Title: Reflections of the Mind, Confessions of the Soul
Author: storyteller73
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Derek Derek
Rating: FRM
Warning/Spoiler: mild slash, mild spoilers, self-beta
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters mentioned in this story.
Summary: While waiting to ring in the New Year Aaron becomes pensive as his mind replays all the risk his lover has taken during the year..
A/N: Written for the "New Year Resolution" fic challenge.
Yes, risk taking is inherently failure-prone. Otherwise, it would be called sure-thing-taking. ~Tim McMahon
Derek closes his eyes, a content smile on his face as he snuggled cozily next to Aaron on the coach. The fire was crackling in the fire place and music was playing softly in the background.
Clooney was lying at their feet, occasionally raising his head to see what they were doing, but mostly content with the quiet warmth that embrace the entire house.
Aaron wrapped his arms tighter around Derek drawing him even closer to himself, he then turned his head and placed a kiss on Derek's temple; when Derek looked up at him he was floored by the raw emotions on Aaron's face. Not wanting to break the mood of moment unnecessarily, he pulled Aaron's head down for a kissing hoping against hope that it was quiet whatever demons were lurking below the surface.
Breaking the kiss and he touch his forehead to Derek's and closed his eyes for a few minutes trying his best to quiet his own brewing storm. It would not last long as Derek began to feel an intention creep within the silence that earlier was warm and comforting and he could no longer ignore that his lover's needs. Reaching up and gently touching Aaron's cheek was always a sure way to get the older man's attention when his brain refused to shut off from the day's events and right now was no exception. Being sooth by the action caused his lover to lean into the touch unconsciously before opening his eyes again and looking at his lover with fondness, want and devotion.
"Hey, what's with the pensive expression?"
Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowing, Aaron gave him a small smile before responding softly. "I was just thinking about the events that transpired throughout the year."
"Why think about them now; when we're on the eve of a new year? Asked Morgan. "A year that promises so many new and exciting things for us as a couple, and frankly I can't wait for them to start happening."
"Because my love, I almost lost you on several occasion and having you here, right now in my arms just makes me think of how lucky I am that I can still hold you, kiss you, make love to you and all the other stuff that I can still do with and to you."
"Of course I'm here with you, where else would I be you silly man?"
"I'm being serious Derek," Aaron said giving him one of his patented glares. "There were so many times when I thought I would have to call your mom and sisters to tell them that you were either in the hospital or dead and a couple of those instances have been flashing in my mind at different intervals during the night sitting here with you."
"We all take risks Aaron not just me, but you, Reid, Prentiss the whole team at one time or another and if you haven't noticed it's kind of comes with the job, their just stingy on the hazard pay that's all."
'Keeping tabs on every time I risk my life to help one of the many victims we attempt to rescue everyday will drive you insane and that's not acceptable to me at any level because I need you to be sane for when I do things like kissing you among other things."
"You wouldn't be trying to distract me from what I was saying would you?"
Derek placed his hand on his chest and smiled at Aaron feigning innocence. "Never; I wouldn't think about ever doing such a thing to you."
"Good, I will hold you to that; now where was I?"
"Do you really want me to answer that?"
"I expect you to let me finish." Aaron responding with a smirk. "What I wanted to say was that every time I think about what could have happened and didn't, it just makes me want to wrap you in my arms and never let you go. I mean is that wrong because the last thing I want is for you to think that I'm holding you back."
"Well you're not keeping me back and knowing that's how you feel just makes me love even more than I already do."
"So does that mean no more getting kidnapped by notorious serial killers?
"You know I can't promise that, anything is liable to happen in our line of work."
"Okay, how about no more taking on Section Chief's whose morals and sense of duty lies in how important you are and no more psycho politicians
"That was probably a one off encounter. After all how many times in your career have you faced two such individuals at the same time?"
"I can't recall ever being in that situation but that doesn't mean I want you facing it again."
"Since you can't, how about we talk about something else that doesn't involve the BAU, our team, the Section Chief o victims and definitely not extremely dangerous and psychotic Unsubs.
"Okay how about we talk about new years resolutions and see if there is any we would like to make, we got forty-five minutes before it gets here."
"I thought we weren't going to make any new years resolutions this time around ?"
"Yeah, I know that's what we said but the thought of losing you really scares me Derek and if there's some way to keep that from happening then I'm willing to try. If I were to lose you then you would never truly know how much I love you or how good we could have been."
"I've waited a very long time to be with you like this, almost a lifetime if I really thought about it and the last thing I want is for it to be cut short because you risked your life unnecessarily during one of our many cases. I don't think I would survive that at all."
"I wish I could just promise you I wouldn't be taking any risk from now on but that would be a rather improbable promise and a complete lie. Its part of the job, a part of who I am and I'm not certain I can change overnight or because it's a new year."
"What I can promise you is not to be reckless with my life because the last thing I want is to cause you undue pain or to worry unnecessarily. I love you Aaron Hotchner, more than I can probable put into words and I do intend on spending the rest of my life not only telling you this but showing you as well."
Aaron's face was a light with a wide smile as he kissed Derek after his declaration of love and devotion. "I guess that's as close to a new year's resolution as I am going to get from you, huh?"
"Just be thankful for small miracles Aaron, they don't happen often." Derek said to him causing them both to chuckle.
"Talking about resolutions, aren't you going to make any of your own? Derek asked him curiously.
"Me, why would I want to do that?" responding Aaron only half serious, the mischief showing clearly in his voice and eyes.
"Wait, wait, I'm not the only one in this relationship that takes risk on the job; certainly not the one who walked un-armed into the house of an Unsub with a psychotic break and his equally psychotic father….."
Before Derek could continue he was cut off by a passionate kiss from Aaron. "What was that for?" Demanded Derek after pulling out of the kiss.
Smiling at his young lover Aaron got up from the coach and pulled Derek with him then proceeded to walk them to the better without uttering a single word in response to Derek's question.
"Are you going to any me anytime before the year end's or do I have to wait 'till next year to get a response?"
Once they got to the bedroom Aaron began undressing his lover and only when they were both naked and lying in bed did he answer Derek's question.
"Are you still wondering why I cut you off and brought you in here?" Not waiting for a response to his quest he continued. "To enlighten you my love, I believe I promised to make love to you to bring in he new year and since we are minutes away from it I thought I'd better start preparations, after all I would want to start the new year breaking my promises to you."
Watching the his young lover's face transform into a bright smile, Aaron kissed him trying his best to convey everything he was feeling into it and hoping above all that the new year would bring nothing but joy, love and happiness for them.
As the sound of distant cheering and fireworks reach theirs ears both paused from kissing to say their wishes to other.
"Happy New Year Aaron, I love you."
"Happy New Year to you Derek, I love you too."
The End..