Deadpool sat atop a building quietly; he was in a troubled state of anger, depression and frustration. His relationship with Death was falling apart and he was having doubts on if it would even last.
She was the embodiment of death; the ending of life and a being that claimed human souls. The only time he could see her is when he killed someone for hire and came to collect the body; either that or he tried to kill himself to which he got a few hours with her before healing.
He was growing tired of the emotional turmoil he was going through; plus she was always so distant. They had strong emotions for one another but no matter how hard he reached she was always out of his grasp.
"Maybe it's time I moved on" Wade muttered under his breath. While she had a body literally worth dying for; she had even stated it wasn't healthy for him to solely put his attention towards her. Being an immortal god of death itself; she had century's worth of intelligence. While Wade was very dear to her she had made insinuations that she was not the right woman for him.
It was hard for him; he had been in multiple marriages and had been with many women; but of all of them Death and his first love Copycat were of the closest to his heart. It was hard for him to accept but some things were not meant to be.
They were the only women to have looked upon his mutated and scarred face without disgust or fear. They loved all of him and loved him regardless of the walking tumour he was.
"I wonder if there is anyone out there for me" Deadpool thought to himself as he gazed up at the starry sky.
Suddenly he heard someone running; quick and agile steps coming in his direction. They were not headed at him; but more they were coming his way. He sat where he was calmly; it's not like he was unarmed and he could kick their ass within a second.
Eventually a figure in a red and blue styled bodysuit; with black spider patterns back flipped onto the building across from him. She landed effortlessly in a crouching position once reaching the top of the building.
Wade could only stare in awe utterly speechless; for the longest time he had admired Spiderwoman as his hero. Like him she did her job to keep criminals off the street; only she did it to be a hero and he was paid to. However they were both hated by society and had few people who actually liked him.
However he had not expected her to be so...so damn hot. She had a great curvy figure which was complimented well by her tight suit. Long lean legs with a voluptuous rear that would make any guy look twice. But he was more drawn to her very well proportioned bosom that looked great in that suit.
"Holy crap it's Spiderwoman! We gotta say hi and ask for an autograph!" Voice one cried excitedly.
"Then I could have it framed or put in my drawer" Deadpool said excitedly his tone practically squealing. However not loud enough for the web slinger to hear him (thank god)
"Please; Like Spiderwoman would give us the light of day. That girl is way out of our league" Voice two stated coldly.
"We don't know that; she could love crazy dudes" Deadpool muttered crossly. Hell Death and Vanessa had stayed loyal to him despite him being a nut; so why wouldn't she?
"Yeah; Girls love crazy guys! And we're all types of crazy!" Voice one stated proudly.
"Not to mention charming as all hell" Deadpool stated proudly his ego somewhat present. He was very proud of the fact many women had wanted a piece of the D-pool; it meant he was still a catch.
"Unless we annoy the hell out of her with our motor mouth" Voice two reminded him crossly.
"Cable likes our motor mouth" Deadpool said firmly. His voices were starting to annoy him now but he still wanted to meet the voluptuous Spiderwoman in person.
"Cable doesn't have to put up with us every day because he time travels" Voice two answered back.
Deadpool sighed heavily; he was growing tired of the ongoing conversation in his head. He just wanted some peace and quiet for a while. He picked up his gun; pulled the trigger and shot himself in the head.
Suddenly everything went quiet; he felt a ringing in his head as the bullet passed through his brain. Eventually the ringing stopped and blackness surrounding him and the annoying voices stopped. He felt his body fall forwards slowly before everything went black and lost all feeling.
A short time later
"Wade...Wade" a smoky seductive and oh so familiar voice said in his ear gently. He knew who that voice was without even having to say her name.
"Hey sugar skull; it's been a long time" Wade said fondly his tone hinting playfulness.
"It has been some time since I have looked upon your broken shell; how are you my sweet tumour?" Death cooed softly stroking her lovers face fondly.
His head was laid upon her lap as she knelt before him in whatever void they were in; as per their meeting would be short but sweet.
"All the better to see these babies" Wade said gleefully. He snaked his arm around her waist and buried his face in her busty bosom.
Death chuckled in amusement; he was one of the few humans she had become fond of. He was not like the other boring humans out there; he was unpredictable and wild.
"And you've gotten bigger" she cooed seductively grabbing his crotch. If he were dead she would finally be able to enjoy his embrace; sadly that day would never come.
"She's massaging our sack!" Voice 1 screamed loudly joy flowing through him.
"This situation had indeed escalated quickly" Voice two said his tone aroused yet awkward.
"Someone is waiting for you; so I think it's about time you woke up" She said thoughtfully her voice playful.
"Wait; what?!" Wade said confused but was snapped out of his dream instantly.
In present time
"Hey! Hey are you alright?! A voice yelled loudly in his ear. It was female but not one he recognized.
His head was ringing and he could hear his brain mending itself; yet again his time with Death had been short but sweet. He really needed something better to do with his time than this.
"Ugh...what?" he mumbled weakly his head buzzing and the world vaguely coming back into colour. His vision was blurry but it was slowly coming back to normal; back to the real word.
"Oh thank god! I saw you fall off that roof neighbouring me and I saved you from your fall; if not you'd have been human road kill" the female voice said again.
Wade's vision returned and his eyes nearly popped out of skull and his heart raced like a jackhammer. Holding him in their warm embrace with a look of concern was none other than the web slinging babe he had seen not long ago.
"OH MY GOD! YOU'RE SPIDERWOMAN!" Deadpool yelled loudly excitement evident in his voice. Not long ago he had been nuzzled in death's soft bosom; now he was in Spiderwoman's shapely bosom.
He buried his face into her chest wrapping his arms around her waist. Perhaps shooting himself hadn't been so bad; he had been saved by the web slinging babe of his dreams!
Spiderwoman frowned at the merc now motor-boating her chest; she was relieved he was fine but was not so happy about his perverted antics. However part of her was touched she had a fan; not many people liked her nowadays.
She slowly squeezed out of his grasp and got to her feet "I'm...uh...glad you're feeling better. You really should be careful atop tall buildings" she stammered awkwardly.
She wasn't really used to being the most popular girl in the world; at work the only guy who paid her attention was her perverted boss. Any other guy ignored her or was taken; they apparently didn't like nerds.
Other than that she had recently broken up with long time crush Marcus James; her old neighbour and ex flame. Their breakup had hit her hard and she had cut ties with him after he decided to move to another city.
Deadpool noticed the blush she was trying to hide; he may have not been able to see her face but her cheeks practically burned through the mask. "God she's so cute" he thought to himself eagerly.
She was about to head back to her apartment; after catching some thieves it had been relatively quiet. Her plan for the rest of the evening was go home; get changed into something more comfy and eat.
"Say Spidey; I was wondering if you wanna hang out sometime?" Wade asked casually. He was not going to let such a babe slip through his fingers.
Spiderwoman said nothing utterly speechless; this night was just one surprise after another. Not that she hated it; but she was sure he was just messing with her. "I...I kinda have a tight schedule; A lot of things keep me busy nowadays" she said awkwardly.
It wasn't really a lie; between being a superhero, looking after her ailing aunt May and working for the daily bugle. Life was very hectic; she was lucky if she got enough sleep let alone free time.
Wade pouted sadly but he could tell from her tone she wasn't lying; he may not have been able to see her face but her eyes said it all. However he wasn't going to give up yet; Wade Wilson was not a quitter.
He pulled a scrap of paper from his belt; he then quickly jotted down his number. He passed the paper to a very confused looking Spiderwoman. "Next time you get bored or got time to kill; gimme a buzz" he said quickly throwing in a little wink at the end.
Spiderwoman looked at the paper quietly; she then pulled the neck of her suit and placed the paper underneath. The paper crinkled under her suit and it slightly scratched her skin but it wasn't too annoying.
"I know this sounds kinda cheeky since we just met..." Deadpool began quickly.
Spiderwoman raised her eyebrow; she had saved his life, taken his number and ignored his little assault earlier. What else did this guy want from her?
"But...Um; I kinda need to get to the ground. I don't fancy trying a stunt like earlier by trying to reach the ground" he explained awkwardly his tone somewhat joking.
She suddenly realized what he was trying to get at; he needed a lift to the streets "Oh right; you need a lift" she said suddenly. With that she grabbed Deadpool's utility belt and shot some webbing at a building; before he knew it Deadpool was soaring through the air by his trousers with his idol.
Deadpool screamed loudly at first but eventually his fear turned to adrenaline. He was soaring through the city at night held by his belt by Spiderwoman. This night just couldn't get any better. "BEST DAY EVEEEERRRR!" He screamed at the top of his voice while Spiderwoman just sighed and rolled her eyes.
Eventually she reached a small apartment block above a back alley; the roof was dark so nobody would see her. She dropped the merc onto the ground to which he landed with a loud oof.
She then shot some of her web wanting to escape while she could; she already felt uncomfortable from their little intimate session earlier. She then leapt off the building into the night.
"Call me!" Deadpool called loudly as she vanished into the night. He really wanted to see that booty-licious web slinger again.
"I really hope she calls; her blushing face was so cute" Voice one chirped excitedly.
"Considering we motor-boated the poor girl; I doubt she very much will" Voice 2 said bluntly.
Deadpool said nothing and simply lay there for a short while revelling in his happy moments "Yeah she's gonna call".