Broken, this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
"She used to be my wife." Tony couldn't believe he was saying these words. He thought about Michelle every single day, but he could not comprehend that she was in the same room as he was. To him she was a dream, something that could not be fully grasped.
Heller looked from Tony and Michelle. He did not know what to say or what to do. He didn't know if there really was something to do in this situation.
Michelle had to do a double take when she saw Tony standing there next to Heller. She couldn't be more shocked than at that moment, but she couldn't show it. Michelle figured the best way to deal with the situation at the moment was to ignore Tony.
Michelle walked straight to Heller and held out her hand. "Hello, I am Michelle Dessler. I will be taking charge of CTU."
Heller held out his hand and shook Michelle's. "Nice to meet you. I have heard about your long list of qualifications. I believe you are acquainted with Tony Almeida." Heller glanced back and forth between the two.
"Yes I do." Michelle nodded at Tony and then turned back to Heller. "May I speak to you in my office so you can catch me up with what is happening?"
"Yes of course," Heller replied and followed Michelle up to her office.
Tony followed Michelle with his eyes. She made a point of not looking at him. Tony could not believe this is what they were resorting to. He lived three years of his life solely for her, and now she wouldn't even acknowledge him. That is what it has become to. Tony scrubbed his face with his hands and shook his head trying to clear his mind of thoughts about Michelle, it was hard. He went over and joined Sarah at her desk and saw how they were coming along.
Michelle closed the door behind Heller and did not waste time with him. "What is Tony Almeida doing here?"
Heller almost laughed at the abruptness that Michelle showed. "Tony saved Jack Bauer and my daughter's life earlier today. Currently he is commissioned at CTU under Jack's suggestion and he was acting as temporary head of CTU while we waited for a replacement."
"I see, Jack says it is ok to hire him and he is back. Nobody even took in consideration to his history?" Michelle questioned.
"Driskell knew Tony's history and found no problem in letting him work here temporarily at least. Are you going to have a problem with this? We just got rid of one head of CTU because of emotional interferences, are we going to need to do the same for you?" Heller asked suspiciously.
Michelle stiffened her posture. "Of course not, there will be no need for any such thing."
"Good, I figured that would be the case. Now if you don't mind, I have to give an update to the president." Heller exited the office and descended down the stairs.
Michelle looked around the office. She couldn't help but think of her old CTU days when she wanted this office so bad. Now she did, she just wished it could be under better circumstances. This building held so many memories and Tony's presence would not help. Michelle figured it would be best if they just talked and cleared the air since they would have to work together. She thought it would be that simple.
She looked down from her window and saw Tony sitting with a woman at her old desk. It felt like something stabbed her in the stomach as she saw Tony sitting there. She shook it off and headed out of her office to address everybody.
"May I have your attention." Michelle looked around and waited until everybody was looking at her. She avoided making eye contact with Tony. "I will be in charge of CTU now. I have been briefed on the situation with Jack Bauer. We are to give him our full support. I want to know the instant that Jack calls. I have worked here at CTU many yearspreviouslyand understandhow the system works.Well, get back to work."
Tony turned back to the computer screen in which Sarah and him were looking at the blackout radius. Then he heard his name.
"Tony, I would like to see you in my office," Michelle called out and then headed back to her office.
Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
Tony got up from his chair and looked around the room. Almost everybody here knew his history and Michelle's, thus them staring at him openly. Tony started up the stairs with everybody's eyes still watching him openly. He had this strange feeling as if he was being called to the principals office and everybody should be going "oooooooooh" like he was in trouble.
Now that Tony was in close proximity with Michelle, he could really look at her. He didn't like what he saw. Her features were stiff and her eyes were cold, exactly the opposite of when they were together. She had looked so soft. That was how he would always describe her, soft and warm. But now, that was not true.
Michelle would say the same for Tony. He looked so cold and unfriendly. So different from the man she once had been married to.
Michelle was the first to speak. "Well, I bet you can guess why I wanted to talk to you."
Tony looked at the wall instead of meeting Michelle's eyes. "I'm assuming not to catch up on old times."
Michelle shook her head. "I just thought it would be best to clear the air between the two of us since you are supposed to be working here."
This time Tony looked straight at Michelle's eyes. "Clear the air? You have got to be kidding me." He actually laughed, a cold heartless laugh.
"Well we can not just pretend that there is no history between us."
"If you mean being married. I have no idea why that would interfere with our work performance."
"Never mind, it was pointless. You are being your usual impossible self."
"Yup that is me, Mister Impossible." Tony started for the door and had his hand on the handle when Michelle's voice stopped him.
"What is your problem?" Michelle asked.
"You are not seriously asking me that question. I just enjoy working under my Ex-wife when everybody knows that I am more qualified for the job."
It was Michelle's turn to laugh. "I am sorry to disappoint you but drinking beer is not a qualification for the job."
Tony rolled his eyes. "We are not going through with this again."
"Just give it up Tony, you are an alcoholic and that is what drove me away. You are the reason I left."
"I am the reason you are still alive today," Tony countered.
"If I hadn't been married to you none of it would have happened."
I feel so broken up
And I give up
I just want to tell you, so you know
Michelle's words hit Tony hard. Those words had been in his thoughts every day since it had happened.
Michelle saw the hurt in Tony's eyes and for a few moments regretted that she had said that, but then she hardened.
Tony didn't need to take this he got up close to Michelle so their faces were just a few inches a part. "I gave up everything for you. I put everything on the line for you and ended up losing everything."
"Well, if you weren't willing to make the sacrifice for me then you shouldn't have gave in to their requests," Michelle replied coldly.
Tony stepped back and groaned. "You still don't understand. I was willing to make that sacrifice. I wouldn't change what I did if I could. But, you didn't seem to understand everything I gave up and you didn't give me time to work through everything."
"You were drinking your life away. You were pushing me away. I thought I was doing you a favor."
"I loved you and you broke my heart."
Michelle sighed and rubbed her face. She did not need this.
That was when Tony saw it for the first time, the gold band with a sparkly diamond on her hand. Michelle followed Tony's eyes and quickly dropped her hand as if she were ashamed.
Tony spoke first this time. "I see, glad to know you got over me well and enough. Who is he? When is the wedding?"
"Let's not do this Tony."
"No, I think I have the right to know."
Michelle hesitated, "Leon Hale and the proposal just happened."
"That sniveling weasel?"
Michelle rolled her eyes. "You don't know him like I do. He was there for me when nobody else was."
Tony shook his head, trying to clear it. "Well, as long as you are happy? It's just a shock that you moved on so quickly, congratulations." Tony turned and walked out of the office and went back down to check up on any progress with Sarah and Curtis.
Michelle watched him as he left and then sat down heavily at her desk. She stared at her ring for a moment as she twirled it around her hand. "I am happy." She didn't sound that convincing.
Here I go, so dishonestly
Leave a note for you, my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone
"Curtis, has Jack called yet?" Tony questioned.
"No he hasn't and he should have. It's been over twenty moments since the lights have gone out," Curtis replied.
As if on cue, Sarah's phone rang. "Yes, Tony it's Jack.'
Tony reached for the phone and Curtis put an arm in front of Tony. "We are supposed to tell Michelle as soon as Jack calls."
"Well, then you better go tell her," Tony replied. "I need to talk to Jack."
Curtis nodded and walked up to the office slowly.
Tony picked up the phone. "Jack?"
"Yeah," Jack answered. "Paul and I just barely got out of the building. We are on our way to CTU now. Paul is wounded and we need for medics to be ready. You are going to need to set up some teams to work on decoding these papers."
Tony sighed, "I am afraid that I would not be able to do that. I am not head of CTU now."
"What do you mean Tony?" Jack asked, puzzled.
"They brought in somebody else from division to take charge."
"So who did they bring in?"
Tony looked around and saw that Sarah was eavesdropping on the conversation. Whatever, what did it matter? "Michelle," Tony whispered.
"Shit," was Jack's response. He knew that this would get messy. "Have you talked to her yet?"
"Oh yeah, we caught up and everything. Did you know she is engaged to Leon Hale?"
"That sniveling weasel?"
"Yup."
"Well, Tony we can not let ourselves be distracted right now. There is a lot of work that needs to be done."
"Jack, I don't know if I can do this. Being back at CTU is hard enough. But with her here, she does not want me here."
"Tony, just hang in there. We need you."
Curtis came up to Tony. "Dessler wants you to transfer Jack up to her phone."
Tony followed his orders and sat back in his seat with a sigh.
"Michelle?" Jack asked.
"Yeah Jack. So what is your status?" She listened to the same update that Tony got. "I will have the teams set up when you get here."
"Good, is there anything else?" Jack questioned.
"Actually, I did want to speak to you for a moment. Are you sure about having Tony back here?"
Jack knew that this was coming. "Yes, I do. You don't give him enough credit. We need everybody we can get today, and if it weren't for Tony I would be dead."
"I understand," Michelle spoke softly.
"Listen Michelle, Tony is hesitating being here enough without you to worsen it. Treat him like any other employee. He has not had an easy life and you really did break his heart, and he never really got over."
"I see, I will do my best Jack."
"Thanks Michelle. I will be at CTU in about five minutes." With that Jack hung up.
Michelle stared down at Tony. She never told anybody how Tony had broken her own heart when he pushed her away. She never recovered and she never really got over Tony. Leon couldn't hold a flame next to Tony.
Who knew what the day held. Maybe there still was a chance for her and Tony. She looked at her ring for a while longer and then decidedly took it off. Even if Tony didn't want her back or it didn't work out, there was no fooling herself any longer. Her heart would belong to Tony, and Tony only.
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one I let go,
there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
A/N, Hope you enjoyed this ficlet. This is mainly what I think will/want to happen on Monday. The song is Only One by Yellowcard. Very good song. Please drop a review if you like it and I have a couple of other Tony and Michelle fics dating back to second season. That seems like ages ago.