate. For a moment he even considers Sebastian's crazy suggestion, fearing the scene he announced might actually turn into reality. It's not like he thinks about accepting it anyway, he just lets himself imagine how it would be and what Sebastian would eventually teach him. The thought alone of it is enough to have him reluctant again – which is amazing, because Kurt hates having these kinds of doubt in his head.
"You don't even know if I like Blaine. I told you I don't!" Kurt whines but he's pretty sure that Blaine is the only one who hasn't noticed his crush yet. "I won't accept your stupid deal because I know it's just your excuse to put your dirty hands on me!"
Sebastian can't hold a laugh at his words, and wow, he's so good at being irritating, really. What a talent!
"My lady, you're so vain." Sebastian says ironically, relaxing his body against the back of the chair – which means the conversation isn't over in his opinion, so Kurt curses himself for having let the words out of his own mouth , "I swear I have more interesting people to put my hands on. But I've gotta say, the whole little chaste virgin thing is super hot."
"Your problem." Kurt states, lifting his chin as he always does when he's judging someone as hard as he's judging Sebastian right now. From the way he talks about putting his hands on every possible living being, Kurt is forced to wonder if he actually has some dignity hidden in there somewhere. "I'm not going to play your naughty games. I hate your meerkat face, you're rude and you make Dalton feel like Hell." He spits out, feeling almost on the edge of exasperation.
"Listen up, lady boy." Sebastian says, already giving up on his intention of not making fun of Kurt after the bullying incident, apparently. Kurt isn't sure how to feel about that. "I'm not doing anything bad. It's just an interesting offer that gives you the chance not only to learn about sex from the Sex God himself – which means I'd make you a perfect student – but also to enjoy the ride with me, if you know what I mean."
That is what convinces Kurt that he's had enough. Sebastian has no right to act like this, especially in a public space where anyone could hear their conversation. He stands up and he doesn't even say goodbye to Sebastian before he walks away. The further from him, the better.
Sebastian stares as he walks away. He's clearly amused, the smirk never leaving his face. It's not like he cares about Kurt in the specific; he just likes the idea of having his own personal toy at Dalton. Teaching sex to a blushing virgin would get him a lot of fun during boring afternoons at Dalton. It's grade A entertainment. He's so aware that sooner or later, Kurt Hummel is going to realize his own lack of sex-appeal, which means he'll end up begging for what Sebastian has to offer.
/
"So, how's Dalton?" Mercedes asks curiously, her hands resting on her thighs.
Kurt has his back leant on a pillow and he shivers a little at the ice cold glare Rachel turns gives him at the question. Kurt knows she hasn't forgiven him for transferring to the rivals' school, even thought she does understand his reasons. A little contradiction mixed with awareness is just typical for Rachel Berry.
The intense exchange isn't Kurt's biggest problem at the moment though. His biggest issue is that he has no idea how he is going to answer this question. There are ups and downs there and even though Kurt can call it a progress if compared to the agony of the last months, he wouldn't say it's perfect either.
However, he settles for, "You'd call it Heaven. They're all kind and warm and sociable. No one judges you at first sight and there's a crazy blond guy – I can't remember his name – who suggested we sing Spice Girls at Sectionals." It doesn't sound too convincing, especially when his voice is bitter and tensed. He knows whose fault that is.
Rachel and Mercedes look at each other for several moments, their eyebrows lifted in doubt. Mercedes is the one to speak.
"I believe it is. I mean, a school in which someone suggests Spice Girls and it's not you." She utters unsure, so Kurt knows they have both noticed his tone.
"It is." Kurt murmurs quickly; if it wasn't for one detail (not such a small one), Kurt would actually think Dalton is the perfect school for him. "It's quiet and then there's Blaine …"
When Rachel blinks subtly, leaning towards Kurt and squeezing his thigh playfully, Kurt is already regretting having said the name out loud. He has no idea what is the connection that happened in his head, doesn't know why he pronounced Blaine's name if he was thinking about Sebastian and ways to avoid mentioning him. It's like Blaine is the alternative to it. Maybe talking about Blaine won't make him feel as uncomfortable as talking about Sebastian would (because let's be honest, it's not just the idea of Sebastian, it's all the dirty stuff that involves their conversations that makes him reluctant).
"Oh my God, look at you!" Rachel squeaks and claps her hands together. "You're so in love that you can't hide it to your girlfriends! That's so cute!"
"I'm. Not. In love." Kurt complains, his cheeks flushing darker. "Blaine is kind to me and he's pretty. I've never met another guy who was openly gay, not to mention a boy who was so gentle to me."
Kurt hates the way he bites his tongue as he says it. He doesn't know if the words are true anymore. Sebastian hasn't told him about his sexuality, but it's sort of evident, isn't it? Does that mean he is openly gay? Well, he isn't in the category 'openly gay guys who are gentle to Kurt', that's for sure.
"Of course." Rachel shakes her head sarcastically. "So you actually want us to think that you're all heart-eyed just because he is kind? I'm sorry but I doubt that."
Mercedes rolls her eyes because of course Rachel would talk about Blaine when all they need to know is if Kurt is doing okay at his new school.
"What's wrong with Dalton, Kurt?" She asks and Rachel shrugs, looking resigned as if she realizes what is actually important and what's for later. "You may not say it out loud, but it's evident that something is bothering you. Tell us about it."
Kurt hesitates for a moment. Bringing Sebastian up might be a huge mistake, but he has no one else to talk to about that. And then again, it's not like he needs to spit out all the details anyway. He can stick to the surface and not mention everything that Sebastian says to him.
So he takes one breath and whispers, "There's this boy-"
"Ohmygod!" Rachel squeaks in one breath. "This is amazing!" Kurt and Mercedes exchange weird looks, wondering what is about to come out of her mouth. "It's so clear to me! Kurt is madly in love with Blaine, has been so since the moment they looked at each other for the first time; but then he transferred to Dalton and found another handsome gentle guy and now he can't pick one. Oh my God! I'm so happy that you have two pretty guys crushing on you. Finally … I thought it was about time the gay population realized how attractive you are!"
"Rachel." Kurt cuts in, feeling a little stab at his heart somewhere in the middle of his friend's rambling.
He doesn't care about Sebastian, won't be bothered by the fact that he probably just sees Kurt as an object and nothing more than entertainment. It's irrelevant to Kurt. What does hurt is that Blaine isn't crushing on him. It's quite the opposite and Kurt is pretty sure there is no way a guy like Blaine might like him back. So far it's unrequited.
Rachel looks suddenly thoughtful and disappointed.
"It's not like that, is it?" She asks, frowning and pouting, arms crossed on her chest.
"No, it isn't." Kurt says, his face darker at the mere thought of Sebastian.
"Kurt," Mercedes utters seriously, "Are they picking on you again? You said no one judges you at Dalton and-"
"No, no. It's not that." Kurt hurries, and he has no idea why he feels the need to correct her. What Sebastian is doing – calling him a girl and stuff – is totally offensive and Kurt is pretty sure it is some sort of harassment. "Let's say this guy isn't a prince when it comes to kindness."
"What do you mean?" Rachel asks and she looks serious too now. "Is he offending you or something? Like, calling you names?"
"Yeah, kind of but … I'm not sure about what he thinks. I don't know if he's being mean, or maybe he just thinks it's funny."
Kurt winces for a moment as a realization hits him. If Sebastian actually thought of Kurt the things he says to him out loud, why would he ever want to … put his hands on Kurt? The thought of it alone makes Kurt shiver.
"What does he say then?" Mercedes asks and Kurt notices the way they're both leaning to him; it's never a good sign.
Telling about Sebastian's comments would be awful and humiliating, and it would make his friends go crazy; but telling them about Sebastian's scandalous proposition is even worse. No way he'll say it. It's something that is going to stay between them because it won't happen anyway. It's not like Kurt would accept, so eventually Sebastian is going to get tired and stop trying.
"He's just being an idiot." Kurt shrugs, trying to look more at ease. "I just need to get used to his ways of behaving I guess."
The girls look at each other again; Kurt clearly knows they're deciding if they should trust him or not. He feels blessed that they aren't staring at him, because otherwise, Kurt is sure they'd realize he's only told part of the story. But it would be a good idea to interrupt their intense staring at each other. Girls usually do that creepy thing of communicating with their eyes and it's not good for Kurt's sake right now.
"There are tons of pretty guys though." He prompts, immediately getting the girls' attention. He surely knows how to work with that.
"Pretty in a Blaine kind of pretty?" Rachel pouts. "He's the target, don't forget about that!"
"He's not a targ-" Kurt tries to complain.
"Are the guys there tall?" Mercedes leans in just like Rachel. "I mean … do they look like private school boys from movies? Tall, blond, blue-eyed princes?"
Rachel looks at her, confusion over her features.
"What about the infamous black men superiority?" She asks, considering that Mercedes has spent the whole week complaining about how flabby white boys are.
"It's a nice place." Kurt interrupts them. "And there are all kind of boys, blonde ones, Asian ones," his mind suggests awkwardly tall and slim ones, but Kurt ignores it because of reasons, "Let's say a private boys-only school is quite perfect for a gay guy."
"Voyeur!" Rachel comments spontaneously and they all burst out laughing.
The conversation becomes lighter and funnier. Kurt feels so much better about the change of topic because he's so not ready to deal with the whole Sebastian thing right now. But still, it's always there, in his head, and he never manages to push the thought of Sebastian away for too long, which is quite oppressive. He wishes it's not the beginning, hopes Sebastian will get tired of bothering him soon.