The skool's bell clanged, sending a harsh racket all over the grounds and rudely waking any students who had fallen asleep. Zim, being one of those students, let out a loud shriek and jumped up onto his desk, looking around wildly and trying to identify the source of the noise.
Dib, who had been watching Zim for most of the class, let out an exasperated sigh and got up from his desk.
"It's just the school bell, Zim," he said, watching Zim glance at him sideways like a cornered animal.
"You LIIIE!" Zim screamed, pointing a finger at Dib.
"What? How can I be lying? It IS the school bell!" Dib protested in disbelief.
Finger still pointing, Zim blinked. "YOU LIE!"
Sighing again, Dib shook his head.
With Dib distracted in his head-shaking, Zim made his hasty exit from the classroom.
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"Zim!"
Zim glanced over his shoulder at the voice. "Eh?"
Dib quickly ran up to him.
"Ah, listen," Dib said nervously, rubbing the back of his (gargantuan) head and looking at the ground. Zim watched as one of the filthy worm kids was jabbed in the eye by Dib's spiky hair. The kid immediately dropped to the ground, clutching his eye and screaming in pain.
"So what do you think?" Dib finished, looking up at Zim with a bright smile.
Zim immediately focused on Dib. "Eh?"
Dib frowned. "Weren't you even listening to me?"
Zim switched back to Dib from where he had just been watching Gaz. "EH?"
Dib grabbed Zim by the shoulders and shook him.
"Listen, Zim," he said angrily, "I just asked if you wanted to see a movie! What's your answer?"
Zim stared at him for a few seconds, his face blank. "You're plotting something, aren't you?"
"No, I-"
"AREN'T YOU!?"
"I SAID NO! I just…well…I'm don't have much to do this weekend, except stalk you-"
"What!?"
"Uh, uh, track you! I don't have anything to do but track you, and as fun as that is, I'm getting a little tired of it. So I was wondering if you wanted to see a movie."
Zim frowned at Dib, suspicious. "Don't you have any smelly human friends to go frolic and roll in mud with?"
Dib sighed. "No, Zim, in case you haven't noticed, I don't. I don't have any friends. Not one. Not even one. They all think I'm crazy. No one likes crazy people, Zim. No one does."
Zim turned his back on Dib and folded his arms. "Well I don't like crazy people either."
He started to walk off, then turned around.
"Crazy!" he called, then took off running.
Dib, trying not to grin, shook his fist angrily in Zim's direction.
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"So," Dib sighed, fiddling with one of his robot action figures, "another weekend alone."
Weekends were probably his least favorite part of the week. Even more than the school days, where he was called crazy and big-head, because he knew all the terrible kids in his class were all at home with their families, having a better time than he was. He, the sole defender of Earth. The thankless job of a hero was a trying one, and it always left Dib drained, not just physically. Sometimes, after thwarting one of Zim's schemes, he would just collapse on his bed and think. Think about what a horrible life he had, Think about how no one actually cared about him. Think, horrible, depressing thoughts about how humanity would never be there for him, even though he would always be there for it. How not even his family loved him. That he was the "crazy, big-headed freak". How all the kids spat his name like he was some kind of disease. He would think about the fact that he was totally alone, with no one to relate to. Even his Swollen Eyeball group had tired of him, and Dib called less and less frequently. After the Santa Claus incident, Dib had grown steadily bored with saving humanity, and even more bored with his own life. He didn't have much motivation to be defender of Earth anymore, or even to live. There was a time when he has a great burst of motivation, and that was when Zim arrived.
Zim…Rolling over onto his stomach, Dib reminisced about the day he first saw Zim. That day, he knew he had a purpose, and that purpose was to stop Zim's plans for world domination and be the hero of Earth. The funny thing was, as time went on, Dib realized what a thankless job being a hero was. Despite saving the Earth and all of humanity dozens of times, he was ridiculed and beat up. It seemed to Dib that, even if he exposed Zim, he would still get no thanks and would be made fun of even more, and he was afraid of that. Every paranormal investigator has been laughed at, but this was ridiculous. All of humanity seemed narrow-minded and dim-witted. If they couldn't perceive a threat…then why should he?
Dib suddenly sat up, caught up in this revelation.
Yes! Why should he be the only one to know of Zim's threat? Why? Humanity deserved to be annihilated, after what he'd been through. He could just pretend that Zim was a normal human being, and maybe he, Dib, could live a normal life. He could still investigate other paranormal events (secretly, of course). His only regret would be that he would have succumbed to changing his life so that people would like him more. But since they would all be wiped out anyway, who cared? Actually, he didn't need to be wiped out…
Dib swung his legs over the side of his bed, thinking hard. Maybe…maybe he could make a…truce with Zim. He and Zim could be friends! He and Zim weren't that different if you thought about it. They hated a lot of the same things. They also agreed on a lot of the same things. Zim's robot…thing seemed to like him. So what was there to lose? He should go over there right now and tell Zim that he was resigning as besieger of his plans.
A friend…A real friend, not Gaz, who ultimately hated him with all her heart, but a friend, a true friend, someone he could sit with at lunch, someone he could talk to, someone who wouldn't call him crazy, his one source of sanity in this insane world…
Dib leapt off the bed in his excitement, and, slipping on a floppy disk, went smashing face-first onto the floor.
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Face slightly smarting from the floppy incident, Dib hurried up the path in front of Zim's house. He ran up to the front door and knocked hurriedly, shooting a worried glance at the lawn gnomes.
Please, Zim, please just this once don't set your lawn gnomes on me…As Dib bobbed up and down in impatience, nobody answered the door. He frowned, rang the doorbell, and resumed his bobbing.
The door opened a little, and the robot poked his head out and looked at Dib.
"Yahoo!" it screamed, clapping its hands together and stomping its feet. "Are you here to play with me?"
"Maybe later," Dib said quickly, pushing past him and running into the house.
Gir stood in the living room for a few seconds, then sniffled.
"Dib and his head don't wanna play with me…" he said sadly, then pulled a stuffed pig out of nowhere and held it up in the air above his head.
"GUESS YOU'LL HAFTA DO, PIG!"
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"Zim! Zim!" Dib called, running off the descending platform before it even touched the ground. The platform had taken him down to Zim's secret base, but Dib was too absorbed in finding Zim to take in its splendor.
"Zim!"
Zim spun around in his chair at the sound of Dib's voice. "Huh?"
Zim saw Dib running toward him, his arms outstretched, and he let out a terrified shriek, thinking that Dib was going to squeeze him until his squeedelyspooch exploded.
Dib, reaching Zim, clasped him by his shoulders.
"Zim! You'll never guess why I'm here!" he began.
Zim continued to scream in terror, not listening to Dib.
"I'm here becaue-"
"AAAH!"
"Listen! I'm here because-"
"AAAAH!!"
"I said LISTEN! I'm here because-"
"AAAAAAH!!!"
"GrrRRR-SHUT UP AND LISTEN!!!"
Zim shut up and listened.
"I'm here because I want to call it quits, or make a truce," Dib said, stepping back and letting go of Zim's shoulders.
Zim blinked. "What's the catch, fleshy Earth boy?"
"Nothing! I was just thinking, I was tired of all the abuse at school and at home and at the mall and, well, everywhere, so I decided I should just quit. You can go ahead and destroy humanity. I won't get in your way any longer."
Zim stared at him in surprise. "Really?"
Dib nodded. "Mm-hm. I was thinking maybe…we could be…friends?"
Zim snorted. "Friends, huh? And what makes you think that you, Dib-scum, have anything in common with me, Zim…uh…superior?"
Dib straightened. "A lot, actually. We both hate a lot of the same things. We also agree on a lot of the same things. Remember Super-Peepi?"
Zim stared at him. "No- Wait! Yes I do! Hey, but you didn't do that much to help me!"
Dib scowled at the floor angrily. "That's 'cause they put me in a crazy bucket. And then you kicked me while I was in it, and I crashed into a tank!"
Zim laughed nervously. "Oh yes, I remember. Good times, they were."
"Not for me!" Dib yelled. "But anyways…what do you think?"
Zim studied Dib's outstretched hand thoughtfully.
"As long as this isn't a trap, or a ploy, or a setup, and as long as you promise not to mess up my plans or expose me, then…"
Dib leaned forward eagerly. "Then?"
"Then…I…oh what the heck! Why not?" Zim said, shaking Dib's hand.
"Yes!" Dib yelled happily, then caught Zim up in a hug. Zim struggled weakly.
"I'm so glad that I've finally found someone like me!"
"Argh! Dib! Crushing! Squeedely! Spooch!"
"Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
"Grk! Losing…feeling…in…fingers…"
"Zim? Are you okay?"
"…the pain…"
"…oops…well, it won't always be like this. With me, crushing you."
"Need time…to heal…go play…with Gir…"
"OK, pal!" Dib skipped off happily to the platform/elevator and ascended to the living room, leaving Zim to lie in a crumpled heap of pain on the floor.
End of chapter one! Or maybe even the story? What do you think? Shall the friendship live on? Or shall it end in a heapin' pile o' pain? Tell me what you thought! Peace and love, and Dib is so cool!
Quote for…Ionno…now? :"I don't care HOW delicious he is!" –Zim (The Girl Who Cried Gnome)