Dave looked out at the sea. "Man where are we?" He was talking to the girl next to him who was Jane. Jane shrugged and gave him a slice of cake. She was baking in the kitchen the whole time up until now, which Dave was thankful for because he was really really hungry.

It was chocolate cake, his favourite. The three layers of scrumptious chocolate batter sandwitched hot fudge, white chocolate and also a layer of creamy insides. Dave licked his lips. Oh yes, this was going to be good. He slowly took a forkfull of the chocolatey goodness and was about to put it to his mouth when BAMP!

He was hit in the back of the head by Kanaya. She told him that Equius was getting sick and she didn't know how to fix it. Dave didn't know eaither. He told her he was probably getting sea sick. It would be great if he didn't accidentally smash the phone so that they could call for help. It also didn't help that none of them could swim or know which way was back to shore. It was probably a long way away anyway because they were in the middle of fucking nowhere. Which was disturbing. So Kanaya and Jane went back in the cabin and Dave followed them because he was tired and fuck it if he was going to sleep in the sun.

It was so hot outside the cabin. The surrounding sea only made things worse, causing a high humidity along with the surprisingly hot temperatures. The wind wasn't helping either. It was flimsy and dry and warm.

It was so hot that Equius was allready stripped down to shorts and Jane was trying to find somthing for her and Kanaya to wear. Dave hellped and got them some shorts and found a few button up shirts that they could tie up in the front. All they needed was the hats and Jane and Kanaya would look like cowgirls. And also Dave took his shirt off and went to go sit down.

Secretly both Jane and Kanaya wanted to jump Dave and take all his clothes off. Both of them knew it too. So they got together and whispered about how they were going to get him alone. What they didn't know was that Equius wanted to do the same. All these dirty minded people on the boat in the middle of nowhere were starting to make Dave nervous,.

"Man what's going on?" He asked.

Jane and Kanaya giggled. Equius feigned sleep.

Except he wasn't sleeping.

So when Jane and Kanaya went into one of the rooms giggling it was just Dave and Equius alone.

"Dave I want to yiff your hot butt."

"Nope, sorry."

"But it's so hot outside don't you want to take your pants off?"

"Look I know you want to yiff my hot butt but my pants are staying on because they are really comfy."

So dave took off his pants anyway because ehe lied, obviously. And he was really hot and he did have a hot butt. And Jane and Kanaya came back out of the room and had shocked expressions on their faces because Dave was naked before them. And he had a really hot butt. Obviously.

"Ladies and trolls, it's too damn hot for you guys to yiff me and my hot butt. So can it wait until tonight?" Dave said blushing because he knew what was going to happen.

It sucks that they were out of gas for the yacht because Dave was too lazy to go get some. And they were going to run out of food soon but that was okay because Jane had an infinite bag of baking supplies. One of the many quirks of being a part of an evil baking empire. And that's why they were stuck in the middle of nowhere on a boat, on Dave's yacht.

And night was coming fast. Dave didn't know if he wanted to bother Equius, Jane or Kanaya first. He was hungry and he couldn't eat because he didn't know how to cook. And it sucked because Jane was locked up in her room all day and everyone was getting hungry. So Equius cooked instead.

"Holy shit Equius, I didn't know you could cook!" Dave said through a mouthful of food. It was so good because Equius was secretly a good cook. He brushed his hands off on his apron and blushed dark blue.

"It's from all the recipes I find on pony websites." Equius admitted.

"Ponies no way!" Dave said. "My bro is way into ponies."

Equius smiles.

ladjbjvhbajhdfv I'm done for today. I'm hungry and tired AND i HAVE TO DO SOME CLEANING OKAY BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Also in case you haven't noticed this is a terrible fic. Yep, I pulled it out of my ass this morning. Will write more.