Chapter 1

Knock. Knock. Knock. I sigh & stride to the large door. Opening it, I find a very winded Finnick standing in the doorway. I look at him & pause to take him all in. He had his regular shorts & baggy brown shirt on, with his golden hair tousled, looking like he had just rolled out of bed & ran over here. He tries looking over & around me while panting, "Is Annie here? I really need to talk to her…"

I roll my eyes. Of course after his absence for nearly 2 months now he wouldn't even bother with saying a hello or how are you? Haven't even heard from him, or had a sign he was even alive. Instead of staying here to be with my sister, the person he claims to be the love of his life, he'd rather go visit the Capitol to sell his body to every women willing, leaving my sister behind who has now fallen ill. Suddenly I snapped, all of my anger spilling out of me. "Why the hell would I ever let you even speak to her? One day you're here, filling her mind with ideas of getting married & being happy together, & the next you skip out of the District & are flirting with every women you find willing in the Capitol, showing off your pretty face, your big muscles, & following their every wish & command? You didn't even tell her you were leaving! She thought you had changed your mind, didn't want her any more like she wasn't good enough, or pretty enough for you. You ran, you left her, & I know exactly why. It's because she's sick! She's sick & you can't handle that! You think it's that easy? To just disappear for so long & come back & expect everything to just be fine? That she'd even want to speak to you again? If it were that easy do you think I would do the same? It hurts me just as it hurts you but I can't run away, because if I did, then I would be just like you! And who would she have then? No one! Because no one she cares about can even stand to see her this way!" My voice is so shrill, even to my own ears. I feel the rage that was blinding me fade & I could barely even stand to look at him. I had been so angry with him for the longest time. Leaving her in the dust, & taking her heart with him as he did so.

My words hit him hard, I could see that it his eyes. His beautiful deep sea green eyes. He dropped his head in shame. Surely he couldn't have expected for everything to be the same. Nothing is that easy. Maybe I had gone a little too hard on him. I was right though, I had known that from the moment he had left. Seeing her like this, hollow & lost, like an empty bottle drifting through the cold, dark & violent sea. Looking at her gave an ache in my chest, & a tug at my stomach. After she had won the Hunger Games, she was never the same. But none of us were; how could you be? Unlike both Finnick & Annie, I was never a tribute in the vicious & gory battle that the Capitol forces upon us each year, but sometimes I wish I was. I wish that I had been there for her – to take her place & save her. Then maybe I would have been the crazy one, or maybe I would have died. That almost seemed like the better fate than this life of depression & mourning for my sister to be back with me, to be happy & smiling like she used to. Now she rarely smiles, & I only see that when she's wrapped tightly in Finnick's arms. I know that he really loves her, & that like me, he would do anything for her. The feeling of guilt washes over me as I watch his shamed face. "She's sick you know." He turned up his head & looked at me. "She has the flu, but she's recovering quickly." I nod my head to the door & walk him inside the large mansion that every victor receives after surviving the Games.

That was the last time I had talked to Finnick up until now. Only a week later Annie had recovered from her sickness & was more talkative than ever, probably since she had finally been spending time with him once again. We were sitting in the living room & talking while waiting for the mandatory announcements. We both knew that this would be the day they would announce the 3rd Quarter Quell, yet neither of us said it out loud. I wonder what horrific nightmare they would be staging this year. In the 2nd Quarter Quell they forced twice the tributes to battle to the death, making an exciting show for all the people sick enough to enjoy the terrifying violence & devastation. Every year after having to watch not only Finnick fight for his life, but also Annie, all I can ever think about are the poor families whose hearts are aching with the raw remorse of watching their own children being slaughtered right in front of their eyes, & being completely powerless. Luckily for me, they both had come out alive & are still in my life, although I think I really hurt Finnick with my harsh words. That's one thing that I couldn't handle losing, another person in my life who I love. After losing my parents at such a young age, he was kind enough to lend us a hand, knowing how hard it was when his own mother had passed. He taught us both to fish, to swim, & to throw knifes & spears, just as his own father had shown him. He was a natural at it; he could take down any fish in the ocean that was spread around District 4. Eventually we all became so close, that I couldn't help myself but fall in love with him, & apparently neither could Annie. It wasn't even the fact that he is undeniably gorgeous; he's so kind & gentle & patient. Like today, we would always be arguing, but that's just what I knew. I was bossy as a child, & still am, since I knew I would have to take the mother role, being the oldest out of Annie & me. It was hard to survive on our own for a while, but his family took us in & cared for us, until Finnick's father was killed in a boating accident, but I still have my suspicions. Like Finnick, his father was brave & strong willed. He wanted to challenge authority & was tired of the way people were being treated. But he was too early, the rise of the rebellion is now, & I have a feeling that Finnick will be playing a strong part of it.

Soon the television flickered onto Caesar Flickerman, sporting his new ridiculous color of sparkly lavender suit, hair, & makeup. Do these people even see how absurd they look? I think to myself. I've seen people in the Capitol who dye their skin actual colors like bright orange or a hot pink. To me, it just seems like a waste of money & a pitiful cry for attention. Expecting to see President Snow take the screen, I was a little taken aback when Katniss Everdeen"s pictures appeared on my screen. Each shot was beautiful with stunning white gowns each more amazing than the next. After about the third one I finally realized that they were wedding dresses. Suddenly I feel embarrassed; I didn't even know she was getting married. I guess I was just a little too caught up in my own problems, like my own wedding plans. Only a few weeks ago did my 'boyfriend" propose to me in front a wide portion of the Capitol Government. The man I'm supposedly madly in love with, Audante Heavensbee. That's right, the son of the Head Gamemaker of this year's Hunger Games, Plutarch Heavensbee. They both sicken me, although they are both quite kind & opening, how could I possibly love & marry a man next in line to control the same torturous event that had damaged my sister mentally past the point of recovery? How could I look into his cold dark eyes everyday & expect to find the same strong & warming faith that I have in Finnick? Why should I have to suffer & watch as every year his father & eventually him, strategize the mortifying deaths so carefully, finding a new creative way to personalize every tribute's death in a sick way to entertain those who are too shallow & blind to see the darkness enclosing it all? It made me stomach queasy & my heart ache as I tried imagining myself walking down the long aisle & promising my love to him for as long as we both shall live, which would not be very long if the rebellion doesn't conquer the Capitol by the time he's elected Head Gamemaker.

It was only two years ago when my sister & I had travelled to the Capitol for the annual Victory Tour, where the new victor or victors visit at each District, & then the former tributes all meet in the Capitol for a big celebration. This was when Annie is always by far at her worst, shaking uncontrollably & would sometimes start randomly screaming & knocking things over. I guess it was because it reminded her of the Games, & how scarring it was for her. She tries so hard to block it out of her mind, like it never even happened, so we never talk about them. About what happened in the arena, who we think will turn out the victor this year, none of it. It's like her brain just shuts down whenever someone brings it up, & instead of being the sweet 20 year old girl she is, she transforms into a savage. That's why I always get to accompany her in the Victory Tours. Normally each victor is escorted by their mentor, escort, prep team, & stylist, which in her case is Finnick, but although he is very soothing with her, they need me for the real emergencies. I remember that night so vividly, Finnick & Annie swaying softly to the slow & classical music, wrapped in each other's arms. I was just standing there, watching them torn- I felt envy for my sister, happiness that they could finally be together in public, & jealous of the love they shared. I wanted love, to share a special dance with someone, to feel that sense of always being wanted & needed, to giggle & feed each other food playfully, & be in that moment where nothing else matters when your with that one person. Instead, I was stuck in this ridiculous life of chasing around my sister's boyfriend, resenting her for winning over Finnick & his love, & standing by the side watching. Watching her live the life I always wanted. Being with not only Finnick, but finally finding that one person in the world that was completely perfect for her. And I knew that I couldn't do a thing about it, because they were meant to be together, & I knew in a heartbeat that if it came down to it, he would choose her over me, & she would do the same. I guess I should be more careful for what I wish for because only seconds later, a tall & skinny man who looked about 24, only 4 years older than me, tapped me on the shoulder.

"Hello, I noticed you looking so lonely & thought that you needed a partner to dance with." He gave me a crooked smile as he was practically leaning over me in earnest. Great, I thought to myself, it's noticeable. I looked up at his pasty face & thought to myself: Hey, why not? It couldn't get any worse than this. And of course, it did. He was actually very quiet & refined, keeping to small talk & didn't even make an attempt with flirting with me once. This was almost annoying, actually. I was pretty enough to at least make an effort at, right? His talk was mainly boring, about things like new inventions & the Capitol's sights to see. This I mainly blocked out & instead sized him up. He wasn't exactly ugly- maybe a little awkward looking for his age. He had a full head of slicked back dark hair, which seemed to be the fashion with men in the Capitol. His eyes were the color of a dark navy blue, with faded maroon swirls, which sent a chill down my spine for it reminded me of swirled blood in a dark lake. I thought this to be the most bizarre thing, but discovered later that colored contacts were all the rage. He had a sharp chin & angular features, with thin eyebrows that matched his dark hair. I couldn't help but compare him to Finnick as we danced. They were complete opposites of each other- Audante had tall, thin, sloping shoulders that made it hard to grip, while Finnick's shoulders were wide & strong, & was the perfect height: not too short yet not too tall. Everything about them was differing. Their hair, their eyes, height, personality, even their smells were different. Finnick always smells like sea salt & the sunshine, while Audante smelled like soap. He felt stiff as we danced a good arm length apart. It wasn't until he mentioned his career path that I tuned in. He bragged to me that his father was a Gamemaker & that he was planning on doing the same when he was old enough. This snapped me back into the conversation. My wandering eyes darted to his, & we just stood there a moment, eyes locked onto each other. He smiled, thinking that I actually found this attractive, like this terrible, terrible occupation might have actually drawn me to him. Instead, it did the exact opposite. I wanted to spit in his face & kick him in the gut, watching him double over in shocked pain, feeling only seconds of the agony each child he was destined to murder would suffer. Maybe then he would realize how revolting his prided work actually is. Or maybe not. It didn't matter though because I was far too smart to try to pull anything like that, especially while standing in the Capitol's Justice building. Instead I just glanced over at Finnick & Annie, not wanting to play along with his little fantasy of me enjoying his company. Eventually the night ended & he was apparently rather fond of me, although he had a poor effort at expressing it. I, on the other hand, couldn't even look him in the eyes anymore. I was practically forced into another date with him, & about 7 more after, leading up to the day only a few weeks ago where he actually proposed, asking me for his hand in marriage. In a depressing, boring, & tasteless marriage. I feel like vomiting every time the thought comes to mind, but of course I said yes to him. I had no choice, & I still don't. See, one thing about the Capitol is that the upper classmen hold all the power. He, being the Head Gamemaker's son, knew that I could not decline him. Knew that if I did, then they would hunt me down & hang me in front of my whole District, or worse, take it out on all the innocent lives that enter the Hunger Games for District 4, making sure that I forever regret the day I refused his marriage offer. They could even put someone I know, that I love, into the Hunger Games if they wanted to. That's what happened to Finnick, he's convinced. That if it weren't for him refusing the Capitol, then Annie's name would never have been pulled out of that bowl. Well, whatever the Capitol has in store for me if I back down, then I will most certainly rue it. They made that clear when a Peacekeeper was sent to pass the message on. He barely had to say anything, I understood immediately, so I only made one deal with him. I would marry Audante Heavensbee & spend the rest of my life at his fingertips, as long as nothing happens to Annie. Reluctantly it was agreed, & so far they have kept that promise.

My attention is drawn back to the flashing television as the anthem begins to echo throughout the large mansion. An old & tired face that I grew up watching flashed onto the screen. The cameras zoomed out to reveal a large stage with none only than President Snow himself. Like everyone in Panem with even half a mind, I also loathed him. Everything about him: his appearance, his powerful voice, & everything he stands for, speaks evil. Even the small little boy in a crisp white suit standing behind him looks petrified with fear. I feel pity for him as he has to share that stage with the leader of this horrible nation & even carry his wooden box of wickedness. Okay, maybe I exaggerate a little too much, but no words could describe how much hatred I feel for this despicable man. He clears his throat & begins to speak of the Dark Days that took place 75 years ago. The days that our ancestors made the attempt at overthrowing the government, & now we must pay for their mistakes by taking part in the Hunger Games. It seemed so unfair, so cruel that now we must suffer, just because all they had wanted in life was freedom. Since it's the 3rd Quarter Quell this year, Snow goes through each of the twists to the two previous years of Quarter Quells. When he finally gets to the announcing of this year's gruesome fate, my heart is racing so fast I can hardly think straight. I quickly get up from the couch & across the large living room, trying to escape to the kitchen were I can retrieve a glass of water. I'm about to enter when I'm compelled to turn to the television, not able to draw my attention away. I see the boy walk up to him & open the small box & watch as the President fishes out the envelope with the gold ink written 75. Painstaking seconds pass as he slowly opens the envelope & begins to speak in a calm voice. "On the 75th anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male & female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors."

His words drag me on my knees & knock the wind painfully out of me. The male & female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors… These words drift around my mind sending my head spinning. What does this mean? Annie could be reaped once again. I allow myself to replay that awful memory in my head: She was only 16 years old, small in my used baby blue dress, her brown curly hair tangled as always, gracefully falling down her back, with a matching bow that I tied in for her each morning. I can still hear the woman's squeaky voice announcing for that year's female tribute, "Annie Cresta." My heart skipped a beat & I began to breathe rapid, shallow breaths. I wouldn't let them have her. Frantically I grabbed onto her hand & tried to pull her away, into the crowd of faces we both knew so well. But she only stood there, frozen like a statue. Everyone stepped back & formed an empty circle around her while the Peacekeepers shoved me to the ground, ripping my hand apart from hers. I remember screaming awful, terrible things at them, using all of the filthy words I could scrap up in my mind. All I can recall after that is feeling Finnick's strong arms around me & my world fading to black.