It changes nothing.
[7x06] : Things happened before the curse was cast, right ? Regina tries to stop Drizella, but as time passes, their relationship turns into something unexpected… and not displeasing. But it changes nothing. Drizella/Regina (StepQueen). Henry/Cinderella and Hook/Tiana evoked.
Drizella is a young broken woman.
No one will discuss it, not even Regina.
Especially not her.
The one who is not any more the queen hated by everyone could just recognize herself in this young woman who may not be more than twenty years.
Maybe a little more.
Maybe that she saw herself in her, too much, and that, just seeing her suffering, she didn't see her anger.
She didn't see the darkness in her, maybe because she preferred to believe that the young woman was not as her, as just used to be, that she was better than her.
That her heart would stay pure, and that she would be strong, despite the pain.
Oh, how wrong she was !
Drizella didn't fall, in the end, in fact, not during this day.
Simply, she already fell before Regina decided to help her, and what they lived together was just a trigger.
Darkness were already here, in her, coming from some years to support the attitude of a mother who was never able to love her, never showed her any affection.
Who just wanted to kill her.
It wasn't surprising that it destroyed her.
And it wasn't strange either that Regina tried to help her, to preserve her, to save her.
But she is not the Saviour of the story, and she just made things be worst than before.
Lady Tremaine and her created a monster, she realizes with horror.
Despite that, she knows that there will be a part of her which will always care for the young woman.
Even if she is her enemy now, and Regina can just think with irony that, in a way, Lady Tremaine and her have now an enemy in common.
It doesn't stop them from fighting each other.
Drizella runs, flees, and Regina almost wants to ask her to stay.
Tell her that what she did isn't that horrible, that she herself did worst, that it's not too late.
But she shuts up, because all of it is useless.
So she flees too.
What else can she do ?
§§§§
There is a part of Drizella who is thankful toward Regina.
(The other part of her hates her for what she made of her, what is still good in her hates her for showing her what power was, and how to use it.)
She saved her, allowed her to flee from her mother's influence, made her understand who she really was.
Without her, she would probably be dead, or at least, serving her mother.
Or married to a man she doesn't love, doesn't desire, and that she hates deeply.
And his only useful action had been to make her fall into darkness.
So yes, she just can thank Regina.
And she feels kind of a regret as she had to betray her, to let her without a thank you, and she wishes the other woman sees things as she did.
She dreams of another version of the story, where the one who saved her would be on her side, and not against her.
But it won't happen, never.
And even if she will never confess it, and even though her heart is darkening, she suffers from it.
§§§§
Regina could have been her heroine.
Drizella could have been her student, her friend, the one who would have needed her.
They won't be something like that.
Something had been broken this day, when Drizella did that terrible choice.
Something that, they both know unconsciously, will never be fixed.
§§§§
Sometimes, Regina thinks that Drizella lied to her, since the beginning.
Not on everything, that's true, not about her pain, her anger, or her despair.
She couldn't have faked so much, in fact, it's something Regina likes to think.
But about her practice on magic, the former queen has the impression that she didn't tell her everything. She is too good as this so it can't be a coincidence, or maybe that it's just because of the fact that her magic was asleep since years, and that she needed just an instant so her power would wake up.
(Just as darkness themselves, that were in her without her realizing it.)
She hopes that, finally, the young woman didn't manipulate her, in order to learn magic, and that she really cared about her.
(Herself doesn't understand why it seems so important for her.)
§§§§
Henry is falling in love with Cinderella.
(That, everyone can notice it, as everyone can see the fact Tiana and Hook are close to each other.)
Just as Cinderella, by the way.
The former queen approves it entirely, and she thinks that this young woman is exactly the person Henry needs.
Regina looks at her, and she sees Drizella, some times.
She sees what this broken woman could have been, should have been, would have been without the toxic and poisoned influence of Lady Tremaine.
(Or not.
Or Drizella would have been this, because it was who she was.
But according to Regina's experience, evil is made, it isn't born alone, so she doesn't believe in this theory.)
Time pass, and things stay as they are.
On Regina's or Drizella's side.
The first understands that a Resistance is something complicated to organise.
The second realizes that you need time to cast a Dark Curse.
Time passes before they see each other again.
§§§§
Drizella never loved men.
No one she met ever pleased her.
Well, the truth is that she just never loved people, in fact, she never met people with who she could build something.
She is just the bitch everyone hates, and that, since forever, that's what her mother taught to be (was she ever able to be something else ?), and it won't change, not as she is more alone than she ever was.
Drizella succeeds to survive, alone, in this world, and it's almost a miracle.
Especially as she is alone against everyone.
Her asset is that her main enemies, her mother on a side, the Resistance on the other, never thought about making an alliance against her.
Except Regina (and maybe Henry and Cinderella), no one takes her seriously, or sees her as a threat, and they don't think she will succeed, after all, the Dark Curse is one of the most difficult spells to cast.
(And where will she find a heart to crush ?)
They are wrong, and she will prove this to them.
§§§§
With time, Regina feels more and more anger and sadness, as Drizella becomes powerful, and advances in her project, and she blames herself because it happened because of her.
Rumplestiltskin and Henry are there to tell her that it's not her fault, but she doesn't succeed to believe it.
It is what she did, just as Lady Tremaine.
This is her mistake, and it kills her to know that she can't change anything.
§§§§
They often see each other, as Drizella does everything in order to win, and they fight, of course.
Because this is what they are supposed to do.
(But strangely, they never succeed to hurt the other.
Regina feels too guilty, even though she does everything to stop her.
Drizella didn't fall enough, even though she seems to want to stop her.)
And sometimes, despite all the signs, Regina dreams to succeed, to make it, so Drizella can do as her, and come back on the side of the light.
This hope is going to destroy her too.
§§§§
The first time it happens, it's an accident.
They are alone, fighting, again, through magic at first, and then, just one against the other, because they stop being hypocritical, because they don't want to kill each other.
Because, event though their link happened just during one day, it matters for both of them, it matters even more for Drizella, who has no one, whereas Regina has Henry and Rumplestiltskin (and also Cinderella, in a way.)
They are here, they fight, and they are in pain.
And suddenly, everything change.
For a moment.
Drizella gets tired of it, and maybe that for a moment, a light instant, she doesn't want it to continue.
She kisses Regina, like that, without warning, and even if it's strange at the beginning, then, it seems to be as an evidence for them.
She doesn't know why she is doing that, maybe it's just because she wants some human contact, and there she realizes that she could have never been interested by Henry.
There is too light in him.
And even if this is not really the case in Regina, she still sees the darkness in her.
She would so much want her to come on her side !
Regina, strangely, replies to the kiss, and it doesn't mean anything now, and they have no idea of what they are doing, but it doesn't matter.
Now, just right now, they aren't enemies any more.
It's strange, unexpected, and impossible.
But it's also wonderful, great and amazing.
But it changes nothing.
It will never change something.
With a sad smile, Drizella leaves, breaks the kiss, and runs, letting Regina alone, unable to breath or think, for some seconds, and for a moment, she doesn't care.
Then, she remembers that her and Drizella are enemies, and that that kind of things shouldn't happen, and should have never happened.
What she just says to herself, is that she never felt so alive than at this moment, and that, since a long time.
§§§§
She tells nothing to Henry.
She tells nothing to anyone, because announce that she has a relationship with the public enemy number 2 (as she was just after Lady Tremaine) isn't something she can confess.
It's not even a relationship, in fact, Regina doesn't know how to qualify this, it's more a mistake than something else.
They finally slept together. It happened after many hidden kisses that they can't explain.
They feel alone, that's true.
But it can't be the only reason.
It's like a truce for her, a moment where they can forget everything. The Resistance against Lady Tremaine, this one's will to bring back her daughter to life, Drizella's dark heart, and the fact that they should fight and not love each other.
A moment where they can say that they don't care.
(They regret nothing, despite the fact that they shouldn't be doing it.)
They don't love each other, of course.
They can't, because they are enemies, because they are supposed to hate each other or at least fight each other. And they do, when the other are here.
(When it's not the case, things are different, and more interesting.)
No, they don't love each other.
Well, not officially.
(If Emma was there, she would see the lies, the one they do to the other and to themselves.)
§§§§
Time passes again, and everything becomes worst than before, and Regina really begins to be afraid.
Not because of her relationship with Drizella.
But because of what Drizella is becoming.
Her heart is more and more colder, and it terrifies the former queen.
She would want to forget, sometimes.
Forget what Drizella is.
Forget that she just wants to cast the Dark Curse and break their happy ending.
(But Regina isn't happy, not entirely in fact. Drizella could have been her happy ending, but it's too late now.)
She succeeds to make things more difficult for Drizella, many times (if this one had so much difficulties to cast her spell, it's for a reason), but the young woman never reproached her her actions.
She smiled, every time it happened, as if she saw it as a game.
Regina remembers what she was when she was the Evil Queen, and she trembles.
Little by little, she sees the shadows grow up next to Drizella and it terrifies her.
§§§§
She finally gives up, and confesses the truth to Rumple and Henry, as to Hook.
None of them judges her, nor Henry (he is too good for that), nor Rumple (he slept with the Evil Queen version of Regina. He has nothing to say.). Nor did Hook, he is just looking at her with surprise more than with disapproval (he knows what it is to be in a forbidden relationship.)
But they all agree on the fact that she has to stop it.
In an atrociously ironic way, Hook is the first one who understands, in a certain way.
Even before Regina, in fact.
"That would be funny, you know, he said by laughing lightly, if you fell in love with her."
The two other laugh, thinking it's absurd.
Not Regina.
The pirate understands this, and suddenly, he freezes.
His smile disappears, and a grave air appears on his face.
"Oh no… Don't tell me you're falling in love with her ?"
Regina prefers not to answer.
§§§§
And they stop, of course, because it's what must be done.
Regina had a long discussion with Hook before. Because despite her reason, she didn't want this, and, ironically, he made her come back on the good side.
"You have to stop this Regina.
- You think you can judge me ? You're the one who left with the wife of someone else !"
It's naughty, and cruel, and also totally pointless, but Regina needs it.
(She feels at that moment that, when she is with Drizella, her bad instincts come back.)
She has no time to apologize, as Hook talks again.
"I'm not saying this against her, nor even against you. But for you. Because it will destroy you in the end."
She wished she didn't agree with him.
But unfortunately, he is telling the truth.
And she suffers from it.
He adds.
"You won't save her, despite all your efforts. Because she doesn't want it. She made her choice."
She doesn't cry, but is not far from it.
Why did she never fall in love with the good people ?
(It's the first time she thinks it. That she tells herself that, maybe, it's the case.)
The day after, she stops everything.
She hopes she didn't imagine the sad look and full of pain Drizella gave her.
She hopes her decision didn't make her fall even more into darkness.
(By the way, it's too late.
They will be no them, there never was.
It was messed up since the beginning.)
§§§§
When she doesn't fight and that they are in peace, or sort of, Regina asks herself is Drizella ever loved her.
And if she didn't, if she could have, in other circumstances.
She will never know, and that is also destroying her.
If she knew everything, it would be worst.
Drizella finally ripped out her own heart.
She learned it from the witch of the tower (who would be then captured by Lady Tremaine), and didn't want to feel something, except her anger, so she took it away from her chest.
If she ever loved Regina, it wasn't the case now.
(The fact that she took it the day following her "break-up" with the former queen had to mean something.)
§§§§
They never told to each other I love you.
It would have meant nothing, not as at each instant, one risked to kill the other.
Not when they didn't know themselves what they were feeling.
Not as they were enemies.
Not when it was easier to see nothing.
Not as it risked to hurt them too much.
Not as their story was dead before having the chance to exist.
Sometimes, during the night, Regina curses Lady Tremaine for what she did to her daughter.
It appears as more ironic as, in the end, Drizella did it.
§§§§
This story has to end badly, it must be.
She finally succeeds it, to reunite all the elements she needs to cast the Dark Curse.
And Regina is here, to stop her, because she has to do it, because it must be done.
And it breaks them both.
Drizella isn't the one who crushes the heart (or it would be Regina's, surely, because she is the only person she really cares about. She feels no love for her mother, she never loved Cinderella, and Anastasia died, so…)
She found how to do it, but even though she isn't the killer, she did the spell.
Now, Regina is ready to kill her, because this is the fatale end, and she can't go back.
But Drizella, even though she isn't stronger than her, is as powerful as she is (at that moment, the Dark One isn't there, doing something else, and when he will be there, it will be too late) and she defeats her.
But she doesn't kill her.
The part of her which doesn't do it because she cares about her is too weak now, but Drizella listens to it despite everything.
And she listens, even if what she wants to do is to integrate her in her plan.
Regina is lying on the ground, unconscious and Drizella walks in her direction.
She smiles.
She put her heart in its true place some times before, because it will be useless in a world without magic, as no one will be able to take it from her.
And she wants to feel again.
And as she looks at her, her heart is full of sadness, and maybe a little of love, too.
Drizella steals a last kiss from her, and she cries also, a little.
(She mourns what used to be and never will be.)
And, as the curse is going to take them in this unknown place where Drizella will be able to destroy her mother, she tells her, as a last goodbye, still crying, and with a low voice :
"I love you."
It changes nothing.