AN: I'm really super excited about this one. It may not be long, but I promise the ending will be great, if not (modestly) clever.

DC: Who invented Time Square anyways? Whatever, it wasn't me.

Rodgers and Hammerstein II – Stephen Sondheim – Irving Berlin –

"Minion," Voldemort said one uneventful afternoon. "I'm bored."

"Mmm." Said Snape who was concentrating very hard on finishing his article for The Monthly Brew, a magazine dedicated to tea.

"I think I shall Apperate around the world, for the hell of it."

"Mmm."

'…but as an avid Leaf Head myself, I can certainly give my opinion on the controversy between Irish and English tea…'

Snape ignored the pop, and continued scribbling away in his meager editorial column.

Rodgers and Hammerstein II – Stephen Sondheim – Irving Berlin –

It is a well-known fact that it takes the most experienced wizard to Appearte merely across a continent or ocean. It's a little known fact that probably not even Merlin himself could have Apperated successfully around the entire world, though he never tried. This might be because he was worried about Splinching himself, or maybe he saw doing so as a point defeating action, since the idea was to end up in exactly the same place as you started.

Whichever the case, Voldemort was unaware that a) it was should never being attempted, and b) if it even did work, it was sort of like setting a previously aflame house on fire.

And thus it is understandable that when he opened his eyes, he was not, as he expected to be, in Malfoy Manor, but in a huge, unfamiliar metropolitan.

This place, according to his glance upon the first sign he thought would indicate the name of it, was called Coca Cola, a Refreshing Twist of Lime and Lemon!

Then he saw all the other signs, and thought, "Damn."

For there were bright fluorescent lights everywhere, saying things like "Wicked, Coming soon!" and "M&Ms" and "Bank of America" and "Avenue Q" and "Subway, Lines B, D, S, Penn Station."

They really ought to pick one name and stick with it, the Dark Lord thought, now exploring along the sidewalk filled with people all wearing black trenches.

And finally he happened upon a glorious pronunciation via information booth: Welcome to Time Square, New York City!

They call this a square? Voldemort wondered skeptically, glancing around. More like a multi-lateral… thing.

So the Dark Lord wandered for a while, not once thinking that he could probably Apperate back home within the next 15 seconds. You should all be glad he didn't though, because if he did he would've left NYC and that would've been the end of this rather pointless fic.

Then, dusk fell. And Voldemort realized his true meaning for life.

From within a darkened theatre he witnessed singing. And laughter. And voices. And music. And happiness.

… And the posters on the wall boasting that hundreds of grands had been made.

Voldemort's pupils changed comically to pound signs, which changed to dollar signs as soon as the American editor fixed them.

"My new passion in life!" he shouted to the heavens, interrupting the performance of Hairspray. "Musical theatre!"

… Meanwhile, Snape finished his article and unknowingly pulled another piece of parchment to him.

Rodgers and Hammerstein II – Stephen Sondheim – Irving Berlin –

AN: That was fun. I love NYC, Broadway, etc. This fic will be amazing. If not a vehicle to poke fun at New Yorkers a little.