CHAPTER ONE: MIXED EMOTIONS
Dear Hermione,
I can't control my feelings for you anymore. I love you too much to keep it all bottled up. Just the other day I saw you looking so beautiful. I can't hold back. I won't hold back. You are what I looked forward to seeing everyday. Hermione, I want you to be my girlfriend.
Love,
HARRY P.
That's what she read in the letter beside her bed. It came with a bouquet of white roses, her favorite. As most people know white means pure, as she also was. And she intended to keep it that way.
Harry was changing. He was more intimate and very possessive. She knew how aggressive he could get. It may end up horrifically. She didn't want to think about what might happen between them. Since Sirius died two years ago he's changed a lot. He wasn't the same old gentle Harry.
She looked at the time. It was early and everyone was still asleep. She got up and went to the bathroom. She got in the tub and started to fill it up. She figured she would have a nice relaxing bath. It was about twenty minutes later when she began being conscious of the time. She reckoned that she should get out soon. After she got out and dried herself she was feeling good. And on days like these she gets real giddy. She put on muggle powder with a scent of lavender. She put on her best white blouse and black skirt. 'What would I do about my hair?' she thought. She decided to put on the clips her grandmamma gave her before she past away. With a bit of gloss she ran out the bathroom door leaving a faint scent of powder.
She was walking out of her dorm room when suddenly someone kissed her. She pulled away. To her surprise it was Harry. He pushed her to the wall and began kissing her passionately while rubbing her back. Hermione however pulled back with all her strength. With her hands she pushed him 'til he fell down on the floor.
"HARRY! What are you doing?" she said in a muffled voice careful not to wake other students.
"Just kissing my girlfriend. Why?" Harry said with all confidence.
"Apparently Harry your thinking to much. I haven't agreed yet. Don't get ahead of yourself!" She said a little mad. How can he think like this?
"What? It's me! You know, Harry? Your best friend! How can you not agree? I'm practically your type!"
"You are so stuck-up! How do you know my preferences anyway?" she angrily said. "And by the way I'm never agreeing!"
"What?" Harry asked puzzled. Then after two seconds he spoke. "Oh, I get it! Ha! Ha! Ha! You're just joking me. Right, Hermione?"
"No, Harry. I'm not." She said with all the self-control she had left.
"You've been Ron's girl! Why can't you be mine?"
"There was a time that I loved you! But it was a long time ago! You still liked Cho Chang then. You are just too wrong timing!" She was wondering why it just burst out of her like that. Harry looked just as surprised as she was. He was just about to speak when Hermione suddenly spoke.
An embarrassed Hermione just chose one option: to make an excuse and run. Yet it seemed a bit relieving to get her feelings out in the open. "It's getting late! It's getting very late!" She said. 'What a dumb excuse!' she thought. She looked at the clock; it said 7:00. 'Two hours 'till class! It's way too early! He's not going to buy this one. Just walk away Hermione, just walk away.' And that she did. With red cheeks she broke into a jog out of the common room.
Harry was chasing after her. "Was it too sudden 'Mione? I promise to take it slow. Please? Give me a chance!" He said as he caught up with her in a deserted hall. Then suddenly he grabbed her leg.
'What is he doing?' Hermione thought. 'He's like a child! He's so desperate.' She felt almost disgusted. But suddenly Harry stood up. Grabbed her and laid her on the floor. Kissing her all over vigorously.
She was kicking like crazy, signaling him to stop. She couldn't shout since most of them were still asleep. He smelled funny. He smelled like beer. 'Was he drinking?' She thought. Then one button snapped then another and then another. After she managed to pull away she sat up with an open blouse, which exposed her bra. Harry's expression changed. Hermione stood up and started to button her blouse.
"'Mione...I'm..." Harry stammered but Hermione cut in.
"How could you do this to me?" She said as she started to cry.
"Oh, baby." Harry said sympathetically. When suddenly she slapped him with all her might and ran out in the distance.
.....................................................................................................................
Hermione ran to her refuge. A place best left deserted. A place reserved for her. As she came across two large oak doors she suddenly felt safe. She was at the Library. She didn't bother to look back.
"Your early Hermione." Said Madam Pince as she was arranging the books on her desk.
Hermione nodded quickly and ran to the back of the library. Madam Pince shook her head and got back to work. Muttering under her breath about how kids these days have no manners.
She was practically running. Her heart was racing. What if Harry chased her? She wasn't aware where she was heading her vision was a blur from all the tears welled up inside. When suddenly she collided with some one. Both of them fell on the floor with a loud thud. She heard a groan. When she opened her eyes she saw Draco Malfoy.
"Watch where you're going. Mud blood!" Draco snapped as he dusted himself of. Hermione didn't pay any attention to him but instead she stood up and rested her head on Draco's shoulder, embraced him and cried. Draco was at first disgusted and appalled. He tried shaking her of but she held tighter. Then he decided to let it pass. He could tell all the pain she felt was surreal. He embraced her back. He didn't know why he did it. It felt almost comforting. She was trembling so hard from all the crying.
Hermione didn't know what pushed her to hug him like that. She just needed someone to hold on to. He was so nice to embrace. His robe seemed so soft and smelled good. She felt his hands embracing her too. 'Why did he do that?' She thought to herself but the tears couldn't stop flowing from her eyes.
.....................................................................................................................
At the common room Harry was sulking away. He got a knife that Uncle Vernon gave him when he told him to kill himself. He refused but still kept it. He thought he might need it one day. He began slashing his wrist. It was not like himself. And why did he do that to Hermione? Chasing her around and manipulating her like that. He was deep in thought when Ron came out of the boy's dorm. He saw Harry sitting in a corner he seemed to be working on something.
"Hey Harry! Good morning!" Ron said brightly.
"Hey!" Harry said as brightly as he could. Hiding his wrist from Ron's view.
"Where were you last night? I didn't see you sleep." Ron asked.
"I slept very late and got up so early. Sorry." Harry lied. He didn't sleep at all last night waiting for Hermione's reply. All that waiting for nothing! 'But the game's not over yet.' He thought. I could still get her. He glanced at Ron. He couldn't tell him just yet.
Ron could tell something was wrong but he couldn't just go ranting about forcing Harry to confide in him. He just let the topic go for a while.
"Come on let's get some breakfast." Harry told him he motioned to leave. Still hiding his wrist with the initials H.G. dripping with blood.
"How 'bout 'Mione?" Ron asked. A bit puzzled. Usually it was Harry who told him to wait for her.
"I don't think she'll come...she went to the...uhm...library." Harry said unsure.
"Oh, okay. Let's go. I'm starved!" Ron walked out the door with so much anticipation to eat. Harry followed staring at his wrist, which was now red with blood.
Dear Hermione,
I can't control my feelings for you anymore. I love you too much to keep it all bottled up. Just the other day I saw you looking so beautiful. I can't hold back. I won't hold back. You are what I looked forward to seeing everyday. Hermione, I want you to be my girlfriend.
Love,
HARRY P.
That's what she read in the letter beside her bed. It came with a bouquet of white roses, her favorite. As most people know white means pure, as she also was. And she intended to keep it that way.
Harry was changing. He was more intimate and very possessive. She knew how aggressive he could get. It may end up horrifically. She didn't want to think about what might happen between them. Since Sirius died two years ago he's changed a lot. He wasn't the same old gentle Harry.
She looked at the time. It was early and everyone was still asleep. She got up and went to the bathroom. She got in the tub and started to fill it up. She figured she would have a nice relaxing bath. It was about twenty minutes later when she began being conscious of the time. She reckoned that she should get out soon. After she got out and dried herself she was feeling good. And on days like these she gets real giddy. She put on muggle powder with a scent of lavender. She put on her best white blouse and black skirt. 'What would I do about my hair?' she thought. She decided to put on the clips her grandmamma gave her before she past away. With a bit of gloss she ran out the bathroom door leaving a faint scent of powder.
She was walking out of her dorm room when suddenly someone kissed her. She pulled away. To her surprise it was Harry. He pushed her to the wall and began kissing her passionately while rubbing her back. Hermione however pulled back with all her strength. With her hands she pushed him 'til he fell down on the floor.
"HARRY! What are you doing?" she said in a muffled voice careful not to wake other students.
"Just kissing my girlfriend. Why?" Harry said with all confidence.
"Apparently Harry your thinking to much. I haven't agreed yet. Don't get ahead of yourself!" She said a little mad. How can he think like this?
"What? It's me! You know, Harry? Your best friend! How can you not agree? I'm practically your type!"
"You are so stuck-up! How do you know my preferences anyway?" she angrily said. "And by the way I'm never agreeing!"
"What?" Harry asked puzzled. Then after two seconds he spoke. "Oh, I get it! Ha! Ha! Ha! You're just joking me. Right, Hermione?"
"No, Harry. I'm not." She said with all the self-control she had left.
"You've been Ron's girl! Why can't you be mine?"
"There was a time that I loved you! But it was a long time ago! You still liked Cho Chang then. You are just too wrong timing!" She was wondering why it just burst out of her like that. Harry looked just as surprised as she was. He was just about to speak when Hermione suddenly spoke.
An embarrassed Hermione just chose one option: to make an excuse and run. Yet it seemed a bit relieving to get her feelings out in the open. "It's getting late! It's getting very late!" She said. 'What a dumb excuse!' she thought. She looked at the clock; it said 7:00. 'Two hours 'till class! It's way too early! He's not going to buy this one. Just walk away Hermione, just walk away.' And that she did. With red cheeks she broke into a jog out of the common room.
Harry was chasing after her. "Was it too sudden 'Mione? I promise to take it slow. Please? Give me a chance!" He said as he caught up with her in a deserted hall. Then suddenly he grabbed her leg.
'What is he doing?' Hermione thought. 'He's like a child! He's so desperate.' She felt almost disgusted. But suddenly Harry stood up. Grabbed her and laid her on the floor. Kissing her all over vigorously.
She was kicking like crazy, signaling him to stop. She couldn't shout since most of them were still asleep. He smelled funny. He smelled like beer. 'Was he drinking?' She thought. Then one button snapped then another and then another. After she managed to pull away she sat up with an open blouse, which exposed her bra. Harry's expression changed. Hermione stood up and started to button her blouse.
"'Mione...I'm..." Harry stammered but Hermione cut in.
"How could you do this to me?" She said as she started to cry.
"Oh, baby." Harry said sympathetically. When suddenly she slapped him with all her might and ran out in the distance.
.....................................................................................................................
Hermione ran to her refuge. A place best left deserted. A place reserved for her. As she came across two large oak doors she suddenly felt safe. She was at the Library. She didn't bother to look back.
"Your early Hermione." Said Madam Pince as she was arranging the books on her desk.
Hermione nodded quickly and ran to the back of the library. Madam Pince shook her head and got back to work. Muttering under her breath about how kids these days have no manners.
She was practically running. Her heart was racing. What if Harry chased her? She wasn't aware where she was heading her vision was a blur from all the tears welled up inside. When suddenly she collided with some one. Both of them fell on the floor with a loud thud. She heard a groan. When she opened her eyes she saw Draco Malfoy.
"Watch where you're going. Mud blood!" Draco snapped as he dusted himself of. Hermione didn't pay any attention to him but instead she stood up and rested her head on Draco's shoulder, embraced him and cried. Draco was at first disgusted and appalled. He tried shaking her of but she held tighter. Then he decided to let it pass. He could tell all the pain she felt was surreal. He embraced her back. He didn't know why he did it. It felt almost comforting. She was trembling so hard from all the crying.
Hermione didn't know what pushed her to hug him like that. She just needed someone to hold on to. He was so nice to embrace. His robe seemed so soft and smelled good. She felt his hands embracing her too. 'Why did he do that?' She thought to herself but the tears couldn't stop flowing from her eyes.
.....................................................................................................................
At the common room Harry was sulking away. He got a knife that Uncle Vernon gave him when he told him to kill himself. He refused but still kept it. He thought he might need it one day. He began slashing his wrist. It was not like himself. And why did he do that to Hermione? Chasing her around and manipulating her like that. He was deep in thought when Ron came out of the boy's dorm. He saw Harry sitting in a corner he seemed to be working on something.
"Hey Harry! Good morning!" Ron said brightly.
"Hey!" Harry said as brightly as he could. Hiding his wrist from Ron's view.
"Where were you last night? I didn't see you sleep." Ron asked.
"I slept very late and got up so early. Sorry." Harry lied. He didn't sleep at all last night waiting for Hermione's reply. All that waiting for nothing! 'But the game's not over yet.' He thought. I could still get her. He glanced at Ron. He couldn't tell him just yet.
Ron could tell something was wrong but he couldn't just go ranting about forcing Harry to confide in him. He just let the topic go for a while.
"Come on let's get some breakfast." Harry told him he motioned to leave. Still hiding his wrist with the initials H.G. dripping with blood.
"How 'bout 'Mione?" Ron asked. A bit puzzled. Usually it was Harry who told him to wait for her.
"I don't think she'll come...she went to the...uhm...library." Harry said unsure.
"Oh, okay. Let's go. I'm starved!" Ron walked out the door with so much anticipation to eat. Harry followed staring at his wrist, which was now red with blood.