"We need Bane."
No one in the history of mankind had said that after seeing someone dressed as Catwoman. But Abed was no ordinary member of mankind – now more than ever.
"Come on, Abed!" Annie insisted, expecting a better reaction after Abed saw her in her full, Anne Hathaway as Catwoman costume – mask and all. "You can dress up as Batman, I'll go as Catwoman, and we can still have fun seeing Dark Knight Rises together!"
"It doesn't work without Bane," Abed insisted again. "Bane's the third super figure in the movie. It doesn't work if only two of us dress as two characters. Christopher Nolan's too logical to make a mistake like that, and as his fans, we must live by his example."
"Right, logic…." Annie muttered, trying not to start another debate on the logic of 'Inception.' That wouldn't help Abed leave the apartment and see 'The Dark Knight Rises' midnight premiere without Troy. Especially since even the Catwoman costume wasn't working.
"Abed, I know it's been hard with Troy in the AC school. But we've had advanced tickets for this for a month! He would want us to use them! As Batman and Catwoman!" Annie pleaded. "We made all these plans to go and dress up, and we can still do 2/3'rds of that plan! So what if Troy can't play Bane now?"
"It doesn't work with two people," Abed stated. "It used to work with two people until last fall. Now that it's two again, it makes no sense. Better to stay here and wait until it gets to three again."
Annie chose to be flattered, if the 'last fall' comment meant what she thought it did. But it wasn't helping her in any other way. "Look, can't we just go as Annie and Abed instead, then? Can't we just have one very late night out and forget about what's happened for a while? Not even for Batman?" Annie requested.
"Batman needs Catwoman and Bane to make this movie work. The last movie raised the bar way too high for anything else. We need Bane," Abed repeated again before going back into the blanket fort, as Annie nearly hissed in frustration.
She understood why they couldn't see the new Spider-Man without Troy. It came out too soon after the air conditioning repair school took him, and his Spider-Man ties were still lying around at the time. But she didn't think Abed wouldn't even see the final "Dark Knight" movie without him.
Annie had tried to solve this alone, but it was clearly useless. Britta would be no help for obvious reasons, and Shirley and Pierce were probably out like lights by now. That left one obvious option.
She went into the pocket of her very tight suit, pulled out her cell phone and instinctively texted Jeff. Before she knew it, she texted "Can't get Abed to come out for Dark Knight Rises at midnight. Not even dressing up as Catwoman is working now. Any help here would help."
True, it was 9:30 p.m. now and Jeff was probably in for the night. But one mention of Annie dressed up as Catwoman would get him running over.
Just like that "screwed in the biology room" text worked on him months ago – then again, Annie was accurate in a non-sexual way. And it was a life and death situation with their grade on the line, so she had to go all out! This….was just a case of Abed not wanting to see a movie at midnight. Yet there was a lot more to it than that.
Still, Annie started to regret feeling that desperate, because she thought she couldn't do this alone. But she had to learn, if this apartment and Abed could survive.
Troy's absence at Greendale was easier because Annie had the group. But at home, living all alone with an Abed who wouldn't leave, it was a different matter. Without Troy and his occasional common sense, and with Abed lost without him, Annie was running this apartment now. She was practically the den mother from day one anyway, but now it all fell on her.
The only way that Abed, this apartment and Annie would get through this was if Annie led the way. That meant being the adult here, staying strong for both of them – and not running to Jeff when it got too hard.
Manipulation and using Jeff's repressed feelings against him worked to find a yam murderer. But the Annie who had to lead herself and Abed now was more adult than that. She had to be, or no one else would.
Annie sighed and prepared to erase the text – but while lost in her inner thoughts, she had instead sent it to Jeff. By the time she realized it, there was no way to take it back.
After panicking for a minute, she went back and texted "False alarm, Abed's fine! No need for you to get up on a Thursday night, we're a-ok, Bruce Wayne!" Ok and Wayne didn't rhyme, yet Annie figured Jeff wouldn't mind and would go back to lazing around.
With Jeff taken care of, it was back to worrying about Abed. They had less than an hour before they really had to leave and beat the long lines. Annie racked her brain for the next 15 minutes, as there had to be an idea she overlooked.
Unfortunately, there was something else Annie overlooked, and it was knocking on the door. She hoped against hope it wasn't who she thought it was – but those dreams quickly died hard.
"Jeff, I told you not to come for me!" Annie voiced. A part of her knew it was the worst possible phrase to use – especially with how Jeff was looking at her suit.
Then of course, he shook his head and made himself look unaffected and uncaring again, saying, "Well, I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd drop in."
"That's the best you've got, Jeff? Really?" Annie questioned.
"Annie, it's almost 10:00. It's a little late for me to be completely 'on' right now," Jeff pointed out.
"Then why even come here? My last text told you we're okay and I don't need help now!" Annie insisted, but Jeff went past her – yet took a look or two back at her in the suit – and peeked into the blanket fort to see Abed.
"Bane?" Abed asked, which told Jeff all he needed to know.
"Yeah, Gotham City is clearly on the mend," Jeff quipped as he smirked at Annie again. But this was one of those times when his smirk did more harm for Annie's mood than good.
"Jeff, this is a very serious situation! I thought for a while you could take it seriously, but I guess I was wrong! If you're just going to make jokes, drool over me as Catwoman and deny it means anything, then you can get out! Right now! It's hard enough being here already, okay?" Annie yelled.
Jeff opened his mouth, likely to say something sarcastic, yet he appeared to be holding back. When Annie felt the tears in her eyes, she figured out why. Even though her eyes were mostly hidden by the Catwoman mask, they were probably still Disney like anyway. It wasn't what she wanted to act like – and exploding at Jeff didn't make her look better.
"I'm sorry, Jeff….that had nothing to do with you," Annie tried to convey.
"Right, you told someone else to get out, I should have seen that earlier." Jeff frowned and groaned a bit from losing his battle with sarcasm. "Sorry, that had nothing to do with you, either," he apologized.
Annie just let it slide and went to sit in one of the recliners. Naturally, she wound up sitting in Troy's usual spot. Jeff stood nearby, obviously looking for more intel, so Annie filled him in.
"I miss Troy, Jeff. I miss having Troy and Abed together and living with both of them. And I hate that I can't make it a little better for Abed, if not for myself. I mean, I dressed up as Catwoman so he could dress as Batman, and we could see a movie at midnight! On a school night! And it's still not enough for him without Troy playing Bane! The worst part is he's kind of right," Annie realized.
"Not a lot about Abed seems right right now, so take from that what you will," Jeff stated, before biting back another groan from saying the wrong thing.
Annie ignored that and kept on her little spiel. "Being with you guys is the only reason I survived being expelled. So was living with Troy and Abed. Now Troy's gone and I can't help Abed survive it, no matter what I do. I got so desperate I called you over, but I can'tjust run to you to solve this! I have to start weaning myself from that habit eventually, I guess."
"Well, don't you have enough to do in fixing Abed? Why take on more tasks in the meantime?" Jeff asked semi-suspiciously, which Annie could not wonder about right now.
"I might as well learn now, before more stuff gets taken away! First we get expelled, then right after that, we lose Troy! If we ever get him back, we'll probably lose Shirley a second later!" Annie predicted.
"I'm pretty sure we can't dump two…..people of color in a row. Probably against Greendale diversity law or something," Jeff poorly reassured.
"So we lose Britta then, you get the idea! The point is no matter what we do lately, we lose something or someone! Things just keep changing! If I can't change with it and make this a little better for me and Abed, when can I? I'd rather do that than miss Troy….and miss finally having a real home with a real family all together! But I can't even do that!" Annie lamented.
Jeff now sat down in Abed's recliner, but looked uncertain on what else to do. Annie could barely wonder about that, as she had one more regret to get through first.
"I was really proud that I could live with Troy, you know," Annie restarted. "Despite this….weird, unrequited love I had for him once, we stillbecame great friends and roommates! It's one of the best things I've done since I came to Greendale! The fact that I could be that close to him despite that history, with no crazy love stuff in the way anymore…..it really reassured me."
Before Annie really thought about how she said that in front of Jeff, she continued, "Now he's gone and I miss him, but I have to be strong for Abed! I have to at least try! It's just….hard right now, you know?"
Yet before Annie sunk further, she tried to shrug it off again in front of Jeff. "But it's still my problem. I'm the one that has to keep this place going now. And I can't get frustrated enough to make you help me. I mean, there has to be one adult left in this apartment."
"You think you got me here by manipulating me?" Jeff spoke up.
"Well, I didn't have to tell you I was dressed as Catwoman. But here you are, so…." Annie left unfinished.
"Annie, it's fairly late, so don't count on me to say all this at a normal hour," Jeff stated off the bat. When Annie nodded, Jeff went on with, "Granted, that….comment played a role in how fast I drove here. But I would have seriously thought about coming here anyway. Thought about it," he clarified.
"Why would you think that much?" Annie dared to wonder.
"In my weaker moments from this unholy summer…..I miss seeing the wonder twins together too," Jeff admitted. "It sucks that I can't just get them friendship hats at the Dean's office again to fix this. It really does."
"Well, you couldn't get away with pretending to do thattwice," Annie pointed out.
"Well, I didn't pretend the first time, so I'm probably good," Jeff blurted out. He tried to brush past it – although brushing past Annie's brighter smile, especially with that outfit on, was harder. Yet eventually he continued. "The point is, we all hate that Troy's gone, so you don't have to get through it alone. You shouldn't have to, anyway."
"I know that's true in the group, but it's different here," Annie admitted. "I mean….this isn't the first broken home I couldn't keep together, Jeff…." she almost sniffled out.
"That was not your fault, and neither is this!" Jeff assured more passionately. "Part of me wants to throttle Batman over there for making you think that. I mean, he's been kind of a jerk more than once this year, so maybe he's due for a wakeup call."
Fortunately, Jeff moved on before Annie got too upset on Abed's behalf. "But I know it's really hard for him too, I do! It shouldn't be this hard! Not for him and definitely not for you."
"Well, maybe I oversold it a little," Annie conceded. "Like I said, I don't want to manipulate you into bailing me out….not now, anyway. I mean, we might only have a yearleft together, for all we know! I can't waste it doing that stuff as much anymore. This is something I should solve withoutthose tricks. And maybe I still can."
With that, Annie left the recliner and brainstormed again. "Maybe I'll go myself, take notes, and reenact the entire movie for Abed when I get back! All 160 minutes of it…." she realized. "But that's okay. It'd probably be good practice for the biology final anyway."
Annie started to outline how taking movie notes would go, then noticed that Jeff hadn't spoken for a while. Soon he noticed the embarrassed look on his face, which confused her further. Then he saw him get that reluctant, yet determined look when he willed himself to do something for someone else.
"Let's get this straight off the bat. What I'm about to do is not because you manipulated me. Trust me, if you only used those powers, there's still no way I would do this. You're not that formidable," Jeff informed.
"Noted, I guess…." a puzzled Annie answered.
"Second and most important, no oneknows about this. No one. You can't even tell anyone I set foot in this apartment tonight. If this is the only time Abed leaves all summer, and at some point you say he hasn't been out since Troy left, you cannot say 'except for that time we saw Dark Knight Rises with Jeff!' This goes to your grave at all costs!" Jeff insisted. "For good measure, you can't make me 'get involved' in things again until next semester. That's only fair too."
"Okay, okay, I'll take it!" Annie answered, if only so Jeff would explain what the hell he was doing.
"Good, it's on the record now," Jeff noted, then paused once more. "I assume you guys made a Bane mask for Troy, and you bought a few bald caps too. Where are they, and are any of those caps…..lighter?"
"Oh…..uh, yeah, I left those on the futon over there," Annie said in an overwhelmed tone. "I was thinking of putting them on myself, you know…."
"Yeah, I got here just in time. In at least one way…." Jeff trailed off. "Don't look at me right now, okay?"
Annie followed orders and turned around, still too stunned by what Jeff seemed ready to do. Despite how a bald cap would damage his perfect hair, and how that mask would hide most of his stupidly perfect face, he was still putting them on. For her. And for Abed too.
Granted, he heard Jeff grimace and groan and maybe even cry a bit while he put on the equipment. However, he was really putting it on, as his groans sounded much more muffled, mechanical and incomprehensible. At least the mask was doing its job.
A few minutes later, Abed heard footsteps come near the blanket fort – then saw a startling sight to go with it.
"Abed! This is your liberation!" said the voice of Jeff. Or rather, it was the voice of Jeff in a barely recognizable, goofy German accent – hidden behind Troy's imitation Bane mask and a bald cap.
"You wanted Bane? Here I am!" Jeff's Bane voice garbled out. "Granted, I can't compare to crazy clowns and there's no good reason I should sound this way! And I'm too hot to be covered up like this, but I am anyway! So let me take that out on Batman and his easily bendable back! That is, if he has the guts to show up with Catwoman there!"
Annie went to the blanket fort and looked at Abed with Jeff – if only to distract herself from the sights and sounds of Jeff right now. If Abed was equally shocked, there was no way he'd show it, of course. Instead of saying anything, he got up, left the blanket fort and seemed to head for the closet – where his Batman suit was.
"Oh my God, you did it!" Annie cheered. "Jeff – I mean, Bane! I think it worked!"
"Good, now keep him out for a few minutes!" Jeff talked normally, although he was still muffled and barely coherent. Yet he sounded clearer after lifting the Bane mask up and breathing heavily. "This may be the last clear air I get for five hours, I need this!"
Five hours, that was long enough for…. "You're goingto the movie with us?" Annie asked.
"I already had a ticket for tomorrow's 5:00 show. At least now I can stay in on Friday night and get some sleep. And by some, I mean 40 straight hours," Jeff guessed. Annie could relate, with her own long weekend of sleep she'd planned after school tomorrow. And she couldn't help but smirk over how Jeff really was a comic book nerd after all.
Before she noted that or could begin to thank Jeff, Abed returned as Batman and Jeff quickly lowered the Bane mask again. "Ah, my two arch-enemies. Or at least one arch-enemy and one love interest, depending on what version of Catwoman you are," Abed pointed to Annie while making his Batman growl. "Perhaps this is one comic book threequel that won't destroy me until the next reboot after all."
"Care to find out for sure, Batman?" Annie dared to hope. "Bane's ready if you are," she noted as Jeff made himself nod.
"The night calls to me. As it does every three to four years. This time, perhaps it's Batman's turn to say 'Hello, movie heroes who've made three straight great epics? I've broken the superhero glass ceiling, let me in. Frodo Baggins needs a friend by now.'," Abed/Batman rambled.
"Maybe something that looked impossible, and meaningless without the Joker, is possible after all. With the stuff I just overheard from Catwoman from my illegal wiretap program, and with Bane's latest surprising heroism, Batman knows he truly owes it to them to give it a shot. I'm Batman, so I would know." Abed repeated.
Annie beamed over Batman's admission that Abed had heard her and been moved – so at least Jeff couldn't take all the credit. But despite his affecting words, Abed was still in blank Batman mode as he continued. "First let me get our tickets. Bane, follow the law for once and don't blow up your ticket stub. Or the movie theater."
"It will be very painful for me. But I'll give it a shot," Jeff quipped in his Bane accent. Abed flew around the room before getting the tickets, which gave Annie time to talk to Jeff out of character.
"Jeff, you still don't have to do this," Annie gave him one last out. "You can drive with us and then get home before anyone sees you. Once me and Abed are in the theater, I can handle him from there. And don't say anything about how pervs or robbers might get us all alone!"
"They do that in that neighborhood?" Jeff asked, then stopped when Annie glared at him. "Well, that's only the 5'th best reason for me to go anyway."
"Really? What's the No. 1 reason?" Annie inquired.
Jeff let one more pause linger, then answered, "It's because…..you're the only two heroes that a guy like Bane would ever do this for."
Annie briefly deflated at how Jeff didn't say she was the only person. Then again, he went out of his way a lot for Abed too, as that infamous birthday party proved. And since Annie already knew Jeff would do lots of things for her, it was no big deal. But she never thought he'd alter his face like this for her or Abed. "Bane – I mean, Jeff! Thank you," she let out.
Even with the Catwoman mask on, Annie's adoring Jeff look shone through. And even with a bald cap and a Bane mask that hid much of Jeff's precious face, his special Annie glare came through too.
"Mi'catlady?" Jeff asked as he offered his arm. Annie giggled, yet didn't have a "Milord" back for him.
"Too bad 'Mi'banelord' makes no sense. And I can't say 'Mi'batlord' to you," Annie noted.
"Yes, too bad. Uh….you and Batman aren't….involved in this movie, right?" Jeff checked.
"I don't know, you know Nolan never gives away plot stuff. I guess it depends on what Marion Cotillard's part is," Annie theorized.
"If she's spinning any totums, I will walk out of there. I can't stay up thinking about another Nolan mind freak movie at 4 a.m.!" Jeff declared.
"I know that. Let's just hope hedoes," Annie agreed before Abed/Batman flew back with the tickets, then took a deep breath and opened the door. He then took his first non-school related steps out of the apartment in weeks, and Catwoman and Bane soon went out to join him.
The three heroes/villains made their way to the theater, as Jeff drove while keeping his head down from the nearby public. He was barely less embarrassed when they got in line, despite all the others around in Bane masks. Yet with his bald cap, and with no way for others to recognize his voice, no one could humiliate him by recognizing him.
It also helped to have Annie around as Catwoman. Most importantly, she looked excited, although this was more Abed's thing and she was miserable a half hour ago. The fact that Jeff helped fix this for a while almost made covering up his flawless face worth it. Almost.
Watching the actual movie with Annie and Abed helped as well. So did those Annie-Anne Hathaway comparisons he remembered to tease/complement Annie with afterwards. However, on Jeff's updated list of best Catwomen, Hathaway still trailed behind Pfeiffer and Edison.
But Jeff and Annie knew this was just a temporary win. Abed would likely lock himself in the apartment again after tonight, Annie would stress out again over keeping the apartment together, and everyone would go back to missing Troy. Yet this night offered some relief after months of loss, which was more than welcome.
Jeff saw how relieved Annie was to get that much – so much that she wasn't sleepy at 3 a.m. She even had enough adrenaline to give a pretty big hug before Jeff drove off for the night. It made such an impact that for some reason, he thought of her smile more than hugging her body in that sexy suit. Plus he forgot to remove his Bane stuff until he was almost home – although anyone in public could have seen him in it.
But this gave him an excuse to come back later, return it all, see Annie, talk about the movie, safely geek out in front of her and then maybe even –
Whoh. Well, Jeff could blame those thoughts on how sleepy he was. Yes, that's what he'd do.
Maybe it was best to stay out of the Trobed breakup thing from now on. After all, he still had a Hellish summer semester to survive so his four-year plan would stay intact. It was probably best to focus on that, and not other stuff, for a while now.
In a way, Anne would be proud of him for finally focusing on his education. Not that it mattered that much. Besides, after defacing his moneymaker for her, he'd given her just about everything he could.
Well, not everything. Not yet.
By the time Jeff resolved that, Annie finally got Abed settled before they headed home. She could get a good two hours of sleep before school later that morning – which was more than she expected. That counted as another overdue win for her, Abed and their broken but resilient mini-family.
After Annie drove off with Abed, their parking space was free for a minute before an Air Conditioning Repair School van took its spot. Their private screening/AC repair field assignment would start on schedule – although a certain prospective Messiah in a Bane mask had other things on his mind.
Especially since his new classmates were far less accurate – yet far creepier – in their Batman and Catwoman outfits than his favorite Bat and Cat.