Story Inspired by "She's My Little Girl," by Enation.
---
"It's a girl…"
Gibbs had a lump in his throat larger than he could ever remember. His heart leapt in his chest and for a moment he forgot how to breathe.
"I love you so much," he placed a soft kiss on Shannon's lips, tracing his hand through her hair as the Doctor looked on.
"Congratulations…"
"Thank you," Shannon managed through her tears, looking at her husband with fear and excitement. "A girl…"
"A girl." Gibbs repeated, placing a hand on her stomach. "Our girl."
Gibbs heard the whimpers from the monitor and decided to let his wife rest…walking quietly into Kelly's room and taking her from the crib into his arms. He hushed her with a few kisses and held her close to his chest. "Shh, Daddy's got you…" He swayed back and forth and rested his cheek on her head. "I've got you…"
Little did he know, Shannon was watching through the crack in the door.
It was then he began to sing to her… "Hush little baby…don't say a word…Mama's gonna buy you a mocking bird…and if that mocking bird don't sing…Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring…"
He didn't get far in the song before finding himself unable to continue. "The day I got your mommy a ring, I prayed for the day we'd be a family…I knew then how much I'd love you...I only hope I can be the Daddy you'll need me to be…and I promise…" He stopped to place a kiss on her forehead. "I will always be there for you…" A few tears were falling now as he rocked her back to sleep. "My baby girl…"
He curled back into bed and slipped his hands around Shannon's waist.
"She okay?"
Gibbs managed a smile as he closed his eyes. "Yeah…sleeping like a champ.'
Shannon was grinning ear to ear. "Didn't know you could sing…"
Gibbs stifled a laugh before assaulting her with tickling. "Think that's funny…"
"But I don't wanna go!"
Gibbs knelt down to meet her eyes and wiped the tears from her cheek. "I know you're scared baby…but you're a big girl now…and I promise we'll be here when you get home."
"I don't want to go to school…I want to stay here with you…"
His heart melted. "You gotta be brave."
"Like a marine?"
"Yeah baby…like a marine…"
He hugged her tight and he watched her get on the bus; doing his best to hide a tear from his wife.
"So now what?" Shannon posed the question with a smile.
Gibbs was still watching the bus drive away. "Is she allowed visits at lunch time?"
"When are you coming back?"
Gibbs set her on his lap and assured her it wouldn't be long. "I'll be back before you know it."
"But it won't be the same…with just me and Mommy…she doesn't read my bed time stories as funny as you do…"
He stifled a laugh. "It won't be forever…I promise."
"Will you bring me something when you get back?"
"Don't I always?" He hugged her close. "Now remember you gotta be…"
"Brave," she finished for him. "Like you."
He nodded towards her, placing a kiss on her forehead. "You know I love you…"
"I love you too Daddy…"
"I'm sorry Gunny…they're gone…"
He blinked a few times before remembering to breathe. "No…"
He ran into enemy fire hoping beyond hope that he wouldn't make it. That he wouldn't have to face life without them…without his little girl.
The dirt dropped through his hands as he stared relentlessly at the name plates.
"I promised I'd always be there for you…and I failed you baby girl…I'm so sorry…" He knelt down slowly to the ground and resisted screaming in agony. "I don't know if I can keep living without you…but I'll try to be brave…like you…"
It was days before he stepped into her bedroom…his mind taking him through the years of rocking her to sleep…bed time stories…tucking in her blankets…and good night kisses…
He knelt down beside her bed and wept into her pillow, breathing in her scent.
"My little girl…" He took the picture frame from her night stand and held the pillow close to his chest. "I want you back…I need you back…" He cried out into thin air, hoping to find some type of solace. "I was gonna take you to the Zoo the day I got back…had it all planned out…we were gonna spend all day staring at the elephants…when you were just a few years old you were scared of 'em, you'd say 'too big daddy…' but eventually you grew up, and one day you decided they were your favorite…" He let himself cry without words for a few moments. "There are so many more things I wanted to do with you…that I wanted you to see…but now…"
He set the frame back before staring in silence for what seemed like hours. After getting up he stood at the door way and remembered the day they'd brought her home…and the joy on Shannon's face. He shook his head as if pushing the memory away; the pain coming on too strong. But no matter what he did, no matter where he went…
They were there.
So he barricaded himself in the dark basement, and took apart the boat she'd helped him build. Piece by piece… ripping apart what was left of his heart.
When he was done he drowned himself in a bottle of bourbon and imagined her cradled in his arms.
It was then he sang to her…
"I hope these arms make you feel safe, and my voice makes you feel at home…In the deep places of your soul…where only God can go…May you swim, may you fly…in the grace of His light…and somewhere in our hearts, even in the next world…you will always be my little girl…"