DEAR DIARY (LysandreXReaderXCastiel)

((A/N: I know that it's weird for me to write this note at the beginning but I just feel the urge to write this…since someone requested for me to torture Castiel (again), I did this and since because her favorite character is Lysandre, I made him Castiel's rival. Just think about it, Castiel and Lysandre are near to be considered as 'best friends'…what if they become rivals? Please read and review))

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(yeah, I chose this border since the '~' aren't appearing on any of my previous stories…gomen for the confusion of my other stories…)

PART ONE

'Dear diary,

It seems that he's now comfortable with me. Even though he still has his trust issues, at least he's slowly opening up to me…at least now, he's letting me in. And this is enough for me. But I wish that he will really let me into his heart. I wish he'll soon realize these feelings I have.

Back when I met him, he was a snob. He didn't talk much especially about his self. He did insult me many a time but I just couldn't and can't explain it as to how I fell for him. Maybe it's because of that look in his eyes every time I talk to him. He would act all tough to me but his eyes were saying something different. It was as if he was afraid of something. I guess he was afraid to trust people. And he admitted it to me one time after I passed through his tough exterior.

Yes, he really is now opening up to me. He is now starting to trust me. And to prove that, he even slept on my lap one time. He no longer teases me with names but he teases me with things that I easily get embarrassed. But still, even if it's a tease or a serious word from him, I don't mind…as long as he's letting me near him.

His closest friend, who seems to be his best friend, already guessed my feelings and said that I should confess. But how can I? Or should I?

Things were going well already .But SHE arrived. I'm already used to Amber but SHE is different. She constantly tries to get near me, trying to make me her friend. She's also nice to everyone. But that time at the locker room changed everything for me. After telling everything SHE has done, I tried to warn everybody else but it seems that they don't believe me. They even told me to stop trying to ruin HER. I tried to prove that SHE really isn't what they think but it seems that they already took her acts for real and ignored me, avoiding me in the process.

Now everyone only sees me as a liar who wants to ruin someone's image…except for some…'

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"What are you doing here?"

I nearly jump from the spot I am sitting on the stairs. I immediately close my diary and look up to see that it's just Lysandre.

"I…uhm…" I stammer at him.

Lysandre eyes my diary and nods. "I'm sorry for not minding your privacy," he apologizes. "I didn't know that you write on your diary here. I guess I'll just talk to you later, then."

But before he turns to leave me abruptly stop him. "No, it's alright," I smile at him. "It's not like there's also any interesting thing in my diary. What do you want me for by the way?"

"Well," he looks to his side to avert my gaze at him. "I just want to check up on you if you're alright with how things are."

"I thought you already know the answer to that ," I reply looking down.

He sighs and sit beside me. "Do you want to talk about it? I can listen to whatever you have to say."

I just keep quiet. I want to say something…something…anything to just let this pain in my chest go away. I am afraid to break. But I am already breaking. But I won't cry. I won't let myself to cry in front of anyone…not even in front of Lysandre.

I am thankful that Lysandre are one of the few who believe me. He is actually the closest ally I have now.

But the fact of Castiel not talking to me like he usually did hurts me a lot. It pains me to see him change his clothes back to his old clothes when Debrah was still studying in the school. But as most people think, his red mane doesn't match his attire. He looks much better before he changed his hair to crimson…for her.

"You're spacing out again," Lysandre points out.

I am thrown back to reality when he said that and I just look at him with apologetic eyes.

"It's alright," he faintly smiles at me. "It's not that I can blame you. Most of your friends think of you as a liar and the real liar gets away safely with everything she has done."

"Lysandre, didn't you talk with Castiel about Debrah's real color?" I ask.

"No. I never had the chance to talk to him," he sadly answers. "That's the worst part, isn't it? Even the man you love doesn't even believe you."

Again, I look down the ground. "I'm actually planning to seek Amber's help for this matter. She knows better about things that have the label of 'revenge' and 'mischief'." I smile a little, thinking of all the times me and Amber fought and now we are technically on the same side who wants to oppose Debrah.

"Don't do anything that can harm you," Lysandre says as he places his hand on top of mine with the lightest touch. "Rosalya already has a plan and she's looking through it."

"But I can't just stand and be hated more and more every day!" I complain. "I have to do something at least."

He just sighs at this, then smiles at me. "You never really give up, do you? First when you heard the noise from the basement, you investigated even though Nathaniel and Castiel were telling you stop. Then, now..." he stands up and looks down to me with a nostalgic smile. "I know I can't stop you from doing what you want so I guess all I can do now is wish you luck."

With that, he leaves. He leaves but a tint of pink creeps over my cheeks. I don't know why but for some reason, I find that smile of his is very different from the smiles he usually give me.

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'Dear diary,

Here I am again. I am such an idiot, aren't I? I should've just followed Lysandre's advice to not do anything that can harm me. I did talk to Amber but she just brushed me off, saying that she knows Debrah's real color from the very start since she knows if a person is faking his or her tears or not.

I saw her with her friends a while ago, though. And it seems that her plan of revenge is on work. She just dumped a bucket of toilet water to Debrah via window of the second floor. I tried to stop Amber and when I gaze down to see if anyone's hurt, the others saw me and accused me of dumping the bucket! And also, Amber had already run off.

I got scolded by the principal and she gave me detention while Debrah's furious face are glaring daggers at me but with people around us, it changed to her I'm-innocent-face and started crying.

I wish…'

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"YOU!"

I literally jump as I stand up from my seat on the stairs as my diary falls to the ground. I look up and see a very furious Castiel. What is he mad at?

"C-Castiel?"

"I told you stop your lies already, right?! And yet you keep on doing the same thing! But what you did to Debrah was the last straw!"

I cringe at the dangerous tone of his voice. "But Castiel! I'm telling you, Debrah isn't really the girl that you know! She just used you and Nathaniel to be singer! Why won't you believe me? I thought I am your friend!" Why? Why does it hurt to say that word: 'friend'.

"Look, just forget me! Forget that I exist! Stop with your lies and stay away from the people I like!"

I feel that I'm breaking. I want to cry. No, I won't cry. I won't cry! And I speak without thinking. "I LOVE YOU CASTIEL! AND I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO BE BROKEN BY THE SAME GIRL AGAIN!"

With that, I run away. I hear a loud thump behind me. Even though I really don't want to, my head tilts a little to see from the corner of my eyes that Castiel has just punched the wall beside him. And just close my eyes, trying to stop my tears. I continue to run until I bump into someone. I look up to apologize only to see Lysandre with a worried face.

"Hey, what happened?" he asks worriedly.

I just shake my head as I bite my lip. I won't cry! I won't cry.

I think he sees the look in my eyes that he nods in understanding. He gently takes my hand, making look back at him.

"Just let it all out," he says tenderly. "Let it all gone. I will be just here for you whatever happens. Come, and let it all out." He then wraps his other arm around my figure, urging me closer to him.

That's when I break. I bury my face in his chest and cry it all out. I feel his embrace tightens as his hand withdraws from mine to caress my head in a comforting way. His clothes is now getting soak with my tears. I am still in pain but as I listen to his heartbeat, I can feel that it somehow…slowly…calms me down. My cry grows faint until all he can hear is my deep breathing.

"Don't worry. Everything will be fine," he says as he pulls away and wipes the remnants of my tears. "Now, begone with your tears. I really hate it to see in that state…It bothers me. You have a nice smile…so please keep smiling for me."